PDA. Yea or Nay? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

PDA. Yea or Nay?

Filo V.
10-06-2011, 07:24 PM
Kissing. It's something that everyone, at least once in their lives, have experienced. Whether it's an innocent peck by a father on the forehand of his child, or a makeout session on the dancefloor of a nightclub, having kissed/been kissed is one of those rare commonalities all human beings share.

However, when kissing between two individuals occurs in public, quite often there is backlash against those who engage in it, and negativity surrounding the idea of it. Usually feelings of disgust or a violation of social decency.

Personally, I couldn't care less about PDA, I don't care if two people fuck in public. It's not about me or whether I enjoy or hate seeing 2 people kiss, it's about those two people, who feel a connection, showing affection towards one another. With that said, I realize there is a time and place for everything, and recognize there are certain lines one simply shouldn't cross.

So, with all of this said, everyone............what are your thoughts on PDA? It doesn't have to be just kissing...........every and all forms of PDA. Let's see where MTF stands on this subject.

Johnny Groove
10-06-2011, 07:31 PM
Don't care.

And those that do are merely jealous that they don't have anyone to smooch on in public.

Filo V.
10-06-2011, 07:39 PM
I agree to a certain extent, Jonathan. I do think for some people, it's jealousy. I think that for a lot of people, they're just sexually repressed and extremely emotionally guarded, and insecure, so they recoil at natural signs of emotion and affection between two people.

Filo V.
10-06-2011, 07:49 PM
The problem I have with the issue of PDA isn't the PDA itself, but the inconsistency. What do I mean? Read this story and you'll see what I mean:
latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2011/09/leisha-hailey-southwest-airlines-lesbian-kiss-girlfriend.html
latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2011/09/leisha-hailey-southwest-kissing-the-l-word.html

Stories like this are common. Whether it be two girls, two guys, two people considered unattractive, there is NO CONSISTENCY when it comes to PDA. Some couples are allowed to get away with anything. Including hands in each others' pants, making out publicly and completely falling all over each other while walking. Yet, if 2 guys did the same exact thing, they're libel to get the shit kicked out of them in many places.

That is where I have a problem with PDA. A lot of people seem to have this "it's OK, as long as the people doing it I'm attracted to/are attractive." People who say they don't like it only seem to get in arms over it when 2 people they aren't into, do it. Otherwise they're silent. I've seen couples making out while they having a baby with them or a child, and I don't see people going out of their way to make a dramatic issue of it. It's hypocritical at the very least, and plain bigoted in it's core. Either it is or it isn't OK to do PDA, bottom line. But to act like some people are making a spectacle while others, it's oh whatever, who cares..............is 100% bullshit.

Henry Chinaski
10-06-2011, 09:30 PM
don't generally mind but it can make the guy look like a real pathetic whipped piece of shit a lot of the time and in such instances I am filled with pity, revulsion and disgust.

out_here_grindin
10-06-2011, 09:40 PM
I saw more PDA in Italy in 1 month than I have seen in 20 years in America.

Caesar1844
10-06-2011, 11:39 PM
It doesn't bother me. Somewhat declasse, however.

A lot of people seem to have this "it's OK, as long as the people doing it I'm attracted to/are attractive."
So? People have much the same attitude to anything. Take graffiti. If it's Banksy, everybody loves it. If it's tagging, then everybody hates it.

That's life. People want to look at attractive things and avoid looking at unattractive things.

I mean, if there was some sort of law against unattractive people making out that didn't apply to attractive people then I'd agree you have a point. But if your problem is that people enjoy looking at some people and not at others... well, you can't change that.

Filo V.
10-07-2011, 01:17 AM
No, it can't be changed. That also doesn't make it acceptable. It's still inconsistent. It's still fundamentally discriminatory to have a different standard for one person/couple in comparison to another person/couple.

Caesar1844
10-07-2011, 01:28 AM
People have aesthetic preferences. If I see two fat old guys going at it on the train then I'm going to find that pretty gross and not want to watch. If I see two hot young girls making doing the same then I'm going to be less revolted.

I'm sure you yourself find two attractive people going at it more pleasant to watch than two ugly people. That's just the way people are constructed. I don't think it's discriminatory unless you try and restrict the rights of one group in favour of the other.

Topspindoctor
10-07-2011, 01:33 AM
I honestly couldn't care less.

Filo V.
10-07-2011, 02:39 AM
People have aesthetic preferences. If I see two fat old guys going at it on the train then I'm going to find that pretty gross and not want to watch. If I see two hot young girls making doing the same then I'm going to be less revolted.

I'm sure you yourself find two attractive people going at it more pleasant to watch than two ugly people. That's just the way people are constructed. I don't think it's discriminatory unless you try and restrict the rights of one group in favour of the other.

Of course, we all have our preferences. I'm not going to pretend I'd find it pleasant to see two fat ugly dudes making out. I wouldn't. The thing is, though, I'm not going to even allow that situation concern me to the point where I'd feel revolted. I'd block it out if I wasn't liking what I was potentially in line to see. That's where the big issue is. It's like some people can't help themselves, and must let it be known what they "want" to see or don't want to see. And go out of their way to make an issue, make comments, call management/security in public building, etc. They don't let it go and ignore it, they turn it into an issue. In many cases, a persons' radar is more focused on the people they find unappealing, and that's a reality.

Yeah, obviously, people engaging in PDA which we individually find attractive, for whatever reason, will not create the same negative reaction within ourselves. But that doesn't mean that one should complain or embarrass those we aren't into on a visual level. If a person doesn't react when two women they find hot are engaging in PDA, then that person should have the respect to not react if 2 fat old dudes make out. Just keep it moving. Like you said, it's restricting the right for one group to do the same another group is allowed to that is discriminatory.

pray-for-palestine-and-israel
10-12-2011, 11:36 AM
many ways to see this

i dont mind a peck on the cheek with the wife if we are outside (when we were younger we would sneak around a hidden corner and have a full on kiss and grope)

but i wouldn't go all crazy with her in a public place

i try to look away when other people are kissing in public

around these parts gays are shunned- but if i saw 2 men or even women kissing i'd be disgusted- i dont mind how people live their lives but homosexuality is wrong in my opinion (i dont mind what people do in their own time in their own homes)

just my honest opinion- PDAs should be cut down

Filo V.
10-12-2011, 11:58 AM
Oh yeah this thread. I really don't have much else to add to what I already have, I just don't really see the issue. I also think even if you're religious or have moral principles that lead you to having an anti-gay position, you shouldn't be affected by 2 guys or gals kissing. It's a kiss. All of it is just kissing. Some people treat kissing like it's sex, when clearly it isn't.

pray-for-palestine-and-israel
10-12-2011, 02:12 PM
and i appologise if anyone is offended- I love homosexuals because i feel like they have to go through so much BS from haters- they deserve more of a break than anyone else- especially since they are the most open and kindest people usually

i just- wouldn't be comfortable having dinner at a restaurant with the wife (and future) kids and seeing 2 men/women overly PDA

i hope i dont come across as a bigot- i promise i am not- i would never want anyone to suffer any type of hate especially if its something they had no control over in the first place

Filo V.
10-12-2011, 03:37 PM
Speaking as a gay I appreciate the kind and seemingly very genuine praises for the people in our community, but with that said the whole "I disagree with homosexuality, it makes me disgusted" or "I'm against gay PDA because 2 men/women make me uncomfortable" are bullshit excuses based on bullshit, and the whole "it's gross" crap is the only reason homophobia actually exists. That isn't a defendable position. And I could explain why but I'm not going to derail the thread.

Everyone should read up on the term PROJECTIVE DISGUST. Type that into your search engines and you'll learn a lot revolving around this and other relatable issues.

Tommy_Vercetti
10-12-2011, 03:52 PM
PDA = ridiculous. A quick kiss at an appropriate time is one thing, but people who feel the need to make out in public and grope each other and what not are annoying as hell. And people who say that you have to be jealous are fools. It's just not something that people should feel the need to do in front of other people. Like yelling at their children or fighting with their partner. People use to have more dignity.

Caesar1844
10-13-2011, 12:35 AM
Speaking as a gay I appreciate the kind and seemingly very genuine praises for the people in our community, but with that said the whole "I disagree with homosexuality, it makes me disgusted" or "I'm against gay PDA because 2 men/women make me uncomfortable" are bullshit excuses based on bullshit, and the whole "it's gross" crap is the only reason homophobia actually exists. That isn't a defendable position. And I could explain why but I'm not going to derail the thread.

Everyone should read up on the term PROJECTIVE DISGUST. Type that into your search engines and you'll learn a lot revolving around this and other relatable issues.
I dunno. I find gay sex pretty disgusting, but no more disgusting than a lot of heterosexual activities (e.g. coprophilia). I don't think that makes me homophobic, I just think it means that gay sex is not for me.

I just always figured a natural dislike of the idea of gay sex is a byproduct of being heterosexual. Doesn't it cut both ways? I mean, surely gay people are hugely turned off by the idea of heterosexual sex. They're gay, after all.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 03:22 PM
There isn't a such thing as "gay sex". There is no such thing as a solitary sexual activity done by gay people. And that's what makes that whole "it's gross" statement loaded in condemnation and ignorance and ultimately irrational.

Saying, "I don't prefer" gay sex or a gay person saying "I don't prefer" heterosexual sex, isn't the same as saying it's gross. The word disgust in itself implies wrongness and condemnation. The correct and rational response is "this isn't for me" or "I'm not gay/straight, but if that's what you're into, OK." Because there isn't anything inherently disgusting about 2 guys/gals or a man/woman fucking. There is nothing based on logic to hold those views. It's an emotional choice. And emotional choices without logic are irrational choices.

Also, most gay men have had sex with women, either to come to the realization they're gay, because they're in a sexually confused stage, because they're in denial and living a DL life, several reasons. So obviously, there isn't the same level of negative reaction towards heterosexual sex from gay people than there is negative reaction from heterosexuals towards homosexuality. Most of it due to the bigoted moral principles that have been taught condemning homosexuality AS dirty and immoral. Because homophobia is not existent on any large scale in any other species outside of the human species, saying it's "normal" and "natural" to be homophobic if you're straight or have negativity towards homosexuality isn't based on any natural response. It's learned.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 03:26 PM
Oh, and a big, BIG difference between gay people and straight people in this area comes down to the fact women have a vagina and boobs, and therefore vaginal sex is not something that is done by 2 guys. Oral, anal, masturbation are done by all. But vaginal fucking is done only one group. So when a gay person has a reaction against heterosexual activity, it's different than when a straight person has a reaction against homosexual activity because there ARE solitary sex acts that heterosexuals engage in.

Anyway, look up PROJECTIVE DISGUST on your search engine Ceasar and everyone else, and it will answer these questions.

Caesar1844
10-13-2011, 03:59 PM
Saying, "I don't prefer" gay sex or a gay person saying "I don't prefer" heterosexual sex, isn't the same as saying it's gross. The word disgust in itself implies wrongness and condemnation.
I think you read too much into it. It implies no more than subjective physical repulsion. No more, no less.

The correct and rational response is "this isn't for me" or "I'm not gay/straight, but if that's what you're into, OK."
Why can't it be both? That IS my response. But I also acknowledge that I am physically revolted by the idea. Same as I'm revolted by the idea of two old people having sex. Or someone taking a dump on someone else's chest whilst doing the deed. Or a guy fucking his sister.

Because there isn't anything inherently disgusting about 2 guys/gals or a man/woman fucking. There is nothing based on logic to hold those views. It's an emotional choice. And emotional choices without logic are irrational choices.
Since when is sex about logic? Sex is about attraction, and attraction isn't logical. It's not logical for some people to have a feet fetish, it's not logical for me to love girls with green eyes. Yet some people like other people's feet, and I go weak at the knees when I meet a cute girl with emerald irides.

If you can accept that attraction is illogical, then surely you can accept that its diametric opposite - revulsion - doesn't have to be logical either.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 04:20 PM
Attraction or no attraction. That's it. It doesn't equal, oh, well, I'm not attracted to you, so I find you gross. Attraction=into a person. No attraction=not into a person. And that is the rational response. I'm not attracted to you..............done. And unlike 2 OLD people fucking or fucking disgusting shit like scat, 2 guys/gals and a man/woman fucking in itself isn't disgusting because there is nothing INHERENTLY disgusting about the sex they have. 2 older people fucking, the disgust is because they're old, people tend to connect attractiveness with youth. Scat, well, shit is shit and shit is body waste. There is actually something qualifiable there that creates a negative reaction. Finding green eyes attractive, there is a qualifiable reason behind that. You find it alluring. You find it sexy. You find it cute. There isn't anything qualifiable about "it's gross because it's gross."

And, rationally, comparing homosexuality to scat should be a pretty big indicator you're an irrational ass. In fact, the only indicator needed. Again, you don't hear gay people comparing heterosexuality to scat, old people fucking, pedophilia, etc., and that isn't a coincidence.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 04:20 PM
I'm not going to go on and on any further. Everyone read up on the term PROJECTIVE DISGUST and you'll have your answers.

Caesar1844
10-13-2011, 04:49 PM
2 old people fucking, the disgust is because they're old, people tend to connect attractiveness with youth.
And two gay guys fucking is disgusting because heterosexuals tend to connect attractiveness with heterosexuality.

See how this works?

And, rationally, comparing homosexuality to scat should be a pretty big indicator you're an irrational ass. In fact, the only indicator needed. Again, you don't hear gay people comparing heterosexuality to scat, old people fucking, pedophilia, etc., and that isn't a coincidence.
The use of scat as an example wasn't meant to offend. I was using it merely to get my point across using something I was confident you'd probably find gross as well.

Use incest if you prefer. There's nothing inherently disgusting about a guy fucking his sister. I mean, logically speaking the genetic risk to any offspring is pretty negligible. But most people find that gross.

I'm not trying to denigrate gay sex or gay people. I'm just trying to point out that just because some people find it pretty revolting doesn't necessarily mean that they're homophobic, or bear gay people any ill will.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 05:28 PM
I knew you don't mean to offend, and I was speaking in generalities. Anyone who makes the comparison you did immediately extinguished any potential validity they had with their argument. Especially since scat is an actual solitary act, we're not talking about human beings engaging in sexual activity, but a doing an actual "thing"............it's something that can be qualified.

Actually, the genetic risk involved with incest is pretty high. But outside of the genetic risks, there are a HOST of social/psychological/emotional risk factors involved with the practice. Incest isn't healthy, by and large. People are naturally hardwired to remove themselves and not involve themselves in unhealthy, unpalatable situations. Homosexuality doesn't fit that descripition, so having an extreme aversion against homosexuality is not natural nor rational on that basis.

Ultimately, the opposite of attraction, is no attraction. It isn't disgust. No attraction doesn't=disgust. Disgust is an emotion totally separate to feeling unattracted by an individual or particular thing. And the term "disgust" is a loaded one, although you may not mean to come off that way, the term disgust is inherently connected to wrongness and negativity.

We all have our likes and dislikes, and preferences. And that is understandable. But that doesn't, shouldn't nor justify holding a feeling of disgust towards another individual or what they do, solely because you're not attracted to that activity yourself.

Filo V.
10-13-2011, 05:29 PM
Oh, and Ceasar, I know I've said it but I'll say it again, look up the term projective disgust on your internet search engine.

abraxas21
10-13-2011, 06:38 PM
when a friend from seattle came over to my nation, she was surprised by the numerous displays of PDA

come to think of it, that was the first time i heard of the expression