Being Single [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Being Single

2003
10-12-2011, 10:16 AM
Myself ive always personally associated loneliness with being single and/or not having many or any friends, but I understand one can feel lonely even when these things are present.

For me, I reckon my life would be as close to complete as I could hope for if I didnt have to battle loneliness all the time. I think it's one of those unique things that both males and females feel there is a lot of stigma to admitting or you feel weak admitting to it.

But what do you associate it with and how do you deal with it? Alcohol? Drugs? Hobbies? Sport? Work? Do you keep so busy you dont have time to think about it or what?

Does anyone associate it with rejection? Fear of never being able to find a life partner? I wish I could be like some people who just dont give a crap whether they have a girlfriend/boyfriend but I just cant, as hard as I try, I simply have to have one to feel content.

Its a hard thing to cope with because you feel like a loser for even mentioning it. You feel weak. Yet one assumes everyone feels it. Do you just soldier on or?

How do you cope with being single - not by choice.

pray-for-palestine-and-israel
10-12-2011, 10:26 AM
this may sound strange

you will never find love looking for it- STOP LOOKING FOR THE ONE

just be yourself- itll happen- i went for a few years thinking i'd settle for someone less than the one
but when i met her i knew

Filo V.
10-12-2011, 11:39 AM
Find a hot guy and have sex with him.

Filo V.
10-12-2011, 11:52 AM
Myself ive always personally associated loneliness with being single and/or not having many or any friends, but I understand one can feel lonely even when these things are present.

For me, I reckon my life would be as close to complete as I could hope for if I didnt have to battle loneliness all the time. I think it's one of those unique things that both males and females feel there is a lot of stigma to admitting or you feel weak admitting to it.

But what do you associate it with and how do you deal with it? Alcohol? Drugs? Hobbies? Sport? Work? Do you keep so busy you dont have time to think about it or what?

Does anyone associate it with rejection? Fear of never being able to find a life partner? I wish I could be like some people who just dont give a crap whether they have a girlfriend/boyfriend but I just cant, as hard as I try, I simply have to have one to feel content.

Its a hard thing to cope with because you feel like a loser for even mentioning it. You feel weak. Yet one assumes everyone feels it. Do you just soldier on or?
Loneliness ultimately isn't a sign of weakness, and it's sad that global society has attributed things like loneliness, depression with being weak. That also is relatable but not directly so, with the fact that people with emotional/mental disorders and other comparable issues, are looked down upon. The stigma is because most people are emotionally guarded. We're supposed to be tough and just "get over it" if we feel down about something. People don't want to talk about their issues because it raises insecurities they can't handle, so they reject them instead, and do things like extra work or extra sex as a defense mechanism.

You're not a loser, in fact the opposite for being open and honest, that makes you stronger than those who shove their issues aside and lead eternally painful lives. Ultimately, it's about how much you love yourself. If you love yourself, you won't feel reliant on others to feel whole in your life. If you love yourself, that means you put yourself first. It means your company should be the company you enjoy most. Just soldiering on when you feel like shit almost always leads to depression, which leads to a whole host of issues, emotional, psychological and physical. You need to be able to look in the mirror and love what you see and love who you are, and everything will fall in place from there.

How do you get to that point? I'm not sure. Everyone has their own ways to motivate ones' self. But that's something that hopefully you work on, because as I said, if you like who you are, then people will see that and attract themselves to you.

JolánGagó
10-12-2011, 11:52 AM
I compulsively masturbate.

Filo V.
10-12-2011, 11:56 AM
Masturbation is probably the most unfulfilling thing to do. I mean, if you're going to do it, at least do it with someone or have someone do it with you. It's just so boring otherwise, and it's like, why not include someone else if you're feeling horny!

fast_clay
10-12-2011, 12:06 PM
i used to feel like i needed something, and that feeling was pretty constant... but now, i enjoy my own time and space... pretty much can't live without that... so, best to stop being discontent about something that will most likely stay the same for some time...

but to be honest, sounds to me like you need to save some money, get a few work visas done, buy a plane ticket and go live somewhere else... follow the backpacker path, do a contiki... and for sure you will catch a few sexually transmitted diseases in no time... and as you lay back, after spending 5 minutes applying cream to your genitalia for the 3rd time that day, you will come to wonder: 'i wish i stayed home alone that weekend...'

Li Ching Yuen
10-12-2011, 12:35 PM
Find that other thing other than human companion (of any kind) that you love, grip it and make it part of your life to such an extent that everything else pales in comparison.

Also:

"Life is change, don't be afraid"

JolánGagó
10-12-2011, 12:42 PM
or, "be water, my friend".

Dmitry Verdasco
10-12-2011, 12:50 PM
I compulsively masturbate.

This, but I cry afterwards.

tennizen
10-12-2011, 12:51 PM
I try and understand other people's feelings about loneliness and realize I am not alone in my loneliness, after all. Then solidarity abounds.

pray-for-palestine-and-israel
10-12-2011, 12:55 PM
i thin the best advice i heard is "don't settle"

dont accept if you dont think its makking you happy

shit- 6 years ago i was training to be an accountant and the boss of the company personally offered me a lifetime job with the company- with perks and everything

mentally i was so gone i had a nervous breakdown almost lost it- i quit (at the time scariest thing i ever did) and moved away for a while- always had an olive branch to come back when i felt right again- and this travelling did me so much good- because i've lived it- i dont feel the need to go out there again

sometimes you have to just trust God (or fate if you want) and do something that makes you happy

its strange because i didnt know i was unhappy untill i was happy- and i didnt kow just how happy i was untill i didnt have it- and now i appreciate everything so much more

women are complex creatures- i dont have a clue how they work or think- all i know is when a woman you really care about says she loves you- your whole world feels just a bit more complete

the best advice i can give about women is- they can smell desperation a mile off and it stinks to them- make female friends first (without any kind of strings- just friendship) and after you feel more comfortable then be more open- your soul mate is out there- she's probably single right now and wondering why her special someone hasn't come for her- its all about when its the right time

pray-for-palestine-and-israel
10-12-2011, 01:06 PM
if i may add oen point to the "dont settle"

don't let others expectations of settling be yours

if being a dustbinman makes you happy then be that-
if volunteering in a soup kitchen makes you happy then do that

5 years ago my mother got diagnosed with the big C- after shedding more tears then i could remember and feeling worthless i decided to volunteer at a cancer research uk charity store-
the manager asked me if i minded working 2 days a week- after a week i was working 5-6 day weeks there-
it was and always will be the happiest job i ever had- i never made a single penny (in fact i spent money in the store- it all went to a good cause)

mom (touch wood and pray to God) beat it-

i miss that store- the manager woman and i didnt see eye to eye- she was a paid manager who didnt give a damn about anyone but herself- and would pay her daughter to do shifts at the shop: using the till to pay her- she didnt like the fact i was working for free and offereing to do more

the people i met there i wil always treasure their friendships and stories

Nekromanta
10-12-2011, 01:11 PM
Going to a gentlemen's house or ordering a girl is never that expensive but in case ordinary people don't satisfy you turn into a holy person and you can have fun with angels and devils all the time...

Johnny Groove
10-12-2011, 04:03 PM
Some good stuff in here.

Ilovetheblues_86
10-12-2011, 04:39 PM
I cant think in shit now because I am just thinking about all the fun I will be losing without my ex-girlfriend that I had for five months now
However, we cant date someone only for the fun.
I think I lost 80% of my distractions and happy moments of the last 5 months right now... time to boost my life , dare I say.
No more electronic parties, no more movies no more meeting other people as a couple, no more pizzas at night, no more taking care of each other, no more speaking about economics and jack shit.
I am fucked hahaha. I should try to make women believe I want to marry them next time. But then again it always bothered me.

Sometimes men and women should just play this kind of "i like you never will leave you" game to try to put more perspective and context in their lifes and ight loneliness, but you goota be also happy and filled with joy when single and also without many friends.

I live in this town now for less than 2 years, I dont plan to keep living n here so I dont have too many close friends, but you gotta feel you have a whole world inside yourself, feeding your spiritual, mental and physical world properly without forgeting to be nice to the people and trying to make new friends.

There is no mistery in that.

Johnny Groove
10-12-2011, 04:56 PM
As others have said, you have to do what feels good to you. You have to be comfortable with who you are as a person. You have to be perfectly content to be alone and entertain yourself and not feel bored.

Wanting and needing someone else to fulfill you does nothing but drive other people away.

You have to love and enjoy yourself.

JolánGagó
10-12-2011, 05:45 PM
As others have said, you have to do what feels good to you. You have to be comfortable with who you are as a person. You have to be perfectly content to be alone and entertain yourself and not feel bored.

Wanting and needing someone else to fulfill you does nothing but drive other people away.

You have to love and enjoy yourself.

Most important is to know, most ppl never really get to grasp their self.

Johnny Groove
10-12-2011, 06:51 PM
Most important is to know, most ppl never really get to grasp their self.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyself

BodyServe
10-12-2011, 08:40 PM
Don't feel weak about it, other that are in a relationship (or relationshit) are in some way dependant so enjoy the freedom and do what make you happy regardless of what people think.

I know that when family members ask me about it, it annoys the crap out of me, i try to keep my convictions.
Music and fitness are my main occupations as well as entertainment (i mean by watching) such as tennis and other sports.

Keep the belief, it may come sooner or later..

Henry Chinaski
10-12-2011, 09:34 PM
I compulsively masturbate.

this

Corey Feldman
10-12-2011, 09:37 PM
play GTA on my playstation, tennis & snooker on my pc and Darts in my home

having the time of my life

cobalt60
10-12-2011, 10:49 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyself
You're still an eight
play GTA on my playstation, tennis & snooker on my pc and Darts in my home

having the time of my life

you're a 10

Corey Feldman
10-12-2011, 11:37 PM
like Bo Derek
:woohoo:

Johnny Groove
10-13-2011, 12:06 AM
like Bo Derek
:woohoo:

Now she is a classic beauty.

http://www.leninimports.com/bo_derek_gallery_20.jpg

Tommy_Vercetti
10-13-2011, 12:27 AM
I try not to be an attention seeking drama queen. I'd suggest quite a few people on this board should try that method out.

allpro
10-13-2011, 01:05 AM
like Bo Derek
:woohoo:

Now she is a classic beauty.

http://www.leninimports.com/bo_derek_gallery_20.jpg

a classic, california beauty. i had many impure thoughts about her as an adolescent.
she's aged quite gracefully.

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/5431/bo2f.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N9Usr0739s4/TiyTCaajksI/AAAAAAAAaic/X-GVid5jpxQ/s1600/Bo%2BDerek8.jpg

http://hornor.net/wpps/actress/bo-derek/bo-derek-373568-1024x768.jpg

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/3797/45049953.jpg

on your knees, my love....

allpro
10-13-2011, 01:16 AM
2003, if you have persistent feelings of loneliness, you may suffer from depression.
chicks don't dig needy, depressed guys so get help or do something fun and social when you're feeling lonely.

Topspindoctor
10-13-2011, 01:36 AM
Quite easily: Jack Daniels followed by video games.

The Magician
10-13-2011, 12:39 PM
Pick a top tennis player and whenever they win pretend like it was you winning. You'll feel accomplished, in shape, and popular, all without having to actually be any of those things. If them losing makes you depressed just be a gloryhunter or Fedal who likes everybody as long as they're winning. This is the real reason people post on MTF ;)

arm
10-15-2011, 12:18 AM
I try and understand other people's feelings about loneliness and realize I am not alone in my loneliness, after all. Then solidarity abounds.

This. Sometimes you feel depressed and unhappy about your life and you look around and get even more depressed. Because everyone around you seems to be doing great and seems to be so sure about they want out of life. But they don't. We all struggle... :shrug: The most important thing is to have the courage of changing your life when you're unhappy with it.

Start da Game
10-15-2011, 06:12 AM
Myself ive always personally associated loneliness with being single and/or not having many or any friends, but I understand one can feel lonely even when these things are present.

For me, I reckon my life would be as close to complete as I could hope for if I didnt have to battle loneliness all the time. I think it's one of those unique things that both males and females feel there is a lot of stigma to admitting or you feel weak admitting to it.

But what do you associate it with and how do you deal with it? Alcohol? Drugs? Hobbies? Sport? Work? Do you keep so busy you dont have time to think about it or what?

Does anyone associate it with rejection? Fear of never being able to find a life partner? I wish I could be like some people who just dont give a crap whether they have a girlfriend/boyfriend but I just cant, as hard as I try, I simply have to have one to feel content.

Its a hard thing to cope with because you feel like a loser for even mentioning it. You feel weak. Yet one assumes everyone feels it. Do you just soldier on or?

find a work first, things will start happening......sitting at home won't lead you anywhere......damn what life partner man? you are not 35 or something are you? keep trying different girls or even go find a few strippers.....never go the alcohol, drugs way no matter what......

TMJordan
10-15-2011, 06:35 AM
boxes of wine

2003
07-12-2012, 02:25 AM
boxes of wine

I have migrated to boxes of Vodka :worship:

tripwires
07-12-2012, 06:30 AM
I have migrated to boxes of Vodka :worship:

:sad: Try playing tennis. It's very therapeutic.

And obviously I mean real life tennis, not lame Playstation shit.

Shinoj
07-12-2012, 06:39 AM
I chase Lesbians.

tripwires
07-12-2012, 06:57 AM
:lol:

Johnny Groove
07-12-2012, 03:57 PM
Being single isn't all that bad.

Chris Kuerten
07-12-2012, 05:02 PM
Being single isn't all that bad.Every girl you have in your avatar is EXACTLY my type.

Stop it, you're scaring me.

Slade
07-13-2012, 07:35 AM
I feel more lonely when I'm with other people; solitude is my element

2003
07-17-2012, 10:44 PM
I feel more lonely when I'm with other people; solitude is my element

Sometimes this can be true

Edda
07-17-2012, 11:58 PM
I feel lonelier when I'm in a crowd of people with whom I have nothing in common, than when I am by myself doing what I like and spending quality time with my cats. I haven't found anyone I have enough in common with yet. I am almost 48, so I know that getting married is probably not an option.

Nathaliia
07-18-2012, 01:11 PM
so many banned people posted in this thread

i wonder if they are very lonely now without us :sad:

jacoblewis2008
08-30-2012, 07:12 AM
We should always keep ourselves busy with the activities or hobby we like. This is the Best way to live life.

Jimnik
08-30-2012, 07:53 AM
find a work first, things will start happening......sitting at home won't lead you anywhere......damn what life partner man? you are not 35 or something are you? keep trying different girls or even go find a few strippers.....never go the alcohol, drugs way no matter what......
Bless SdG. Wish I could good-rep even after a ban.

abraxas21
08-30-2012, 05:09 PM
Every girl you have in your avatar is EXACTLY my type.

Stop it, you're scaring me.

like most models, they're everybody's type

seattletennisguy
09-03-2012, 07:21 AM
I think I'm happier and less stressed out than friends of mine who're married or attached. A friend of mine and his girlfriend just admitted to cheating on each other - both of them - while she was away on a month-long work assignment. Now they're arguing because he proposed an open relationship.

I honestly think you can be happily single, just as you can be unhappily married/attached.

The Prince
09-06-2012, 05:21 PM
I think being single brings out the best of one's character.

TigerTim
09-06-2012, 05:26 PM
:hug: to everyone single and hahaahshshahahahaah mugs




:secret: I am also single but thought I would troll you all :lol: being single is not bad at all, make the most of everything and take what life gives and rest assured you will find someone. Don't forget to be yourself! (god it sounds cheesy - but it's true :))

2003
12-02-2013, 11:00 AM
I think being single brings out the best of one's character.

Wow, i'm borderline homicidal single..I better stay away from girlfriends then :)

GOAT = Fed
12-02-2013, 12:09 PM
Lol and why the fuck do you associate being lonely with no friends?

Now I only really ever keep a small circle of close friends and hardly ever go to big social events. It's not that I'm shy or socially awkward but after having been to a few big gatherings this is usually what happens:

Everyone gets drunk
Everyone tries to attention whore and make themselves the center of attention [100% serious].
Or everyone makes small talk for the sake of it.

No thanks Jeff. I'd much rather have a night in with a few close friends or give me a book to read any day. I prefer small social settings with actual meaning behind them [ie to watch a team we all support] than big parties where everyone is just there to waste time and get drunk. I don't know about you mate, but I can't stand nearly every aspect of what society deems 'socialising', it gets on my nerves. It's probably because a lot of people socialise to seek validation from others so they're not labelled 'anti social'. Fuck that, not a single fuck was given.

Trust me it's better to have a group of close knitted mates you hang out with every so often than to just have a large social circle without any meaning.

Heck I wouldn't even mind if I had no friends at all as I prefer my own company most of all.

And in regards to getting a GF, after a few relationships trust me you don't want to get into one. Single life is infinitely many times better. This is probably because 99% of girls are attention seekers and I cannot stand attention seekers. It's hard to find a girl in the Western world who doesn't live to get drunk on the weekends.

I just like my own independence. If you live to seek validation from others you can never live freely or independently, which is exactly how those YOLO socialising idiots live.

rocketassist
12-02-2013, 12:09 PM
I knew this would be a 2003 thread as soon as I clicked on GOAT= Fed's post.

tripwires
12-02-2013, 02:09 PM
Wow, i'm borderline homicidal single..I better stay away from girlfriends then :)

You're back. :D


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August
12-03-2013, 12:21 AM
Being a single has it's pros. You free to do almost whatever you want. I was once chatting with some friends and telling how I really want to live in many different countries in the future. A girl asked my that how about family life? I just said I haven't thought about that. The promising thing for me is that when my grandpa got married at 39, he said he's wasting a lot of good youth. And I still have 16 years to that.

And being a single isn't that bad also when watching tennis. I'm not sure a gf would like me going to sleep at 6pm, to wake up at 2am to watch Lisicki at the AO.

Johnny Groove
12-03-2013, 12:40 AM
Being single is one thing, being lonely is quite another.

We as humans are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be with someone special.

miura88
12-03-2013, 12:40 AM
If society consisted of fewer narrow-minded douchebags, I'd be a lot more sociable.