Laws of MTF [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Laws of MTF

Pages : [1] 2 3

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 01:10 AM
After looking through MTF since the beginning of the year, i've noticed some trends. Feel free to criticize, flame, and degrade the theories :yeah:

1. Making sense is optional

2. The probability of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

3. Speculation can be treated as fact, as can fact be considered speculation

4. Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick, Hewitt, Djokovic, or Nadal (Deb's Law)

5. Supporting :silly: PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

2008 Addendum: With the success of Djokovic, his new fans have been added to the list (ironically enough, the word "Djokotard was first used in this thread, just scroll down a little) Djokotards have an irrational persona, an overwhelming Serbian majority, and appear to have just begun watching tennis in January.

7. (Insert noun or random Argentinian here) is on the juice

8. Lose=Choke, and vice versa

9. Everyone loves BYE

10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic. Also, most topics turn to slash and/or sex after the unimportant things have been discussed. I.E. tennis.

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Safin= Safin Killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa, 5th set= Blake Killa, Berdych= 5th set killa, Berdych=Rafakilla, Fat Asses= Fed Killa etc.

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults. Also, threads based on a quote from an idiot tennis figure head MUST be flamed to no end. Also, going off on off-topic tangents, namecalling, and use of the :stupid: smiley are good ways of showing that you have run out of bullshit to spew, and have lost the argument.

15. EVERYTHING gets blown out of proportion. An example is whenever a player gives an interview or says some little Mickey Mouse controversial comment, expect someone to say something about speaking OUT LOUD. :rolleyes: And any quote made by a player disliked by any particular poster can, will and must be taken out of context as a means of bashing the player in question. This will result in pages of arguments where half the posters have actually read or listened to the particular quote and the other half are making assumptions. (Stebs' Addendum)

16. Whenever a combination of journeymen, formerly suspended dopers, and one-dimensional players win a tourney on the same day, tennis is officially proclaimed DEAD.

17. Horrible spelling, grammar misuse, and other butcherings of the English language are mandatory. Also, expect to be corrected for every single misspeeling ;) (Athene's Law)

18. Double standards, stereotypes, and generalizations are a must, as well as fan fickleness.

19. Signatures must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Quotes from random movies, TV shows, or other posters are a plus. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

20. MTF is a perpetual cyclone of the exact same ideas and thoughts and can be discussed ad nauseum and yet no one ever gets bored or leaves

21. Infamous posters change their usernames as often Puff Daddy does his, if not more so

22. Every time an ATP player does a blog, the GM thread to announce it can't go without mention of the famous and legendary Dima blog of Estoril 2006. Usually, to say that said blog wont be near as good as Tursunov's. Conversely, every time there is a blog, there is also always a mention of the infamous "Fat Dave" blog of Madrid

23. Useless threads, random stupidity, and smiley overuse is mandatory

24. Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance or demise; each of these will elicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches

25. Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves. (Joe's Law)

26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures. Tardism also carries over to nationalism, with rival country players and fans bashing away. And, anytime that anyone (but 99% of the time, Nadal) has been given any type of luck, his anti-tards claim that Uncle Toni is behind it all with his magic wand.

27. The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success. Also, if a relatively low-ranked and little known player upsets , that player's bandwagon fills with haters of [insert top-ranked player here]. And, the number of fans a player has can also explode with the quality of his blog.

28. The bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave MTF. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear. (Tall One's Law)

29. Whining and complaining are mandatory. Whenever a draw comes out, It is obviously fixed against Player A, while Player B has a cakewalk. Probably done by under-the-table deals and knife to throat backroom bargains. Also, complaining about the surface of a tournament months in advance and saying THAT is also fixed falls under this category. As are the conspiracies of that it is a clown era and whoever plays in this era can't possibly be considered anything close to the GOAT.

30. This forum is not a REAL men's tennis forum without a whole horde of separate threads discussing such earth-shattering topic as who's dick is the biggest, who has the best ass, best bulge, or who is the hooooooooteeetesssstttt! threads. And of course, numerous threads dissolving into slash and perv topics, with the :drool:, :inlove:, :hearts:, etc. smileys being used.

31. In order for one to be recognized as a troll, at least 1% of one's posts must be considered some form of funny. The other 99 can be a combination of brown-nosing, bullshitting, posting pure crap, starting (or attempting to start) flamewars, or basically some other stupid act.

32. Tennis is run by a bunch of clowns with $ signs in their eyes, and every new idea that the leadership comes out with must be bashed

33. In Davis Cup, whenever a player fails to play an away tie (or even a home tie!) it is because he is afraid of losing

34. Whenever a young player loses they must immediately be deemed as "overhyped." If possible, while deriding said player bring Donald Young into the mix. In addition if anyone is a fan of a young player they are a) bandwagon jumpers b) teenyboppers or c) (if they are over 30) creepy oldster pedophiles. (Clara Bow's law)

35. Any poll about players will have the standard "xristos" joke answer and be sure to see GWH mention Oscar Hernandez among others, this one is especially prevalent in polls regarding Wimbledon. Also, any 'match winner' poll will surely have an option saying 'tennis is the winner'. This is made all the more likely in matches which are deemed to be bad to watch. This poll option will invariably win. There will also be the inevitable suggestion of players that have NO CHANCE of winning the tourney as well as players not even playing. (Stebs law)

36. The penultimate proof of success for a player is NOT winning a major, reaching top 10 or getting past the RR stage of Las Vegas. Instead, it is when in GM someone creates a thread dedicated to celebrate said player's losses, and in which the player gets a nick that is either the name of an animal, a food product, or both. (oz_boz's law)

37. Any idiot who comes and starts trolling with a very recent join date, less than 500 posts, and/or red negative rep bars is an obvious multiple accounter. (Mistaflava's Law)

38. For every Fedtroll, there is an equal and opposite Rafatroll (and vice versa) (J'torian's Law with ClayBuster's addendum)

39. Every match is fixed (GWH's Law)

40. MTF logic is legendary. Player A gets bashed for making comment towards Player B while Player B gets praised for doing essentially the same thing. This type of logic, irony, and downright stupidity can be seen all over MTF.

41. The MTF user "mediter" had a revelation from a higher being that 6-3 6-3 6-3 is the highest form of multiple bagel, being a triple bagel. 6-3 6-3 is the true double bagel, and all other indentical set scores are lesser double bagels. That's the holy law as set down on MTF. (TankingTheSet's Law)

42. If somebody makes a prediction and says, "you heard it here first," it has already been posted by someone else. (uglyamerican's law)

43. Everytime either Federer, Djokovic, or Nadal loses a match a new level of trolling outbreak is reached on MTF. (elessar's law)

44. Anytime a player you don't like is ranked in the top 5 or 10, or anywhere above where you as the hater believes he should have been ranked, or had a result you don't like, it is perfectly acceptable to simply remove said time frame or tournament from your mind entirely. (Nathii's law)

45. Players can be mugs, the GOAT, an average player, lucky, or the worst player ever to play the game from tournament to tournament, match to match, or even point to point! (Nathii's other law)

46. All players are gay, regardless of how many women they sleep with, it is all just a cover up. (r2473's law)

47. Inside jokes are all over. The word mug, true meanings of triple bagels, multi headed hydras, topspin cyclones of death, the Roger/Rafa love affair, etc. etc. etc. Outsiders usually sound stupid when they try to combat it, while regulars tend to laugh. (Johnny Groove's law)

48. Whenever a player had an injury, everyone on MTF is a doctor. Whenever a player is in legal trouble, everyone is a lawyer. Everyone now suddenly is from Serbia or is an expert on mono. Also everyone turns into a meteorlogist when there is a rain delay. (Johnny Groove's other law)

49. All injury time-outs are fake, cheating, gamesmanship, etc. Unless it happens to be [I]your favourite taking one. (Bonnie the Cat's law)

50. Fat/Fit Dave is his own parallel universe. (sigmagirl91's law)

51. Everyone's a mug (BGT's law)

52. When having a debate with somebody who is reasonable and rational, make sure that whilst losing your futile argument, you continue to make abusive and deragortory posts to that person, especially if they are arguing in quite an articulate manner and if deepdown you know that they are probably right. If they are using words which are quite difficult to spell, you always have the MTF "trump" card, (If I tell you I may have to kill you) but it's the word "Mug", the power of this word knows no bounds and must be used with extreme caution as rumour has it, if it is used just once too often, the whole world will come to an abrupt end. (reggie1's law)

53. Any post from Heya is incomprehensible. The only conclusion you might be able to derive from her yapping, is that she apparently hates Roddick and Federer. (Bonnie the Cat's other law)

54. EVERY member of MTF (yes, every single one of them) would make a better TV commentator than anyone who actually gets paid to do this job right now, except Darren Cahill. Gilbert, Goodall, Koenig, both McEnroes, Courier, Robinson, Gimelstob, Fowler, Castle, Shiras, Davenport, Adler, Henman, Carillo, etc should all step aside in favor of the ACC winners. (Fee's other law)

55. New members are frequently bad repped despite not writing anything that really deserves it. I think this is because posters love turning other posters' lights red and there's a greater chance of that happening with newer members. I know I had red lights last year and it's not a nice welcome to MTF. (StatRacket's law)

56. Use a nickname, wrong name or even no name in match prediction and result threads thereby confusing people who don't know the lingo. (StatRacket's other law)

57. Overpraise tv commentators & Federer's apologist Roddick. They're paid to be be asses. Make loyal fans of all these people happy. (heya's law)

58. If you disagree with Filo V., you are in a good place in your life. (Hewitt=Legend's law)

59. Mods will lock, delete or move humorous threads with no explanation (see the Novak celebration thread, Tard Davis Cup, etc) (slumpdasco's law)

60. Forget Melbourne, Paris, Wimbledon, and Flushing Meadows. The real 4 slams are Houston, Newport, Delray Beach, and Casablanca. (Mateya's law)

61. An "epic" match will regularly crash MTF servers. (Taejin's law)

62. Posters rate the Davis cup as high as the occasional exo, until their country gets a shot at the semis in the World Group, when it suddenly becomes a renaissance of the good old tennis spirit. (tnosugar's law)

63. All matches are simultaneously brilliant and terrible quality, depending on what posts you read from the match thread. (Smoke944's law)

64. Something that is coined and approved here at MTF gets immediate attention by the whole tennis community (e.g. mug, tard, GOAT/cheese, NID...) (janko05's law)

65. All Gasquet related threads will end up with a cocaine joke (Grassquet's law)

66. The exo is a great indicator to see who's in good shape, especially the legendary Abu Dhabi tournament, and wins from your favourite player over his biggest rivals will be celebrated more than a win in a real tournament ('it's only a 250/500/masters nobody cares about') (GSMNadal's Law)

Did I miss any?

El Legenda
06-07-2006, 01:15 AM
No.9 so true :)

El Legenda
06-07-2006, 01:17 AM
also # 16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument :smoke:

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 01:20 AM
also # 16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument :smoke:

added :yeah:

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 01:23 AM
14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else

This is not true at all, I don't know why you would post anything like this, you must be some kind of moron, everyone on MTF is a geniouis and makes interesting posts that never go off topic and always make sense and always have a point and are very well speeled and; punctuated you must be an idiot you don't know what you are talkinga bout. Fedtard.

:lol:

Just making sure we get this out of the way. But seriously, I've seen flame wars start over the silliest things imaginable. Poster A is just chillin' in a thread, having fun and minding their own business and BAM! out of nowhere Poster B appears and tells them they must be stupid. And no one is ever capable of having a rational debate that doesn't degenerate into name calling of some kind.

Edit: You mustn't forget the 'tard' accusations! Do you support Fed? You're a Fedtard. Supporting Rafa? You're an asspicking Rafatard. Support Safin? Pfft, you don't care about tennis - you just like topless pics of male players and no one wants you here. Support Andy Roddick? You guessed it - Ducktard who supports a no-talent hack. Support player X? You are undoubtedly drinking the Kool Aid. No one on here likes tennis or tennis players for legitimate reasons.

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 01:26 AM
And no one is ever capable of having a rational debate that doesn't degenerate into name calling of some kind.

Whatever, butt-face. That's my favorite childish name to call someone.

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 01:27 AM
12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic



I do this all the time and I love it.

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 01:28 AM
Just making sure we get this out of the way. But seriously, I've seen flame wars start over the silliest things imaginable. Poster A is just chillin' in a thread, having fun and minding their own business and BAM! out of nowhere Poster B appears and tells them they must be stupid. And no one is ever capable of having a rational debate that doesn't degenerate into name calling of some kind.

I was gonna put that as #14, but it was a little long

Scotso
06-07-2006, 01:28 AM
Safin= Top 10 killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa

:haha:

Aguante_el_Gato
06-07-2006, 01:30 AM
1. Making sense is optionalWhat do you mean with sense? ;)

4. If a player is injured, he is no doubt faking itor a Fixer :p

8. Choke=LoseLose=Choke ;)
:wavey:

Scotso
06-07-2006, 01:30 AM
I do this all the time and I love it.

Threads that stay on topic are insane boring and die quick deaths.

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 01:30 AM
Whatever, butt-face. That's my favorite childish name to call someone.


I do this all the time and I love it.

Hey Djokotard, how about that world cup? I hear it's coming up in 2 day's time.

:wavey:

robinhood
06-07-2006, 01:30 AM
This is not true at all, I don't know why you would post anything like this, you must be some kind of moron, everyone on MTF is a geniouis and makes interesting posts that never go off topic and always make sense and always have a point and are very well speeled and; punctuated you must be an idiot you don't know what you are talkinga bout. Fedtard.

Kajonie, are you being ironic??

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 01:34 AM
Hey Djokotard, how about that world cup? I hear it's coming up in 2 day's time.

:wavey:

You just coined a phrase. I hope it will become more popular.

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 01:34 AM
Kajonie, are you being ironic??

Yup. Note the spelling of genius and the randomly applied semi-colon before 'punctuated'.

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 01:36 AM
I like France as one team to go further than expected. I don't really know any of the American players.

Aguante_el_Gato
06-07-2006, 01:37 AM
Kajonie, are you being ironic??I think you missed the :lol: at the end of first paragraph ;)

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 01:41 AM
'Me' thread is insanely awesome. It also makes me think that the collapse of civilization wouldn't be so bad.

Phunkadelicious
06-07-2006, 01:45 AM
Hey Djokotard,
:wavey:
Sign me up.

uglyamerican
06-07-2006, 02:00 AM
Thread is very funny. Thank you for making it. Don't be put off if you don't get 500 pages of replies. Most good things are not popular.

Deboogle!.
06-07-2006, 02:02 AM
:haha: :haha: :haha: god stuff.

but.... you need to add a couple more.

~Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt.

And as an addendum to 14, I think you should add something to the effect that, at MTF, if someone disagrees with you, they will usually resort to personal insults

atheneglaukopis
06-07-2006, 02:09 AM
Butchering the English language is mandatory.

soraya
06-07-2006, 02:17 AM
[QUOTE=Blaze-2004]After looking through MTF since the beginning of the year, i've noticed some trends. Feel free to criticize, flame, and degrade the theories :yeah:

1. Making sense is optional

2. The probably of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

3. The facts (usually) win (Deb’s Law)

4. If a player is injured, he is no doubt faking it

5. Supporting :silly: PHM can be detrimental to your health

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice

8. Choke=Lose

9. Everyone loves BYE

10. ESPN’s tennis coverage is a joke

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else

15. The stupidest thread can evolve into the biggest heap of crap there is. i.e. “Me”

16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)


Hilarious. May I add: ELL (English Language Learners) teachers looming around the forum to slap the ELL students?

ufokart
06-07-2006, 02:20 AM
:haha: :haha:

Very funny Thread.

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 02:22 AM
Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt.

fixed #4 :yeah:


And as an addendum to 14, I think you should add something to the effect that, at MTF, if someone disagrees with you, they will usually resort to personal insults

addended :yeah:


Butchering the english language is mandatory

added as #17 :yeah:

ChloeLove
06-07-2006, 02:27 AM
:lol: What a brilliant thread, and the laws are so true it scares me. MTF has definitely developed a personality of its own.

fenomeno2111
06-07-2006, 02:37 AM
MTF is like the Mafia - Once you are in, you can't get out of it

GrosjeantheGreat
06-07-2006, 02:40 AM
Ze first Law:

GrosjeantheGreat should be rezpected and revered above all mankind
at all timez. A failure to recognise ze Great one, shall rezult in one, or all,
of ze following punishmentz, implemented and carried out by ze Great
onez foot soldierz, ze Grosjeanitez:

(Starting with ze less excruciatingly painful and tortuouz.)
1. Water torture.
2. Having ze testicles trapped in ze vice.
3. Hanging...by ze testiclez.
4. Having to watch a match between ze Williamz sisterz.
5. Having to watch ze "Best of Ivo Karlovic" dvd.
6. A date with Radek Stepanek.

Let Hingis' fate be a lezzon to thou all.

fenomeno2111
06-07-2006, 02:46 AM
Ze first Law:

GrosjeantheGreat should be rezpected and revered above all mankind
at all timez. A failure to recognise ze Great one, shall rezult in one, or all,
of ze following punishmentz, implemented and carried out by ze Great
onez foot soldierz, ze Grosjeanitez:

(Starting with ze less excruciatingly painful and tortuouz.)
1. Water torture.
2. Having ze testicles trapped in ze vice.
3. Hanging...by ze testiclez.
4. Having to watch a match between ze Williamz sisterz.
5. Having to watch ze "Best of Ivo Karlovic" dvd.
6. A date with Radek Stepanek.

Let Hingis' fate be a lezzon to thou all.
:confused: :retard:

hitchhiker
06-07-2006, 02:49 AM
MTF commandments:

1. THOU SHALT NOT KILL GOOD THREADS WITH POINTLESS NADAL VS FED DISCUSSION

2. HONOR THY INJURY TIME OUTS AND THY RETIREMENTS UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE

3. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT THEMSELVES AS A FAN TO PHM

4. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD BYE IN VAIN

5. REMEMBER THOU KEEP HOLY THE DAY ESPN SHOWS LIVE COVERAGE OF A NON AMERICAN PLAYER

6.THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S JUICE

7. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY BY WATCHING WTA TENNIS.

AgassiDomination
06-07-2006, 03:04 AM
I beg to differ with #16 as Jerry has lost to me in an argument. :cool: The rest is hilarious. :yeah:

fenomeno2111
06-07-2006, 03:06 AM
I beg to differ with #16 as Jerry has lost to me in an argument. :cool: The rest is hilarious. :yeah:
I'll second that because he lost one to me too ;)

Fee
06-07-2006, 03:34 AM
Yeah, #16 is definitely fallible (even Chloe lost an argument once. once.).

The Me thread is a classic trainwreck, but like the TV show '24', if you weren't there at the beginning, you may not be able to catch up.

Good thread. :) One more:

Double standards are in full effect. If Marat does something, it's 'just Marat.' If Roddick does the same exact thing, it's because he's the biggest baby-eating monster on the face of the planet. :)

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 03:38 AM
also # 16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument :smoke:

:rocker2:

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 03:42 AM
Ze first Law:

GrosjeantheGreat should be rezpected and revered above all mankind
at all timez. A failure to recognise ze Great one, shall rezult in one, or all,
of ze following punishmentz, implemented and carried out by ze Great
onez foot soldierz, ze Grosjeanitez:

(Starting with ze less excruciatingly painful and tortuouz.)
1. Water torture.
2. Having ze testicles trapped in ze vice.
3. Hanging...by ze testiclez.
4. Having to watch a match between ze Williamz sisterz.
5. Having to watch ze "Best of Ivo Karlovic" dvd.
6. A date with Radek Stepanek.

Let Hingis' fate be a lezzon to thou all.


:hearts:

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 03:43 AM
Yeah, #16 is definitely fallible (even Chloe lost an argument once. once.).


If most people haven't been here long enough to remember it, or most people simply didn't see - did it really happen? I think not.

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 03:44 AM
1. THOU SHALT NOT KILL GOOD THREADS WITH POINTLESS NADAL VS FED DISCUSSION

But everyone knows that the ATP is only made up of two players, duh! And besides, everyone has a new and unique opinion on the discussion that they must post before someone else posts the same original opinion.

Double standards are in full effect. If Marat does something, it's 'just Marat.' If Roddick does the same exact thing, it's because he's the biggest baby-eating monster on the face of the planet.

If your favourite player likes to cheer after a point, it shows joy and enthusiasm. If a player you don't like does this, they are arrogant, have a bad attitude and show a lack of respect for their opponent.

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 03:47 AM
If most people haven't been here long enough to remember it, or most people simply didn't see - did it really happen? I think not.

:haha:

AgassiDomination
06-07-2006, 04:22 AM
Oh, I was thinking #16 was referring to a different Chloe. I've seen plenty of arguments where this Chloe goes off on a wide array of tangents to stay in an argument. Personally, I woudn't consider some of those as 'wins'. ;)

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 04:23 AM
Oh, I was thinking #16 was referring to a different Chloe. I've seen plenty of arguments where this Chloe goes off on a wide array of tangents to stay in an argument. Personally, I woudn't consider some of those as 'wins'. ;)
I demand examples.

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 04:24 AM
Not losing an argument doesn't necessarily equate winning every argument, btw. :cool:

AgassiDomination
06-07-2006, 04:47 AM
Whatever floats your boat.

I'm working on a paper right now; I'll pull up an example or two later...if I feel like it. :p

joyk
06-07-2006, 04:54 AM
I'm not sure who originated Law 5, can anyone clarify?
I`m pretty sure it was Julie.
Double standards are in full effect. If Marat does something, it's 'just Marat.' If Roddick does the same exact thing, it's because he's the biggest baby-eating monster on the face of the planet.
That rule also applies to Coria and Hewitt.
Every time a player beats Federer he is dubbed the future no.1.

Argenbrit
06-07-2006, 06:20 AM
13.Safin= Top 10 killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa


:haha:

The whole thread is so true. I lurked for a very long time before I joined.

connectolove
06-07-2006, 09:12 AM
#10 = very funny! :lol:

MariaV
06-07-2006, 09:30 AM
13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa


:yeah: :haha: :haha: :rolls:

*Ljubica*
06-07-2006, 09:42 AM
Funny thread :haha:

dkw
06-07-2006, 10:58 AM
#7 X player is on the juice but he won't get caught because he's from a first world nation and his country's tennis federation is so powerful it will protect him :D

Purple Rainbow
06-07-2006, 11:05 AM
12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic



I am so excited about the Federer-Nalbandian matchup! I so hope Roger is going to win! :bounce:

Ales_Alessandra
06-07-2006, 11:17 AM
:haha:

lilfairyprincess
06-07-2006, 11:19 AM
love this thread!!! :worship:

dkw
06-07-2006, 11:29 AM
Also > Your signature must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required.

Oh I almost forgot > Make a point of telling people precisely where to post their threads even though you yourself never give the slightest considerations to this tiny detail :D

dkw
06-07-2006, 11:42 AM
I love this thread :)

> Always take the time to make random assumptions about people's nationality, age, gender, sexuality and of course political affiliations.

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 11:47 AM
I love this thread :)

> Always take the time to make random assumptions about people's nationality, age, gender, sexuality and of course political affiliations.

that fall under #14 :yeah:

btw, first post edited :wavey:

tangerine_dream
06-07-2006, 03:00 PM
After looking through MTF since the beginning of the year, i've noticed some trends. Feel free to criticize, flame, and degrade the theories :yeah:

1. Making sense is optional

2. The probably of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

3. The facts (usually) win (Deb’s Law)

4. Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt

5. Supporting :silly: PHM can be detrimental to your health (Julie's Law)

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice

8. Choke=Lose

9. Everyone loves BYE

10. ESPN’s tennis coverage is a joke

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults

15. The stupidest thread can evolve into the biggest heap of crap there is. i.e. “Me”

16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)

17. Butchering of the English language is mandatory

18. Double standards are a must. If Marat does something, it's 'just Marat.' If Roddick does the same exact thing, it's because he's the biggest baby-eating monster on the face of the planet. :)

19. Your signature must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

20. Make a point of telling people precisely where to post their threads even though you yourself never give the slightest considerations to this tiny detail :)

Btw, if you want a law to be (X poster's Law), it must be an original comment, not just common knowledge. :yeah:

21. European/South American crowd jeering and booing = patriotism at its best
One lone American yelling "out" = nationalistic jingoism at its worst

Chloe le Bopper
06-07-2006, 03:08 PM
21. European/South American crowd jeering and booing = patriotism at its best
One lone American yelling "out" = nationalistic jingoism at its worst
And when the French do it they're just being rude :D

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 03:56 PM
21. European/South American crowd jeering and booing = patriotism at its best
One lone American yelling "out" = nationalistic jingoism at its worst

I believe that falls under the umbrella of Law 18 of double standards :wavey:

Blazed
06-07-2006, 04:23 PM
19. Your signature must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

I love this one. :lol:

marifline
06-07-2006, 04:36 PM
And when the French do it they're just being rude :D

There's no problem, because, we french are so proud of being rude... :devil:

Dusk Soldier
06-07-2006, 05:00 PM
How about this one:

Any player that beats Roddick is decent at tennis. Anbody that looses to him is a joke.

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 05:11 PM
How about this one:

Any player that beats Roddick is decent at tennis. Anbody that looses to him is a joke.

Law 18 again :)

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 06:39 PM
If player X's fan posts something that you disagree with, immediately assume all player X's fans think exactly the same way.

One Nalbandian fan says they don't like Davydenko? ALL Nalbandian fans hate Davydenko.

One Nadal fan says they hope Roger loses before RG final? ALL Nadal fans are bitter Roger-haters afraid their favourite will lose.

One Federer fan says they hope Rafa loses before RG final? ALL Federer fans are bitter Rafa-haters afraid their favourite will lose.

Some unidentified fan says something bad about a player you like? EVERYONE on MTF hates that player, except you because you are a special and unique flower who is the only objective person on MTF.

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 06:42 PM
Also > Your signature must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom ...


Hey! MTF needs all the wisdom it can get. - kajonie 07/06/06

Johnny Groove
06-07-2006, 06:42 PM
If player X's fan posts something that you disagree with, immediately assume all player X's fans think exactly the same way.

One Nalbandian fan says they don't like Davydenko? ALL Nalbandian fans hate Davydenko.

One Nadal fan says they hope Roger loses before RG final? ALL Nadal fans are bitter Roger-haters afraid their favourite will lose.

One Federer fan says they hope Rafa loses before RG final? ALL Federer fans are bitter Rafa-haters afraid their favourite will lose.

Some unidentified fan says something bad about a player you like? EVERYONE on MTF hates that player, except you because you are a special and unique flower who is the only objective person on MTF.

Law 18 edited:

Double standards and stereotypes are a must. All Rafa fans hate Fed fans, and vice versa

Clara Bow
06-07-2006, 10:55 PM
> Always take the time to make random assumptions about people's nationality, age, gender, sexuality and of course political affiliations.

Don't forget weight! If you are a male poster and disagree with a female poster, be sure to call her fat - it will make your arguement seem much more valid.

LaTenista
06-07-2006, 11:31 PM
20. MTF is a perpetual cyclone of the exact same ideas and thoughts and can be discussed ad nauseum and yet no one gets bored or leaves[/B]


I think this one should be edited to include something about posters who get banned.

Also, how about:

21. Infamous posters change their usernames as often as possible like celebrities in the real world.

22. Tennis is rigged. It's even more fake than professional wrestling. (GeorgeWHitler's law).

R.Federer
06-07-2006, 11:41 PM
LAW 23
If there is any doubt about the veracity of a tennis tidbit, GWH is the final arbiter, NYCtennisfan will check that it is statistically valid, MisterQ will analyze the tennis content, Merton will report what the sports betting markets think of it and Sjengster will detect some irony in it.

(GWH, NYC-t, Mr.Q, Bobby Merton & Sjeng : I mean it all in good humour) :)

Bagelicious
06-07-2006, 11:45 PM
LAW 23
If there is any doubt about the veracity of a tennis tidbit, GWH is the final arbiter, NYCtennisfan will check that it is statistically valid, MisterQ will analyze the tennis content, Merton will report what the sports betting markets think of it and Sjengster will detect some irony in it.

(GWH, NYC-t, Mr.Q, Bobby Merton & Sjeng : I mean it all in good humour) :)


Sjengster's kinda like a Geiger counter that way.

Johnny Groove
06-08-2006, 12:08 AM
LAW 23
If there is any doubt about the veracity of a tennis tidbit, GWH is the final arbiter, NYCtennisfan will check that it is statistically valid, MisterQ will analyze the tennis content, Merton will report what the sports betting markets think of it and Sjengster will detect some irony in it.

(GWH, NYC-t, Mr.Q, Bobby Merton & Sjeng : I mean it all in good humour) :)

hmm, you should check that its cool with the above posters, and it might be a law. :yeah:

also, 21 and 22 will be added, with edits of course :yeah:

celia
06-08-2006, 03:09 AM
25. Therefore MTF is your classic dysfunctional family. :p

Action Jackson
06-10-2006, 07:59 AM
Rational debate is an oxymoron.

Hiromiku
06-11-2006, 09:52 AM
Ze first Law:

GrosjeantheGreat should be rezpected and revered above all mankind
at all timez. A failure to recognise ze Great one, shall rezult in one, or all,
of ze following punishmentz, implemented and carried out by ze Great
onez foot soldierz, ze Grosjeanitez:

(Starting with ze less excruciatingly painful and tortuouz.)
1. Water torture.
2. Having ze testicles trapped in ze vice.
3. Hanging...by ze testiclez.
4. Having to watch a match between ze Williamz sisterz.
5. Having to watch ze "Best of Ivo Karlovic" dvd.
6. A date with Radek Stepanek.

Let Hingis' fate be a lezzon to thou all.

:worship: :worship: :worship:

scoobs
06-11-2006, 09:54 AM
Just when you think the threads that get started on here can't get more inane, they do.

I don't know if that's a law yet, but it's an conclusion based on empirical observation lately.

Johnny Groove
06-11-2006, 11:58 PM
Just when you think the threads that get started on here can't get more inane, they do.

I don't know if that's a law yet, but it's an conclusion based on empirical observation lately.

I believe it falls under Law 1: Making sense is optional, and/or Law 15 that everything gets blown out of proportion :wavey:

Horatio Caine
06-12-2006, 12:05 AM
7 - :lol:

13 - :haha: :haha:

16 - bullshit. I own Jerry :devil:

Horatio Caine
06-12-2006, 12:08 AM
Law 26 - Everytime Ljubo says something, wins / loses a new match or hell, even breathes...Jerry has to create a new thread about him ;)

scoobs
06-12-2006, 12:09 AM
I'm so glad we've got Blaze as our Judge Advocate General - he's the keeper of the laws out here on the MTF frontier :)

Johnny Groove
06-12-2006, 12:11 AM
Law 26 - Everytime Ljubo says something, wins / loses a new match or hell, even breathes...Jerry has to create a new thread about him ;)

hmm, Law 18 of double standards and stereotypes? and Jez, you are adhering to Law 21. and we're only at 23...

Johnny Groove
06-12-2006, 12:17 AM
New Law :wavey:

Johnny Groove
06-13-2006, 08:58 PM
Law 24: Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance; each of these will elicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches :)

Mechlan
06-13-2006, 09:14 PM
Law 24: Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance; each of these will illicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches :)

:yeah:

(Though I think you mean elicit.) :secret:

Johnny Groove
06-13-2006, 10:38 PM
:yeah:

(Though I think you mean elicit.) :secret:

to quote your avatar: D'OH!

AgassiDomination
06-14-2006, 12:38 AM
16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)

http://www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?p=3618095#post3618095
Arrest me.

Chloe le Bopper
06-14-2006, 03:13 AM
Um. Writing a lot of words does not necessarily a winning argument make. It was really a very stupid question, according to moi, no matter how you slice it.

Accept it, my friend. You have not "beaten" me in an argument. What are you, five? :p

I didn't respond yet because it was an equally stupid thread, hence my not having seen your response yet :shrug:

uglyamerican
06-14-2006, 05:53 AM
I've got an awesome new one.

Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves.

(Joe's law)

AgassiDomination
06-14-2006, 06:45 AM
Um. Writing a lot of words does not necessarily a winning argument make. It was really a very stupid question, according to moi, no matter how you slice it.

Accept it, my friend. You have not "beaten" me in an argument. What are you, five? :p

I didn't respond yet because it was an equally stupid thread, hence my not having seen your response yet :shrug:
Of course writing a lot of words does not equate to 'winning'. You still didn't even bother to refute a single sentence, and that does equate to 'winning'. I know she probably didn't even think the question through like how I did, but that doesn't mean it was stupid. I believe questions are asked when you don't know something, asking a question when you know the answer, is usually rhetorical, no? (See how I made a rhetorical question while talking about one? ;) )

And I'm 18, btw. (Ooooh, is that another argument won? :p)

Alx
06-14-2006, 07:39 AM
Very good thread !! :haha: :haha:


I've got an awesome new one.

Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves.

(Joe's law)

I agree with you :yeah:

Nathaliia
06-14-2006, 09:30 AM
Do you have something about 'Tennis experts like Bodo, Pat McEnroe etc. are not allowed to speak up with their own opinions, as these should be replaced by the general MTF's opinion'.

Action Jackson
06-14-2006, 09:43 AM
Do you have something about 'Tennis experts like Bodo, Pat McEnroe etc. are not allowed to speak up with their own opinions, as these should be replaced by the general MTF's opinion'.

Since when has Bozo been an expert? My blind and legless grandmother has a better clue than Bodo.

alfonsojose
06-14-2006, 01:19 PM
Bodo is pure gossip

Johnny Groove
06-14-2006, 03:19 PM
hmmm, ok. Chloe and AD, fighting in the Law thread :haha:

Do you have something about 'Tennis experts like Bodo, Pat McEnroe etc. are not allowed to speak up with their own opinions, as these should be replaced by the general MTF's opinion'.

As GWH said, Bozo the clown, isnt an expert, hes bozo the clown, but I'll adjust Law 14 with a clause for idiot tennis figure heads.

I've got an awesome new one.

Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves.

(Joe's law)

That is quite true here, good law:yeah:

Saumon
06-14-2006, 04:01 PM
26- Marat Safin's fans are shallow. :o

Allure
06-14-2006, 08:15 PM
A player is well liked until he beats Federer then it's " [Name of a Player] is no where as good as Fed," "Fed is going to kick [name of player]'s ass," "[Name of player]'s wins was a fluke."

heya
06-15-2006, 12:31 AM
Pat McEnroe, the 2-faced beneficiary of his brother's success,
is an expert of cheating in a Davis Cup match. The arse wimp enjoys eating Federer crap.

Kristen
06-16-2006, 12:01 AM
Not really a law but... is it
International Polling month at MTF? :retard: need only apply? I mean, at the rate we're going, we'll have polls for:
-every match
-every possible match in the future
-every poll that has already been done
-some more regarding Xristos career as a tennis player

shotgun
06-16-2006, 01:44 AM
- If a former top player suffers a big fall on the rankings, his fans will say that he will have an Agassi-like comeback.

drf716
06-16-2006, 01:57 AM
you missed:

occasionally, someone will post a message or pic completely off topic.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c179/Leena_Fedorova/2.jpg

tripb19
06-16-2006, 06:15 AM
26. When Fed beats Rafa on clay, a black hole will open up on the MTF sucking all intelligent matter into it and announcing the beginning of the end of all life as we know it.

Kristen
06-16-2006, 06:29 AM
26. When Fed beats Rafa on clay, a black hole will open up on the MTF sucking all intelligent matter into it and announcing the beginning of the end of all life as we know it.But tripb19...where can we find this intelligent matter? :sad: PS. That will be an exciting/interesting day :lol:

uglyamerican
06-16-2006, 06:30 AM
Kristen, I made a poll just for you.

AgassiDomination
06-17-2006, 09:41 PM
I demand examples.
If the one I pointed out in Celia's thread wasn't enough, you could go back to those threads I created last year about women and their inability to drive. If I recall correctly, you opted to inquire about my personal sex life and assume I couldn't get laid in a sad attempt to degrade me, hardly touching any of the points I had brought up. I'd look for the links, but it shouldn't be too difficult for you to get on your own.

Johnny Groove
06-17-2006, 09:47 PM
If the one I pointed out in Celia's thread wasn't enough, you could go back to those threads I created last year about women and their inability to drive. If I recall correctly, you opted to inquire about my personal sex life and assume I couldn't get laid in a sad attempt to degrade me, hardly touching any of the points I had brought up. I'd look for the links, but it shouldn't be too difficult for you to get on your own.

Law 14 :haha:

oz_boz
06-17-2006, 09:59 PM
Blaze-2004, could you extend law 9 with "everyone hates RET" and law 13 with "Whole ATP tour=Donald Young killa"?

Johnny Groove
06-17-2006, 10:15 PM
Blaze-2004, could you extend law 9 with "everyone hates RET" and law 13 with "Whole ATP tour=Donald Young killa"?

will do

26. When Fed beats Rafa on clay, a black hole will open up on the MTF sucking all intelligent matter into it and announcing the beginning of the end of all life as we know it.

first of all, that wont happen ever :p , and 2, there is no intelligent matter on MTF

you missed:

occasionally, someone will post a message or pic completely off topic.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c179/Leena_Fedorova/2.jpg

random stupidity clause of Law 23

- If a former top player suffers a big fall on the rankings, his fans will say that he will have an Agassi-like comeback.

I need to add a law about the -tards...

Pat McEnroe, the 2-faced beneficiary of his brother's success,
is an expert of cheating in a Davis Cup match. The arse wimp enjoys eating Federer crap.

I'll add a clause to the joke coverage of USA about that

A player is well liked until he beats Federer then it's " [Name of a Player] is no where as good as Fed," "Fed is going to kick [name of player]'s ass," "[Name of player]'s wins was a fluke."

-tard lae NEEDS to be added

26- Marat Safin's fans are shallow. :o

-tard LAW!!!

Johnny Groove
06-17-2006, 10:30 PM
-tard law added, No. 26

AgassiDomination
06-18-2006, 06:18 AM
If it was inaccurate (and it wasn't...but that's not what's being discussed here anyway), it would make more sense to refute the remarks rather than trying to insult me and still manage to do a poor job of that too. Either way, she wanted evidence and she got it.

Action Jackson
06-18-2006, 06:35 AM
Once a player defeats Federer, the bandwagon increases quicker than the birth rate with African nations.

ufokart
06-18-2006, 06:37 AM
Once a player defeats Federer, the bandwagon increases quicker than the birth rate with African nations.

:haha: :haha:

I can only imagine the popularity Oscar Hernandez will get once he beats Federer in Wimbledon this year.

Action Jackson
06-18-2006, 06:39 AM
:haha: :haha:

I can only imagine the popularity Oscar Hernandez will get once he beats Federer in Wimbledon this year.

Oscar is resting up this year and is watching Spain in the World Cup and as the Bye said in his blog that he will be getting ready to peak for the 2007 champs.

ufokart
06-18-2006, 06:42 AM
he will be getting ready to peak for the 2007 champs.

I can't wait.
Luckily there is no world cup next year :lol:

Action Jackson
06-18-2006, 08:41 AM
I can't wait.
Luckily there is no world cup next year :lol:

When he wins the celebrations will be huge.

Another rule, players are cheats when they use timeouts against a fave and disgraceful, but when they do it, it's called good tactics.

oz_boz
06-18-2006, 08:48 AM
Pat McEnroe, the 2-faced beneficiary of his brother's success,
is an expert of cheating in a Davis Cup match. The arse wimp enjoys eating Federer crap.

heya's law.

tall_one
06-18-2006, 06:43 PM
the bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave mtf. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear.

Black Adam
06-18-2006, 06:46 PM
Everyone on GM is a tard, the real fans are in the player forums;)

Merton
06-18-2006, 09:18 PM
We need to quantify these laws a bit, so i will give it a shot:

The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success.

Johnny Groove
06-18-2006, 10:22 PM
We need to quantify these laws a bit, so i will give it a shot:

The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success.

Law #27

the bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave mtf. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear.

Tall One's Law, #28

atheneglaukopis
06-18-2006, 11:08 PM
The only players with talent are :worship: Santoro, :hearts: Safin, and maybe :confused: Federer. Everyone else is a hack. (Law of Nadal)

AgassiDomination
07-05-2006, 05:30 PM
Everytime ESPN shows tennis for a tournament, a thread is created to revel in how pathetic the broadcasts are because MTF's constituents have a tough time in being grateful for what they get. AD's law. :p

Johnny Groove
07-05-2006, 05:32 PM
Everytime ESPN shows tennis for a tournament, a thread is created to revel in how pathetic the broadcasts are because MTF's constituents have a tough time in being grateful for what they get. AD's law. :p

You know thats law 10, right?

"Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke and the commentators are all tools"

Kristen
07-05-2006, 05:35 PM
the bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave mtf. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear. :awww: This is true. I still think of Conan the Librarian from time to time. :sobbing:

AgassiDomination
07-05-2006, 05:36 PM
You know thats law 10, right?

"Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke and the commentators are all tools"
Aw fuck.

Kristen
07-05-2006, 05:41 PM
Aw fuck.Maybe yours could be an addendum. I mean, USA is not equivalent to 'the world'. So maybe 10.1 could be AD's law? :)

Langers
07-05-2006, 05:42 PM
10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.
Brilliant post. :worship:

This one is my favourite, hear it so often. :lol:

AgassiDomination
07-05-2006, 05:44 PM
How about, "Being a regular poster in NT means you know nothing absolutely nothing about tennis." Natas' law?

uNIVERSE mAN
07-05-2006, 05:46 PM
you missed Everyone on MTF is a 5.0+ player

vogus
07-05-2006, 06:01 PM
After looking through MTF since the beginning of the year, i've noticed some trends. Feel free to criticize, flame, and degrade the theories :yeah:

1. Making sense is optional

2. The probably of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

3. Speculation can be treated as fact, as can fact be considered speculation

4. Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt (Deb's Law)

5. Supporting :silly: PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice

8. Choke=Lose

9. Everyone loves BYE

10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults. Also, threads based on a quote from an idiot tennis figure head MUST be flamed to no end.

15. EVERYTHING gets blown out of proportion

16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)

17. Horrible spelling, grammar misuse, and other butcherings of the English language are mandatory

18. Double standards, stereotypes, and generalizations are a must.

19. Signatures must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Quotes from random movies, TV shows, or other posters are a plus. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

20. MTF is a perpetual cyclone of the exact same ideas and thoughts and can be discussed ad nauseum and yet no one gets bored or leaves

21. Infamous posters change their usernames as often Puff Daddy does his, if not more so

22. Tennis is rigged. It's even more fake than professional wrestling.(GeorgeWHitler's law).

23. Useless threads, random stupdity, and smily overuse is mandatory

24. Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance; each of these will elicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches

25. Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves. (Joe's Law)

26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures.

27. The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success. Also, if a relatively low-ranked and little known player upsets [insert top-ranked player here], that player's bandwagon fills with haters of [insert top-ranked player here]

28. The bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave MTF. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear. (Tall One's Law)


Did I miss any?



you could condense it into a single law: MTF is a cesspool of stupidity filled with people of average and below-average intelligence.

R.Federer
07-05-2006, 06:05 PM
If someone disagrees with you and you don't have a smart repartee, then add the emoticon :retard: or something similar; it is supposed to help you feel smarter momentarily and supposed to inflict terrible feelings of shame on the original poster. As an added bonus, it will distract from the previous poster's comment and you will feel victorious!

Langers
07-05-2006, 06:12 PM
If someone disagrees with you and you don't have a smart repartee, then add the emoticon :retard: or something similar; it is supposed to help you feel smarter momentarily and supposed to inflict terrible feelings of shame on the original poster. As an added bonus, it will distract from the previous poster's comment and you will feel victorious!
:retard:

R.Federer
07-05-2006, 06:14 PM
:retard:
:hiding face in shame:

Langers
07-05-2006, 06:16 PM
:hiding face in shame:
Victory is mine. :lol: :p

R.Federer
07-05-2006, 07:00 PM
Victory is mine. :lol: :p That must mean you didn't have a smart repartee to begin with ;)

Hey- why isn't this being added on as a law? Maybe I'll start another set of laws

Bagelicious
07-05-2006, 07:03 PM
That must mean you didn't have a smart repartee to begin with ;)

Hey- why isn't this being added on as a law? Maybe I'll start another set of laws


Law 29: Plagiarise another person's thread as a joke/to prove a point and have multiple threads on the same topic. (Remember the plethora of 'juice' threads?)

Johnny Groove
07-05-2006, 07:03 PM
That must mean you didn't have a smart repartee to begin with ;)

Hey- why isn't this being added on as a law? Maybe I'll start another set of laws

Law 14 edited: "If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults. Also, threads based on a quote from an idiot tennis figure head MUST be flamed to no end. Also, going off on off-topic tangents, namecalling, and use of the :retard: smily are good ways of winning arguments."

Johnny Groove
07-05-2006, 07:05 PM
Law 29: Plagiarise another person's thread as a joke/to prove a point and have multiple threads on the same topic. (Remember the plethora of 'juice' threads?)

Law 20, the cyclone of the same thoughts and ideas law. or is it 21? :scratch:

Also, I kept these laws vague and generalized so I didnt have to edit them everytime something new happened :yeah:

R.Federer
07-05-2006, 07:21 PM
Law 29: Plagiarise another person's thread as a joke/to prove a point and have multiple threads on the same topic. (Remember the plethora of 'juice' threads?)
Yeah.... or hijack it by introducing a passing thought on an entirely unrelated matter.
Hey, do you remember when Andre lost to rafter in the sf of Wimbledon and dissed the lineswoman in the post match interview? Any thoughts on that?

Johnny Groove
07-05-2006, 07:23 PM
Yeah.... or hijack it by introducing a passing thought on an entirely unrelated matter.
Hey, do you remember when Andre lost to rafter in the sf of Wimbledon and dissed the lineswoman in the post match interview? Any thoughts on that?

she was a bitch anyway and she looked like a man :p

Allure
07-05-2006, 07:28 PM
Don't know if this is a law yet but:

Fans of a certain player has to post quotes of celebs/commentators praising that player. They also post quotes by celebs/commentators dissing a player they hate.

Example:

"Tiger Woods says Federer is a gentle genious." posted by a Roger fan.

"Sampras says Nadal is no competition for Federer." by Roger fan.

Warrior
08-02-2006, 03:33 AM
13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa





:haha:

MarieS
08-02-2006, 03:44 AM
long time lurker and this thread is spot on. :haha:
it's important to know how to laugh at oneself, no?

celcius
08-02-2006, 04:05 PM
these rules rock

ChinoRios4Ever
08-02-2006, 05:56 PM
i love this thread :haha:

but this rock:
5. Supporting PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

:haha: :haha: :haha:

this deserves a threat the top 10 chokers, PHM is the federer of this

vincayou
08-02-2006, 08:40 PM
start a poll about who is the best player of all time every 2 weeks.

*Viva Chile*
08-02-2006, 11:15 PM
Law 30: Never bash/complain against a chilean player, MTF poster or another chilean person, because there always will be another chilean(s) who will defend it to death. :boxing:

ChinoRios4Ever
08-03-2006, 01:33 AM
Law 30: Never bash/complain against a chilean player, MTF poster or another chilean person, because there always will be another chilean(s) who will defend it to death. :boxing:

VIVA CHILE MIERDA

drf716
08-03-2006, 10:07 AM
everybody loves marat!

Action Jackson
08-06-2006, 07:08 AM
Shouldn't there be a law for people in here that automatically any draw that comes out is either fixed or against their favourite player.

PahelWaske
08-06-2006, 07:22 AM
Shouldn't there be a law for people in here that automatically any draw that comes out is either fixed or against their favourite player.


:lol: :lol:

Johnny Groove
08-07-2006, 02:43 AM
Shouldn't there be a law for people in here that automatically any draw that comes out is either fixed or against their favourite player.

falls under the -tard law: # 26

Action Jackson
08-10-2006, 08:31 AM
falls under the -tard law: # 26

You sure about that?

tangerine_dream
08-10-2006, 02:42 PM
Don't know if this is a law yet but:

Fans of a certain player has to post quotes of celebs/commentators praising that player. They also post quotes by celebs/commentators dissing a player they hate.

Example:

"Tiger Woods says Federer is a gentle genious." posted by a Roger fan.

"Sampras says Nadal is no competition for Federer." by Roger fan.
:lol: This is true. I also love how some of the Federer fans make a huge deal out of Roger's supposedly "tough" draws while whining about Rafa's supposed "cakewalks."

Johnny Groove
08-10-2006, 03:22 PM
You sure about that?

Upon furthur review, Law #29 has been added :yeah:

29. Whining and complaining are mandatory. Whenever a draw comes out, It is obviously fixed against Player A, while Player B has a cakewalk. Probably done by under-the-table deals and knife to throat backroom bargains. Also, complaining about the surface of a tournamnet months in advance and saying THAT is also fixed falls under this category. As are the conspiracies of that it is a clown era and whoever plays in this era cant possibly be considered anything close to the GOAT.

Apemant
08-10-2006, 03:28 PM
:lol: This is true. I also love how some of the Federer fans make a huge deal out of Roger's supposedly "tough" draws while whining about Rafa's supposed "cakewalks."

It is just as funny as people who point out these kind of things but still mock Ljubo's "cakewalk" draw. http://img2.menstennisforums.com/500/bicedobro.gif

*Viva Chile*
08-10-2006, 06:50 PM
#30 : Everytime when Rafa is been benificied for a good draw, type of surface, good calls from the umpires, etc, etc... is because Uncle Toni is using his magic wand again. :lol:

R.Federer
08-10-2006, 07:01 PM
Haven't seen this one:

Add the name of a player you don't really care about, or even dislike, to your signature. It then gives you immunity from saying bad things about him, you know, because you're "a fan" and are being objective. Clever, but really quite transparent :lol:

There are at least 10 such posters frequenting this board (you know who you are)

Naranoc
08-10-2006, 07:53 PM
Or how about:

Anyone who defeats Federer immediately becomes a candidate for the G.O.A.T.

Hawkman
08-10-2006, 08:53 PM
1. Call a user stupid or ignorant when disagreeing with thier post and then moan and cry when said user tells you you're an idiot and To piss off. Then turn around and accuse user of being a A-Hole and looking for trouble.

2. When questioning whether or not Federer is the greatest of all, be branded as a hate monger.

scoobs
08-10-2006, 08:57 PM
1. Call a user stupid or ignorant when disagreeing with thier post and then moan and cry when said user tells you you're an idiot and To piss off. Then turn around and accuse user of being a A-Hole and looking for trouble.

2. When questioning whether or not Federer is the greatest of all, be branded as a hate monger.

You do realise that, as we're on page 11 now, it's unlikely those laws will be #1 and #2?

:)

Hawkman
08-10-2006, 09:49 PM
Yes I did. I did in no way mistake Rule # 1 and Rule # 2 for those ones. Those were merely my 1's and 2's.

:cool:

Does this make the other rules without numbers rules or are they invisible ?

scoobs
08-10-2006, 09:55 PM
Ahh Blaze is the keeper of the laws :)

Johnny Groove
08-10-2006, 10:01 PM
Ahh Blaze is the keeper of the laws :)

Indeed I am. Hawkman, your queries fall under Law #14

Hawkman
08-10-2006, 11:07 PM
LOL ! Great laws.

Action Jackson
08-19-2006, 05:42 AM
These laws are great.

I love the domination one. Domination is boring unless your fave player is the dominator. As soon as Fed or Nadal lose then it's all good in the tennis world, yet before there was domination, most of these same people were complaining about all the different winners.

rmb6687
08-19-2006, 06:45 AM
5. Supporting PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

same goes for safin, honestly.


6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

hahaha thats pretty close to true. i found it amusing that half the sigs list safin as one...if not the only one...of their favorites. And i'm pretty sure there are ppl who can't stand the very idea of either Rafa or Fed.


Anyway...awesome thread a frightening in its correctness.

drf716
08-22-2006, 02:01 AM
is this the most populated english-language tennis forum?

Carito_90
08-22-2006, 02:25 AM
:haha: I love you. :lol:

Hawkman
08-22-2006, 02:29 AM
is this the most populated english-language tennis forum?

I am not sure about that. But it is the most populated English Grammar Police forum.

Action Jackson
09-08-2006, 07:26 AM
Great to see Law 18 in full usage.

18. Double standards, stereotypes, and generalizations are a must.

This means that whenever some crowd is a bit rowdy, the justification that someone else is worse to make themselves look better is still apparent.

supersexynadal
09-08-2006, 10:33 PM
Love the PHM one!!

marifline
09-09-2006, 01:07 AM
" every year for the French Open people have to complain about the french crowd, wich every year proves itself to be the most disrespectful and chauvinisic " or something like that...something about the french crowd, it deserves it

Bagelicious
09-09-2006, 03:10 AM
The troll law (aka kajonie's law): Every GrandSlam, we shall be plagued and infested by trolls who make ridiculous tennis assertions and start silly arguments based on the flimsiest excuse. After making 28 threads and 107 posts in 3 days, they are finally banned/ridiculed into submission.

Naranoc
09-09-2006, 08:13 AM
13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla,:banana: = Rafa killa

This HAS to be the best one ;). Donald Young has a 0-10 record on the ATP...

~*BGT*~
09-09-2006, 02:59 PM
Add

"Ljubicic and Nalbandian fans will always think the other player shouldn't be in the top 10, when in reality, neither should be." :)

~*BGT*~
09-17-2006, 03:34 AM
HAHA, another one:

"If you're Croatian, you hate Roddick. If you're American, you hate Ljubicic. But everyone likes Blake and Ancic."

RickDaStick
09-17-2006, 03:36 AM
LAW # 9 :rocker2:

RickDaStick
09-17-2006, 03:37 AM
HAHA, another one:

"If you're Croatian, you hate Roddick. If you're American, you hate Ljubicic. But everyone likes Blake and Ancic."

Blake sucks more then Roddick and so does Ancic...

only winner in that group is Ljubicic....who in the last 4 matches vs Blake is 4-0 and 2-0 vs Roddick :wavey:

Jlee
09-17-2006, 03:38 AM
Blake sucks more then Roddick and so does Ancic...

only winner in that group is Ljubicic....who in the last 4 matches vs Blake is 4-0 and 2-0 vs Roddick :wavey:

H2H means nothing if you don't have a slam :wavey:

Sorry, I'm in a combative mood tonight :lol:

atheneglaukopis
09-17-2006, 03:39 AM
13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killaFifth set = Blake Killa.

GlennMirnyi
09-17-2006, 03:48 AM
also, you forgot all the "wHO Is THE hOoOoOoOtTeeeesSsT!????one??!!" threads.


the ones that never include Carlos Moya. :(

With that gate between his teeth, what do you expect?

GlennMirnyi
09-17-2006, 04:06 AM
Another law: If you like player A and he's not Federer or Nadal, whenever you say something against one of those two, your player will be thrown in the middle of the conversation, without any motives, bashed and criticized in an attempt to offend player A 's fan.

~*BGT*~
09-17-2006, 04:17 AM
Blake sucks more then Roddick and so does Ancic...

only winner in that group is Ljubicic....who in the last 4 matches vs Blake is 4-0 and 2-0 vs Roddick :wavey:
Roddick vs. Ljubibitch 5-3 with 1 retirement by Roddick and 1 when Andy was injured
:wavey:

LaTenista
09-17-2006, 05:56 AM
Fifth set = Blake Killa.

And also Berdych = Fifth set Killa.

liptea
09-17-2006, 07:41 AM
With that gate between his teeth, what do you expect?

:sad:

He was still named one of the 25 most beautiful people in the world. A couple millimeters in his mouth are probably the least of his concerns.

RickDaStick
09-17-2006, 02:08 PM
Roddick vs. Ljubibitch 5-3 with 1 retirement by Roddick and 1 when Andy was injured
:wavey:

:yawn: all that matters in the DC tie and AMS SF :wavey:

~*BGT*~
09-17-2006, 02:11 PM
:yawn: all that matters is the DC tie and AMS SF :wavey:
The DC win was a clear win. But the injury win was that AMS SF. If you remember he had to pull out of Shanghai after that. A lower back strain I believe. So that's actually 5-1 Roddick. :p

RickDaStick
09-17-2006, 02:16 PM
The DC win was a clear win. But the injury win was that AMS SF. If you remember he had to pull out of Shanghai after that. A lower back strain I believe. So that's actually 5-1 Roddick. :p

Like i said..only 1 really counted...and Ivan killed him in the 5th set..after calling a trainer..Ivan had a knee injury..:wavey:

Action Jackson
09-17-2006, 02:18 PM
"If you are a Safin fan, then self pity is fine, as Marat is the only player who has ever suffered injuries for an extended period of time". Of course this means fans of other players who have had it worse are insignificant, cause they aren't as charismatic.

Johnny Groove
09-17-2006, 02:20 PM
Law 18 George. I tried not to get too specific with the laws, so they could be effective all over the place.

~*BGT*~
09-17-2006, 02:20 PM
Like i said..only 1 really counted...and Ivan killed him in the 5th set..after calling a trainer..Ivan had a knee injury..:wavey:
gamesmanship

RickDaStick
09-17-2006, 02:23 PM
gamesmanship
:rolleyes: no..its called getting a beating from a guy on 1 leg :wavey:

~*BGT*~
09-17-2006, 02:32 PM
:rolleyes: no..its called getting a beating from a guy on 1 leg :wavey:
It's also called a joke. And that's also why I called it his only legitimite win over Andy.

Kalliopeia
09-17-2006, 03:01 PM
also, you forgot all the "wHO Is THE hOoOoOoOtTeeeesSsT!????one??!!" threads.


the ones that never include Carlos Moya. :(

That's only because he's so hot that everyone blacks out when they consider how hot he is, and thus can't stay concious long enough to add his name.

In fact, I...think I feel a little woozy...

atheneglaukopis
09-17-2006, 04:41 PM
"If you are a Safin fan, then self pity is fine, as Marat is the only player who has ever suffered injuries for an extended period of time". Of course this means fans of other players who have had it worse are insignificant, cause they aren't as charismatic.In my defense, I was joking, deliberately going over the top as seen by my use of all caps and the word y'all's.

Johnny Groove
09-27-2006, 01:13 AM
Ok, time for a few bumps :p

Amendments to law 8, Choke=Lose has been flipped to Lose=Choke.

and addendum to 15 as well, with the recent OUT LOUD bullshit :o

15. EVERYTHING gets blown out of proportion. An example is whenever a player gives an interview or says some little Mickey Mouse controversial comment, expect someone to say something about speaking OUT LOUD. :rolleyes:

Johnny Groove
09-27-2006, 01:38 AM
And also Berdych = Fifth set Killa.

addended

Another law: If you like player A and he's not Federer or Nadal, whenever you say something against one of those two, your player will be thrown in the middle of the conversation, without any motives, bashed and criticized in an attempt to offend player A 's fan.

Law 14

Fifth set = Blake Killa.

addended

also, you forgot all the "wHO Is THE hOoOoOoOtTeeeesSsT!????one??!!" threads.


the ones that never include Carlos Moya. :(

Law 12 has an added clause, and the sex obsession Law (30) has been added

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic. Also, most topics turn to slash and/or sex after the unimportant things have been discussed. I.E. tennis.

30. There are a whole horde of separate threads discussing such earth-shattering topic as who's dick is the biggest, who has the best ass, best bulge, or who is the hooooooooteeetesssstttt! threads.

The troll law (aka kajonie's law): Every GrandSlam, we shall be plagued and infested by trolls who make ridiculous tennis assertions and start silly arguments based on the flimsiest excuse. After making 28 threads and 107 posts in 3 days, they are finally banned/ridiculed into submission.

Law 14, and Law 1 combo.

These laws are great.

I love the domination one. Domination is boring unless your fave player is the dominator. As soon as Fed or Nadal lose then it's all good in the tennis world, yet before there was domination, most of these same people were complaining about all the different winners.

18 again man. Damn, you love that law ;)

#30 : Everytime when Rafa is been benificied for a good draw, type of surface, good calls from the umpires, etc, etc... is because Uncle Toni is using his magic wand again. :lol:

I'll add the Uncle Toni clause to Law 26 :lol:

26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures. And, anytime that anyone (but 99% of the time, Nadal) has been given any type of luck, Uncle Toni is behind it all with his magic wand of good fortune

savesthedizzle
09-27-2006, 01:40 AM
26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures. And, anytime that anyone (but 99% of the time, Nadal) has been given any type of luck, Uncle Toni is behind it all with his magic wand of good fortune


Under that definition, is the only Djokotard ezekiel? :scratch:

Johnny Groove
09-27-2006, 01:56 AM
Under that definition, is the only Djokotard ezekiel? :scratch:

lets not get technical :p :kiss:

Pfloyd
09-27-2006, 02:19 AM
How is number 30 a law?

Johnny Groove
09-27-2006, 02:20 AM
How is number 30 a law?

Law 30 edited

Pfloyd
09-27-2006, 02:23 AM
Alright, now it makes sense.

Johnny Groove
09-27-2006, 09:57 PM
at the request of GWH, and with RFK's recent shit, Law 31 has been added

31. In order for one to be recognized as a troll, at least 50% one's posts must be considered some form of funny. The other 50 can be a combination of brown-nosing, bullshitting, posting pure crap, starting (or attempting to start) flamewars, or basically some other stupid act.

Naranoc
09-27-2006, 11:58 PM
Is there anything similar to this:

Use of syllogism to predict the outcome of matches is a must, even if common sense and h2h records argue against it. For example, Youzhny defeated Nadal, Nadal defeated Federer therefore Youzhny can defeat Federer.

Lame, I know :rolleyes:

:D

Rafa = Fed Killa
09-28-2006, 01:45 AM
at the request of GWH, and with RFK's recent shit, Law 31 has been added

A law inspired by me.

I am so honoured.

Clueless idiots who can only marvel at my superior logic.

Bagelicious
09-28-2006, 10:45 PM
I'm determined to have a Law all to myself! To that end:

Any thread on MTF over 5 pages long degenerates into a Rafatard vs. Fedtard bashing/masturbation thread (since they all seem to get off on bashing each other over and over again).

vincayou
09-29-2006, 06:50 AM
What about the rule :

"if there is a crowd problem somewhere, don't forget to mention that the French crowd is worse"

or

"if there is a crowd problem during a match, some people of MTF will be outraged (but will add that French crowd is worse), other (from the country where it happened) will insult them in return (and will add that the French crowd is worse), some will say it's great (even if some feel outraged when it's in RG where the French crowd is worse)."

vincayou
09-29-2006, 06:55 AM
I have another :

Don't be afraid to appear schizophrenic. If player1 beats player2, post something like
player1 :woohoo:
player2 :sad:

vincayou
09-29-2006, 07:01 AM
If you want to start a successfull arse clown career on MTF, don't start one but five inflammatory threads in a row.

Saumon
09-29-2006, 10:12 AM
What about the rule :

"if there is a crowd problem somewhere, don't forget to mention that the French crowd is worse"

or

"if there is a crowd problem during a match, some people of MTF will be outraged (but will add that French crowd is worse), other (from the country where it happened) will insult them in return (and will add that the French crowd is worse), some will say it's great (even if some feel outraged when it's in RG where the French crowd is worse)."
:o don't you know that the French crowd is really the worst?:rolleyes: ;)

Saumon
09-29-2006, 10:12 AM
I have another :

Don't be afraid to appear schizophrenic. If player1 beats player2, post something like
player1 :woohoo:
player2 :sad:
:spit: :haha:

vincayou
09-29-2006, 12:20 PM
:o don't you know that the French crowd is really the worst?:rolleyes: ;)

It's probably true! :)

Saumon
09-29-2006, 05:22 PM
It's probably true! :)

nah, they're just jealous because we're the best crowd ;)

LaTenista
09-29-2006, 11:55 PM
There should be one about any thread concerning Argentine players turning into a discussion about doping. :rolleyes:

Johnny Groove
09-29-2006, 11:57 PM
I'm determined to have a Law all to myself! To that end:

Mandoura's Law

Johnny Groove
09-29-2006, 11:59 PM
all mentioned law amendments have been covered, but in less detail. The MTF Constitution lives on :rocker2:

hitchhiker
10-12-2006, 03:08 PM
MTF law #276

losing to best server in the world on a indoor court in Stockholm = career over

GlennMirnyi
10-12-2006, 03:10 PM
MTF law #276

losing to best server in the world on a indoor court in Stockholm = career over

Best semi-retired server in the world?

hitchhiker
10-12-2006, 03:13 PM
Best semi-retired server in the world?

MTF law #279

Injury at 23 = semi retirement

MarieS
10-12-2006, 03:16 PM
MTF law #276

losing to best server in the world on a indoor court in Stockholm = career over

MTF law #279

Injury at 23 = semi retirement

:haha:

GlennMirnyi
10-12-2006, 03:20 PM
Not playing for a year and a half = semi-retirement.

Nathaliia
10-12-2006, 04:00 PM
do you have about

when a mass favourite loses to a lower ranked player, it's because russian or italian mafia fixed it

? :)

User id 7816
10-12-2006, 04:14 PM
Am I missing a major law here, unless its somewhere else and not on page 1??.....when a player beats another player that a poster dislikes, the poster automatically becomes fond of the first player, EVEN if they didn't care/know/or even like him much before that. Quite funny to observe especially if it's the last part, cause you can see the different levels of hating. Now you can put that one with funny words. ;)

Cervantes
10-12-2006, 06:41 PM
"if there is a crowd problem somewhere, don't forget to mention that the French crowd is worse"

classic :yeah:

There should be one about any thread concerning Argentine players turning into a discussion about doping. :rolleyes:

even better :haha:

GlennMirnyi
10-12-2006, 06:56 PM
do you have about

when a mass favourite loses to a lower ranked player, it's because russian or italian mafia fixed it

? :)

In fact it should be: _________ mafia (insert mafia nationality here).

Johnny Groove
10-21-2006, 11:41 PM
ok, wow. In the last few days, not a single law has been broken :rolleyes:

1. Making sense is optional

No comment needed :p

2. The probably of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

Which thread was it where it became about Rofa because we complained that it was the only thing the thread didnt have? :lol:

3. Speculation can be treated as fact, as can fact be considered speculation

What did Berdy's sign mean? Is Robby really a :rocker2: My friend said the crowd sucked, they are obviously the worst in the world.

4. Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt (Deb's Law)

Ljubo was sick, riiiiight :rolleyes: (amazingly, when Pimmy pulled out, not one bad thing was said. I guess its because he doesnt have a 6-2 record against Federer)

5. Supporting PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

lost to JMDP indoors in the qualies

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

:worship:

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice

Im sure i heard steroids about Nadal or something about Nalby being a fat, argie doper with the henman match

8. Lose=Choke

Again, no comment needed :p

9. Everyone loves BYE

BYE made an appearance in Madrid, but no one really noticed :awww:

10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.

TTC apparently had coverage, but TTC and the availability of it (or lack thereof) is a joke in and of itself :o

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

Actually havent heard this one :yeah:

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic. Also, most topics turn to slash and/or sex after the unimportant things have been discussed. I.E. tennis.

O God, EVERY thread did this this week :lol:

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, = Rafa killa, 5th set= Blake Killa, and Berdych= 5th set killa

I need to addend (sadly) that Berych=Rafakilla

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults. Also, threads based on a quote from an idiot tennis figure head MUST be flamed to no end. Also, going off on off-topic tangents, namecalling, and use of the smily are good ways of showing that you have run out of bullshit to spew, and have lost the argument.

:worship:

15. EVERYTHING gets blown out of proportion. An example is whenever a player gives an interview or says some little Mickey Mouse controversial comment, expect someone to say something about speaking OUT LOUD.

again, :worship:

16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)

Cant lose an argument if you're not in one, 0/0 this week :wavey:

17. Horrible spelling, grammar misuse, and other butcherings of the English language are mandatory. Also, expect to be corrected for every single misspeeling

YEEEES

18. Double standards, stereotypes, and generalizations are a must.

YEEEEES

19. Signatures must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Quotes from random movies, TV shows, or other posters are a plus. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

all over the place

20. MTF is a perpetual cyclone of the exact same ideas and thoughts and can be discussed ad nauseum and yet no one gets bored or leaves

Nalby is fat, Fed is God, and Rafa and Roddick suck

21. Infamous posters change their usernames as often Puff Daddy does his, if not more so

George Costanza :rocker2:

22. Tennis is rigged. It's even more fake than professional wrestling.(GeorgeWHitler's law)

I know!!! How much did they pay off Nalby to tank his semi?

23. Useless threads, random stupdity, and smily overuse is mandatory

So True

24. Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance; each of these will elicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches

weve got a few multi-hundred post threads this week

25. Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves. (Joe's Law)

actually didnt see this this week to be honest :scratch:

26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures. And, anytime that anyone (but 99% of the time, Nadal) has been given any type of luck, Uncle Toni is behind it all with his magic wand.

The tards were out in full force this week

27. The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success. Also, if a relatively low-ranked and little known player upsets [insert top-ranked player here], that player's bandwagon fills with haters of [insert top-ranked player here]

Berdych got tons of fans this week, and if Fena wins tomorrow, (unlikely) he will get tons as well

28. The bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave MTF. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear. (Tall One's Law)

Cant wait for the AO :p

29. Whining and complaining are mandatory. Whenever a draw comes out, It is obviously fixed against Player A, while Player B has a cakewalk. Probably done by under-the-table deals and knife to throat backroom bargains. Also, complaining about the surface of a tournamnet months in advance and saying THAT is also fixed falls under this category. As are the conspiracies of that it is a clown era and whoever plays in this era cant possibly be considered anything close to the GOAT.

YEEEEESS

30. This forum is not a REAL mens tennis forum without a whole horde of separate threads discussing such earth-shattering topic as who's dick is the biggest, who has the best ass, best bulge, or who is the hooooooooteeetesssstttt! threads.

those threads are still going strong in NT :rocker2:

31. In order for one to be recognized as a troll, at least 50% one's posts must be considered some form of funny. The other 50 can be a combination of brown-nosing, bullshitting, posting pure crap, starting (or attempting to start) flamewars, or basically some other stupid act

RFK, no matter how hard he tries, is not a troll

Metis
10-22-2006, 12:18 AM
ok, wow. In the last few days, not a single law has been broken :rolleyes:
13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, = Rafa killa, 5th set= Blake Killa, and Berdych= 5th set killa

I need to addend (sadly) that Berych=Rafakilla

How about Vliegen=Blake killa? :lol:

Fee
10-22-2006, 12:29 AM
Okay, who is George Costanza? Haven't seen a post by that username that I can recall. Spill please.

*Viva Chile*
10-22-2006, 12:46 AM
How about Vliegen=Blake killa? :lol:

and Gonzo=Berdych Killa :p

*Viva Chile*
10-22-2006, 12:47 AM
Okay, who is George Costanza? Haven't seen a post by that username that I can recall. Spill please.

George Costanza AKA RDucky AKA Jerry Seinfeld AKA Albert Pujols AKA ......... :wavey:

Johnny Groove
10-22-2006, 12:56 AM
George Costanza AKA RDucky AKA Jerry Seinfeld AKA Albert Pujols AKA ......... :wavey:

AKA.....Mike Jones :p

Fee
10-22-2006, 01:43 AM
oh d'uhhh.

Why does Just Cause start so many threads? And why do the titles all end with a '?!'

atheneglaukopis
10-22-2006, 01:45 AM
oh d'uhhh.

Why does Just Cause start so many threads? And why do the titles all end with a '?!'Law #23, among others.

WF4EVER
10-22-2006, 03:23 AM
oh d'uhhh.

Why does Just Cause start so many threads? And why do the titles all end with a '?!'

It's because of that poster that I came to ask if there's no law against a person starting so many threads in one day.

Geez! And the subjects can be totally :retard: :retard: :retard:

There oughta be a law......

*Viva Chile*
10-22-2006, 04:29 AM
AKA.....Mike Jones :p

of course :lol:
How forget it!!! :p

*M*
10-22-2006, 04:52 AM
How about:

Every player blog thread must contain at least one post stating to the effect that it's not as a) good, b) funny, or c) interesting as Dmitry's blog.

Also, in keeping with Law #17, can you please correct Law #2? The word is probability, not probably. Thanks! :wavey:

El Legenda
10-22-2006, 04:56 AM
Okay...its time to prove #16 right...who wants a piece of me.

El Legenda
10-22-2006, 04:58 AM
George Costanza AKA RDucky AKA Jerry Seinfeld AKA Albert Pujols AKA ......... :wavey:

:lol: maybe a new LAW....the I change my name every 3 months :p

tangerine_dream
10-22-2006, 04:58 AM
5. Supporting PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)
I'm surprised Safin isn't part of this particular law. The hippo fans are always dying a thousand deaths when he plays. :lol:

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice
This law is funny because most everybody on tour is accused of being on the juice except the one skinny guy who's winning everything. ;)

10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.
Lousy tennis coverage is universal, according to the Eurosport Moan thread. :) And the first one to bitch about ESPN tennis coverage is almost always some crazy Federer fan who's pissed that a more popular player (like Sharapova) gets primetime coverage during the dreadfully boring first week of slam coverage and not Federer.

16. Jerry Seinfeld and Chloe never lose an argument (Jerry's Law)
How many times have I pwned Jerry? This "law" is a lemon law. Toss it.

19. Signatures must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Quotes from random movies, TV shows, or other posters are a plus. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.
You forgot to add: giant blend images of favorite player(s) that require you to scroll down for several seconds before you can read the next post.

Berdych got tons of fans this week, and if Fena wins tomorrow, (unlikely) he will get tons as well
Beat Roger or Rafa: a new legend is born! Massive fanbases instantly created, just add haterade.

RFK, no matter how hard he tries, is not a troll
He used to be better but has lost some of his bite.

Johnny Groove
10-25-2006, 10:30 PM
After watching Deb tear JS's argument to shreds, and in light of research of past Tangy vs. Ducky arguments, MTF Law 16 has been scrapped :wavey:


(16. Former Law of Ducky having never lost an argument, addended and scrapped 10/25/06)

In order to continuity with #'s of the after #'d laws, Ive done the above. If anyone has a better suggestion, Im open to hear it. :wavey:

tangerine_dream
10-26-2006, 01:35 AM
After watching Deb tear JS's argument to shreds, and in light of research of past Tangy vs. Ducky arguments, MTF Law 16 has been scrapped :wavey:


(16. Former Law of Ducky having never lost an argument, addended and scrapped 10/25/06)

In order to continuity with #'s of the after #'d laws, Ive done the above. If anyone has a better suggestion, Im open to hear it. :wavey:
A wise decision, Mr Law Keeper. :worship:

its.like.that
10-26-2006, 01:42 AM
nice post tangy

nice avatar too ;)

El Legenda
10-26-2006, 02:19 AM
16 is still a rule....kind of easy for Deb to shred her own assumptions :wavey:

Roger The Great
10-26-2006, 02:29 AM
I had never read this post before. Where was I??

In any case, some genuine comedy in this. Well done. :worship:

atheneglaukopis
11-12-2006, 01:56 AM
Addendum to Rule 13: Only Safin beats Safin.

Proof: He had a tough time coming back, and his movement and fitness haven't been the same since, etc., but was he ever actually genuinely outplayed by his better opponent?

INCONCEIVABLE!

The MTF verdict is that Safin should have won every single match he played this year.

aussie_fan
11-12-2006, 02:04 AM
Just read them for the first time, lol. Love no.8 Lose= Choke.

Johnny Groove
11-12-2006, 02:04 AM
Addendum to Rule 13: Only Safin beats Safin.

Proof: He had a tough time coming back, and his movement and fitness haven't been the same since, etc., but was he ever actually genuinely outplayed by his better opponent?

INCONCEIVABLE!

The MTF verdict is that Safin should have won every single match he played this year.

addended so that Safin= Safin killa :p

Katastrophe
11-12-2006, 03:14 AM
addended so that Safin= Safin killa :p

So sad and so true all at the same time. :p

rofe
11-12-2006, 03:31 AM
addended so that Safin= Safin killa :p

A profound statement. :worship:

Saumon
12-12-2006, 03:25 PM
Addendum to rule number 6: Everyone loves Tursunov because of his blog. :)

Johnny Groove
12-12-2006, 11:29 PM
^^^^^

Addendum to Law 27 :p

27. The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success. Also, if a relatively low-ranked and little known player upsets [insert top-ranked player here], that player's bandwagon fills with haters of [insert top-ranked player here]. And, the number of fans a player has can also explode with the quality of his blog.

amierin
12-12-2006, 11:37 PM
After looking through MTF since the beginning of the year, i've noticed some trends. Feel free to criticize, flame, and degrade the theories :yeah:

1. Making sense is optional

2. The probability of a thread on MTF becoming about Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or both approaches 1 with respect to time (Mandoura’s Law)

3. Speculation can be treated as fact, as can fact be considered speculation

4. Injuries are always faked, especially if the sufferer is Roddick or Hewitt (Deb's Law)

5. Supporting :silly: PHM can cause serious damages to your health (Julie's Law)

6. Everyone loves Safin. There are 2 groups of people, Rafa fans and Fed fans, and they don’t like each other too much. And everyone hates (or, at least dislikes) Roddick (Jenanun's Law)

7. (Insert noun here) is on the juice

8. Lose=Choke

9. Everyone loves BYE

10. Tennis coverage in the USA is a joke, and the commentators are all tools.

11. You do not talk about the WTA in a positive light

12. Just because a thread begins as “A” topic, doesn’t mean it cant translate to “B”, “C”, and “D” topic. Also, most topics turn to slash and/or sex after the unimportant things have been discussed. I.E. tennis.

13. Safin= Top 10 killa, Safin= Safin Killa, Whole ATP Tour= Donald Young Killa, Fed= Whole ATP killa, Rafa= Fedkilla, :banana:= Rafa killa, 5th set= Blake Killa, Berdych= 5th set killa, and Berdych=Rafakilla

14. If you make a post, expect to be criticized, flamed, and degraded by someone else by use of personal insults. Also, threads based on a quote from an idiot tennis figure head MUST be flamed to no end. Also, going off on off-topic tangents, namecalling, and use of the :retard: smily are good ways of showing that you have run out of bullshit to spew, and have lost the argument.

15. EVERYTHING gets blown out of proportion. An example is whenever a player gives an interview or says some little Mickey Mouse controversial comment, expect someone to say something about speaking OUT LOUD. :rolleyes:

(16. Former Law of Ducky having never lost an argument, addended and scrapped 10/25/06)

17. Horrible spelling, grammar misuse, and other butcherings of the English language are mandatory. Also, expect to be corrected for every single misspeeling ;)

18. Double standards, stereotypes, and generalizations are a must.

19. Signatures must contain either a quirky tid bit of wisdom or a laundry list of the players you support. Quotes from random movies, TV shows, or other posters are a plus. Of course 10,000 smilies are firmly required, as is a cheap shot to one or more posters.

20. MTF is a perpetual cyclone of the exact same ideas and thoughts and can be discussed ad nauseum and yet no one ever gets bored or leaves

21. Infamous posters change their usernames as often Puff Daddy does his, if not more so

22. Tennis is rigged. It's even more fake than professional wrestling.(GeorgeWHitler's law).

23. Useless threads, random stupdity, and smily overuse is mandatory

24. Good ways to earn vcash are creating threads that are either a quote from a person calling someone else out, a thread meant for bashing someone, threads proclaiming yourself to be the next federer when in fact, you eat bagels all day, or, more specifically, a thread that calls out Federer's dominance; each of these will elicit tons of posters from both sides of the issue, with flamewars, namecalling, and hilarity to ensue, while the thread creator swims in vriches

25. Anyone supporting a tennis player should be assumed to have some kind of sexual infatuation with said player, even if they don't recognize it themselves. (Joe's Law)

26. All player's fans are called -tards. Fedtards, Rafatards, Safintards, Djokotards, etc. These radical groups of people always believe their player to be superior and any player that beat him is a joke, on the juice, cheating, ugly, fat, a fluke, and will never beat him again. Also, stupidity and bias are prevelent in their posts and signatures. And, anytime that anyone (but 99% of the time, Nadal) has been given any type of luck, Uncle Toni is behind it all with his magic wand.

27. The number of supporters of a given player increases proportionally with the players' rate of success but the number of haters increases exponentially with the player's rate of success. Also, if a relatively low-ranked and little known player upsets [insert top-ranked player here], that player's bandwagon fills with haters of [insert top-ranked player here]

28. The bigger the 'i'm leaving' announcement is, the less likely that a user will actually leave MTF. People who do leave here never give notice, they just disappear. (Tall One's Law)

29. Whining and complaining are mandatory. Whenever a draw comes out, It is obviously fixed against Player A, while Player B has a cakewalk. Probably done by under-the-table deals and knife to throat backroom bargains. Also, complaining about the surface of a tournamnet months in advance and saying THAT is also fixed falls under this category. As are the conspiracies of that it is a clown era and whoever plays in this era cant possibly be considered anything close to the GOAT.

30. This forum is not a REAL mens tennis forum without a whole horde of separate threads discussing such earth-shattering topic as who's dick is the biggest, who has the best ass, best bulge, or who is the hooooooooteeetesssstttt! threads.

31. In order for one to be recognized as a troll, at least 50% one's posts must be considered some form of funny. The other 50 can be a combination of brown-nosing, bullshitting, posting pure crap, starting (or attempting to start) flamewars, or basically some other stupid act.


Did I miss any?

That's a wrap!:worship:

Xristos
12-24-2006, 12:52 PM
Where on earth is a Xristos law?

Anyone who steps on court vs Xristos = Xristos killa.

Joke. Joke. I kid, I kid.