Anyone else find themselves unable to talk? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Anyone else find themselves unable to talk?

Sofonda Cox
09-17-2011, 10:14 PM
Okay, so I went round a friends house who I hadn't seen for a while. His lodger was there too and we talked for an hour or two. I found myself struggling with the conversation, which then led to anxiety, which made it worse! This has happened to me before but not for a while. Anyone else get that? Where you're in a group of people and not talking much or at all?

Filo V.
09-17-2011, 10:26 PM
"Lodger" is so British. I love it :lol:

I don't get anxiety when I'm around a lot of people. I've never gotten nervous with any sort of spotlight on me or in groups, but I am a naturally quiet person. A lot of people mistake that for being shy, but it takes me a while to warm up to a situation/person. Unless it's a hot man, of course.

Sofonda Cox
09-17-2011, 10:29 PM
"Lodger" is so British. I love it :lol:

I don't get anxiety when I'm around a lot of people. I've never gotten nervous with any sort of spotlight on me or in groups, but I am a naturally quiet person. A lot of people mistake that for being shy, but it takes me a while to warm up to a situation/person. Unless it's a hot man, of course.

:lol: :p

I think that's actually what I'm worried about - that people will think that I am shy. I don't see that as a good trait to have. I'll just pay for some therapy lol

Certinfy
09-17-2011, 10:50 PM
Ray :hug:

Happens a lot to me too as I'm really shy, maybe it's a trust issue though as once I get to know people well I feel okay to talk to them more. :scratch:

Sofonda Cox
09-17-2011, 11:02 PM
Ray :hug:

Happens a lot to me too as I'm really shy, maybe it's a trust issue though as once I get to know people well I feel okay to talk to them more. :scratch:

Yeah that could be partly it too! I feel like sometimes I have to moderate everything in my mind before I say it, incase I say the wrong thing! By the time it gets to saying it the moment has passed :lol: I feel envious of people who find it easy to talk to anyone though.

clandis
09-17-2011, 11:22 PM
Well, as the old saying goes, it is better to be silent and thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it. I tend to not say much until I know someone pretty well. You learn more by listening.

Sofonda Cox
09-17-2011, 11:37 PM
Well, as the old saying goes, it is better to be silent and thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it. I tend to not say much until I know someone pretty well. You learn more by listening.

Awww I like that saying :) I will remember it next time my anxiety is on the increase :lol: :)

GOAT = Fed
09-17-2011, 11:41 PM
Lol when I first meet people I'm extremely quiet and shy, but after like 30 mins, when we've both opened up, they have to beg me to shut my mouth :lol:

JolánGagó
09-17-2011, 11:42 PM
man is slave to his words and master of his silences.

you choose.

Har-Tru
09-18-2011, 12:12 AM
Happens every time I'm with a group of women.

krystlel
09-18-2011, 12:55 AM
Yeah, it is normal for me.

Garson007
09-19-2011, 01:30 AM
You people are weird. I prefer not to talk to people. When in a group I'll just go along with my own thoughts - or, when drinking, dancing on the table.

Orka_n
09-19-2011, 01:38 AM
No, that doesn't happen a lot to me. Of course I've experienced awkward silences a few times but rarely or never have I been the cause for them. I'm a talkative guy in most situations.

Johnny Groove
09-19-2011, 02:51 AM
It is easy. All you have to do is open your mouth and make use of your vocal cords :p

Seriously though, it's gotta be nerves. Nerves are good, if you use them to your advantage. Don't get choked up by the nerves. Feel the nerves, embrace the nerves, use it as a high. That's what athletes do :shrug:

MatchFederer
09-19-2011, 05:52 AM
Never.

Bilbo
09-19-2011, 03:27 PM
It's normal for most men especially in groups of women. It's like approach anxiety which EVERY man has. Why? Because it's not part of your comfort zone. The only solution to get rid of these anxieties is to have the courage and practice these things over and over again. You have to do exactly what you are afraid of. You'll never get rid of your anxieties but you can reduce them. You need to extend your comfort zones.

Getta
09-19-2011, 03:34 PM
better not to talk than to talk in sloppy cliches filled with meaningless verbal litter

Bilbo
09-19-2011, 03:38 PM
better not to talk than to talk in sloppy cliches filled with meaningless verbal litter

disagreed

theMEESH
09-19-2011, 11:17 PM
If I'm with one friend, I'm good. Once the group gets larger, I find myself listening more than talking. Often times I feel like I can't relate to what they're saying and don't feel comfortable trying to respond. If it's a party.. I'm fucked :sad: I don't even go. I get all anxious and nervous and it's just bad.

cobalt60
09-19-2011, 11:43 PM
better not to talk than to talk in sloppy cliches filled with meaningless verbal litter

:rolls: OMG I want you to publish a book of the many wonderful Getta sayings. LIke Confucius.

cobalt60
09-19-2011, 11:45 PM
To answer the question- no not in real life; only here on MTF chat threads. I just have nothing much to say anymore.

theMEESH
09-19-2011, 11:52 PM
To answer the question- no not in real life; only here on MTF chat threads. I just have nothing much to say anymore.

I used to check to see if people would update in my old favorite chat threads... but no. T_T

cobalt60
09-19-2011, 11:54 PM
I used to check to see if people would update in my old favorite chat threads... but no. T_T

Must be us then :haha: :hug:

tennisfan856
09-20-2011, 12:18 AM
Only interviews make me crap my pants.

Sofonda Cox
09-20-2011, 07:43 PM
If I'm with one friend, I'm good. Once the group gets larger, I find myself listening more than talking. Often times I feel like I can't relate to what they're saying and don't feel comfortable trying to respond. If it's a party.. I'm fucked :sad: I don't even go. I get all anxious and nervous and it's just bad.

Im exactly the same as you!!! Everything you said I can identify with.

jmjhb
09-20-2011, 07:48 PM
Depends who I'm with. With a friend or group of friends, no. With an acquaintance/'drinking buddy', not really.

If it's someone I've never met before, then I tend to struggle. Then again I hate small talk.

I get nervous when speaking in public though, obviously doesn't help if you've got a stammer. Had the honour of being a best man recently, so I had to do a speech there. The first paragraph was a bit ropey, but after that I managed to speak with clarity. Considered that a victory. :)

Bilbo
09-20-2011, 08:01 PM
If I'm with one friend, I'm good. Once the group gets larger, I find myself listening more than talking. Often times I feel like I can't relate to what they're saying and don't feel comfortable trying to respond. If it's a party.. I'm fucked :sad: I don't even go. I get all anxious and nervous and it's just bad.

I know how you might feel, but for a woman it's not a problem to be shy. You'll get approached anyway and shy women usually are considered as cute. On the other side if a man is shy or unconfident it's very unattractive to girls. Men need to be the leader of the group.

Navratil
09-21-2011, 10:38 AM
Okay, so I went round a friends house who I hadn't seen for a while. His lodger was there too and we talked for an hour or two. I found myself struggling with the conversation, which then led to anxiety, which made it worse! This has happened to me before but not for a while. Anyone else get that? Where you're in a group of people and not talking much or at all?

What do you mean? You can't talk at all or you are not able to talk about feelings or deeper meaning or whatever?