Locker Room Confrontations! [Archive] -

Locker Room Confrontations!

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08-08-2002, 10:14 PM
This is the one Marie and I did back in April? I think :o Long time a go here it is: KEEP IN MIND THIS WAS CREATED BEFORE we found out Lucy Henman was pregnant :o

Lleyton: Tim, Tim, Tim.... hasn't anyone told you that you are a complete shitbag and stop cheaking out my arse.... I ain't got no blue shorts and your shit at doubles and u ain't gonna win Wimbly m8 C'MON HENMAN....... Too shit scared to fight back huh

Tim: BUT I LIKE YOUR ARSE, and not only will I win Wimby I will win RG too!

Lleyton breaks out in laughter

Lleyton: You are taking the piss right?! God how much have the BBC paid you to say all this shit?! £1 million £2 million? Go and have someone else's arse like your bitch Lucy, Mines taken... like you would of had it anyway.....

Tim: Lucy won't put out... and sides who is it taken by? Kim? I don't think she cares she seems to fansy your friend Hayden more.

LLeyton is now filled with rage...

Lleyton: OMG! FUCK YOU!!! You are soo jelous Timmy boy... just cos u ain't getting no satisfaction from your missus.... or that old bag Sue "tme and timmy are in lurvveee" Barker and accually Kim gave me head on last nite so u can fuck right off u wanker

Tim: gave you head picturing you were Hayden, or better yet Jason

Lleyton: Yeah Yeah.. Kimmie told me she loves me NOT Hayden...ME!!!! Just give it up Henboy... your nothing but a sad old lonley toffee nosed tosser who's just jelous cos I got what you havent got M8!

*Hayden walks in*

Hayden: Good day m8s!

Chickenboy: O ball of piss I think Hayden will have somethin to say about kimmy!

both look at Hayden...

Lleyton: Alright m888888!!! That tim bull shitter has being sayin' shit bout u and Kimmie.. what a wank!

*Hayden has an uncomfortable look*

Hayden: M8 his a wanker thats all, sides kimmy and I haven't done anything since.....I MEAN EVER!!!

Lleyton: Ah cool.. thats a beauty m8.. good u and Kimmie ain't got up to nothing... U know that Kimmie means the world to me.... in fact look at what I brought her today....
*Gets a box out of his pocket nd opens int to reveal a rather large diamond ring*
Lleyton: Pretty Bling Bling dontcha think Hayd?!

*Hayden bites his lip*

Hayden: O yeah its a beaut but you might want to wait till you guys get to know each other more, or atleast while I'm on my gap year

Tim: I dun think thats a good idea for you 2 getting married... before we got married Lucy use to want me so badly each night...and now...I get nothing...

Hayden and Lleyton both *roll eyes*

Lleyton: Henman, who said u were in this convo so shut up ok! Hayden m8, me and Kim have know eachother for u know, ages, remember before no chick would even look at me... she's the one.. I think we know eachother pretty well.... why till after that gap year m8? something u ain't telling me!

*Hayden looks rather nervous, Kim walks in*

Kim: Hey lleyton hunni *gives him a little kiss* Hiya Hayden ;)

Tim starts feeling insignificant

Lleyton: Hi Kimmie *hides the ring* where do you want to go out today?

Kim: O I don't know you decide

Hayden: Ah yes actually you guys I have a gift for you! I have concert tickets ! they are in my room... Kimmie you want to come with me and get them?

Kim: Yeah Hay.....

*Lleyton butts in*

Lleyton: Hayden, whydon't we go and collect the concert tickets cos I need to get something frm my room so....

Hayden: But....

Lleyton: C'mon Hayden! Lets go otherwise me and Kim won't be going anywhere and You know..I wanna make this date special

*Hayden and Lleyton both walk out while Kimmie is left alone with Henman*

Kim: Hi Tim, hows it going? your neck feeling better?

Tim: yes actually... whats with you and Hayden?

Kim: what do you mean?

Tim: I mean when me and Lleyton played against eachother at the IW final, u2 were looking pretty cosy....

Kim: Ugh! Shut up! I was being F.R.I.E.N.D.L.Y duh! I mean I am the nicest girl on the tour and stuff

Tim: But what about the other day......

Kim: Look I was joking around! Me and Hayden got a bit tipsy... promise you won't say anything to Lleyton...please?! *flutters eyelids*

Tim: Awwww how can I resist that cute look... I won't tell if u.....

Kim: Ewwwww nooo!!! Anyway, I've heard your in the small department so I think I'll pass!

*Meanwhile Lleyton and Hayden are walking to Hayden's room*

Lleyton: So why don't you want me to ask her yet?

Hayden: O you know I just want to spend more time with you guys, you are such great friends to me...and I just couldn't bare to see Kim....and you getting heartbroken...yes

Lleyton: heartbroken? why?

Hayden: O you know...drinking....

Lleyton: WHAT???... there something you aren't telling me about Kimmie?

Hayden: Look Lleyton.... I dunno how to say this... but please don't be mad with Kim.....

Lleyton: Just fucking tell me Hayden

Hayden: Ok Ok, well the other day, when you were off down the pratice courts with Jason....Kimmie was looking kinda sad cos of her injury and stuff

Lleyton: yeah cut the crap and get onto the story buddy!

Hayden: Well I asked her if she wanted to get trashed and she said yea, so we went intomy room, drank pratically everything in the mini bar so we were pretty drunk


Hayden: errr no.... We told eachother we loved eachother and we kissed.... but cos we left the door open someone saw us, dunno who but I think it's better if it came from me so that u get the truth

Lleyton: You fucking bastard....*Punches his fist* C'mon!!

*Kimmy and Tim hear screams of C'mon and both run to see Lleyton beating the living crap out of Hayden*


*both stop*


Kim: Lleyton I'm sorry Hayden doesn't mean anything to me, it was just a mistake, you know that I love you very much *acts cute*!

Lleyton: Agrahh!!! Tim you can fuck off for starters..don't want you selling this to the BBC so that I get slated when it comes to Wimbledon! Kim......U know I love you too.... please don't dump me for Hayden... look I'll do anything.. please just don't leave me

Kim: Awwwwww Lleyton hunni.... I love you sooooo much too.... regret getting drunk with Hayden... I don't love him.... it was the alchohol ok!

Hayden: No Kim No!!! But I love you!!!!

Tim: Look guys, Kim and Lleyton want eachother.... Hayden.. you got any blue shorts? I bet you have a nice tight arse

*everyone looks at henman*



Lleyton: Ok thats it *pumps fist and screams c'mon*

*Kim runs in between the two*

08-08-2002, 10:18 PM
Oh God! :o :o :p :p ;)

Alright m888888!!!
How townieish does Lleyton sound there! :o :p

08-08-2002, 10:19 PM
LoL that's not all we have more lol :o

08-08-2002, 10:20 PM
Pff @ you making LL sound like a townie :o I remeber that lol!

08-08-2002, 10:21 PM
post it please

08-08-2002, 10:26 PM

*Hayden punches Lleyton in the face and Lleyton falls to the floor*

Kim: LLEYTONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awww babe c'mon, off the floor! (Screaming) Look what you've done Hayden!!!!!!

Tim: (To Hayden) You got me baby.... let me look at that eye of yours.....

Hayden: Get of me Tim!! Kim! No! please! don't go off with Lleyton! He was such a geek at school, u don't want a geek you want a me!

Lleyton: Fuck off! Hands off her! Shes mine!

Kim: C'mon Lleyton we are leaving right this minute! I don't EVER want to talk to you again Hayden!

A few hours pass, Hayden is being comforted by Tim in his room, Kim and Lleyton get ready for their date..... Meanwhile Lleyton is waiting for Kim down at the lobby

Lleyton: (Looking at watch) C'mon Kimmie hurry!!!!

*Lleyton puts his head up and sees Kim looking gorgeous walking towards him*

Lleyton: Kimmie about today...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have over reacted.

Kim: Awww thats ok

Lleyton: C'mon lets go or else we gonna be late


Hayden: Kim! Kim! Look Im not stopping you going on this date but just don't say the words "Yes I will" ok..?!

Tim: Accually do!! C'mon Hayden lets go play chess!!!

Lleyton: Yeah you go take Hayden and while your at it, shoot the guy! Look Hayden...Kim chose me, like she i going to listen to you ok?!

Kim: C'mon Lleyton...Lets go...I don't even want to look at Hayden's face no more

Hayden: But Kim......!!!!

*kim looks at Hayden, but turns away and walks out with Lleyton. Hayden breaks downs and cries... Henman conforts him..*

Hayden: Its like Its like I thought she liked me??? The first time I saw her I wanted her...and then yesterday I thought that if I could get her trashed she would like me...but she chose that RUNT....UGH...what does he have that I don't?

Tim: Blue shorts But I can get you some if you want

Hayden: EWWWWWWwwwwww god

Tim: You know you want it baby

*meanwhile Kim and Lleyton are on their date*

On the date....

Kim: Lleyton where are you taking me?!

Lleyton: It's a suprise but you'll love it!!!

They walk about for 15 minutes untill Lleyton takes her onto the beach where he has laid a little picnic under a palm tree....

Kim: Awwwwww Lleyton this is so beautiful.... I don't deserve this... I've been such a bitch to you....

Lleyton: No worries Kim, U havent, it's that Hayden thats done wrong... Only the best for my fave Belgian diamond

Kim: (goes all cute on him, Hewitt smiles sweetly) Awww this is so beautiful.... But why have you gone to all this trouble?!

Lleyton: Kim ummm there's something I have to ask you...

Kim: Yes?

Lleyton: Kim will you marry me *pulls out the ring*

Kim: (in total shock) OMG! *with tears running down both Lleyton and Kim's faces* Of course I will!!!!!!

Lleyton: *Puts ring onto Kim's finger* Awwww that looks so perfect, you are perfect...

Kim: *blushes* I love you Lleyton

Suddenly two people come up behind the newly engaged couple

Mrs Hewitt: Hi guys! We've come to stay with you!!! We cant be leaving you two on your own!!!

Mr Hewitt: Come on guys, lets go back to the hotel! It's far too late to be out here at your age!!


Mr Hewitt: We haven't raised you for 21 years so you can talk back like that!

Mrs Hewitt: Thats it Lleyton your grounded, You can't go out for a week

Lleyton: MOM!!! I just asked Kimmy THE bloody questions DAMN IT CAN I HAVE SOME PRIVACY HERE!

Mrs Hewitt: O? our Lleyton is getting married awww thats great!
but your still grounded!

*both mr and mrs hewitt leave*

Lleyton: BLOODY HELL! I'm sorry Kimmy!

Kim: know...ummm thinkin about it...maybe we should wait untill you move out???

Lleyton: Yeah I think we should....!!!

Kim: Wow! our first house together!!!! Australia or Belgium tho?

Lleyton: Both! I mean wern't exactly poor... only the best for my Kimmie!!!

*A month later...Kim and Lleyton are househunting in Australia......*

Kim: I thought you said we are going to get houses in both Belgium and Australia???

Lleyton: Well you see??? ummm that stupid Henman and his inability to play actual tennis in doubles.....and bloody hell Haydne wasted soo much of my money...bastard couldn't buy his own damn plane ticket....GOD DAMN IT!

Kim: Erm what did you do with my money?


Kim: right...O this house looks gorgeous, you think we'll be able to afford it?

Lleyton: ......erm.....I dun think so


Lleyton: Look Kimmie, we can get the house!!! We just need someone stupid enough to lend us money which we will not need to pay back....

Kim: Who's gonna be that stupid and desperate?! Oh No!!!

Lleyton: Oh C'mon!!! He's got a few bob in the bank! It's not like he's gonna be living with us......

Kim: Yeah I guess so.... Look Lleyton if we get this house, we will be needing a nurcery...

Lleyton: Eh?! Why?!

Kim: Shit... ermm nothing!!

Lleyton: Kim.... tell me.... OMG!

Kim: Yep, and don't's yours!!!!!

08-08-2002, 10:32 PM
Oh ROTFLMAO @ Hayden breaks down and cries :o Hayden darling be more of a man :o :p

08-09-2002, 07:32 AM
LMAO!! We should do more of these!!11 They are soo goooood!! Lets do more!!

08-09-2002, 06:47 PM
Wow I love this thread :D

08-10-2002, 02:39 PM
All the creative people ( aka everybody but me ) should continue this story... or start a new one :D :p

08-10-2002, 09:18 PM
Kim has just arrived in Rosmalen where she and Lleyton are trying to spend some Quality time alone...........

Lleyton:Aw Kimmy, I'm so happy we're both in Rossie, I really missed you over these last weeks

Kimmy: Aww that's so sweet Lley Lley I've missed you too.....

Lleyton and Kim go in to kiss one another when Jelena Dokic arrives........

Jelena: Hi Kimmy!

Kim:Oh hey Jelly

Lleyton looking pissed off mumbles

Lleyton:Oh great it's the Aussie, I mean Yugoslav, I mean Brit.....

Kim nudges him in the back

Jelena: Very funny Lleyton, see me laughing you're just soooo hillarious it must be the Aussie Charm :rolleyes:

Lleyton Scowls

Kim:So what's up then Jelly,

Jelena: Oh I was just wondering whether you wanted to play doubles tommorow

Kim:I'd love to.......

Lleyton:What the fuck!! I haven't seen my girlfriend for weeks and you already wanna rob me of my time with her....Why don't you just do one rankings thief...

Jelena:How dare you.......I earned that ranking.......

Lleyton:Like fuck you did everyone knows that my Kimmy is superior to you Doughnut girl.....If you're teling me you deserve that Ranking then Justine Henin's boobs are the biggest in the WTA!

Jelena:You know you're a complete ass Lleyton, how can you go out with this piece of dirt Kimmy

Lleyton:That's not what you were saying when you tried to shove your tongue down my throat in the lobby last night!

Kim:What the hell.....



08-10-2002, 10:00 PM
Jelena: I was drunk! I must've been! Otherwise, what would I be doing trying to kiss that asshole?

Kim: Jelena, you're not helping yourself by calling my boyfriend an asshole.

Jelena: Well, I can only tell the truth, Kimmy, and the truth is you're dating a jerk.

*Kim is starting to get annoyed. She looks back and forth from Lleyton to Jelena.*

Kim: All right, I want to know EXACTLY what happened.

Lleyton: I was downstairs in the hotel lobby, waiting for Jason to come down so we could go to dinner, when this tosser showed up and started hitting on me!

Jelena: Kim, that's not true at all! Who are you going to belive--me, your friend and doubles partner since juniors, or this screaming, hyperactive bag of crap?

Kim: Gee, what a hard decision. See you later, Jelly.

*She and Lleyton begin to walk about, but don't get very far before Kim turns around.*

Kim: And just for the record, you'd be nowhere near my ranking if I wasn't hurt. Next year, it's mine, and your doughnut-eating ass is going down in flames!

*Jelena is speechless. She runs off to find her father.*

Lleyton: Sorry about that, baby.

Kim: *sigh* It's not your fault. *grins* You can't help it that you're irresistible to the opposite sex.

Lleyton: I wouldn't say that. *blushes* Just as long as I'm irresistible to you.

Kim: No problems there.

Lleyton: Right then. How about you and I head up to the room, and I give you a proper welcoming?

Kim: I thought you'd never ask.

*Lleyton and Kim get into the elevator and go into their room. Unbeknownst to our favorite couple, a drunk and angry Damir Dokic is heading right for them*


08-10-2002, 10:05 PM
Ooooooooohhh the wilderbeast is on the rampage :p

08-10-2002, 10:32 PM
really good

08-10-2002, 10:35 PM
Lleyton and Kim are canoodling in the elevator as the elevator door opens.
They begin to walk down the hall when the hear a rumbling noise


Kim:What was that

Lleyton:I dunno.........shhhhhh


Lleyton:Strike me roan what the hell is that

Kim: Lleyton……I’m scared

Lleyton puts his arm around Kim

A big,dark gloomy shadow ermerges over Lleyton and Kim, Both look up


Lleyton: The wilderbeast......

A drunken Damir Dokic stumbles in front of them with an empty Vodka bottle in his hand. He slurrs his words

Damir: *hic* Which one of you is……..*hic* Lleyton Hewitt

Lleyton: Are you as idiotic as your pathetic daughter....*Cough* are you blind, dumb and STUPID that would be m….

Kim:Me! I’m Lleyton!

Lleyton and Damir:WHAT!

Kim whispers to Lleyton

Kim:Play along babe, yeah I’m Lleyton Hewitt, mate, yeah C’monnnnnn!!!

Lleyton Whispers to Kim

Lleyton:I so do NOT sound like that!

Kim sniggers

Damir:I hear you took advantage of my *hic* daughter

Kim;Yeah about that Damir, I dunno if you realised but your daughter is a skanky, nasty, cheap little rankings thief and I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole.......yeah......erm.....C’mon!

Kim clenches her fist as Lleyton slaps his forehead in dispair

Damir:You, you, how dare you talk about my Jelena like that I kill you with one look, I beat you so hard that you....... *thump*

A drunken Damir fals to the floor

Kim looks triumphant

Kim: A job well done I must say

Lleyton shakes his head and laughs

Lleyton:You’re really something Kimmy…..Now it’s REALLY time for my.erm..SUPRISE for you...

Kim: C’MON!!!! ;)

08-10-2002, 10:42 PM
it's getting better and better!!!!!!!!

08-10-2002, 10:49 PM
this izz funny guys

nice story's

keep it up goin'

08-11-2002, 02:15 AM

I'll continue in a bit.

08-11-2002, 03:22 AM
well done cills thats heaps good!!

08-11-2002, 04:49 AM
Poor Jelly but it's funny as hell, thnx for posting :)

08-11-2002, 02:55 PM
Marly :mad: I thought you were gonna add on :p

08-11-2002, 03:23 PM
:D :D :D this story rocks , keep working on it , i'm studying so i really can use a funny story to laugh with ;)

08-11-2002, 07:16 PM
:mad: Angele, I AM gonna add on! But you'll have to wait until after Lleyton's match. :p Patience is a virtue! :o

08-12-2002, 01:31 AM
I've being patient enough Marly :p ADD!

08-12-2002, 02:23 PM
Pff fine. :p

*Lleyton unlocks the door to his hotel room, and he and Kim go inside*

Kim: Let me call room service first. I feel bad about just leaving Damir lying passed out in the middle of the hallway. And he smells.

*While Kim dials the phone, there is a knock at the door. Lleyton opens it.*

Lleyton: Oh God, what do YOU want?

Tim: You know what I want, Lleyton.

Lleyton: Go away, you bleedin' minger! *He slams the door in Henman's face and locks it.* Ugh.

*Kim hangs up the phone.*

Kim: Was that who I think it was, sweetie?

Lleyton: Yes. The idiot just can't seem to take a hint! *He sits down on the bed next to Kim.*

Kim: I feel sorry for his wife. Do you think she knows?

Lleyton: *snorts* I don't feel sorry for her. She's the one that married the tosser in the first place!

Kim: That's true........Now what's this surprise you were telling me about?

Lleyton: Before we get to that, I've got to teach you how to imitate me properly. *Makes a fist* C'MON!

Kim: Okay, okay. Like this? *Makes a fist* Come on!

Lleyton: No no no. Make come on one word, not two. C'MON!

Kim: C'mon!

Lleyton: Better. We've still got some work to do, though.

Kim: Forget it. I'm the nice one, remember?

Lleyton: That's because no one else knows you the way I know you, Kimmy. ;)

Kim: Of course not. You're the only one for me.

*They start to kiss. All of a sudden, there's a loud thump in the hallway outside their room, followed by a scream.*


08-12-2002, 03:09 PM
Go on marly and cilla, you do a really good job

08-12-2002, 05:08 PM
LOL it's getting hot in there :D :D :D

08-12-2002, 08:25 PM
Angele, we need to play game again tonight! Spread the word! :bounce:

08-12-2002, 08:39 PM
Great Marly!

08-13-2002, 03:11 AM
BBB......wake up and post! :bounce: Otherwise I'll have Angele after me first thing in the morning. :p

08-13-2002, 05:40 AM
Lleyton and Kim pull away from each other Lleyton moans

Lleyton: Bloody ell what's wrong now!

Kim gets up

Lleyton:Where are you going

Kim:To see what's up now


Kim:Lleyton you know I'm the nicest girl on the WTA Tour and it's my duty (Flashes him a smile)

Lleyton:Pfffff Fine you better not be long!

Kim opens the door and goes down the corridor. Jennifer Capriati is lying on the floor cluching her face.

Jennifer:MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!!!!

Kim:Jen what's wrong??

Jen:It's her.....that thing...The Predator

Serena stands over Jenn.

Serena:I didn't do NOTHING

Jen:She deliberately attacked me with her Oversized Novelty Boobs

Serena:That's a lie

Pause *Friends Theme Tune* ;)

Kim pulls Jenn up.

Please can you just sort this crap out NOW!! Some people have to go and have some Se......*cough* Get some Sleep!

Serena & Jen:Fine

Kim:Good Now please GET LOST.

Meanwhile back in the hotel room Kim's mobile rings, Lleyton wonders whether to answer it. He looks for the phone in her bag and picks it up a familiar name flashes across the screen his face changes.....He hears Kim's footsteps,cancels the call and stuffs the phone back in her bag. Kim opens the door

(Voices in the Distance)


Serena:Pancake Chest

Jen:Fake horse hair weave

Serena:Trout Lips.........

Kim laughs

Kim:Those two are crazy

Lleyton looks preoccupied


Kim:Serena and Jenn!

Lleyton:Oh, yeah, right

Kim:Are you ok babe

Lleyton:Yeah, yeah champion

Kim:By the way did I hear my phone

Lleyton:Phone, no, no phone........

Kim:Oh must be my ears then, so where were we.....

Kim hugs Lleyton, Lleyton has an uneasy look on his face. Who was the Phone Call from??...........

08-13-2002, 06:04 AM
Ooo Cilla suspense :D I like I like can you continue I can't wait to find out who it is :p

08-13-2002, 06:10 AM
Pfffff Itz Marly's turn now :p

08-13-2002, 06:12 AM
This is turning in to the BB thread, can't wait till the next one now :o

08-13-2002, 06:13 AM
:eek: That's it? Oh my god, Cilla you cannot do this. The suspense is killing me. Get to it. Who's the bloody call from?

08-13-2002, 07:21 AM

08-13-2002, 08:32 AM
PRISCILLA!! Hurry up and finish!! My bet one the phone call is .... Hayden!! :p:p

08-13-2002, 11:25 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly
BBB......wake up and post! :bounce: Otherwise I'll have Angele after me first thing in the morning. :p

Well Cilla posted and I'm still after you first thing in the morning :p

08-13-2002, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by angele87

Well Cilla posted and I'm still after you first thing in the morning :p

:o No rest for the weary. :p

Lleyton: Uhm....

Kim: Lleyton, what's wrong? Seriously. You're acting strange.

Lleyton: Am I? Sorry babe, I don't mean to. It's just--

*someone knocks on the door.*

Kim: Oh, for heaven's sake. *looks at Lleyton.* Hold that thought.

*Kim gets up and opens the door.*

Justine: For sure, I don't know why you thought you could treat Jelena the way you did.

Kim: What?? You don't even LIKE Jelena. What are you talking about Justine?

Justine: Jelena, she told me everything. You think just because you have the famous father and the famous boyfriend that you can walk over people. I am here to tell you that you can't!

Kim: You're insane, you know that?

*In the bedroom, Lleyton picks up Kim's cell phone and pressed redial. The person on the other end picks up.*

Lleyton: What the bloody hell are you doing calling this number, mate? Don't EVER do it again!

*He hangs up and puts the phone back into Kim's bag. Meanwhile, Justine is continuing her tirade.*

Justine: --just because you're blond AND have blue eyes that you're better than me!

Kim: Justine--

Justine: And for sure, the fact that you actually have breasts adds to your condescending attitude!

*Kim's patience is being sorely tried.*

Kim: Justine, when have I been condescending to you?

Justine:......If I have to tell you when, then you don't know!

Kim: ......Exactly.

Justine: For sure, that is just another sign that you think you are superior to me!

Kim: No, it's a sign that I don't know what in the bloody hell you're talking about.

Justine: I am the best Belgian, not you. Before the year is out, I will reign supreme as the Sportswoman of the Year! Mwhahahahaha!

*Justine runs off down the hallway, cackling madly. Too madly, in fact, because she fails to watch where she's going and runs face-first into Serena's Oversized Novelty Boobs.*

Kim: *looking upwards* Give me strength. *She shuts the door and turns around to face Lleyton, who is sitting on the bed, looking a bit awkward.* Now, where were we?

Lleyton: Why don't you come over here and I'll show you?

*Kim walks toward the bed when suddenly, her mobile phone begins to ring. As she moves to answer it, she sees the stricken look on Lleyton's face.*

Who's on the phone? What will Lleyton's explaination to Kim be if it's the mysterious caller from earlier? And what will Kim do?.....

08-13-2002, 02:00 PM
Really really good!!!
Go on!!!!

08-13-2002, 02:56 PM
LOL go on please , this is really good
angry juju cause she has no boobs :D :D :D great stuff

08-13-2002, 03:14 PM
Pffffff you deliberately weaseled outta it & left me with a harder job! Pffff @ not saying who the caller was pfffff :p

08-13-2002, 03:18 PM
Originally posted by Lleyton's_Chick
Pffffff you deliberately weaseled outta it & left me with a harder job! Pffff @ not saying who the caller was pfffff :p

You picked up on that, did you? :o :p

08-13-2002, 03:19 PM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly

You picked up on that, did you? :o :p

Cow :rolleyes: :p Unless someone else wants to do it there will be NO adding 2nite I have to think long and hard about this one..thanx BBB :rolleyes: :o

08-13-2002, 03:22 PM
NO ADDING TONIGHT :eek: :eek: :eek: NOOOOOOO!!!!!

*breaks down into fits of uncontrolable tears*

08-13-2002, 03:23 PM
Biatch. :p

And look what you've done to poor little Angele! :p

08-13-2002, 03:25 PM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly
Biatch. :p

And look what you've done to poor little Angele! :p

Only got urself to blame Smartass! :p

08-13-2002, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by Lleyton's_Chick

Only got urself to blame Smartass! :p

Oh please, you stupid ho. :rolleyes: Who's the one who's refusing to add anything on tonight? YOU! :p

08-13-2002, 03:32 PM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly

Oh please, you stupid ho. :rolleyes: Who's the one who's refusing to add anything on tonight? YOU! :p

Oh no u didn't *waves finger Ricki Lake Style* I have an idea though now.......But I still won't post it 2nite :p I'd be more than happy for someone else to step in........

08-13-2002, 03:43 PM
LOL @ the Ricki Lake thing. :p

Oooooh, Angele is NOT gonna be happy with you, dude. :o :p And she won't step in and help, because she says she's not creative. :rolleyes: I think she's just plain lazy. :p

08-13-2002, 04:43 PM
Post it pls!!!!!!!!!

08-13-2002, 08:34 PM
(This is gonna be a bit long-I got a bit carried away & itz sooooo crap :o!)

Kim looks puzzled by Lleyton's expression, regardless Kim picks up the phone

Kim: Hello?

Lleyton looks at Kim intently as Kim’s face changes

Kim: Erm….Hi….This is not really a good ti……Now…I don’t think...

Kim looks at Lleyton

Kim: I told you not to call me here…….I’ll call you back

Kim cuts off the phone call though she still holds the phone tightly in her hand. She slowly turns round to look at Lleyton.

Lleyton: So…who was that then

Kim: Erm…..No-one Important don’t worry about it

Lleyton: I’m not worrying about it I just asked you who it was, there’s no need to get defensive on me

Kim:Who’s getting defensive you’re the one who wants to make more of it than it is

Lleyton: So you’re telling me that you won’t tell your own boyfriend who called you

Kim:When you get like this I can’t even talk to you

Lleyton:Why are you lying to me??? I KNOW who called you because HE called while you were outside!

Kim:What, so my phone did ring, you lied to me… dare…..

Lleyton: You’re talking about liars! How long has been calling you......tell me Kimmy, the truth this time

Kim: Fine! You really wanna know.....Well it started last week he just called me up and he asked me and first I said No and I thought that would be the end of it, but the calls kept coming he just kept calling and calling and asking me “Please Kim, Please” I didn’t know what to do so I eventually said yes and gave into him.

Lleyton has a look of rage in his eyes

Lleyton: That’s it he’s a fucking dead man

Lleyton gets up and storms out of the hotel room. Kim is stunned

Kim:Where are you going, LLEYTON!!!

Kim screams after him. Lleyton runs down the corridor.

Lleyton bangs on the door of a hotel room

Lleyton: C’MON! Fucking come out you asshole I know you’re in there!

The hotel room slowly opens and Lleyton swings his fist and knocks someone down

Kim: Lleyton! What have you done?

Lleyton: Take that you fucking Perv…Roddick!!

Andy Roddick falls to the ground dramatically legs flailing all over the place like Bambi :rolleyes:

Andy:What the hell…..

Lleyton:You think you try and perv onto my Kimmy!

Kim and Andy: WHAT!!

Lleyton looks puzzled

Kim and Andy :What are you talking about??

Lleyton:This sleazoid trying to crack onto you

Kim and Andy look at each other and burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter…….

Lleyton:I don’t see what’s so fucking funny

Andy and Kim trying to compose themselves

Andy: Lleyton, I think Kim is safe she’s not exactly my “Type” No Offence Kim

Kim: None taken :angel:

Kim: Andy wanted my help to organise a 6-month anniversary surprise party for Jan Michael. He wanted help to pick out a present and stuff like that.

Andy: Yeah, I’m not good with that kinda stuff that’s always been Jan-Micheal’s department! And after all I needed a Feminine touch

Lleyton:Another one!

Kim stares at him, though half trying not to laugh. Lleyton turns a shade of crimson.

Kim: I didn't ell you as Andy didn't want anyone to know. Then you made your own conclusions. And by the way, you’re turning red I think you realise what a complete asshole you’ve been.

Lleyton: What can I say……I’m sorry Pandy, I got carried away……..and I’m sorry too Kimmy for flying off the handle

Andy motions his approval of the apology with a limp wrist :o

Kim: Well, you’ll have to make it up to me

Lleyton: Oh I’m sure I can manage that……..

Kim: Oh really...ok....

They lean in to kiss when Andy Chimes in

Andy: Awwww you’re so sweet you kinda remind me of when Jan-Micheal and I started out

Lleyton and Kim turn to face him then face each other and burst into laugher

Andy: What!!


08-13-2002, 08:48 PM
Really good Cilla!!!
Great job!!

08-13-2002, 09:15 PM
LOL.. thanks Cilla :kiss: And I'm not too lazy I'm just not creative... I'd totally ruin your story!

08-13-2002, 09:46 PM
Lleyton: Well, mate, I guess that's about it. *He bends down and pulls Andy to his feet.* Sorry about the misunderstanding.

Andy: Don't worry about it. Just keep it on the down-low, okay? :o

Lleyton: Of course, whatever you say.

*Lleyton and Kim leave Andy's room and start back off down the hallway towards theirs. Kim seems slightly annoyed.*

Lleyton: Kimmy....are you mad at me?

Kim: No, of course not. You just acted like a complete ass and embarrassed all three of us, but no, I'm not mad. :rolleyes:

Lleyton: I'm sorry! I just flipped out when I thought you might be seeing someone behind my back.

Kim: You know I'd never do anything like that.

Lleyton: Yeah, I know, it's just that I love you so much that sometimes I get scared. I don't know what I'd do without you, Kimsy.

Kim: Well, you won't have to worry about that for another 60 years or so. You're the only guy for me.

*Oblivious to their surroundings, Lleyton and Kim start kissing in the hallway. A few seconds into their embrace, a female voice interrupts things, calling Lleyton's name.*

Lleyton: Who the hell--you!

*Martina Hingis is standing in the hallway, shooting Lleyton seductive looks.*

Martina: I've been looking all over for you, Lleyton.

Lleyton: For me? Why?

Martina: You're the only man in the ATP that I would ever consider dating. It's time for you to dump Kim and move on to bigger and better things--namely, me!

*Kim steps out of Lleyton's embrace and begins to advance on Martina.*

Kim: You don't even want to go there, Hingis.

*Under Kim's furious gaze, Martina's self-confidence seems to melt. She begins to backpeddle away as quickly as her injured ankle will let her. Several yards down the hallway, she stops.*

Martina: Lleyton--call me. ;)

*Kim takes a threatening step towards Martina, who scurries away. Unfortunately, she trips over the prone bodies of Jennifer and Serena, who have beaten each other senseless.*

Lleyton: Forget it, babe. She's dreaming. What do you say we go back to the room and finally get around to doing what we've been meaning to do?

Kim: That sounds perfect.....but first I'll have to call room service and get them to notify Venus and Stefano. I'm afraid Serena and Jen will start to smell like Damir did.


08-13-2002, 09:49 PM
Lol! :p Ooooooh I forgot to LMAO Ezel getting knocked out by Pred 2's ONB's What a sight that would be! :p

08-13-2002, 09:50 PM
Really good, again!!

08-13-2002, 09:52 PM
Cilla, your turn :p

Marly, great job once again... you need to write more smut though ;) :p

08-13-2002, 09:55 PM
:o *sigh* Is this only the BBB Show :o

08-13-2002, 10:26 PM

This is simply :cool:

So good! The best I've seen, as these stories keep in touch with the personalities!

08-13-2002, 10:52 PM
You guys realize you're nuts, right? I need to reread this again when I'm not so rushed :p

08-13-2002, 11:19 PM
OMG!! I love this thread!! Thankz sooooo much Cilla and Marly!!!:kiss:

08-14-2002, 10:04 AM
Kim does as she says and calls room service to notify Stefano and Richard over their warring daughters.

Lleyton: Finished?

Kim: Yes

Lleyton: At last

Lleyton and Kim finally get to kiss. They kiss each other passionately, Lleyton's shirt quickly comes off. Kim sees his boxer shorts.

Kim: Wait, what boxer shorts are you wearing??

Lleyton: My Official Davis Cup Yellow Fanatics ones

Kim looks at him

Lleyton: What!!! They're the first thing I found this....

Kim: No matter

They begin kissing again and end up against the door. In their passion they forget that the door isn't locked. Kim accidentally leans on it and the door bursts open and Lleyton and Kim tumble backwards in a heap. Their dramatic appearance on the floor of the hotel lobby is met with gasps. Lleyton and Kim slowly look up only to find their respective parents and their sisters staring down at them.

Lei: Kimike!

Kim: Dad!

Cherilyn: Lleyton!


Lleyton feebley attempts tocover his nipples in the gaze of his horrified mother.

Elke and Jaslyn: Busted!

They both giggle uncontrollably when Cherilyn yelps

Cherilyn:Jasssssssllllllyyyynnnn Your innocent lttle eyes can't witness such a thing!

And with that Cherilyn attempts to shove her 1980's style sunglasses on Jaslyn's face. Jaslyn struggles to fight her off.

Jas: Mom!!!!! You can't make me wear those shockers!!!

Lei: Ach ai yai yai Kimike, I thought we could trust both of you to be responsibly

Kim: We do.....

Everyone looks at Kim

Lleyton: Yep Kimmy we're at the pinnacle of responsibility now :rolleyes:

Kim: Well if you told us that you were all planning to come then we would've been quick........

Lei stares at Kim

Kim:Yeah now would be a good time to shut up

Lleyton: I think so

Cherilyn:Glynn do you have anything to add to your son's behaviour??

Glynn: GO CROWS!!!

Everyone looks at Glynn despite this he continues seemingly in a trance

Glynn:I remember it was 1973 and there was one minute to go on the clock I had to kick the winning goal for the Crows against Essendon. I just took the ball and...

Everyone: Kicked the little ripper, It was just Champion :rolleyes:

Glynn:Have I told this story before??

Cherilyn: Shut up Glynn.

Glynn: Yes Love.

Lei: Kim get your things we're leaving, what

Kim:I'm 18 dad you cant make me.......

Lei: NOW!!

Kim:Yes Daddy.

Kim collects her things and follows her father, mother and Elke down the hotel corridor she takes one last glance at Lleyton as she leaves.

Cherilyn: Right young man, I think we need to have a talk about the birds and the bees.

Lleyton: Oh what a shocker! Mom.....

Cherilyn:Get in there Lleyton.

Glynn and Cherilyn enter the hotel room with Lleyton in tow. Jaslyn tries to sneak off

Cherilyn: Where are YOU going??

Jas: Well it's not me in trouble is it so I'll just......

Cherilyn: You get in here young lady it's about time you got the talk too.

Jas: Oh what this is soooooo unfair. Dad tell her!

Glynn: GO CROWS!!!!!

08-14-2002, 10:19 AM
LMAO!! Cilla that is hellllll goood!! I love it!

08-14-2002, 10:31 AM
lol!!! Very very good

08-14-2002, 02:34 PM
LMAO BBB!!! Things are heating up, it seems. :o :p Give me a moment to think and I'll continue. ;)

08-14-2002, 03:02 PM
Hurry up Marly!!!

08-14-2002, 03:13 PM
*Lei stops around the corner of the hallway and opens the door to another hotel room.*

Lei: Kim, Elke, get in there!

Elke: Me, what did I--

Lei: Go!

*Kim and Elke walk inside the room and dump their stuff on the bed.*

Lei: Both of you stay in here until I can figure out what to do with you! *walks off*

Els: Don't worry, girls, I'll calm your father down.

Kim: Thanks mum.

Els: Kimike, just for future reference--be more discreet.

Kim: *blushing* Yes mum.

*Els shuts the door and leaves in search of Lei.*

Elke: Are you dumb or what?

*Meanwhile, down the hall, Lleyton is getting lambasted by his mother.*

Cherilyn:--and how could you be so irresponsible??

Lleyton: It wasn't irresponsibility, mum, it was an oversight.

Cherilyn: OVERSIGHT!!

Jaslyn: Yeah, it would be an irresponsibility if Kim got knocked up--

Cherilyn: KNOCKED UP!!

Glynn: I got knocked up myself once.

*The other three stare at him.*

Glynn: Mmmhmm. Yep, in 1973, right after the game against Essendon. I got tackled from behind by some bloody Port Adelaide tosser--

Cherilyn: Glynn, shut up.

Glynn: Yes dear.

*Jaslyn stands up.*

Cherilyn: And just where do you think you're going, young lady?

Jaslyn: I've practice, mum, remember? I gotta go. You can lecture me later if you have to.

Cherilyn: All right, go. Behave yourself!

Jaslyn: Always. *whispers to Lleyton* Good luck!

*Jaslyn leaves the room and bumps into Richard Williams in the hallway.*

Richard: Where's that brother of yours?

*In the room down the hall....*

Kim: Thanks for the support, sis.

Elke: Well, honestly. Use a little foresight.

Kim: Foresight! We'll see how much foresight YOU have when you're about to--erm, well, never mind.

Elke: Whatever. We'll get this straightened out soon enough. *Picks up the phone and dials a number.*

Kim: What are you doing?

Elke: Paging Jaslyn to tell her where we are. We've got some serious spin-control to do here, Kim.

*In the hallway....*

Jaslyn: Lleyton? What do you need him for?

Richard: Oh, I just thought I'd tell him his days at number one are numbered!

Jaslyn: Um, right. And you would know this how?

Richard: Because, my daughters are going to play on the ATP tour from now on! They'll be numbers one and two in the world, mark my words!

Jaslyn: Oh whatever. Get a life. *Checks her pager as it begins to beep.* There we go! Good work, Elke. Goodbye, you delusional old windbag.

*Jaslyn leaves Richard Williams and walks around the corner of the hall to the room number Elke had paged her with. She knocks on the door.*

Jaslyn: Open up, it's me, Jaz.

*Elke opens the door. Kim is sitting on the bed, a dazed and admiring look on her face.*

Elke: Good, that was quick. We've got a lot of work to do.


08-14-2002, 04:37 PM
I really love this tread!!!
Good job!!!

08-14-2002, 04:59 PM
very nice :D

08-14-2002, 05:35 PM
crazy but oooooooooooh so good

08-14-2002, 07:09 PM
This is great! Cilla i believe it's your turn ;) :p

08-14-2002, 07:17 PM
it's so funny
go on please
i love this thread

08-14-2002, 10:35 PM
Jas: Hey *whispers * Hey is she okay??

Elke looks at Kim

Elke: Yeah…erm at least I think so

Jas:Kim, please don’t mope around after my brother….he’s REALLY worth a dime!

Kim laughs at Jas and contines to stare at the ceiling

Elke: Ok Jas what’s the plan? Kim listen up.

Kim sits up on the bed

Jas: Right you wanna see Lleyton NOW don’t you?


Jas: Well do you or do you NOT wanna see my brother

Kim:Yeah of course I do! So what do you propose then?

A wide smirk comes across Jas’s face


Kim and Elke look at one another perplexed

Jas: Come on…..Think about it……Mum is practically keeping him prisoner in that room, If there was a way to get rid of her so you could see Lleyt…..

Kim: Go on…….

Jas: What does My mother love more than anything in the world??

Kim and Elke look puzzled

Elke: Erm…You and Lleyton??

Jas; Yeah like hell!

Kim: Glynn??

Jas: Are you insane she thinks he belongs on the funny farm!…GUESS??

Just as Elke and Kim are about to reply a piercing scream comes from way down the hotel corridor………

Kim and Elke look at each other then look at Jas

Kim:You didn’t………..

Jas: Uh huh….

Elke: You mean you……

Jas: Yep…..

Jas rubs her hands together with glee.

Meanwhile, The door to Lleyton’s hotel room bursts wide open. Cherilyn runs out frantically and proceeds to sprint in a state of blind panic down the hotel corridor screaming

Cherilyn: MY SUNGLASSES!!!!!!! Where are my babies!!

Back in Kim and Elke’s Hotel room Jas pulls Cherilyn’s 1973 Sunglasses out of her pocket and waves them around triumpantly.

Jas: Now for part 2 of “Operation Lovebirds reunited”!


08-14-2002, 11:57 PM

*wipes tears from eye*

08-15-2002, 02:14 AM
ROTFLMAO BBB!! This is going to be a hard act to follow. :p

08-15-2002, 07:08 AM
OMG!! You guys should win an awarad!!! This is hillarious!! You all are the best posters in the ATP bye FAR!!!!!

08-15-2002, 09:43 AM
OMG!!! Fantastic!!!

08-15-2002, 10:38 AM
LOL , this is great :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-15-2002, 06:00 PM
*Kim, Elke, and Jaslyn are standing in the open doorway of the room, watching Cherilyn's retreating form as she runs down the hallway in search of her sunglasses.*

Jaslyn: I'm going to distract my father.

Elke: Kim, I'll take of mum and dad.

Jaslyn: Stay here until you count to 20, then go to Lleyton's room. The rest will be up to you two.

*Jaslyn checks to make sure her mother isn't coming back, then hurries around the corner to her brother's room. Lleyton and Glynn are standing in the door way, looking bewildered.*

Jaslyn: Dad! Mum's in an awful state. I think we should go check on her.

Glynn: Speaking of an awful state, that's what Queensland is! They think their footy team is just so bloody great--

Jaslyn: Dad, can you tell me on the way? Thanks. *She nods at Lleyton, then takes Glynn by the elbow and steers him down the hallway, in the opposite direction of Kim and Elke.*

*Elke waits until Jaslyn turns the corner, and sets off herself in search of Lei and Els, and determined to keep Cherilyn away if she has to.*

Kim: Elke!

*Elke looks around impatiently.*

Elke: What?

Kim: I owe you one.

Elke: You're telling me. *winks* Now get out of here!

*Elke follows the distant sounds of Cherilyn's hysterical screaming, while Kim heads for Lleyton's room. He is standing in the doorway, looking perplexed.*

Kim: Lleyton!

Lleyton: Kim! *hugs her* What are you doing here?

Kim: Jailbreak, courtesy of our sisters.

Lleyton: So that's what that was all about!

Kim: Yes. Now come on, we have to get out of here while we have the chance!

*They sprint down the hallway in search of the elevator, determined not to be separated again. Lleyton presses the call button, and to their dismay, the elevator doors open to reveal.....*


08-15-2002, 08:49 PM
:eek: :eek: MARLY! How can you do that to me ! Cilla, where are you?? :p

08-15-2002, 11:17 PM
Do y'all mind if my part is a bit longer I've kinda got lots to write :o

08-15-2002, 11:19 PM
by all means go ahead Cilla... I won't be the one stoping you ;) :angel:

08-15-2002, 11:49 PM
*Lleyton and Kim's eyes widen* :eek: :eek:

Kim: Oh my God what is that? Is it some kind of beast or something??

Lleyton:Kim, it's Jim Courier :o

Kim:Oh right so that's what it, I mean that's who it is.

*Lleyton and Kim step into the elevator*

Jim:Hey Kids, say hello to your Uncle Jim!........

*Lleyton and Kim stare at Jim*

Jim:Well remember to respect your elders

*Lleyton and Kim sigh*

Both: Hello Uncle Jim

*They simultaneously roll their eyes*

Jim:Up or down?

Kim: Excuse me!

Lleyton:He means which way do we wanna go

Kim:Oh right, I knew that, down please

Jim:That's always the best way


*The elevator begins to move when all of a sudden comes a shuddering thump*

Lleyton:What the blue blazes was that!

Kim:The lift's not moving, Great could anything be worse at this moment in time!

Jim:How about a song boys and girls!!!!!

Kim:Yep I was wrong things CAN be worse

*Jim whips out his guitar from nowhere*

Lleyton:Please noooooooo Jim, no sing....

Jim:My Andy he's soooooooo manlyyyyyyyy, He's so graceful plus he's loving and he's dandyyyyyyy he's a 100% hunk and is my pandyyyy, he's my Andyyyyyy!!!

Lleyton:Oh my God, this is my punishment for all my years of being an ass on the court..THIS.....IS...MY....HELL

*Meanwhile in the hotel lobby....Cherilyn has resorted in crawling on the floor in the desperate search for her sunglasses.....*

Cherilyn: Here babies..where are you.....

*She makes kissing noises*

Cherilyn: Mummy's here..come to mummy mwah mwah mwah..

*Jas and Glynn come around the corner. Jas is horrified to see how desperate her Mum has become*

Jas: Mom, mom it's ok it'll be ok shhhhhhhhhhh

*Jas strokes her Mom's head*

Cherilyn:My Babies are gone :sad:

Jas: Dad a little help pleeeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee??

Glynn:Bloody Port Adelaide tossers, If I were 20 yrs younger I'd kick their asses.....

*Jas slaps her head in exasperation*

Jas: What heve I done to deserve these Parents :o

Back in the elevator Jim is now singing the Barney Theme song....

Jim:I love uuuuuuuuuuuuu you love meeeeeeeee we're a happy familyyyyyyyyyy

Kim: Lleyton make him STOP NOW
:fiery: Seeing as all this is your fault for having to be the badboy

Lleyton: What can I do, And anyway I thought you liked my bad-ass 'tude

Kim:Well yeah coz when you do that thing you do it really turns me o............HEY! That's besides the point

Lleyton sniggers

Kim:I dunno why you're laughing Hewitt because I swear to god if you don't find a way to get us outta here right NOW I promise you I will NEVER EVER give you.....

*Kim whispers in his ear, Lleyton's face drops*

Kim: EVER AGAIN. And you know I keep my promises.

Lleyton begins banging on the elevator and shrieking Lleyton:HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPP P!!!!

*Kim Smirks with a sense of satisfaction.....*

*Back in the lobby Elke finds Lei and Els but they bump into Glynn. Cherilyn and Jas*

Elke:Mom, dad..Hey....erm...what's up

Lei:We are looking for your sister where is she

Elke:Wellll erm..she's....

Jas:Gone out for fresh air

Lei:Well I need to find her now

Jas:Wait! Now you're all her we have something to show you.Elke and I have entered a..erm.....talent show


Jas:Yeah and we want you to be the first to see our act

Lei:I don't have time for silly.......

Elke:No seriously we wanna show you

Els:Ok what is your act?


Jas:We sing

Elke:Ok now you're just being dumb

Jas:Go with it! Yeah we call ourselves the " Sexy Sheilas"

*Elke rolls her eyes*

Elke:Jas I can't sing, Jas, Ja...

*Jas Bursts into song*

Jas:First I was afraid I was petrified!!! Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side......

*Jas looks at Elke, she continues singing*

Jas:Oh i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong.....

*Elke joins in*

Both:And I grew strong and I learned how to get allllllllllllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnngggggggg and so you're back......

While the Jas and Elke are busy occupying the parents with their woeful singing Lleyton and Kim are STILL stuck with Jim



08-16-2002, 12:02 AM

I've got my work cut out for me. ;)

08-16-2002, 12:15 AM
Oh my god I almost dropped when I read that, it's so hilarious lol! Jim Courier omg!

08-16-2002, 01:23 AM
LOL this is great :D oh Maaaarlyyyy :p

08-16-2002, 01:24 AM
Oh Annnnnnggggiiiieee.......

What? :p

08-16-2002, 01:53 AM
Originally posted by Lleyton's_Chick
Jim:Hey Kids, say hello to your Uncle Jim!........

*Lleyton and Kim stare at Jim*

Jim:Well remember to respect your elders

*Lleyton and Kim sigh*

Both: Hello Uncle Jim

*They simultaneously roll their eyes*


I just came in and read this whole thread in one sitting . . . my stomach hurts from the laughter . . .

08-16-2002, 02:10 AM
Glad you like it TH! We aim to please. :D

Check back later for the next installment. ;)

08-16-2002, 03:12 AM
Kim: If we don't get out of here NOW, I'm going to kill him.

Lleyton: Right. Give me a boost up, will you?

*Kim bends down and Lleyton sits on her shoulders. She stands straight up, and he goes to work forcing open the emergency hatch in the ceiling of the elevator.*

Jim: Now grandma's a person that everyone likes, she bought you a train and a nice shiny bike, but lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, and the last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.........

*Meanwhile, in the lobby, Jaslyn and Elke are still singing.*

Jaslyn/Elke: And so you're back from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face--

Lei: You're just going to stand there and sing? Nothing else?

*Elke and Jaslyn look at each other, then simultaneously begin disco dancing*

Jaslyn/Elke: I should have changed the stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key, If I'd've known for just one second you'd be back to bother me......

*In the elevator*

Lleyton: I've it......

Kim: Hurry every chance you get, okay? You're heavier than you look.

Jim: your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and one day you will too. Lalalalalala....

*The emergency phone rings, startling them all.*

Lleyton: Answer it!

*Kim grabs the phone*

Kim: HELP!

Operator: Is the elevator stuck?

Kim: No, I'm yelling help to try to trick you. YES, it's stuck! Get us out!

Operator: It'll take a few more minutes, ma'am. Try to be patient.

Kim: That's easy for you to say. :rolleyes:

Jim: How about another song?

*Lleyton and Kim groan in unison*

*In the lobby, the "talent" act is continuing...*

Jaslyn/Elke: Go on now go, walk out the door, just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore

*A crowd is starting to gather around, watching them*

Jaslyn/Elke: Weren't you the one that tried to hurt me with goodbye, did you think I'd crumble, did you think I'd lay down and die?

*Out of the crowd, another figure bursts forth, knocking Jaslyn and Elke aside.*

Serena: Oh no not I! I will survive!

*In the elevator, Lleyton and Kim are huddled together in the corner, trying to block out Jim's singing.*

Jim: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me.........

Lleyton: I'm going to kill him.

Kim: I'll race you to him.

*With a sudden lurch, the elevator starts to move again.*

Kim: Oh thank God. But--it's going up!

Lleyton: No, no, we need to go down, DOWN, dammit!

Jim: Be my guest.

Kim: Ewwwwwwwwwww.......

*The elevator stops on Lleyton's floor, and the doors slide open to reveal Andy and Jan-Michael kissing.*


Jim: Andy! Jan-Michael! :eek:

Lleyton: Guys, get a room!

Jan-Michael: Like you two did?

Kim: We HAD a room, we just sort of...fell out of it. :o

Jim: Andy! Jan-Michael! :eek:

Lleyton: Which is more than can be said for the two of you!

Jim: Andy! Jan-Michael! :eek:

Lleyton, Kim, Andy, and Jan-Michael: WHAT???

Jim: Do you wanna make out?

Kim: Oh God.

Lleyton: C'mon honey, we're taking the stairs!

*Lleyton grabs her hand and they sprint out of the elevator towards the stairs.*

*Meanwhile, in the lobby, Serena has taken over as the star attraction.*

Serena: As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive

*Elke climbs to her feet with difficulty.*

Elke: Jaz, are you okay?

*Jaslyn is lying prone on the floor, looking dazed.*

Jaslyn: Damn those Oversized Novelty Boobs! It felt like a bloody ton of bricks hit me!

*Elke pulls Jaslyn up.*

Elke: Come on, now's our chance to escape!

*The two girls have almost managed to sneak away when Cherilyn's scream rings out.*

Cherilyn: MY BABIES!!!!!

Elke: Jaslyn--

Jaslyn: Oh no--

*The girls spin around just in time to see Cherilyn take a flying leap at Serena.*

Elke: It's Serena! :eek:

Jaslyn: She's wearing mum's glasses! :eek: :eek:


08-16-2002, 03:16 AM
OMG! Cilla the song abour andy is hillarious!!! I love it !!

08-16-2002, 03:22 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly
*Out of the crowd, another figure bursts forth, knocking Jaslyn and Elke aside.*

Serena: Oh no not I! I will survive!


*Meanwhile, in the lobby, Serena has taken over as the star attraction.*

Serena: As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive


Jaslyn: Damn those Oversized Novelty Boobs! It felt like a bloody ton of bricks hit me!

ROTFLMAOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

08-16-2002, 03:27 AM
Originally posted by GoLleyt

ROTFLMAOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

:D I'm glad you liked it, Scotty.

Go for it BBB! :bounce:

08-16-2002, 09:29 AM
LMAO!!!!! :D

08-16-2002, 09:45 AM
Cilla .. I beleive it your turn!! :p:p

08-16-2002, 10:49 AM
LMAO!!! You guys are too good :D :D

*Lleyton grabs her hand and they sprint out of the elevator towards the stairs.*


08-16-2002, 11:36 AM
Please don't stop this, this is way to good! haha

08-16-2002, 12:25 PM
go on!!! it is soooo goooooddd

08-16-2002, 12:59 PM
Serena: Get this crazy lady off meeeeeeee!!!!!!

*Cherilyn is attacking Serena in a blind rage*

Cherilyn: Nobody *Slap* steals my *Kablam* babies away from Mummy *Pow* and gets away with it *Sok* I’m gonna kill you aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhh!!!!!

Jas: Mom….stop it what are you…wait a minute GOOOOOO MOM! KICK HER ASS!!!

*Jas jumps into the fight to help her mum*

Elke: Hey wait I don’t wanna be left out!

*Elke jumps in just for the hell of it *

*Amelie Mauresmo is walking past when she sees the four women fighting on the floor.*

Momo: Oooooh a foursome, why don’t I make it five….

*Amelie willingly joins in the fight *

*Meanwhile Lleyton and Kim are still struggling down the flight of stairs. Lleyton begins to wheeze.*

Lleyton: What's with this wheeze? Can we stop, It must be something I'm allergic to….

Kim: What’s new, you’re always allergic to something :rolleyes: Stop whining and C’mon.

*Lleyon and Kim continue up the flight of stairs. They finally make it outside, they open the door but to their dismay there is a blinding light awaiting them..*

Lleyton:Agggggggggghhhhhh I can’t see what the fuck….

Kim: It’s horrible it’s like some kind of glow…….aaahhhhh

Lleyton and Kim don’t realise as they are temporarily blinded but the glow is coming directly from the head of Andre Agassi. How long will the light shine off his freshly waxed head only time will tell…………

08-16-2002, 01:02 PM
YAY!! Cillla :kiss: :kiss:

08-16-2002, 02:31 PM
Originally posted by Lleyton's_Chick
Lleyton and Kim don’t realise as they are temporarily blinded but the glow is coming directly from the head of Andre Agassi.

:D :D :D

08-16-2002, 02:38 PM
OMG this is so great :D :D :D
thanx for making this story guys , it's really cool !!!!!!!

08-16-2002, 02:48 PM
Marly, your turn :p

08-16-2002, 03:40 PM
*Martina Hingis and Jennifer Capriati stroll into the lobby to see Jaslyn, Elke, Cherilyn, Amelie, and Serena fighting.*

Jen: What the fuck??

Martina: Now's our chance to take out one of the Williams sisters!

*Jen and Martina jump into the fray. Jaslyn has somehow ended up at the bottom of the pile and is being squished.*

Jaslyn: Elke....helllllllp!

*Elke worms her way free, kicking Jen in the face in the process, and grabs onto Jaslyn's hand, trying to pull her loose.*

Jaslyn: Help! I'm being crushed by the Oversized Novelty Boobs!!

Elke: Jaz, hang on a minute, I think you're hooked on something!

Serena: MY TIARA!!!!!!!

*Serena's tiara has snagged in one of Jaslyn's earrings.*

Jaslyn: Get OFF, you cow! *She elbows Serena in the face, knocking her backwards. The tiara stays caught in Jaslyn's earring.*

Serena: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Elke: Come on Jaslyn!

*The two girls sprint outside. Not far away.......*

Kim: Lleyton, make it stop!

Lleyton: COME ONNNNNN, Agassi, put a bloody hat on!

*Andre runs a hand over his bald plate.*

Andre: What, don't you like it?

Lleyton: What do you bloody well think, idiot?

Andre: You're lucky if someone doesn't whack you in the locker room, you little punk!

Kim: You bastard! *She squeezes her eyes shut and strikes out blindly, smacking Double-Head across the face. Meanwhile...*

Jaslyn: Get this stupid tiara out of my earring, will you?

*Elke manages to free the tiara without ripping out Jaslyn's earring.*

Elke: What now? Serena's gonna put a hit out on us. We're dead!

Jaslyn: No, she--

*A primal scream erupts from the hotel lobby behind them.*

Serena: MY TIARRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaslyn: RUN!!

*They dash around the corner of the building just in time to see Kim slap Agassi. Jaslyn stops short.*

Jaslyn: Arrrgh, my eyes! I can't see!

Elke: I've got it all under control. *She reaches into her pocket and pulls out Cherilyn's 1973 sunglasses and puts them on.* Charge!!! *She runs forward and pulls Agassi's shirt up over his head.*

Kim: Elke, Jaslyn, thank God!

Lleyton: Where are our parents? Are they coming?

Elke: It's a long story. We've got to get out of here! Come on Jaslyn!

*Jaslyn opens her eyes.*

Jaslyn: God, Elke, why'd you have to pull his shirt up like that? Seeing his chest is enough to make a person go blind any day!

*Another scream echoes out into the streets.*

Jaslyn: But never mind, good work!

*The four siblings run off, conscious of Serena's screams still following them.*


08-16-2002, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly

Martina: Now's our chance to take out one of the Williams sisters!

:D Good Job BBB ;)

08-16-2002, 03:52 PM
Thanks BBB. :D I just realized that my installments keep getting longer and longer and longer....oops. :o :p

08-16-2002, 04:01 PM
No matter :p Mine too so we can just allow it. It took me nearly 1hour to write my instalment yesterday :o

08-16-2002, 04:09 PM
I LOVE THIS!! LMAO its gets funnier everytime!! :p:p

08-16-2002, 09:42 PM

You have imagination!

Love the fight best btw! ;)

and not to mention Amelie, and the sunglasses in this all... LOL

Wonder what y'all are going to come up with next!

08-16-2002, 10:27 PM
ROTFLMAO!!! :D :D :D This is GREAT!! keep it up! :bounce:

08-17-2002, 01:24 AM
Awww :(

08-17-2002, 02:19 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly
Serena: MY TIARRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Kim: Lleyton, make it stop!

Lleyton: COME ONNNNNN, Agassi, put a bloody hat on!

*Andre runs a hand over his bald plate.*

Andre: What, don't you like it?



Then you had to go and get all fookin' serious on us :(

08-17-2002, 03:28 AM
This story is amazing. you are very creative

08-17-2002, 03:43 AM
LMAO you guys are doing a great job!! :kiss:

08-17-2002, 09:43 AM
Sorry about my depression it reflected my mood yestersday :o Marly will sort it out

08-17-2002, 09:59 AM
Cilla .... Its ok!! I though teh tread was still Fabulous!! :kiss: Hope you in a better mode today!! *hugs*

08-17-2002, 10:40 AM
I wrote changed the 2nd Part-Much better :D

*Lleyton, Kim, Elke and Jas are still running, Jas says out of breath*

Jas: I...think.......we...lost....her......

Elke: I...damn.......well......hope so!

Kim: What did you guys do to Serena anyway.

Jas: It's not our fucking fault!

Elke: Yeah we kinda had Serena's tiara and.....

Lleyton: Holy Shit! You took her tiara you'd better run're so dead!

*Lleyton laughs out loud*

Jas: Yeah thanks for that bro that's just what we needed

Lleyton: No worries choke!

*Jas gives Lleyton the dirtiest look*

Jas: C'mon Elke lets go before attack of the Triple X Boobs finds us

*Jas and Elke run off*

Kim: Be careful!

Lleyton: Dags

Kim: Lleyton be nice

Lleyton: Speaking of nice, why don't you be nice to me...

Kim: Oh my God is that all you think about??

Lleyton: I'm a guy.

Kim:You raise a good point there

Lleyton: Yeah I do

*The couple begin to kiss and cuddle and they hug then Kim sees something from the corner of her eye*

Lleyton: Are you ok??

Kim: Erm……

Suddenly someone shoves a microphone between them

Interviewer: Lleyton ESPN here we would like to interview NOW ok now how do you feel

Lleyton: What, woah..wait just a minute no-one told me a bout any Interview..

Interviewer: Yeah well we can do that, and you have NO say we are the MIGHTY ESPN! Feel our roar! Anyway back to the….

Lleyton: I don’t wanna bloody talk to you I wanna spend time……

Kim: Wait, If they want an interview why don’t you give em one?

Lleyton: Eh?

Kim whispers something to Lleyton, he smirks.

Lleyton: Ok you want an inteview go ahead.

Interviewer: How do you feel your chances are at the US OP……

Lleyton: ESPN sucks ass people NEVER watch it. NEXT Question please

Interviewer looks perplexed

Interviewer: Erm Ok, how do you rate your chances…

Lleyton: Patty Mac and Cliff Drysdale are the Worst Commentators on the face of this earth… the the UNIVERSE!

Kim: Bloody Awful

Lleyton: Right on babe…..NEXT!!

Interviewer: Ok......ERM...Lleyton you do realise this is live and we wanna discuss your tennis….

Lleyton: Oh and ESPN2 sucks ass as well funny how they’d rather worship Double head the balding Gorilla and the Pandy rather than the bloody number one in the world! that’s logic for ya.

Kim: Disgraceful….

Kim stifles a laugh

Lleyton:Anything else??

Interviewer: Well..erm…..No

Lleyton: Good, It was great talking to ya, Beauty, C’mon Kim

Kim and Lleyton walk off leaving the Interviewr not knowing what to make of it all.

Kim:You know babe that’s done nothing for your PR……

They both laugh and leave arm in arm

(Less depressing Baby! :p)

08-17-2002, 11:49 AM
CILLLA!!! Thats is hillarious!! :kiss: Hurry up and wake up Marly i want MORE!

08-17-2002, 02:09 PM
LOL this is superbe !!!!!!
très funny guys , keep going on

08-17-2002, 05:39 PM
ROFL @ that espn instant interview!

08-17-2002, 05:41 PM
Great job!! Go on!!

08-17-2002, 05:46 PM
:D at the interview, I was wondering if that'd sneak in somewhere.

08-17-2002, 06:21 PM
Thanks for the change in the story, BBB. ;)

*At the tennis facilities in Rosmalen.*

Jaslyn: I feel like we should dump this tiara, and yet something is holding me back.

Elke: I feel the same way about these minging sunglasses. :o It must be a premonition or something.

Jaslyn: Speaking of premonitions, I don't hear the Predator Part Deux behind us any more, but I know she's there. What should we do now?

Elke: Let's go take advantage of the sauna for a little while. We'll relax and review our options.

*The girls sneak into the players' area and head into the sauna.*

Samantha Stevenson: Oh no you don't!

Jaslyn: What?

Samantha: Alexandra! Let's go, we're leaving!

Elke: What are you talking about?

Samantha: The two of you, coming into the sauna together. I knew there was rampant lesbianism on tour, I just knew it! And now I have the proof! International media, here I come! Mwhahahahahaha!

*Samantha and Alexandra leave.*

Elke: Wonderful. This'll look great back in Belgium. :rolleyes:

Jaslyn: I wonder who mum and dad'll be more mad at now: Lleyton and Kim, or you and me.

Serena: Fe, fi, fo, fum, I spell the blood of an Australiun!

Elke: HIDE!


08-17-2002, 06:43 PM
ROFL @ Samantha!

08-17-2002, 08:14 PM

08-17-2002, 08:18 PM
:D :D :D rampant lesbianism , LOL

08-17-2002, 09:43 PM
*Lleyton and Kim continue to walk arm in arm through Rosamlen laughing and joking when they bump into Pete Sampras and his wife Bridgette*

Kim: Oh Hey Guys

Brigdette: Hey, how are you….

*Pete whispers*

Pete: Do not say a word Bridge……

Bridgette: What I was just being polite…

Pete: Well Don’t.

Lleyton: Look, what’s your problem Pete?

Pete: You, Lleyton you’re my problem you think you’re the best just because you’re number one in the world well you’re not. I’m the true number one around here…..I’m still young and fresh……

*Lleyton, Kim and even Bridgette all look at a ranting Pete, Kim whispers to Lleyton*

Kim: Young and fresh???! Try old and crusty!

*Lleyton sniggers*

Pete: I’m hip, I’m cool. I’m down, I can kick it with you young crazy peeps.

*Pete makes several hand gestures in an attempt to look cool, Bridgette rolls her eyes while Lleyton and Kim struggle to keep a straight face*

Bridgette: I am so sorry for his adolescent behaviou…

Pete: No, Bridge, don’t apologise for anything, I wanna match, mixed doubles, you and Kim Vs Me and Bridge tonight.

*Lleyton and Kim look at each other, Bridgette looks at her husband in dismay*

Bridgette: What! Are you out of your tiny mind! I can’t play tennis, The only thing I’m good at is starring in B list movies with C-List supporting roles. I can’t…..

Kim: Ok I think we’re just gonna go now….

Pete: Oh what piking out are we, chickens..See Bridge they’re scared of my superior speed across the court

*Lleyton bursts into laughter*

Lleyton: Superior what! You’ve been taking too many of those tablets again old man, you're obviously delusional, maybe you need to up his dosage Bridge……

Kim: Lleyton!

*Kim whispers*

Kim: That was a good one babe ;)

*Lleyton whispers back*

Lleyton: Yeah it was!

Pete: Well if you’re game meet us on the practise court tonight 7pm sharp be there or be……

*Pete scratches his receeding hairline trying to think of a word*

Pete: Square

Lleyton & Kim: Square??!

*An embarrassed and humiliated Bridgette shakes her head*

Pete: Yeah square all the Kids are saying it these days……

*Bridgette slaps Pete across his balding head as she drags him away. The voices become more distant*

Bridgette: What the hell is wrong with you, are you insane, God sometimes I wonder why I married you……

*She quickens her pace and stomps off*

Pete: Bridge, Hunnybuns wait for Mr.Gorilla

*Lleyton and Kim are standing there pondering what just happened*

Lleyton: Hunnybuns?!

Kim: Mr.Gorilla??!

*The couple burst into raucous laughter and once again retreat into the streets of Rosmalen*

Lleyton: I love you soooooo much my ickle koala bea…..

*Kim pokes Lleyton in the ribs*

Kim: Don’t even go there Hewitt!

Lleyton laughs and playfully kisses Kim on the cheek.


08-17-2002, 10:27 PM
ROFL @ "Bridgette: What! Are you out of your tiny mind! I can’t play tennis, The only thing I’m good at is starring in B list movies with C-List supporting roles. I can’t….. "

08-17-2002, 10:35 PM
LMAO @ Bridgette! :p

08-18-2002, 01:58 AM
Jaslyn: What do you mean, hide?? We're in a fucking sauna, not a forest, there's no place to hide!!!

Elke: Well then try to blend in or something!

*Serena throws open the door to the sauna.*

Serena: I want what's mine, kiddies!

*Jaslyn cowers behind Elke.*

Jaslyn: Elke, don't let her near me with those Oversized Novelty Boobs!

*In s-Hertogenbosch, Lleyton and Kim are strolling along hand in hand.*

Lleyton: We've got the entire day to ourselves! What do you want to do, sweetheart?

Kim: Well, we should probably practice a little bit.....but we can do that later. Actually, I'm having fun just walking and talking with you. :angel:

Lleyton: Me too, Kimsy.

*Lleyton leans over and kisses her cheek. Unbeknownst to them, a papparazzi photographer is hiding across the street......*

*In the sauna.....*

Elke: Jaz, shut up, she'll hear you!

*Serena is stumbling around, due to the combination of the steam and her unfamiliarity with the sauna.*

Serena: I know you're in here, dammit!

*Elke and Jaslyn sllllllloooowwwwwwllllyyyy begin to creep around Serena, heading for the door. Suddenly it opens, and someone else comes in.*

Amelie: Bonjour Serena!

Serena: I want my tiara!

*Elke and Jaslyn sprint out of the sauna and around the corner.*

Amelie: What? I don't know what you're talking about.

Samantha: There they are!

*Serena and Amelie whirl around. Samantha Stevenson and 10 photographers are crowded in the doorway.*

Samantha: THERE are the lesbians!!!

Jaslyn: Lucky break for you, eh?

Elke: Let's not stay here any longer and press our luck. :o

*The two girls hurry off.*


08-18-2002, 02:43 AM
Originally posted by Lleyton's_Chick
Bridgette: What the hell is wrong with you, are you insane, God sometimes I wonder why I married you??

*She quickens her pace and stomps off*

Pete: Bridge, Hunnybuns wait for Mr.Gorilla


Gonzo Hates Me!
08-18-2002, 02:44 AM
Hey girl!

08-18-2002, 02:45 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Marly
Samantha: There they are!

*Serena and Amelie whirl around. Samantha Stevenson and 10 photographers are crowded in the doorway.*

Samantha: THERE are the lesbians!!!


LOL, good work you two :)

08-18-2002, 02:46 AM
Originally posted by Mrs_Guga
Hey girl!

Hey, Mrs. G. Long time no see :D

Gonzo Hates Me!
08-18-2002, 02:51 AM
Yeah yeah!! I am more at, but this is practically the same thing--same people... but I have less time for the net... I haven't been to ATPTZ in sooooo long

08-18-2002, 03:34 AM
Originally posted by Mrs_Guga
Yeah yeah!! I am more at, but this is practically the same thing--same people... but I have less time for the net... I haven't been to ATPTZ in sooooo long

:o This isn't WTAWorld yet! :o

I know you haven't been to TZ lately, it's being overrun with stupid advertisements :fiery: I fear it's dying a slow death :sad: We miss you there.

08-18-2002, 03:42 AM
Great job girls!! Keep it comming!!

08-18-2002, 10:28 AM
LOL this is hilarious :D :D :D
you girls rock !!!!! keep it coming :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-18-2002, 05:29 PM
Please give us more!
We're hungry for stories lol

08-18-2002, 06:38 PM
great story! like it

08-18-2002, 09:54 PM
*Jas and Elke end up walking around in the streets of Rosmalen laughing and chatting when something catches Jaslyn's eye*

Jas:Hello! Our lucks in Mate!


Jas:Cute Dutch boys heading right in our direction, quick Elke teach me something smart to say in Flemish.

Elke:Like what??!

Jaslyn:Like anything, How about "I think you're really cute"

*The two boys get nearer*

Jas:Quick they're nearly here!

*Elke looks flustered*

Elke:Ok erm......

*Suddenley a smirk comes across Elke's face*

Elke:Ok how about "ik vind u een domme ezel" Can you say that!

Jas:What does that mean??

Elke:Errrr, I think you're realy sexy!

Jas:Yeah ,no probs I'm a Hewitt I can handle anything!

*Jas smiles confidently as Elke backs away, The boys approach Jaslyn gives them both her flirtiest smile she says to one of the boys*

Jas:"ik vind u een domme ezel"

*One of the boys pokes the other in the ribs and bursts into uncontrollable laughter, Jaslyn looks confused as the boys run off*

Jas:What happened? Why did they react like that??

Elke:I have NO idea, they're idiots come on Jas lets go back to the hotel.

*Jas still looks confused as the two girls motion off, Meanwhile Lleyton and Kim have also made it back to the hotel*

Lleyton:Well I'm gonna try and find Stoltz for a little bit, will you be ok on your lonesome? Can you survive without me for a few hours I know it'll be hard but you can at least try.......

Kim:Hmm I think I can manage

*They kiss and Lleyton walks off to find Stoltz, she meets up with Elke and Jaslyn outside*

Jas:Hey Kim

Kim:Yeah Jas

Jas:What does :"ik vind u een domme ezel"

*Kim laughs as Elke motions for her sister not to tell her what it means*

Kim:Who told you......

*Kim sees Elke*

Kim:When exactly did you say what you said?

Jas:Well there were these guys and Elke said it would really impress them.

Kim:Jas.....erm.......It means "I think you're a stupid donkey"


Kim:Sorry but that's a huge diss in Flemish, I think you've been a little misguided.....

*Jas looks calm*

Jas:Huh,Okay.....I think you're a stupid donkey.....hmmmm

*Elke starts to back away as Jas turns to face her*

Jas:I'm gonna kill you Elke!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elke:No Jas wait, It was a joke aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

*Elke begins to run as Jas chases her screaming*

Jas:You are SO dead Elke!

*As Jas chases Elke, Hayden comes up behind Kim*

Hayden:Erm.what the hell is all the screaming about

Kim:Sisters, you don't wanna know

*Kim laughs*

Hayden:You wanna get something to eat?


*The pair walk off chatting, meanwhile Lleyton is still looking for Stoltz when he is approched by the paparazzi photographer*

Man:Lleyton, look I have a propo..

Lleyton:Hey, I don't need anything from you mate, all you lot are scum bugger off...

Photographer:I don't think you undestand...

Lleyton:No YOU don't understand..Get lost idiot

Photographer:Ok, but I might have something of your intrest to do with yourself and Kim......

*Lleyton turns around*


Photographer:Ah I see that got your attention, we need to have a little chat.....


08-18-2002, 09:57 PM
LoL nice keep it going :) where is marlz?

08-18-2002, 10:00 PM
Have no idea...Oh a special thanx to Eva ;)

08-18-2002, 10:49 PM

08-19-2002, 02:04 AM
:eek: :eek: MARLY! Get in here now :p

08-19-2002, 04:19 PM
I'm waiting!!! Go on, this is great!!!

08-19-2002, 05:26 PM
Marly is back at school now so.....

Gonzo Hates Me!
08-19-2002, 06:41 PM
Someone put some vocab in the dictionary please!! People can not survive here without knowing the vocab. I still feel like I am in a new country

08-20-2002, 12:25 PM
Photographer: I have of yourself and Ms. Clijsters.

Lleyton: How exactly did you come about these "suggestive" photos, mate?

Photographer: I caught the two of you sharing some intimate moments while you were walking around Rosmalen.

Lleyton: You were following us, you bastard!

Photographer: Yes, I was. And I will publish these photos unless you give meeeeeeellion dollas!

*Jaslyn is still chasing Elke.*

Jaslyn: I could've started something with one of those guys, dammit!

Elke: No you couldn't, you don't speak Dutch!

Jaslyn: So what? The language of love is universal. :angel:

*Elke groans*

Jaslyn: At the very least I could've got some decent action out of it!

*Elke stops short*

Elke: Oh my God, look at that!!!

*Not far away, Kim and Hayden are sitting outside a local cafe, eating.*

Hayden: So Jaslyn still has Cherilyn's babies?

Kim: Yep.

Hayden: And Elke still has Serena's tiara?

Kim: As far as I know.

Hayden: Crikey, they better be careful. Cherilyn is damn unpredictable when it comes to those sunglasses, and Serena, well.....I think we all the damage she can inflict with those Oversized Novelty Boobs when she's pissed off.

Kim: Well, there's no telling where they are now. Hopefull they'll have the sense to lie--do you hear that?

Hayden: Hear what?

Kim: Shhh, listen!

*They listen.*

Hayden: It sounds likes--

Kim: Oh my God--



FYI, now that I'm back in school, the updates won't come as often. Cills and I have decided to alternate days with our respective installments, so unless she just gets struck with a thunderbolt of inspiration, this is all y'all get for today. :o Y'all'll all just have to be patient and work with us. :p

08-20-2002, 12:30 PM
Thankz Marly!! Its ok sweetie i know The stresses of school aswell!! :p:p

08-20-2002, 01:02 PM
This is great:p ! Go on:bounce: !

08-20-2002, 01:39 PM
Thanks Marly!!!
It's great!!!!

08-20-2002, 06:20 PM
OMG!!!!! I'm totally ROTFLMFAO!!! at this thread!! lolol!!
Great going girls! :D

ok. .. funniest things EVER.... Jim Courrier in the elevator whipping his guitar outta nowhere and singing his songs about Pandy! Rotf! And Agassis' blinding bald head and the ESPN crew trying to interview Llegs! LMFAO!!!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-20-2002, 06:30 PM
oh and rotf @ Pandy and Jan Mike! lolol

08-20-2002, 09:24 PM
LOL Marly, great!

Wonder what y'all will come up with next!

08-20-2002, 09:59 PM
Kim: This calls for emergency action

Hayden: I don’t like the sound of this Kim, what are you up to….

Kim: Shhhhh Hayden! A woman needs to do what is necessary in times of desperation and this is one of those times.

*Kim dumps her handbag on the table she pulls out a tape recorder and speakers*

Hayden: Woah woah, how the hell did you fit that kinda crap in your handbag?!

Kim: Now look, Hayden there's one golden rule about us girls, we can fit ANYTHING in our handbags, no matter how slutty or microscopic the handbag is or looks we always manage it :angel:

*Serena bursts out from the bushes*

Serena: Agggggggh my tiarrrrrrraaaa…….

*Kim places a tape in the recorder and pushes play, loud music begins to blare out

Tape:Woooohhhhhhhoooooo, wooooooohhhhhhoo……..

*Serena, Hayden and everyone in the Café falls silent*

Hayden: What in the hell….

*Shakira’s “Whenever Wherever” blasts out Kim beings warbling and belly dancing firmly in Shakira mode*

Kim: “Lucky you were born that far away so
We could both make fun of distance
Luck that I love a foreign land for
The lucky fact of your existance”

Hayden: Oh………..My…..God…….

Kim: “Baby I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body
Never could imagine there were only
Ten Million ways to love somebody

Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le……………”

*Meanwhile Lleyton is arguing with the Photographer*

Lleyton: One meeeeeeellllllliiion dollars! You’ve been watching bloody too much Austin Powers mate, you need to get out a hellva lot more! I bet you’re bluffing you aint got nothing…..

Photographer: Groovy baby!

Lleyton looks at him

Photographer: Shut up Hewitt! So you don’t believe me…..really, well why don’t you ask my boss if I’m bluffing

Lleyton: Boss??

*Meanwhile back at the Café…..*

Kim: “Can't you see
I'm at your feet
Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near…..”

*Kim is vigorously shaking her rear*

Hayden whispers what exactly are you trying to achieve??!

Kim: Duh?? Hypnosis I’m trying to use my Shakira dancing to hypnotise Serena!

*Hayden says in a sarcastic tone*

Hayden: Oh how stupid of me how could I possibly not realise that I’m just sooooooo dumb!

*Hayden rolls his eyes, people in the Café are staring at Kim’s vigorous Shakira dancing*

Hayden: Hahaha Pretty crazy what this woman’s doing, I am in no way associated with her..She just came and sat down with me I…

While dancing Kim gets overexcited as one of her flailing arms slaps Hayden in the face…

Hayden: Bloody hell you insane sheila! That’s my fuckin eye! Watch it next time you……Shakira Wannabe!

*There is a thump Serena has hit the ground boobs first and is fast asleep*

Hayden: Stone the Crows, it only went and bloody worked! At least she had a soft landing!

Kim: Did you ever doubt me :D

Hayden: Never….I would never doubt you….

Kim: Liar!

Hayden: Me a liar, I’m sooooo hurt :p C’mon Let’s get outta here before it wakes up!

Kim sings

Kim: "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble"…..

Meanwhile Lleyton is still with the photographer

Photographer: Yeah my boss, he’s extremely powerful you know, If you doubt me ask him?

Lleyton: Ask Who…

Lleyton turns round and gasps

Who could the “boss” be check back for the next instalment :p

08-20-2002, 10:02 PM
ROTFLMAO at Kim :o :o

08-20-2002, 10:04 PM
Oh my god Cilla that's hilarious!

08-20-2002, 10:06 PM
Oh my! :)

08-20-2002, 10:14 PM
Hey angele what does that means (rotflmao)???:confused:
Good story btw!!

08-20-2002, 10:18 PM
Stefke, I don't dare to tell that :o

I have already a reputation in teaching everyone bad words in Dutch... :D :o

08-20-2002, 10:19 PM
ROTFLMAO* Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off :D

08-20-2002, 11:53 PM
LMAO at Kimmy! :) And it worked, too, even funnier!

You guys are great :D

08-21-2002, 05:25 PM

08-21-2002, 05:36 PM
Nice one BBB. ;)

I just had a brain wave, so y'all check back later today. :D

08-23-2002, 02:46 AM
Lleyton: You! :eek:

*Lucy Henman steps out from behind the bushes.*

Lucy: Me!

*Lleyton is flabbergasted.*

Lleyton: What--what--

Lucy: I'm sorry, Lleyton, this is noting personal. I'm doing this to save my marriage.

Lleyton: How is trying to blackmail me going to save your marriage?

Lucy: I was hoping you'd refuse to pay and the pictures would be published. But this idiot *glares at photographer* only asked for one million dollars, not one BILLION.

Lleyton: Again, what does any of this have to do with your marriage?

Lucy: I thought that if Tim saw pictures of you and Tim together, he'd give up trying to seduce you and come back to me. :o

*At the Rosmalen tennis complex.....*

Jaslyn: Oh, that's disgusting.

Elke: It's just WRONG!

*Justine Henin comes strolling off one of the practice courts, her breasts 3 times larger than normal size.*

Justine: Bonjour, Elke. Where is Kim? In her hotel room, too scared to come and face me woman to woman?

Elke: I don't know where she is at the moment, but what the hell are you talking about?

Justine: Ach, Kim, she is afraid. She knows that I am the superior player and she is afraid to face me.

Elke: I think you had too much wine with dinner, Justine.

Justine: I am the best tennis player in Belgium!!

Elke: Yeah, and I'm a long-lost Williams sister. :rolleyes:

Justine: What is wrong with your friend? For sure, she must be ill.

*Jaslyn is staring slack-jawed at Justine's chest.*

Elke: No no, she's fine. *laughs nervously* Just a bit, you know....I think she's blinded by the sun!

*Elke pulls Cherilyn's sunglasses out of her pocket and slips them onto Jaslyn's face.*

Jaslyn: Justine, what in the bloody hell did you do to your boobs? I mean, you actually have some now!

Justine: What do you mean? I have always looked like this!

Jaslyn: Yeah, and all those blonds that are always with Marat Safin are his sisters. :rolleyes:

Justine: This is an outrage! I will not stand for it! You are both just jealous of me.

Elke: Right, because we're both just soooooooooo lacking in the breast department. :rolleyes:

Justine: For sure, I don't need to listen to this! *Storms off in a huff.*

Elke: Good riddance. She's such an ezel!

Jaslyn: I don't know what that means, but I'm sure I agree. *Takes off sunglasses.* And hey, at least these bloody minging things are good for something, right?


08-23-2002, 03:03 AM
lmao :D

poor Juju :p

08-23-2002, 04:08 AM
:o Juju I still love you :)

08-23-2002, 10:56 AM
Marly, your great!!!!!:D

08-23-2002, 10:58 AM
Oeps sorry I meant: you're great!!

08-23-2002, 11:02 AM
Marly!:eek: How dare you :p

*switching to being honest again*: ROFL! :)

good stuff! Reading this, I simply hear Juju saying all that! :D

08-23-2002, 02:23 PM
haha poor Justine, if she would read this ......
It's fun anyway.

08-23-2002, 02:30 PM
LMAO , great stuff
poor juju , no boobs for her :D :D :D
en LOL @ safin and his "sisters" :D

08-23-2002, 04:41 PM
Jaslyn: Yeah, and all those blonds that are always with Marat Safin are his sisters.

LMAO! :p

08-23-2002, 04:57 PM
*Hayden and Kim are back in the hotel and are talking down the corridor.*

Kim: So Hayden, Is there anyone that you like on the WTA Tour?

*Hayden looks flustered*

Hayden: Erm jeez where did that question come from Kim.

Kim: Well we hardly talk about it so I’m just asking, If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fi..

Hayden: No It’s ok….well there is one girl…

Kim: I knew it

Hayden: Knew what?

Kim: I know who you like!

Hayden: Really?! I don’t think you really underst…

Kim: Of course I do! Which is why I’ve set up a meeting with her!

Hayden: Who?

Kim The girl you like! She’s just in this room.

Hayden: Kim no, wait you’ve really got the wrong idea….

*Kim pushes Hayden into this a hotel room, to Hayden’s dismay Anna Kournikova is sitting there with 100 hundred Bodyguards surrounding her. Hayden tries to run out of the room.*

Hayden: Kim, please listen this isn’t the…

Kim: I thought you could get to know each other better so enjoy!

*She whispers to Hayden*

Kim:You don’t have to thank me ;)

*Kim exits truimphant. She says to herself*

Kim: Kim Clijsters: Match Maker extrodinaire-I should really go into business.. :D

*She stands behind the door and listens intently to the conversation between the potential love match*

Anna: Hi, and you are?

Hayden: Well, yeah I’m Hayde..

Anna: Great, yeah that’s enough about you lets talk about me, me and me that’s a far more interesting subject Mark.

Hayden: It’s Hayden

Anna: Whatever, Sit.

*Hayden sits down obediently at Anna’s command*

Anna: You know people who think I’m just a spoilt self obsessed diva are so wrong.

*Hayden says with lack of enthusiasm*

Hayden: Really

Anna: Errrr yeah! Spoilt Divas are bitches like Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey, Now THOSE are Spoilt Diva bitches from hell, butt ugly at that.

Hayden: Yeah, They’re real bush pigs

*He rolls his eyes*

Anna: Ooh you learn fast Robert

Hayden: It’s Hayden

Anna: Whatever. There’s nobody in the world more beautiful than me

She swishes her long blond ponytail

Hayden: Of Course not Anna no-one can rival your stunning beauty

Anna: Oh stop…..

*There’s silence*

Anna: Erm I didn’t mean that literally. Hello!

*Back with Lucy Henman and Lleyton….*

Lleyton: Your husband is a complete tosser, I mean he’s a perv but I’m not surprised at all that he fancies me I’m just irresistable you know what I’m saying…….Oh no you wouldn’t know what it’s like would you….

Lucy: My Timmy is just confused that’s all. When we got married he was soooo passion….

Lleyton: Oh for Christ sake I don’t wanna know about you frigid sex life! You can’t blackmail me. Coz I’ll simply tell Tim that the baby isn’t his and then he’ll leave you and you’ll have no money…..

Lucy: What money?

Lleyton; Oh yeah he doesn’t win any tournaments does he :p Now listen up you phoney highlighted ugly witch if you don’t give me those prints….

Lucy: Take them, I cannot possibly risk losing my little Timmy, Baby Timothy Jnr needs a father…..

Lucy pats her bump

Lleyton:Oh yuck, I feel sorry for the little pommie having two loser parents like you…..gross

*Lleyton walks away with the photographs in his hand while Lucy sings Timothy Jnr a Lullaby*

Lucy: I love you so little Timothy ,your Daddy will be a champion, one day soon I promise you, he’ll be the Wimbledon champ tooooooo….:o

*Meanwhile back in the hotel room, Hayden sighs while Anna continues talking at a speed not yet known to man..*

Anna: Those who say that my entourage is too big are so totally wrong!

Hayden: Really :rolleyes:

Anna: Like duh! I mean I only have My Mom, Harold, My agent, My Management Team, My PR, My Fitness Trainer, My Chiropracter, My Yoga Guru, My Pilates Instructor, My Hairstylist, My Beauty Therapist, My Manicurist, My Personal Laundry washer, My Personal shopper, My Dog Walker, My Dog’s Shampooist, My 100 Bodyguards…….

Hayden: Look, Anna…

Anna: Did I permit you to speak Martin..

Hayden: Well I don’t think..

Anna: That’s a no, so shut up..

Hayden stands up

Hayden: Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most bitchy, spoilt, self obsessed, disrespectful little brat….

Anna put her hand up to Hayden’s face

Anna: Talk to the hand Chris, As much as I would like to continue chatting with you because this conversation is such a major event in my life :rolleyes: , I have an important appointment with my spiritual advisor Rudi.

Hayden: Whatever :rolleyes:

Anna: Remind me never to speak to you again Richard

Hayden: My name is bloody Hayden! :mad:

Anna: Whatever Simon :rolleyes:

Hayden growls at Anna’s rudeness as Anna leaves the hotel trailed by her 100 bodyguards 1 by 1 one. She whispers to Kim

Anna: A word of advice Kim, tell your friend not to be so self obsessed, it’s a really selfish character trait

*With one swish of her ponytail she saunters off down the corridor with her bodyguards in tow, Kim puts on a bright smile*

Kim: So how’d it go then?!

Hayden looks at Kim :mad:

Kim: Look Hayden, I’m sorry I just thought….

Hayden: Talk to the hand Shakira, Suprisingly I need to lie down. I have a headache.

*Hayden storms off down the corridor*

Kim: So you won’t be seeing her again then??

*Hayden slams his hotel room door*

Kim: Ok, I’m thinking that’s a NO then………:o


08-23-2002, 05:20 PM

08-23-2002, 05:31 PM

08-23-2002, 07:50 PM
this is my first message but please gif us more of dat :) :) :) :D :D :D

08-23-2002, 09:58 PM
OMG, this is hilarious!!!!!:D
I don't know, but I think Hayden doesn't really like Anna:angel: :p

08-24-2002, 01:36 AM

This thread is the ultimate thread EVER!!! LOL!!!! It is SOO hularious!!!!

08-24-2002, 03:00 PM
hi guys
i'm new but dis seems really fun!!!
:p :p :p :p :D :D :D

go kimmie go lleyton go xavier go elke go justine

08-24-2002, 03:12 PM
:wavey: jipeegirl
yeah this story rocks :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-24-2002, 03:32 PM
are you guys from belgium?

komaan kimmeke , elke, xavier ! comeone lleyton! allé justine!

08-24-2002, 03:32 PM
yeah i am , live in mechelen

08-24-2002, 03:34 PM
me too i'm from aalst

08-24-2002, 04:58 PM
Me too, I'm from Sint-Niklaas!!!!!!
Oooh dierbaar België!!!!!:bounce:

08-25-2002, 02:06 AM
Ok.. I just had to post this b/c I thought it was too funny! I am just picturing him singing about Pandy! ROTF!~ :D

08-25-2002, 06:47 PM
please!!!!!! go on with the story please!!!

go kimmie
go lleyton
go xavier
go justine
go elke
go jelena
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-25-2002, 07:08 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D This is great, Cilla and Marly! Can't wait to see what happens next!

08-25-2002, 07:51 PM
Originally posted by AtPGiRL
Ok.. I just had to post this b/c I thought it was too funny! I am just picturing him singing about Pandy! ROTF!~ :D

:o ROTFLMFAO :p It really does look like it....Oh Pandy.....:o :p

08-25-2002, 10:57 PM
C'mon guys, go on!!!!!!!
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-27-2002, 02:19 AM
Hey Cilla!!!

Wat is the whole story behind the blue shorts thing?!!? I think it's hilarious neway, cos it makes a D*** outta Tim 'Horseteeth' Henman!!! But, is there really a story behind it?!?!:)


08-27-2002, 03:56 PM
:wavey:Errrr I think there is a story but I've forgotton it :o Someone needs to enlighten me :p

08-27-2002, 04:08 PM
Okay, Here's the story... Henboy approached Escude just before the doubles draw was going to be made at IW and asked Escude if he had any blue shorts. Escude said yes and Henboy replied if he would play doubles with him!

08-27-2002, 04:57 PM
WTF? How the hell do you guys know about that?

08-28-2002, 04:33 AM
LoL Hannah it was all over the news :p But hey we all know how Henman likes to suck up to players, actually he asked Escude that right after Escude spanked his arse :p And then he asked Lleyton to play doubles with him... right after Lleyton spanked his arse :p Was it 6 - 1 6 - 2 in the final ? LoL I'm feeling mean today :o

08-28-2002, 05:20 PM
Well Ana, I guess I'm just clueless cos I seriously never heard anything about that

08-28-2002, 10:56 PM
Rotf... Henman is such a sad gimp!!! He totally licks ass and will NEVER win a slam, nm Wimbledon!!! Not as long as Lleyton's around!!! :D :)

C'mon Lleyton!!! USO and WIMBY CHAMP 2002

08-28-2002, 11:07 PM
Originally posted by Davenport#1
Rotf... Henman is such a sad gimp!!! He totally licks ass and will NEVER win a slam, nm Wimbledon!!! Not as long as Lleyton's around!!! :D :)

C'mon Lleyton!!! USO and WIMBY CHAMP 2002

I like your style :D :bounce:

08-29-2002, 10:47 AM
Sorry guys but I really miss the stories ...... :(
Where are they? I was so curious about the continue

08-29-2002, 05:44 PM
please go on with the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go kimmie
go lleyton
go elke
go xavier
go justine
go jaslyn
go els

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

08-29-2002, 07:36 PM
Oooooooohh!! Please continue!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09-01-2002, 05:24 PM
yeah!! they're great,
PLEASE *sitting on the floor on my knees*
they're the only light in this dark existence :(

09-01-2002, 06:11 PM
Pleassssssse continue!!!!

I'm begging you guys!!! Pleasssssssse

09-01-2002, 06:36 PM
Continueeeeeee!!! Pleaseeeeeeeee!!!

09-02-2002, 04:49 PM
Go on ya guys!!!!!:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

09-02-2002, 07:53 PM
We are gonna keep begging till you continue :p

09-02-2002, 08:42 PM
that's right!! :D

09-02-2002, 09:10 PM
Indeed! :D

09-03-2002, 03:27 AM
Yes, count me in amongst the people begging! Please continue! :bounce: This thread is great! :D

09-03-2002, 03:13 PM
I'm in too guys!!!:D
Pleaeaeaeaeaeaeaeas continue!:bounce:

09-03-2002, 06:29 PM
Pretty Pleasssssssssssse :D

09-04-2002, 02:40 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie

Lleyton: “It’s not the wedding, it’s the groom. I just can’t stop looking at his mole. It’s like a train wreck. Can’t keep your eyes off it.”

Lleyton: “Wait, let me brush my hair.”
Kim: “What hair?”
Lleyton: “Oh, right.”


09-04-2002, 03:00 PM
Thanks!!!! :kiss:

09-05-2002, 03:03 PM
Thanks Peridotpixie!!!
It's great!!:D

09-05-2002, 09:24 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie

Kim: “Yeah, Martina, Lleyton playing with you would truly be a gesture on his part for charity. And I’m sorry, but I just don’t think he’s that giving.

Ouch! lmao! :p You're doing a great job Jilli! :D

09-06-2002, 11:15 AM
great stuff :D :D :D

09-06-2002, 02:59 PM
Great!!! Go on !!!:D :D :D

09-07-2002, 11:51 AM
I love it, I love it, I love it!

09-07-2002, 02:15 PM
This is great!

09-07-2002, 04:25 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Martina: “I figured Anna of all people wouldn’t be one to discriminate based on talent.”


Keep this story going Jilli :D

09-07-2002, 04:41 PM
I love it !!! It's so funny :D

pls continue :bounce:

09-09-2002, 07:30 PM
don't stop :p

09-10-2002, 09:06 AM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Waiter: “Hello!”
Lleyton: “Erm…hi.”
Waiter: “I shall be your waiter tonight. My name is Rrrrrromeo!”

Romeo Beckham?!

09-10-2002, 03:46 PM
Justine: “You think everyone should just wait on you foot and mouth.”
Lleyton: “Um, that’s hand and foot, Justine. Foot and mouth is a cattle disease.”
Justine: “You are trying to make me feel stupid!”
Kim: “Juju, relax, he was just trying to help.”
Justine: “I don’t need any help! You need help! You are the one who is struggling!”
Kim: “Juju! Why are you so upset?”
Justine: “I am not upset. I do not know what you are talking about, for sure.”
Lleyton: “He IS our waiter, so…”
Justine: “He is not just your waiter! He is my waiter, too! Not everything is just yours!”

ROTFLMFAO!!! I can so imagine Ezel being that insufferable too! Foot and Mouth! Stupid Ezel :p Great Job Jilli! (P.S like the subtle hint that Kim gives Lleyt about marriage ;)) Men-Pfffff Clueless :p (Sorry men, but it's true :o :p)

09-10-2002, 04:16 PM
lmao!!! This is so great!!! I love the Ezel stuff, it sounds really like her!!!! Go on :bounce: :D

09-10-2002, 06:37 PM
LMAO :D this is soo funny!

09-10-2002, 08:33 PM
ROTFLMAO at that entire thing :D:D I can't wait for your next installement Jilli ;)

09-10-2002, 08:41 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Justine: “There is no need. Pierre and I are leaving!”
Kim: “Um…Justine…Pierre’s not here.”
Justine: “What are you talking about? He is right here next to me. He travels everywhere with me.”
Lleyton: (under his breath) “Um. Right. Psycho…”
Kim: (to Lleyton) “Shhh.” (To Justine) “Yes, Justine, I know he does, but, well, no one ever sees him, somehow.”
Justine: “That is ridiculous. I can see him.”
Kim: “Well…that’s good.”
Justine: “And we are leaving, for sure.”
(Justine leaves the table)

Sheer brilliance!:D

09-11-2002, 10:54 PM

09-11-2002, 10:57 PM
ROTFLMAO at the whole thing! :D :D Great job Jilli!

09-12-2002, 06:59 AM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Andy: “No, his country! Doesn’t he realize I will NEVER lose in the Davis cup? I’m undefeated! I’m Andy Roddick!”
Kim: “Oh my God, are you really? Oh! Sign my arm!”
Andy: (pulls out a marker) “Sure, babe.”
Lleyton: “Stay the hell away from her, Roddick.”
Andy: “It’s not my fault she wants a little Andy-loving!”

OMG ROTFL @ Perv Central Pandy :o

Andy: “Are you an absolute moron?!”
(Lleyton busies himself by intently fixing woven strings on tablecloth, Kim bites her lip and looks nervous)
Andy: “If you said that you 100% could do this, you were lying! Liar! How could you DO this? How could you do this at 8:15 on a Saturday night?! On the far side of the dining room?! What ARE you?!”

That one is CLASSIC ;)

(He gets up and follows waiter, still yelling, but in his excited state fails to notice Jim Courier, following him around kissing the ground he is walking on, and trips on him, which causes him to sail onto the table holding the presents and knock it over)

And sooooo true! lmao!

Kim: “What did we do to deserve this?”
Lleyton: “You? Nothing. Me…well…”
Kim: “It’s just part of how you play! And part of why I love you!”
Lleyton: “I bet the ATP is running this event.”

lmaooooooooo this is the best one YET! Go Jilli! :D

09-13-2002, 04:04 PM
ROTFL!!!!!!! :D
Go on!!!!

09-13-2002, 10:17 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Kim: “Don’t you dare! You’ll catch something and have to miss more Davis Cup ties, causing them to lose horribly!”
Lleyton: “Don’t be silly. What could I possibly catch from him? Stupidity isn’t contagious.”

Touche! :D ROTFL! :D

09-15-2002, 03:39 PM
LoL post more :D Poor Robby:( :p

09-16-2002, 04:54 PM
Originally posted by Peridotpixie
Lleyton: “Always. But I can’t be around all the time. I think it’s time we hired you your own companion.”
Kim: “Ooh, can I have Hayden’s brother?”
Lleyton: “A FEMALE companion.”
Kim: “Oh, ok. Amelie knows a few people who really know how to have a good time.”
Lleyton: “Never mind. I take it back. You have me.”

hahaha LOL!:D

09-16-2002, 05:42 PM
Martina: “Being Anna’s doubles partner has shown me what it is like to be in a sharing, giving relationship with her. And now I feel prepared to give Enrique this advice--Enrique: Be patient, speak slowly and use small words, buy acne medication wholesale at the drugstore, and, overall, get a good lawyer.”

Martina: “The thing that really impresses me about Anna is how well she copes with losing. She just ignores it and moves on to her next photo shoot. I know I could never do that. And, well, no one can say she’s a sore winner, that’s for sure!”

Martina: “Enrique, I give it two months. You have my number.”

ROTFL @ Martina! :D

09-16-2002, 07:06 PM
Oh my! ROFL! Wow! This is just way too good!

09-16-2002, 07:17 PM
ROFL!!! Great job!!!! :D

09-16-2002, 07:34 PM

I'd quote my favorite section but it's all just too good :D Keep it coming Jilli, it's great :D

09-19-2002, 12:29 AM
*wipes tear from eye* ROTFLMAO :D

09-19-2002, 10:57 AM
ROTFLMFAO! :D All the characters are soooo good! :D

09-21-2002, 03:51 PM
LMAO , great:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

09-21-2002, 07:22 PM

09-22-2002, 06:14 AM
LMAO at the Crows comment :D :D

09-22-2002, 11:33 AM
That was so funny. The Crows line was just brilliant.

09-22-2002, 04:01 PM
LMAO @ All of it but LMAO even more @ The Crows comment coz it's so true :o

Great Cliffhanger Jilli! :D Looking forward to how this one turns out ;)

09-22-2002, 05:23 PM
ROTFLMAO! :sad: (that's me crying with laughter btw)

09-22-2002, 05:57 PM
ROTFLMOA!!!!! Great job!
Go on!!!! :D