Court hunks too sexy for their shorts (article) [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Court hunks too sexy for their shorts (article)

Deboogle!.
01-11-2004, 10:31 PM
Court hunks too sexy for their shorts
Comment by Jeff Wells
January 12, 2004

WE'VE got the drugs. We've got the sex. Now let's rock 'n roll.

We're talking, metaphorically, about men's tennis 2004. Not hoping that John McEnroe or Pat Cash ever reappear with a guitar.

The drugs is the easy headline. Greg Rusedski, like a legion of athletes in different sports, has tested positive to the steroid nandrolone and claims 46 other players have done the same. It goes back to last July and ATP trainers had been unwittingly guilty of handing it out in supplements and tablets.

He has his hearing next month and could get two years. He is innocent until the tribunal finds him guilty. Yesterday at the adidas International Lleyton Hewitt said he wasn't a great mate of Greg's but would still "say hello". Rusedski came in and wasted time by making a statement to the same effect and refusing to answer questions - like what was his lawyer's phone number.

But it looks like we're stuck with the story, like a bad smell.

Now the sex. Sadly I came off a bad second best in a bruising interview room encounter with Hewitt on the subject. I was wearing a hat very popular along Oxford St and most of the local and international media left the tent thinking that I had become the gay lover of tennis media hunk John Thirsk - not that there's anything wrong with it -- who was sitting very close to me, baring his famously tanned thighs, in a very fetching pair of polyester-spandex Nike Andrew Ilie-autograph shorts with the little AFL cutaway on the sides.

My point was very simple. For years the WTA had been getting away with marketing their players as sex symbols, including some very strange people like Serena Williams, who is straight out of one of those R.Crumb "let's boogie" style comics from the 60s. We're talking about some big bulges, baby.

Now the women are fading fast and the Julios are taking over the men's tour. At number one we have Randy Andy Roddick. Great name. Then Big Roger Federer, who now has his own brand of RF Cosmetics, inspired by the pet cow he milked after winning Wimbledon. Then there is Juan Carlos "El Gel" Ferrero, and the great knob-head Mr Steffi Graf, who also has his own cologne called Andre Agassi's Aramis Life, named after a famous swordsman.

Lleyton is, unfortunately, spoken for but we can also parade The Poo. Is there a better looking man on the planet? Personally, he has grave doubts. American James Blake used to have the dreadlocks because he hated combing his hair. Now he still doesn't comb. He's bald as a billiard ball and the girls are going wild.

Frankly it is not even a contest any more. The boys are everywhere. RA Rod has made his acting debut on Saturday Night Live and magazines like Elle, GQ and Vogue - let alone the wristier sweaty body rags - have been queuing up for any male who can hold a racquet. Woman's Day may be doing a Fred Stolle centre spread.

The new ATP guide even has a picture of Ferrero at Real Madrid up close and personal with David Beckham and holding one of Becks' ... well, it appears to be some kind of soccer ball.

On and on it goes. The new ATP magazine Deuce has been described as more Vanity Fair than Sports Illustrated. Tim Henman is forever on the catwalk. And probably falling off. The WTA is in shreds. It's all over when there ain't no Kournikova.

Clearly, I put it to Hewitt, the challenge to the women had been well and truly issued. The women had been blatantly peddling sex.

"Do you like that?" he sneered, noting my very close proximity to the pulsating Thirsk.

"Certainly not," I said. Big mistake. I only meant that I'd always figured tennis ought to be promoted on talent alone.

"Thirsky does," he said.

"Thirsky and I are very close," I said. Bigger mistake. Now he had me pegged all right. Everybody had. So I droned on with a list of the top players and what a bunch of spunks they all were.

"All very sexy guys," I said. "Have the men really caught up with the women?"

"Are we? I don't know mate," he said. He didn't know, he said, if marketing sexy men, if talking about men's sex appeal, would be a positive, or draw bigger crowds. 'Someone like yourself," he winked, "you prefer not to see it." Obviously he was hinting that I couldn't see past a certain colleague.

Well, there you go. The ATP goes to extraordinary lengths to portray its new young guns as the ultimate hornbags. And this little goose, just because he has this fabulous fiancee Kim - who is a lot better than Kath - and loves nothing more than annoying the ATP won't give me a decent story and ruins my reputation into the bargain.

So he got up and left. And I noticed one thing. Thirsky had better legs anyway.

wellsj@dailytelegraph.com.au

The Daily Telegraph

Leo
01-11-2004, 11:08 PM
Hilarious article. Good find, bunkie. :)

J. Corwin
01-11-2004, 11:12 PM
funny read :)

MisterQ
01-11-2004, 11:16 PM
LOL what a wacky article :lol:

Deboogle!.
01-11-2004, 11:25 PM
lol glad you guys were amused as I was :)

tangerine_dream
01-12-2004, 12:18 AM
:haha: 'bout damn time the ATP sexed up their image anyways, and you can't find a better-looking group of players to do it. :angel:

Deboogle!.
01-12-2004, 12:36 AM
that's true.... most of the "New Balls" are pretty darn attractive as well as talented, aren't they

Sjengster
01-12-2004, 12:58 AM
that's true.... most of the "New Balls" are pretty darn attractive as well as talented, aren't they

And out of all them, Hewitt scores highest in both departments!

Deboogle!.
01-12-2004, 01:04 AM
well now that's awfully subjective lol

star
01-12-2004, 01:05 AM
Really subjective! Although I think Lleyton gets better and better looking with age. :)

Sjengster
01-12-2004, 01:06 AM
Yes, he really is a fine wine isn't he? Ripening and maturing as the seasons progress, passing from his uncertain adolescence into a period of rich full-bodied bloom... who would have thought Rusty could inspire me to wax lyrical in this manner?

star
01-12-2004, 01:07 AM
Sjengster, look at your CP

Sjengster
01-12-2004, 01:10 AM
For the moment there star I thought some negative rep was coming my way after the debacle surrounding my "pudgy" jab at Clijsters some weeks ago. But thank you, and for your information my thoughts (well, scribblings) on the article are already there...

star
01-12-2004, 01:24 AM
lol....... I would never do that! I think I gave a bad rep once and that was enough to let me know that it was stupid. :)

Just because I disagree with someone doesn't mean I don't like them.

Deboogle!.
01-12-2004, 01:25 AM
Really subjective! Although I think Lleyton gets better and better looking with age. :)

oh yep, definitely agree :)

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 01:29 AM
Something about Hewitt's face bothers me. I think it's his nose. And his chin. And that general scowl that he sports. He has nice eyes, though, so it's not a total loss.

Ma. Estefania
01-12-2004, 02:24 AM
oh yep, definitely agree :)

Me too....I admit I couldn't tolerate him when he had yet that awful long hair, but yeah...he's getting better with age. ;)

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 02:48 AM
I really have no idea on who is handsome and who isnt.

I know Radek is ugly, because that is evident, he is an extreme example, but I really do not understand why girls find Roddick, Hewitt or Coria atractive and not Jiri Novak for example.

Ma. Estefania
01-12-2004, 02:53 AM
Well, I can't give you a good explanation, coz I believe that it's all about people's tastes, but I put Roddick and Hewitt (though I don't like them that much) in the category of "attractive" coz they've "something"....don't know what is it, but they have something.

About Guille, honestly I don't find him attractive, he's just a cutie, you know, he looks like a little kid, and I find that CUTE! :hearts:

And Jiri...well, he's got a sort of baby's fave IMO, but...sorry, he's not my type. I think Magnus has a sort of baby face too, but I do like him...why? don't know! but he drives me crazy! :hearts:

Anyway....it's complicated, TennisL. ;)

Deboogle!.
01-12-2004, 03:02 AM
I know Radek is ugly, because that is evident, he is an extreme example, but I really do not understand why girls find Roddick, Hewitt or Coria atractive and not Jiri Novak for example.

Well I think all 4 of them are attractive, but all for very different reasons. Andy has that boyish good looking thing, Hewitt too but he's getting much more manly hot as he gets older, Coria is just absolutely cute as a button (as long as he has short hair ;) ) and Novak is that sort of tall stately handsome type.

You didn't really want that much detail, I am sure!

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 03:14 AM
I guess my real problem is not knowing why girls dont find me as atractive as them (...bastards)

:P

Deboogle!.
01-12-2004, 03:17 AM
ohhhhhhhh... well can't help you there, sorry lol

Ma. Estefania
01-12-2004, 03:22 AM
LOL@TennisL. :p

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 03:55 AM
I guess my real problem is not knowing why girls dont find me as atractive as them (...bastards)

:P
Awwwwww :kiss:

There there *pats TL on the shoulder symathetically*

Surely you understand what's attractive about Ferrero? He had good hair this week ;)

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 04:37 AM
Yeah, I understand.

Anyway, I hope Mantilla will beat him this weeks for the first time.
They usually play tough three sets matches but Ferrero is always the winner.

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 04:41 AM
Do they play in the first round?

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 04:44 AM
No, but I think they are close in the draw.

Action Jackson
01-12-2004, 04:44 AM
No, Ferrero plays Guccione a huge serving lefty and Mantilla plays Gasquet.

Action Jackson
01-12-2004, 04:46 AM
If Ferrero wins he plays the winner of Blake and Ferreira.

If Mantilla wins he plays the winner of Massu and Reid.

Action Jackson
01-12-2004, 04:49 AM
Originally posted by TennisLurker
I guess my real problem is not knowing why girls dont find me as atractive as them (...bastards)

I totally feel your pain, I was lucky enough to realise from the age of 4 that I didn't have a chance at all of living off my looks. So I had to develop in other areas, and have been just as unsuccessful as I was before.

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 05:01 AM
Yeah, I know.

Action Jackson
01-12-2004, 05:04 AM
Anyway Lurker when I go to the Australian Open, I will cheer on the forgotten Spaniard for you, and myself of course.

TennisLurker
01-12-2004, 05:14 AM
I will follow the Aussie open too, we get live tennis here, even if we have to stay awake till 4 am.
This week they will show Auckland from the quarterfinals to the final, it starts at 1 am.

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 05:23 AM
I totally feel your pain, I was lucky enough to realise from the age of 4 that I didn't have a chance at all of living off my looks. So I had to develop in other areas, and have been just as unsuccessful as I was before.
Awww.

I'm not cute enough to float through life by being cute either ;) Frankly, I think that would be boring anyways... so it's all good!

Action Jackson
01-12-2004, 05:28 AM
At least I was cutting and eating my steak when I was 2 and thanks for caring Rebecca.

Getiing back to the topic how are such ruggedly handsome men like Koubek, Vicente, Gaudio, Zabaleta not been considered in this too sexy for their shorts campaign.

CooCooCachoo
01-12-2004, 05:45 AM
Great article :D :D :D Very funny!

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 05:47 AM
Getiing back to the topic how are such ruggedly handsome men like Koubek, Vicente, Gaudio, Zabaleta not been considered in this too sexy for their shorts campaign.

Koubek has a navel ring! Teehee!

JeLuliA88
01-12-2004, 07:21 AM
lol... hilarious

J. Corwin
01-12-2004, 07:57 AM
Becca knows much. ;)

maratski
01-12-2004, 09:32 AM
Of all men to ask questions about sex appeal it had to be hewitt :haha:

Ma. Estefania
01-12-2004, 07:44 PM
Getiing back to the topic how are such ruggedly handsome men like Koubek, Vicente, Gaudio, Zabaleta not been considered in this too sexy for their shorts campaign.

Ermm... :o well, from those 4, I'd personally choose only Zabaleta....the other ones are not handsome, at least IMO. :cool: He's got great legs. ;)

RogiFan88
01-12-2004, 08:22 PM
Koubek has a navel ring! Teehee!

Well, he IS Mr. Fashionista, after all! ;)

Chloe le Bopper
01-12-2004, 08:53 PM
Becca knows much. ;)
It was actually Hurley who pointed it out... But really, you couldn't miss it. It was bright, sunny, and there was shirtless Koubek practicing ten feet away, his naval ring glimmering in the sun.