The Story Thread

03-25-2004, 12:05 AM
I search through this forum and didn't see any thing like a story thread so I will start one.

The rules are just continue the story from where ever the previous poster ended.
Please try to follow the flow of events.
I'll start:

On the morning before the "Pacific Life Open 2004 finals with T. Henman, Federer walked in the locker room and to his surprise he saw...

Pink Panther
03-25-2004, 01:09 AM
a mysterious brown parcel lying next to his racquet bag. Bursting with curiosity, he ripped open the package and gasped in awe...

03-25-2004, 01:13 AM
it had a canadian post mark and he thought it might be from greg rusedski but shook head and thought it cant be and proceeded to open it in a hurry and his eyebrows raised and he was surpised as he saw......

03-25-2004, 01:17 AM
that although it was postmarked from Canada it had only ended up in that vast land by a mistake of the Venezuelan mailing system and had in fact been sitting in a backroom of a Winnepeg shipping facility for 6 years before being discovered by an attentive employee. He searched for a name on the...

03-25-2004, 01:28 AM
sticker and it had T.H then roger put clues together and realised T for tim and H for Henman, he was horrifed to find a stack of videos dating back to basle 1998 and picture of tim and lucy sticking their tounge out...he decided the best thing to do was to.....

03-25-2004, 01:37 AM
cut that bastard's tongue out with the jagged metal from a recently opened can of tennis balls. But then Rogi thought a moment and decided that would not be in keeping with the placid image he had established among the tennis-watching public. So he resolved to...

03-25-2004, 01:55 AM
pummle the bastard on court ...he knew he could do this as his form had been awe inspiring all week, his target had squeezed past roddick in the quarters, what roger really wanted to do was punch him in the face and put cold spaghetti in his kit bag but he decided to proceed with the match and ignored hemans childish graffiti on the wall which said.........

Pink Panther
03-25-2004, 02:39 AM
"Get ready for some hot delicious bagels." Trying hard to erase the horrifying image off his mind, Roger threw the video tapes and photo into the locker and banged the door shut. The match was about to begin in 10 minutes. He gave himself a last minute check in the mirror and adjusted his headband, making sure the Nike Swoosh was perfectly aligned with his widow's peak. He was also careful not to leave any fraying strands hang out. Suddenly, he discovered a reflection in the mirror which alarmed him...

03-25-2004, 02:56 AM
it was paul annacone standing outside toilet cubicle he could see, roger continued ot study reflection and it was paul annocone with head in hands and roger could hear earth wind and fire coming from toilet cubicle, was tim finally shitting himself???? roger suddenly felt a warm glow, huge grin come over him, he licked his lips and made his way through he corridor.......

03-25-2004, 02:59 AM

03-25-2004, 04:16 AM
The corridor, however, turned out to be another one of Tiny Tim's tricks to discourage Roger. The corridor strongly resembled The Alice in Wonderland Maze! Oh no, it seems like Rogi was in...

03-25-2004, 05:52 AM
deep shit. However, Roger used his common practice of going into the mental state of "HappyHappyLand", and escaped without experiencing any of the horrors that manifested in Timbo's corridor. Then to his delight, he saw...

03-25-2004, 06:11 AM
frozen yoghurt! But he remembered that his old coach, Peter Lundgren, had told him not to eat any of that. Fattening it is. But what...

03-25-2004, 06:16 AM
the hell was he worrying about Peter for, anyway? He fired him over this very issue a few months ago. Roger hadn't leaked the information to the press, of course, because the public would think it was petty to fire your coach over a frozen yoghurt dispute. But they didn't understand. Roger was a yogurtaholic! He NEEDED that yogurt, the surge of fructose in his system. He grabbed a spoon and...

03-25-2004, 06:28 AM
then he saw T.H. eating the frozen yoghurt! Oh no, Roger thought. He was absolutely furious and realized that he wouldn't be beaten on the culinary level next to being beaten on the tennis court. So, Rogi decided to...

03-25-2004, 08:57 PM
call Mirka to bring the best and most prestigious kind of yoghurt she could find. Didn't matter what it tasted like, as long as it looked better and more expensive than Tim's yoghurt! Fortunately Mirka arrived soon with the frozen yoghurt. Roger could finally show he wasn't to be messed around with. But just when he was about to yell "Hey Tim, tastes good, this yoghurt!" to get T.H's attention, ...

Pink Panther
03-25-2004, 10:00 PM
his stomach churned loudly. Roger immediately doubled over and looked at Mirka helplessly. "Who poisoned my yoghurt???" With a proud grin on his face, Tim walked up to him and said...

03-25-2004, 10:17 PM
"Who do you think? I held this little tropical poison frog over your little treat there and squeezed the frogger dry. Too bad the antidote is stashed in Andre Agassi's raquet bag, and you beat him yesterday! He's on his way home! Ha ha ha! HA HA HA HAAAAAA!" And Roger looked Tim right in eyes and said...

03-25-2004, 10:41 PM
"Goran Ivanisevic...semi finals...wimbledon 2001" ....Tim usually consistent complexion immediately came over firey red as smoke clouds prefusely came from his oxfordshire based ears ...roger started to feel better after witnessing the effect of his harsh words...

a cuban 6ft 3, 20 stone man with sunglasses who's identity nobody knew stepped forward and said "there is only one way to settle this " and opened a door behind roger, the room was dark as both players stepped in ...but as the cuban switched on the light their faces came over in total amazement as they saw.......

03-25-2004, 11:46 PM
No other but their arch-enemy Lleyton Hewitt!!!! :eek:
Both Roger and Tim started shaking so badly they had to send for the tour trainer and then requested that both guys...

03-26-2004, 06:42 AM
were erased like Anna Kournikova's nudity from the computer. But, not knowing that Lleyton Hewitt had everything backed up, Roger and Tim appeared to be helpless and had nothing else to do but to help each other. This awkward doubles combination ended up...

03-28-2004, 12:34 AM
dressing up in leather trousers, open white shirts and having a Bee Gee kareoke competition, Roger was going great with his "stayin alive" untill tim stepped up with a great cover version of "how deep is your love".......suddenly a match official walked in pointing at his watch saying the match was due to start in 15 minutes but mysteriously all the balls had been stolen, as both players went to fetch their racket bags... these had also gone missing, no rackets?? no balls?? Tim came up with an idea that they could still go on court but would have to use.........

03-31-2004, 05:18 PM
their microphone to give the audience a "Bee Gees Revival Night".. They both agreed that Rainer Schüttler could well be Barbra Streisand in the duet "Guilty". But, since Tim had surprisingly beaten Rainer two days ago with Tic Tac Toe, they didn't expect that...

03-31-2004, 10:36 PM
he would not be around to reprise his famous rendition, so Rogi and Tim had to scramble at the last minute to find a suitable blond replacement. As they scurried around in their tight, revealing outfits, the perfect person miraculously appeared in the entrance --

03-31-2004, 10:45 PM
It was GeorgeWhitler but of course the appearance fee would be too demanding so they had a rethink, Jason Donavan seemed obvious had dried up and blonde although balding he leapt at oppurtunity and not only did bee gee renditions but did some of his old stuff like "too many broken hearts" ...the crowd were clapping, singing along and excited UNTILL......somebody switched out the lights and cut the power, they walked cooly onto the was no other than >>>>>>

04-02-2004, 04:18 AM
the Thai ambassador of Kiribati! He had just put down his cocktail on the tropical island, taken the plane to the concert and then felt like...

Mrs. B
04-02-2004, 06:39 AM
listening to some Stones music and got fed up with the Beegees stuff that he's heard so much from his teenage days back in Bangkok that he asked Paradorn with his Buddhist monks entourage to sabotage the event! Then from out of nowhere, carrying a torch, walked in Keith Richards, wearing black leather pants, cigarette dangling from his mouth, his Stratocaster strapped to his back, followed by another torch bearing fellow with silver hair...wait a minute, it's not Charlie Watts, it's..John McEnroe!

04-04-2004, 07:50 AM
McEnroe, known for his musical qualities on court and off court, was accompanied by Yannick Noah. Wow, this was going to be one heck of a concert! After two minutes of great rock and roll songs, a group of five top 100 players made their way through the crowd, carrying buckets full of rotten eggs and tomatoes. Oh no, this...

04-04-2004, 05:55 PM
was too hilarious! Guille, pelting JMac with the juicy tomatoes said that this was almost as good as being at a River Plate match, while Juanqui held his nose while smacking rotten eggs at Yannick.

Finally the oldsters were forced off the stage, practically electrocuting themselves as the crowd...

04-04-2004, 06:34 PM
got more drunk and disorderly, was very pleased there was no tennis as their updates are usually a couple of hours slow, this was not a tennis match it was a full scale food fight with the crowd supplying the food for the players to throw.

finally a winner was announced and for a change fed had beaten henman, his consistent hits over the net with sausage rolls and custard tarts had finally undone the British number 1.

after his winning speach fed looked startled as he wasnt presented with a trophy, instead he was given........

Mrs. B
04-04-2004, 08:13 PM
another cow who kept dropping dung on the already messy court. But as soon as it saw Roger's red tshirt,

04-04-2004, 11:28 PM
...the bovine creature realized that respect was in order and immediately had the smelly pile cleaned up and a wreath of fragrant blooms placed around its neck.

The crowd erupted in applause, delighted at the sight. Roger then began his speech, overcome with laughter. "Firstly, I would like to...

04-06-2004, 09:25 PM
... ask if it's possible for me to go to the toilet first?" Roger looked around if the crowd approved, but even while all of them had looked delighted the second before, they didn't like the fact that Roger wasn't gonna thank anyone... The delight had been replaced by anger. "Speech, speech, speech" the crowd demanded. "Or else we'll throw what's left of the eggs and tomatoes at you!" somebody yelled. "But euhm.. I really really have to go", Roger begged. He didn't even finish the sentence or the first egg came flying in his direction. Poor Roger tried to hide behind the cow, but knew he really had to go to the toilet if he didn't want to make a total fool out of himself by wetting himself right then and there! He waited for the right moment and while the crowd was still yelling "speech, speech" and throwing dirty stuff his way, he made a run for the exit. Just as Roger thought he was gonna make it to the exit as safe as possible, ...