Expecting the grass season.. MTF BIOS. Today: Lleyton Hewitt [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Expecting the grass season.. MTF BIOS. Today: Lleyton Hewitt

viruzzz
06-02-2012, 08:07 PM
Hello, folks. I'm Professor Johnny Viruz and I am the host of the new segment: "MTF Bios".

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg62/scaled.php?server=62&filename=mtfbios.png&res=landing


Today:
Lleyton Hewitt
http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg4/scaled.php?server=4&filename=hewitta.png&res=landing


Lleyton Hewitt was born in Adelaide in 1981, he's the son of legendary tennis player and doubles specialist Bob Hewitt.

- What the he..? No! He's n...
- YES HE IS. SHUT UP.

His particular name "Lleyton" with two Ls, is a mispell from Bob Hewitt in the Name-Rater. Bob wanted to name his son "Leyton". But this is what happened there.

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg205/scaled.php?server=205&filename=lleytonh.png&res=landing


Accidents could happen. Bob Hewitt wasn't a perfect man.


Since he was a little boy. Lleyton loved to upset people.
His first upset was with his close friend and doubles partner Max Mirnyi, who was in love with a beautiful belgian girl named Kim. But we're gonna talk about that later.

The blondie boy Lleyton wanted to play tennis since he was a little kid. And that was a good relief. Because Kurt Cobain died, the Back-Street Boys disbanded so, the 90s should end as soon as possible.

Tennis in the 90s was something like this:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qsB6NF-zJAI/T5CYOAXMuaI/AAAAAAAACSs/H9f3Ta1rrM0/s1600/agassi-sampras-primer-titulo.jpghttp://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20040627/sp2.jpghttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QQ0FkuuPj_M/SH_ygIvqtEI/AAAAAAAAAB8/U6Djrq6dH5A/s400/913_tennis.jpghttp://inyourface.ocregister.com/files/2010/11/Boris-Becker-1980-1276704.jpg

"PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!"

That was exactly what Lleyton Hewitt thought when he decided to enter the ATP Tour.
Tennis needed a villain, someone who could DICKslap those pretty bitchy faces.

Tennis needed a Darth Vader.

Tennis needed Lleyton Hewitt.

Lleyton RRRRAPED Sampras in 2001, finishing the 90s era. There was no more Guns n Roses, no more Kurt Cobain, no more Michael Jordan.
There was no more 90s. Only Lleyton.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/07/15/sp_hewitt_1607_wideweb__430x302,1.jpg
"Right in the ass, Pete!"

But tennis is a bitch (Ask Mahut if you don't believe, he once played like 11 hours for nothing), and tennis would hit Lleyton where it hurts the most.
In his heart.

In his brave Lionheart.

The blonde australian fell in love with the most beautiful girl in the world. A belgian blondie named Kim.
http://www.tennisperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Kim-Clijsters-3.jpg

- Wait, wha...? Most beautiful girl? I can name 20 girls prettier than her in WTA.
WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK?! That's why you're posting in MTF and Lleyton is spending his million dollars.


They were so in love. During the, let's name it "Clijsters era", Lleyton was the most succesful player ever. He won Wimbledon and USOpen. The only 2 tournaments that matters in tennis.

http://www.puntodebreak.com/files/clijsters_hewitt.jpg
Love was in the air.


http://www.sitesmexico.com/imagenes-2009/kim-clijsters-5.jpg
Yeahhh! Look at those legs! Are you thinking what i'm thinking?
Oh yeah. Lleyton was a lucky guy. If you know what I mean.


But karma is a bitch. And Pete Sampras wanted revenge for that final.
So, when Lleyton was busy winning some millions, Pete seduced his girlfriend giving her the "forbidden fruit" (If you know what I mean... WIIIINK!!!).

<It seems the Clijsters picture isn't avaliable enough and your computer can get infected if you enter the website where the pic was uploaded, so I deleted it, but it was pretty funny, Kim was looking at the camera showing his hand wide open>
"Sampras could last 5 hours".



Lleyton was so sad. His heart was so broken he lost the Australian Open final vs Safin (Yeah, that was the only reason).

Here is a photo of Lleyton crying after the match:

http://showstalker.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/federer-crying-aus-open-09.jpg

- Wait a sec... That's Roger!

No. That's Lleyton.

- No, dude. That's Roger. Roger Federer.

NO! That's Lleyton, look.

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg339/scaled.php?server=339&filename=fedlleyton.png&res=landing

You see? Lleyton.


Lleyton was so sad he couldn't play tennis anymore. (well, he played some crappy matches, but that's not tennis, come on! That is... Let's call it: Wozniacki).

And he was never the same...

THE END!


What? You expected a happy ending? Fuck you.



Well folks. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter of MTF Bios.
I'm Professor Johnny Viruz and keep enjoying your life.



MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!




- WHAT?! It's the middle of June!!!



http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg26/scaled.php?server=26&filename=hewittnaivdad.jpg&res=landing

Merry XMAS!!!

Certinfy
06-02-2012, 08:09 PM
Oh Lord! Made me smile and laugh! :yeah: :rolls: :)

ossie
06-02-2012, 08:11 PM
mug

viruzzz
06-02-2012, 08:24 PM
mug

Best damn post I've ever read on MTF. You should be awarded for being a genius. Some of us out here noticed it and appreciated it.

samanosuke
06-02-2012, 08:41 PM
quality stuff mate :yeah:

STUHL
06-02-2012, 08:41 PM
Epic! :spit:

TennisOnWood
06-02-2012, 08:49 PM
Best MTF read today, good job

Armless
06-02-2012, 08:54 PM
Keep 'em coming :D

MTwEeZi
06-02-2012, 08:59 PM
are you on medication?

SaFed2005
06-02-2012, 08:59 PM
OMG too funny!

Wilanderer
06-02-2012, 08:59 PM
Fantastic stuff ! I want MOAR !

david_is_not_fat
06-02-2012, 09:01 PM
Forgot this: 0rf7aSEtsTY
Trascendental in Lley's life

Roamed
06-02-2012, 09:04 PM
Love it, good stuff from you as always! :yeah:

viruzzz
06-02-2012, 09:05 PM
are you on medication?

Nope. I don't even drink or take any drugs.
I just have sense of humour and I have no shame in showing it up.
Also, I use this forum to comment tennis and having fun, not trolling and bashing players.

So, let me explain you...

I'm the kind of poster the forum needs.
How about you?

Gagsquet
06-02-2012, 09:08 PM
I'm an honest person so I'm going to be honest. That's not bad but that's not good too. If you compare it with the average MTF standard, it's worth reading anyway.

sidneythagovou
06-02-2012, 11:26 PM
good stuff!

Johnny Groove
06-02-2012, 11:32 PM
Viruzzz strikes again!

Another top quality thread, mate :yeah: :haha: :spit:

viruzzz
06-02-2012, 11:40 PM
Viruzzz strikes again!

Another top quality thread, mate :yeah: :haha: :spit:

Thx dude.

I recently noted you use the nickname "Professor Johnny Groove".

Let me tell you, there's no offense in there. I actually use the nickname "Profesor Viruz" here in argentina.
And I use Johnny as my nickname in international forums, so "Profesor Johnny Viruz" is something made of those 2 things.
Seriously, no offense in there. Just a pure coincidence. :scratch:

Chase Visa
06-02-2012, 11:41 PM
Gold. :lol:

zlaja777
06-02-2012, 11:51 PM
Not bad, man. Keep it up.

Jamoz
06-02-2012, 11:54 PM
Who is this Lay Ton Hjy Witt? Hmm pretty good stuff Bacte... i mean Virus ;) I give you 7,5 points. :D

leng jai
06-03-2012, 12:46 AM
Too long didn't read. I still giggled. Ajde.

moon language
06-03-2012, 01:40 AM
This should be his official bio on his ATP player page.

Also, I agree he was never the same post-Clijsters.

Looner
06-03-2012, 01:53 AM
OMG, that's Wozniacki and I'm professor Johnny Viruz floored me literally :haha:.

viruzzz
06-03-2012, 03:32 AM
This should be his official bio on his ATP player page.

Also, I agree he was never the same post-Clijsters.

This.

But now I ask... Will you be the same after her?

I mean, she's not a stereotypically sexy chick, but I see her as a very beautiful woman.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SsxoEWOEV3w/TUkJiMbz94I/AAAAAAAAArA/kuqJr_KY0HE/s1600/Kim-Clijsters-at-Melbourne-with-Australian-open-trophy.jpg
"Look, Lleyton. I have the trophy you will never have. I AM AUSSIE KIM"

Mountaindewslave
06-03-2012, 04:23 AM
i like your threads a lot. they are fun and good for a laugh. a nice change from the boring serious bashing on every other thread and most of all I like it because I don't feel the automatic reaction to respond to something dumb written because a thread like this is so good hearted.

keep it up mate!! :]

BroTree123
06-03-2012, 04:28 AM
:rocker2: :rocker2: :rocker2:

TigerTim
06-03-2012, 07:05 AM
:haha: "wait a sec....that's not Lleyton" - inserts terrible paint job :lol:

tripwires
06-03-2012, 07:19 AM
Cute, especially the awful photoshop of Crying Roger. :lol:

Chirag
06-03-2012, 07:25 AM
awesome :worship:

Slade
06-03-2012, 08:35 AM
Good stuff sir.

viruzzz
06-03-2012, 12:30 PM
:haha: "wait a sec....that's not Lleyton" - inserts terrible paint job :lol:

Cute, especially the awful photoshop of Crying Roger. :lol:

Our army of Paparazzis are everywhere. Specially when you think you're safe.

Expect us.
Fear us.

Look at Lleyton then.

BroTree123
06-03-2012, 12:36 PM
When's your next edition?

viruzzz
06-03-2012, 01:10 PM
When's your next edition?

Just stay tuned. When anyone is expecting it, it'd appear from the darkness.