please pray for me [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

please pray for me

@Sweet Cleopatra
05-02-2011, 06:27 AM
i am in a very big family trouble i really needs your prays
in a discussion about a family member i told my uncle that i know that 2 of my uncles were schizophrenic and killed themselves and he took it very personal and i didn't know he is so sensitive to this, he keeps telling me that they were normal but there were things that no one can stand in the house and that he is the only one who knows the truth
he now says that my mother is the worst person ever cause she told me and i dont know what is he going to say to her
my mother may avoid me, i really didn't mean to make a trouble i thought he already knows i know cause all of the family know but we don't talk about it a lot, but he acts so weird and i am so scared i may lose the trust of my mother who already doesn't live with me right now but were going to spend august with us
now my uncle is really so shocked and he acts so weird and i don't know what to do, i kept begging him not to tell my mother and he promised not to tell her but i know he may ask her, he left to work and i am so scared that he may talk to her about it

please pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i beg you to pray for me cause this may become big and put me in a lot of troubles
i know i sound pathetic but i cant talk to anyone about this situation and my chest is full of fear and confusion and i need to talk to anyone
i hope you really pray for me i didnt mean any thing and i can't take the complicated relations any more i dont want to be put in trouble about things that i didnt do again, i avoid many things and now i put myself in this horrible situation because i am stupid so please guys pray for me i really need it so bad

i am so sorry i know you are going to find this weird and i am sorry about that but i want to talk and take it off my chest and i also need your prays

Goldenoldie
05-02-2011, 07:01 AM
A few things to say to you, some of which may help, some may not.

1. You choose your friends, you don't choose your family. Whatever happens with your mother and your uncle, you are your own person and not responsible to them or for them.

2. You say "I can't talk to anyone about this situation", but you just did. If you have friends in real life, or on facebook or whatever, talk to them. They know you, and are much more likely to be able to give you helpful advice than a complete stranger like me.

3. Things are hardly ever as bad as they seem, and there are millions worse off than you and me. Are you homeless? No? Are you starving? No? Are you disabled or in constant pain? No? Count the blessings you have now, before worrying about what may or may not happen.

4. Don't beat yourself up. It sounds as though you spoke honestly, if perhaps unwisely. Secrets are never easy to keep, they have a habit of becoming known.

5. Of course I will say a prayer for you, but it is most important for you to pray yourself. And don't make your prayer all about YOU because you are scared. Pray for the good and the happiness of the other people involved, and pray that God will overcome and hurt you may have accidentally caused. I see that you are from Palestine, so I don't know if you are Muslim, Jewish or Christian, but the advice is the same.

6. If you need to say more you are welcome to send me an email. You can find my email address in the first post of any Tennis Tipping thread which I have managed. I will not promise to answer quickly, but I will promise to answer.

Let me know how you get on.

Ilovetheblues_86
05-02-2011, 07:12 AM
You cant feel guilty for telling your mother opinions to your uncle.
It appears your uncle believes your mother brainwashed you with those schizophrenic problems (which indeed are a very good excuse for modern problesm- schizophrenia, bipolar disorder- yeah right- too easy to put into cathegories and take away the relevance of other factors like personality and approach to the external world).

The most important thing, sweety, dont suffer. Its not your fault your family has problems and you cant be scared of your uncle or your mother- its their problems.

I pray for your family arrange well and mostly that being a nice person that you seems to be, that you can unite it together, but if it doesnt happen I am sure you can have a lead role in some years of bringing more peace to your family.

Commander Data
05-02-2011, 08:06 AM
It does not seem to me that you have done anything wrong.
Cant you just tell your mother what happened and your fears? She should understand.

Your oncle likely has some painful memories attached to what happened to your oncles. I think it is more these memories that made him mad then what you said.

@Sweet Cleopatra
05-02-2011, 08:21 AM
A few things to say to you, some of which may help, some may not.

1. You choose your friends, you don't choose your family. Whatever happens with your mother and your uncle, you are your own person and not responsible to them or for them.

2. You say "I can't talk to anyone about this situation", but you just did. If you have friends in real life, or on facebook or whatever, talk to them. They know you, and are much more likely to be able to give you helpful advice than a complete stranger like me.

3. Things are hardly ever as bad as they seem, and there are millions worse off than you and me. Are you homeless? No? Are you starving? No? Are you disabled or in constant pain? No? Count the blessings you have now, before worrying about what may or may not happen.

4. Don't beat yourself up. It sounds as though you spoke honestly, if perhaps unwisely. Secrets are never easy to keep, they have a habit of becoming known.

5. Of course I will say a prayer for you, but it is most important for you to pray yourself. And don't make your prayer all about YOU because you are scared. Pray for the good and the happiness of the other people involved, and pray that God will overcome and hurt you may have accidentally caused. I see that you are from Palestine, so I don't know if you are Muslim, Jewish or Christian, but the advice is the same.

6. If you need to say more you are welcome to send me an email. You can find my email address in the first post of any Tennis Tipping thread which I have managed. I will not promise to answer quickly, but I will promise to answer.

Let me know how you get on.

Thank you so much for the advice. I know I am not responsible but I have experienced similar things like that before and it is not that simple, it is very complicated. My mother and my uncle hate each others and they have a very bad history.
I can talk to you people in the forum about the situation because you don't know me personally but I can't talk to people I know in real life about the situation at all. I had trouble once and I have learned to keep it quite. I know there are many problems in the world and I am not blaming anyone but myself because I know I shouldn't have opened my mouth.
I keep praying but I am scared. I am not Palestinian I am just putting the flag, I learned how to never put personal informations on the internet. Somehow, any thing that I think is simple gets complicated in our family.

You cant feel guilty for telling your mother opinions to your uncle.
It appears your uncle believes your mother brainwashed you with those schizophrenic problems (which indeed are a very good excuse for modern problesm- schizophrenia, bipolar disorder- yeah right- too easy to put into cathegories and take away the relevance of other factors like personality and approach to the external world).

The most important thing, sweety, dont suffer. Its not your fault your family has problems and you cant be scared of your uncle or your mother- its their problems.

I pray for your family arrange well and mostly that being a nice person that you seems to be, that you can unite it together, but if it doesnt happen I am sure you can have a lead role in some years of bringing more peace to your family.

The whole family knows not only my mother, my uncle gave me a disturbed explanation, it makes me feel confused cause he sounds like someone who is hiding a very big secret that he can't tell or that he doesn't like anyone to know about my uncles disease. I have never seen him so annoyed and sensitive, and it makes me sad. I thought he knows I know. I didn't mean to open a discussion he doesn't want to talk about. He is also talking about my mother in a very bad way, it is like he is talking about someone I don't know, I know my mother is not that mean person.



It does not seem to me that you have done anything wrong.
Cant you just tell your mother what happened and your fears? She should understand.

Your oncle likely has some painful memories attached to what happened to your oncles. I think it is more these memories that made him mad then what you said.

I can't tell her, I hope she doesn't know.
Yes, my uncle seems to have a very bad memory and a big secret but he also hates my mother.


I am so much better now, I was just in panic and I don't want my mother to know plus I didn't mean to hurt my uncle, I will leave it to God he knows how much trouble I faced in similar situations and I will just sleep. Thank you guys so much for replying, I wanted to talk.

safin-rules-no.1
05-02-2011, 09:11 AM
:hug: Sweetcleo. There is a lot of stigma around mental illness still in some places. It's sad your uncle reacted so badly but he must have his reasons. You did nothing wrong and even if your mother finds out i'm sure she will be fine eventually.

Ilovetheblues_86
05-02-2011, 09:39 AM
The whole family knows not only my mother, my uncle gave me a disturbed explanation, it makes me feel confused cause he sounds like someone who is hiding a very big secret that he can't tell or that he doesn't like anyone to know about my uncles disease. I have never seen him so annoyed and sensitive, and it makes me sad. I thought he knows I know. I didn't mean to open a discussion he doesn't want to talk about. He is also talking about my mother in a very bad way, it is like he is talking about someone I don't know, I know my mother is not that mean person.




I think your uncle wants to put some honor to your deceased uncles. Maybe your uncle thinks that schizophrenic and psychological problems are too simple or derrogatory to his other members of the family to be a reason for them to suicide Indeed, maybe he wants to pass the image that suicide was their only option, and that their in their lives they were in a suffering agony. So for him maybe your mother is disonoring their image. About secrets or peoples behaviours, some stins from the past always keep themselves colorful after many years of washing them up...

Mimi
05-04-2011, 07:29 AM
i don't think you did anything wrong, you just told what you were being told :confused:

please don't be scared, i think your uncles are going to calm down soon and in the meantime, if you are really scared, better try your best to avoid seeing your uncles :hug:

theMEESH
05-04-2011, 05:38 PM
I honestly don't think you or your mother did the wrong thing. Sweeping something as severe as schizophrenia under the rug is really bad. It's important that you know your family's medical history so you can be prepared for if you get it, or if your children get it.

The idea of hiding it actually hits very close to home for me. I can't get anyone in my family to talk about my father's schizophrenia. My dad is a very private man to begin with... talking to him about his past is very difficult. I want to know who my father was and no one will tell me. When my dad dies (hopefully not soon), I will never know because it's just not something anyone wants to talk about.

I know I'm not generally active on MTF anymore... but if you'd like to talk... just send me a PM... I still check my User CP :hug:

PS Sending good thoughts your way :hug:again

theMEESH
05-04-2011, 05:40 PM
You cant feel guilty for telling your mother opinions to your uncle.
It appears your uncle believes your mother brainwashed you with those schizophrenic problems (which indeed are a very good excuse for modern problesm- schizophrenia, bipolar disorder- yeah right- too easy to put into cathegories and take away the relevance of other factors like personality and approach to the external world).

Can I ask what you mean by this? The part in the quotations?

Ilovetheblues_86
05-04-2011, 06:00 PM
Can I ask what you mean by this? The part in the quotations?


I was saying that its too easy to presume someone is schizophrenic.

But the major assumption is that schizophrenic people can be happy with it, knowing how to deal with the experience. It appears that for the uncle of sweet cleo, and for normal people that doesnt undertand whats schizo, that it is a disease purely internal. It isnt. Schizo is a disease related with a person personality and the way you deal with the world. You can be schizophrenic or even behave like a schizophrenic not having the disease, so the diagnosis is very hard and complicated I suppose.

theMEESH
05-04-2011, 06:26 PM
I was saying that its too easy to presume someone is schizophrenic.

But the major assumption is that schizophrenic people can be happy with it, knowing how to deal with the experience. It appears that for the uncle of sweet cleo, and for normal people that doesnt undertand whats schizo, that it is a disease purely internal. It isnt. Schizo is a disease related with a person personality and the way you deal with the world. You can be schizophrenic or even behave like a schizophrenic not having the disease, so the diagnosis is very hard and complicated I suppose.

Ahhh. I see. You know... I don't think I've met a person who's entirely happy with being schizophrenic. I mean.. I understand the idea of "you can live a full life, despite having schizophrenia" but (and I'm speaking for the people who go through the lifetime of episodes, not the lucky person who gets one episode in a lifetime) it must be difficult to try and resume life and pick up the pieces after you've basically thrown them everywhere. The look in my dad's eyes after he's recovered from an episode (which unlike a panic attack can last really long, without medication, of course years)... but his eyes... once he's realized the damage he's caused... speaks VOLUMES.

I honestly get so offended with how easily it seems that young adults throw mental health terms around. Especially something as severe as schizophrenia. It makes me want to chuck something at them. The quickest way for me to call them out on it is my very quick and open response of: "Oh really? I have bipolar, what meds are you taking?" Because with schizophrenia, from my experience, it's not one where you can really live a life off of medication. I think the young people who pretend they're schizophrenic should spend some time in the mental health unit. The OTHER mental health unit (basically reserved for people who are a danger to themselves AND others). It'll really open their eyes.

Bipolar is no comparison to schizophrenia and sometimes I feel really guilty when I'm having my lows and just feel like I can't function to help my family (especially my dad, who is now going through a new phase of his illness, which actually sometimes makes me wish for 'regular episode' dad back)

alfonsojose
05-04-2011, 06:42 PM
Stay calm. Don't press the panic button.

DualMedia
05-04-2011, 07:11 PM
I hope things get better for you,Cleo.

wee
05-06-2011, 06:31 AM
good luck ,dude

Seingeist
05-10-2011, 08:44 AM
i am so sorry i know you are going to find this weird and i am sorry about that but i want to talk and take it off my chest and i also need your prays

Done. Your courage to share all of this is admirable.

I understand how difficult family dynamics can be sometimes, so I am sorry to hear about this situation.

As others have said, please do not beat yourself up regarding your involvement. It sounds as though you had no ill intentions and your mistake seems innocent enough to me.

I sincerely hope that things work out well for you.

- Tom

Dmitry Verdasco
05-10-2011, 02:45 PM
Even if he does tell your mother, if she gets angry at you just tell her that you did to teach her a lesson for not answering her phone the last time Sharapova lost and you locked yourself in your closet, not knowing what you'd do next.

I prayed for you, anyway. :awww: