Chuck Norris Facts in Tennis ["Best of" List in Post #1] [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Chuck Norris Facts in Tennis ["Best of" List in Post #1]

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comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 09:26 AM
After his first match on the blue clay of Madrid, Djokovic was quoted as saying:

"To me that's not tennis. Either I come out with football shoes or I invite Chuck Norris to advise me how to play on this court

Then somebody commented saying: Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

So, here it is. Bring your Chuck Norris tennis facts on!


-------

The "Best of" List!




- Chuck Norris doesn't use a racquet; he uses his fists. His backhand is literally his backhand! [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to hit the ball - it sees him coming and turns back. [scoobs]
- Chuck Norris has never netted a ball. The net is smarter than that. [Orka_n]
- Chuck Norris, the only man to ever hit an ace in a return game. [Certinfy]
- Chuck Norris can hit a tweener without opening his legs. [BroTree123]
- Chuck Norris can return aces [TopSpin08]
- Chuck Norris can win tournament after Reed declares him favorite [Taejin] (Simon Reed)
- Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal [Dr. Funkenstein]
- Chuck Norris can play on grass in the second week of Wimbledon [Taejin]
- Chuck Norris can run around his backhand and hit a backhand [Taejin]
- One time Chuck Norris hit a lob. It didn't come down. [Freak3yman84]
- Chuck Norris doesn't hold to love. He holds to agony and despair. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris volleys his opponent's serve. [Slice Winner]
- Chuck Norris can get to 4 consecutive breakpoints. [70-68]
- Chuck Norris once hit a triple fault and still won the point. [Johnny Groove]
- Chuck Norris wears colored outfits in Wimbledon. [70-68]
- Chuck Norris literally chokes his opponents. [Orka_n]
- Chuck Norris can hit a dropshot with 160km/h. [greenberetta]
- Chuck Norris is winning US Open in Paris every year. [JurajCrane]
- BYE was invented to protect some players lifes from Chuck Norris matchup. [JurajCrane]
- When Chuck Norris breaks a racquet, it turns into ash. [BroTree123]
- Every CN match costs about 50 line judges and 40 ballboys lives... [AlterBridge]
- CN can overrule Hawk eye [AlterBridge]
- Chuck Norris's kick serve is a real kick serve. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris can play a non-handed forehand. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris' body serve has a fatality rate of 100%. [Orka_n]
- Chuck Norris is the first player ever to successfully include controlled "lucky" net cord shots in his repertoire, even on return. [sicko]
- Chuck Norris defended his Wimbledon title with a sword. [MIMIC]
- Arthur Ashe stadium once had a roof, until Chuck Norris threw his racket in the air. [Dr. Funkenstein]
- Chuck Norris can defend his Wimbledon title in Melbourne. [70-68]
- When he is playing, the rain has a Chuck Norris delay. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris can bagel Berlocq twice in the same set. [BauerAlmeida]
- The "moonballing" term came from what Chuck Norris used to do. When you see the dents on the surface of the moon, you will understand. [comesbackatlast]
- After he wins, Chuck Norris throws his opponent to the crowd. [comesbackatlast]
- when the ball hits the netcord the net apologises to chuck norris [TigerTim]
- Chuck Norris once hit a tweener between the legs of his opponent. [Mercury]
- Chuck Norris takes MTOs in order to disrupt his own rhythm. [tektonac]


------


The "Worth Mentioning" list:



- Chuck Norris is the only one to have won a calendar year grand slam by 28 walk-overs! [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris doesn't have a backhand; he just has two forehands. [Slice Winner]
- World Tour Finals qualify for Chuck Norris [Pucho]
- Chuck Norris won the Calendar Year Golden Grand Slam, twice, in a non-Olympic year. [Johnny Groove]
- Chuck Norris once won a BO3 match after being 2 sets down. [sicko]
- When Chuck Norris breaks a player, he doesn't do it to his serve. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris turned pro 1940 - the year he was born. [mystic ice cube]
- Chuck Norris can win a calendar day grand slam. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris defeats EVERY player in the draw when he wins a tournament. [70-68]
- Chuck Norris overrules all the line calls. [GOAT = Fed]
- Chuck Norris' dropshots don't bounce up at all. The ball lands, and just stays there. [70-68]
- Chuck Norris can hit a passing shot from outside the universe. [BroTree123]
- Chuck Norris has more fans on FB than FB has users. [sicko]
- Getting a single drop of Chuck Norris sweat on your skin can cause a positive doping test [MaxPower]
- When Chuck Norris plays bh slice new balls are introduced after the point finishes. [tektonac]
- Chuck Norris' backhand slice literally slices the ball in half. [Slice Winner]
- Chuck Norris can hit an ace with a feather using a paper racquet. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris can hit the kicker, slider and flat serve at the same time. [Action Jackson]
- Chuck Norris can hit a forehand cross-globe. [comesbackatlast]
- Chuck Norris's opponents don't have return stats; they have self-protection stats. [comesbackatlast]

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 09:26 AM
Chuck Norris is the only one to have won a
calendar year grand slam by 28 walk-overs! :)

Deathless Mortal
05-09-2012, 09:35 AM
Chuck Norris once managed to beat Viktor Troicki!

Oh, wait..

70-68
05-09-2012, 09:40 AM
Chuck Norris wins 110% of his service points.

scarecrows
05-09-2012, 09:42 AM
did I mention that I´m not happy with the roundkick king

Kat_YYZ
05-09-2012, 09:43 AM
from yahoo sports :p
http://media.zenfs.com/en/blogs/sptustenexperts/chuck-novak.jpg

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 10:02 AM
When Chuck Norris plays, the umpire calls for new balls after every point.

Kat_YYZ
05-09-2012, 10:10 AM
Slow and unreliable Hawkeye technology is switched off during his matches :shrug:

asmazif
05-09-2012, 10:13 AM
When Chuck Norris plays tennis, he generally loses.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 10:17 AM
Slow and unreliable Hawkeye technology is switched off during his matches :shrug:

Right. They bring sensors from CERN. :)

MIMIC
05-09-2012, 10:17 AM
London calls Chuck Norris.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 10:44 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't use a racquet; he uses his fists.

His backhand is literally his backhand!

Kat_YYZ
05-09-2012, 10:47 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't use a racquet; he uses his fists.

His backhand is literally his backhand!
:lol: :worship:

Or if he does use a racquet, he strings it with the guts of his last opponent. :p

scoobs
05-09-2012, 10:50 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't need to hit the ball - it sees him coming and turns back.

Deathless Mortal
05-09-2012, 10:53 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't need to hit the ball - it sees him coming and turns back.

See, that's how you do it.
First good one :yeah:

sirwilliam
05-09-2012, 11:01 AM
http://www.mycityrocks.com/images/houston/07_04_14norris/IMG_8197sm.jpg
Comin' at you!!!

sirwilliam
05-09-2012, 11:03 AM
http://www.mycityrocks.com/images/houston/07_04_14norris/IMG_8160sm.jpg

(less frightening in this one, looks like my dad)

Orka_n
05-09-2012, 11:20 AM
Chuck Norris has never netted a ball. The net is smarter than that.

BauerAlmeida
05-09-2012, 11:59 AM
Chuck Norris could coach Murray and make him win a Slam.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 12:02 PM
Chuck Norris could coach Murray and make him win a Slam.

No, he couldn't. Be realistic.

Deathless Mortal
05-09-2012, 12:05 PM
No, he couldn't. Be realistic.

:haha: :haha:

Certinfy
05-09-2012, 12:16 PM
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever lose to BYE.

RoddickFan88
05-09-2012, 12:35 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't need to use challenge....when he says "In or "Out" the umpire must deal with it and confirm Chuck's call.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 12:51 PM
With Chuck Norris, there is no ball bounce. Once the ball touches the court, it grabs hold and never lets go.

Chirag
05-09-2012, 12:52 PM
No, he couldn't. Be realistic.

well he can do the impossible :shrug:

Certinfy
05-09-2012, 12:53 PM
Chuck Norris, the only man to ever hit an ace in a return game.

MaxPower
05-09-2012, 12:56 PM
Chuck Norris won the calendar grand slam in doubles without dropping a game....alone

70-68
05-09-2012, 12:56 PM
I heard that Chuck Norris' tennis name is Chris Guccione.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 01:03 PM
well he can do the impossible :shrug:

Not THAT kind of impossible. Chuck Norris would nod in humility and walk away.

RoddickFan88
05-09-2012, 01:15 PM
Want to win "Chuck Norris Slam"? Let's win five slams in one year.

SVK
05-09-2012, 01:32 PM
I beat a brick wall in tennis. Chuck Norris is weak.

Alex999
05-09-2012, 01:50 PM
lol, hilarious thread. I don't know how Nole came up with Chuck Norris. too funny.

Pirata.
05-09-2012, 02:08 PM
Chuck Norris jokes :facepalm:

Federer in 2
05-09-2012, 02:27 PM
Current #4 Murray won Madrid open in 2008, current #3 Federer won in 2009, current #2 Nadal won in 2010, Current #1 Djokovic won in 2011.
Chuck Norris will obviously win in 2012.

Federer in 2
05-09-2012, 03:27 PM
Chuck Norris is the first ever to hit a drive-volley tweener on championship point.

BroTree123
05-09-2012, 03:35 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a tweener without opening his legs.

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 03:58 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't warm up to be able to play; he cools down.

Foxy
05-09-2012, 04:04 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a moonball ace.
Chuck Norris can play with his racquet holden by his foot and his "footwork" is basically a handwork.

70-68
05-09-2012, 04:15 PM
The ITF is thinking about replacing hawkeye with Chuck Norris, for even better accuracy.

cobalt60
05-09-2012, 04:17 PM
Chuck Norris reads MTF

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 05:01 PM
When Chuck Norris hits through the court, he doesn't do it horizontally.

erickmartins
05-09-2012, 05:55 PM
It's 2004 again, congrats everyone

TopSpin08
05-09-2012, 06:01 PM
Chuck Norris can return aces

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 06:06 PM
Chuck Norris can return aces

:D

Alex999
05-09-2012, 06:14 PM
lol,... Chuck can return aces, love it, lol ... too good

samanosuke
05-09-2012, 06:23 PM
Chuck Norris moonballed Nadal

Chuck Norris gave time violation penalty to Nadal

EddieNero
05-09-2012, 06:26 PM
Chuck Norris cheats more than Nadal.

Alex999
05-09-2012, 06:27 PM
Chuck Norris moonballed Nadal
that's not possible. hm, we need to involve Bruce Lee in this conversation ;).

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 06:34 PM
that's not possible. hm, we need to involve Bruce Lee in this conversation ;).

If a man could do it, he would be Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris alone.

Time Violation
05-09-2012, 06:40 PM
Chuck Norris can win tournament after Reed declares him favorite

v-money
05-09-2012, 06:45 PM
Djokovic has a good point...Chuck Norris doesn't slide on clay, instead the earth rotates below his feet from Chuck changing directions.

samanosuke
05-09-2012, 06:45 PM
Chuck Norris can win tournament after Reed declares him favorite

without exaggeration please

Gagsquet
05-09-2012, 06:47 PM
Can CN outsex Stepanek?

v-money
05-09-2012, 06:53 PM
Chuck Norris' opponents are always grateful to him from restraining to break their hands at the end of match handshake.

yesh222
05-09-2012, 06:54 PM
Chuck Norris once played against Fabio Fognini. The only umpire who could handle it was the Dos Equis guy.

EddieNero
05-09-2012, 06:54 PM
Chuck Norris showed two middle fingers to Tipsarevic.

Time Violation
05-09-2012, 06:54 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't towel between points

Dr. Frankenfed
05-09-2012, 07:00 PM
Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

Deathless Mortal
05-09-2012, 07:10 PM
Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

:haha: :haha:

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 07:12 PM
Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

:lol:

EddieNero
05-09-2012, 07:12 PM
Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

be realistic

Time Violation
05-09-2012, 07:34 PM
Chuck Norris can play on grass in the second week of Wimbledon

Chuck Norris can run around his backhand and hit a backhand

Chuck Norris can put Nadal and Federer in the same half

comesbackatlast
05-09-2012, 07:37 PM
Chuck Norris can play on grass in the second week of Wimbledon

Chuck Norris can run around his backhand and hit a backhand

Chuck Norris can put Nadal and Federer in the same half

You're getting high. :)

BauerAlmeida
05-09-2012, 08:06 PM
Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

:worship::worship:




But only if Nadal doesn't care about the match /Rafatard Mode OFF/

samanosuke
05-09-2012, 08:12 PM
Chuck Norris succeeded to teach Fed how to return

HattonWBA
05-09-2012, 08:20 PM
Chuck Norris scared Nadal into complying with time regulations

Orka_n
05-09-2012, 08:21 PM
Chuck Norris cannot be bribed by Uncle Toni

mystic ice cube
05-09-2012, 08:28 PM
Chuck Norris convinced the umpire he was wrong.

Monfils
05-09-2012, 09:05 PM
It's not Chuck Norris who asks the hawk-eye, it is the hawk eye who asks to Chuck Norris.

RIboy
05-09-2012, 09:09 PM
Chuck Norris is more arrogant than Federer

EddieNero
05-09-2012, 09:19 PM
Chuck Norris has worse second serve slice return than Federer.

hiperborejac
05-09-2012, 10:06 PM
Chuck Norris hits better top spin than Nadal with baseball bat.

Certinfy
05-09-2012, 10:08 PM
Chuck Norris bounces the ball before returning.

Gagsquet
05-09-2012, 10:09 PM
Chuck Norris is happy with the Clay Warrior.

Slice Winner
05-09-2012, 10:11 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't have a backhand; he just has two forehands.

Pirata.
05-09-2012, 10:27 PM
It's 2004 again, congrats everyone

:yeah:

Freak3yman84
05-09-2012, 10:28 PM
One time Chuck Norris hit a lob. It didn't come down.

LastRocket
05-09-2012, 10:29 PM
When Chuck Norris needs to push hard he calls murray

Arakasi
05-09-2012, 10:32 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't use a racquet; he uses his fists.

His backhand is literally his backhand!

:lol: :worship:

Henry Chinaski
05-09-2012, 10:39 PM
some gems in here.

Alex999
05-09-2012, 10:53 PM
some gems in here.
lol, one of the best threads ever on MTF. there are guys here who have an amazing sense of humor. I, usually criticize (some posters) here for their stupidity, but this is awesome :lol::lol::lol::clap2:

Gagsquet
05-09-2012, 10:57 PM
Chuck Norris can return aces

Brilliant :worship:

sfar
05-09-2012, 11:02 PM
Once Chuck Norris' serve hit the net. The ball is still stuck in the net.

UsD.AnDreS
05-09-2012, 11:20 PM
Once Chuck predicted that Simon Reed would make a correct prediction.





It didn't work.

fast_clay
05-09-2012, 11:35 PM
Umpire: "Norris has unlimited challenges remaining"

Federer in 2
05-09-2012, 11:45 PM
Chuck Norris can win AO, RG and Wimbledon in a fifth set tie-break.

Federer in 2
05-09-2012, 11:48 PM
Chuck Norris can lose a set to Murray in a GS final.

Gagsquet
05-09-2012, 11:51 PM
Chuck Norris can beat injured Fognini (in five though).

Federer in 2
05-09-2012, 11:53 PM
Chuck Norris can beat healthy Nadal

masterclass
05-10-2012, 12:05 AM
lol, hilarious thread. I don't know how Nole came up with Chuck Norris. too funny.

Mr. Alex, the reason Mr. Djokovic came up with Chuck Norris is that when Novak was a boy, his late grandfather (God rest his soul) showed young Novak video clips of Chuck Norris winning the 1984 Olympic Figure Skating event in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia without ice skates. His movement was so good on ice, he didn't need them.

Chuck used razor blades in his boots to cut figures in the compulsory portion of the event. He is the only man alive to ever complete a quintuple axel jump while knocking out a judge (who gave him less than a perfect mark) in the same competition.:worship:

Why do you think he wants Chuck's advice?

Respectfully,
masterclass

BauerAlmeida
05-10-2012, 12:12 AM
Chuck Norris can lose a set to Murray in a GS final.


:haha::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

Pucho
05-10-2012, 12:21 AM
World Tour Finals qualify for Chuck Norris

Johnny Groove
05-10-2012, 12:24 AM
Chuck Norris won the Calendar Year Golden Grand Slam, twice, in a non-Olympic year.

Federer in 2
05-10-2012, 12:27 AM
Chuck Norris beat Nadal 6-0 6-0 using only his one-handed backhand.

tennizen
05-10-2012, 12:30 AM
When Rafa says Chuck Norris is the favorite in their match at RG/MonteCarlo/Barcelona, he won't be lying.

Federer in 2
05-10-2012, 12:30 AM
Chuck Norris can outtrick Fabrice Santoro.

Federer in 2
05-10-2012, 12:33 AM
Chuck Norris can win a service game while winning points only from the deuce side.

Mark Lenders
05-10-2012, 12:35 AM
Chuck Norris can lose a set to Murray in a GS final.

Let's no go overboard. Not even Chuck Norris can do that.

Freak3yman84
05-10-2012, 12:36 AM
World Tour Finals qualify for Chuck Norris

:worship::worship::worship::worship::worship:

n8
05-10-2012, 02:01 AM
Chuck Norris can beat Nalbandian in a burger eating contest.
Chuck Norris can win from 0-6 0-5* without the need for a choke or tank.
Chuck Norris can hit a tweener drop shot for a winner.

BroTree123
05-10-2012, 04:09 AM
Chuck Norris can win a match without losing a point; with 0% FS in, 0% FS won, 0 winners, 0 UEs and 0 net points won.

Topspindoctor
05-10-2012, 04:10 AM
Jesus walks on the water. Chuck Norris swims through the land.

SelvenluvJo
05-10-2012, 04:49 AM
Chuck Norris gets a mix-double gold at Olympic games with........ Dolgopolov.
http://apuestastenis.com.es/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/dolgopolov.jpg

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 05:58 AM
Chuck Norris can play a three-handed backhand.

sfar
05-10-2012, 07:40 AM
Chuck Norris likes blue clay.

BroTree123
05-10-2012, 07:43 AM
Chuck Norris can win a match after losing it.

70-68
05-10-2012, 08:03 AM
Chuck Norris knows what was the strongest and weakest era in tennis.

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 08:07 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't hold to love. He holds to agony and despair.

BroTree123
05-10-2012, 08:08 AM
Chuck Norris: "Nadal's era was the strongest. Federer and Djokovic's era is the weakest."

MaxPower
05-10-2012, 08:37 AM
A coach tried to get young Chuck Norris to play left-handed. Chuck Norris killed him with his left hand

cocrcici
05-10-2012, 09:17 AM
Chuck Norris can turn samanosuke to be Nadal fan.

TBkeeper
05-10-2012, 09:29 AM
Chuck Norris can teach Davydenko how not to choke a French open semi-final!

Slice Winner
05-10-2012, 09:38 AM
Chuck Norris volleys his opponent's serve.

SelvenluvJo
05-10-2012, 09:41 AM
Chuck Norris volleys his opponent's serve.

:haha::haha: :worship:

Deathless Mortal
05-10-2012, 09:46 AM
Chuck Norris once tanked a match. He still won.

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 09:54 AM
Challenger shuttle computer log:

00:00:00 Starting...

00:00:54 Start-up complete

00:00:55 Welcome! Have a nice space voyage! What would you like to do?

00:01:12 Searching "Chuck Norris Tennis Rankin............

dudili
05-10-2012, 10:49 AM
Chuck Norris likes blue clay.

:worship::haha:

Thunderfish8
05-10-2012, 10:54 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't hold to love. He holds to agony and despair.

by far the best post in this thread yet :worship:

justine&coria
05-10-2012, 11:00 AM
Chuck Norris can lose a set to Murray in a GS final.
The best :devil:

EliSter
05-10-2012, 12:45 PM
Lmao some of the instant classics here.

samanosuke
05-10-2012, 12:52 PM
Chuck Norris read MTF and stayed Chuck Norris

JediFed
05-10-2012, 01:40 PM
Chuck Norris can beat healthy Nadal

The rest I could believe - but this? Beyond the impossible.

Johnny Groove
05-10-2012, 01:47 PM
Chuck Norris could get a sex change and play the tour as a woman. He'd still be top 5.

Johnny Groove
05-10-2012, 01:48 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't wear Nike, Nike wears Chuck Norris.

Slice Winner
05-10-2012, 04:39 PM
Chuck Norris once broke Guccione's serve.

TopSpin08
05-10-2012, 04:49 PM
This thread :worship:
We should make a summary

70-68
05-10-2012, 04:51 PM
Chuck Norris is coaching Verdasco in Madrid.

Shirogane
05-10-2012, 05:25 PM
:worship:

I should have known there would be a thread like this after reading about Djokovic's comments. :lol:

sicko
05-10-2012, 05:28 PM
Chuck Norris once won a BO3 match after being 2 sets down.

Hian-GOAT
05-10-2012, 05:32 PM
Chuck Norris can moonball more than Nadal if he wants.

Chuck Norris could beat everyone, except Di Mauro.

Chuck Norris wins Wimbledon final by defeating Roger 6-0 6-0 6-0.

Chuck Norris can win a doubles match alone.

Johnbert
05-10-2012, 05:33 PM
Chuck Norris once won a BO3 match after being 2 sets down.

:D

Lestat
05-10-2012, 05:36 PM
chuck norris can roast a pig faster than Verdasco... oh no, there are things that not even mr. norris can do.
:haha:

70-68
05-10-2012, 05:46 PM
Chuck Norris can get to 4 consecutive breakpoints.

EddieNero
05-10-2012, 05:49 PM
Chuck Norris whines more about blue clay than Nadal.

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 05:55 PM
When Chuck Norris breaks a player, he doesn't do it to his serve.

BroTree123
05-10-2012, 05:58 PM
Chuck Norris took over when Nando was 2-5* down against Nadal.

robinpirate
05-10-2012, 06:40 PM
this has to be the thread of the year!

Chuck Norris won a slam wearing a wig

Przemek
05-10-2012, 07:46 PM
Chuck Norris is almost as good as Simon Reed.

Johnbert
05-10-2012, 07:58 PM
chuck norris hits a tweener-winner against federer

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 08:25 PM
Chuck Norris's off-season is 3 minutes.

Zare1
05-10-2012, 08:30 PM
chuck norris didn't know it was a wig

Orka_n
05-10-2012, 08:38 PM
Chuck Norris' wigs are the actual scalps of his previous opponents in tennis.

sfar
05-10-2012, 08:39 PM
Chuck Norris literally breaks his opponents.

EddieNero
05-10-2012, 08:41 PM
Chuck Norris believes Mens Tennis is heading into right direction.

comesbackatlast
05-10-2012, 08:49 PM
Chuck Norris literally breaks his opponents.

Please, check previous posts before posting yourself so as not to repeat. (Last post of page 9; #135).

Thanks. :)

tektonac
05-10-2012, 08:54 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't whine over surface homogenization.

STUHL
05-10-2012, 09:00 PM
Chuck Norris is able to turn german players into mental giants!

sicko
05-10-2012, 09:08 PM
Chuck Norris can win a tie-break with only 1 point differential.

Chuck Norris once served so hard that the ball stuck into a hardcourt.

Chuck Norris can DF and still win the point.

fast_clay
05-10-2012, 09:13 PM
blue clay is made of smurfs... crushed by Chuck Norris

70-68
05-10-2012, 09:19 PM
Chuck Norris knows how they rig the draws and who dopes.

delpiero7
05-10-2012, 09:24 PM
Top 3 so far IMHO:

World Tour Finals qualify for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris bounces the ball before returning.

Chuck Norris can win tournament after Reed declares him favorite


Honourable mentions go to:

Chuck Norris, the only man to ever hit an ace in a return game.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to hit the ball - it sees him coming and turns back.

Chuck Norris can beat a healthy Nadal

Chuck Norris doesn't hold to love. He holds to agony and despair.

mystic ice cube
05-10-2012, 09:30 PM
Chuck Norris does not use the racket, he uses the force.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold to love. He holds to agony and despair.
xD

Some really good ones here.

Orka_n
05-10-2012, 09:37 PM
There is no need for ballkids during Chuck Norris matches. One look from Chuck makes the balls run away on their own.

octatennis
05-10-2012, 09:59 PM
Chuck Norris can dope and get caught by the ITF.

v-money
05-10-2012, 10:02 PM
Chuck Norris once fixed a match, but it's alright because he donated the money to charity.

tnosugar
05-10-2012, 11:14 PM
Chuck Norris plays every ATP event on tour. Chuck Norris does not rest between games and sets, but continues playing against a ball gun while the opponent is resting. He also eats loads of gluten, never drinks water or energizers during a match.
He can also shift his racquet from one hand to another during a point, so he always hits a forehand (he's ambidextrous of course). He doesn't move on court, just gesticulates with his finger with a 'come here' motion, and the ball sites perfectly for his forehand winners.

Coolio_Jack
05-10-2012, 11:31 PM
Chuck Norris chokes his chokes.

Gagsquet
05-11-2012, 12:12 AM
Once Chuck Norris witnessed a Dimitrov moment.

Chuck Norris can outfootfault Fognini.

v-money
05-11-2012, 12:24 AM
Chuck Norris can outfootfault Fognini.

Disagree. Chuck Norris doesn't foot fault because the line hide from the fear of Chuck stomping on them.

Johnny Groove
05-11-2012, 03:02 AM
Chuck Norris once hit a triple fault and still won the point.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 09:11 AM
Chuck Norris always draws the first blood... real blood. Second blood is also from the same guy but later.

sfar
05-11-2012, 09:15 AM
Chuck Norris can only spoon-serve regarding ATP regulations for the safety of other players.

Kat_YYZ
05-11-2012, 09:19 AM
Chuck Norris scares the gluten out of his food before eating.

70-68
05-11-2012, 09:24 AM
Chuck Norris hits backhand serve, that is more effective than Karlovic's or Isner's serve.

Chuck Norris would have won the marathon 6 hour AO final under one hour.

babe
05-11-2012, 09:24 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't need a ball. He plays with his opponents' balls.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 09:26 AM
At the time of the hobbits, all clay courts were blue, but Chuck Norris kept playing on them with his victims until they became red. Tiriac was there. He knows. He tried to revive the secrets of the past, but Chuck is vigilant, and he won't let this pass unpunished.

All I can say to Tiriac is: fly, you fool!

buzz
05-11-2012, 09:30 AM
Fun thread!

Chuck Norris doesn't bother to string his rackets, he just uses his frame to hit winners, strings would break anyway.

Chuck Norris never had to use his second serve.

Chuck Norris has only one winning streak, its still counting.

BroTree123
05-11-2012, 09:31 AM
Chuck Norris has a great third serve percentage.

Houstonko
05-11-2012, 09:40 AM
Every chuck norris shot is on the line!

Johnbert
05-11-2012, 09:47 AM
chuck norris still wins if simon reed predict a win for him

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 09:56 AM
chuck norris still wins if simon reed predict a win for him

Check post #50 :).

heya
05-11-2012, 10:04 AM
chuck norris is roddick's psychiatrist and beat federer 23 times in 2 years, faster than djoker.

mystic ice cube
05-11-2012, 10:46 AM
Chuck Norris turned pro 1940 - the year he was born.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 10:50 AM
lol, hilarious thread. I don't know how Nole came up with Chuck Norris. too funny.
some gems in here.
lol, one of the best threads ever on MTF. there are guys here who have an amazing sense of humor. I, usually criticize (some posters) here for their stupidity, but this is awesome :lol::lol::lol::clap2:
Lmao some of the instant classics here.
This thread :worship:
We should make a summary
:worship:

I should have known there would be a thread like this after reading about Djokovic's comments. :lol:
this has to be the thread of the year!
Some really good ones here.
Fun thread!

Thanks everyone for your support.

Also thanks for those who liked my posts. :)
-------

I personally liked many posts even if I didn't reply to them. Keep up the good work. :D

Kat_YYZ
05-11-2012, 10:51 AM
Chuck Norris understands heya's posts :speakles:

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 10:56 AM
Chuck Norris can win a calendar day grand slam.

ossie
05-11-2012, 11:25 AM
chuck norris almost beat delpo once.

Johnny Groove
05-11-2012, 11:51 AM
Rod Laver wishes he was Chuck Norris.

Johnny Groove
05-11-2012, 11:53 AM
Chuck Norris takes less than 10 seconds between points.

Johnbert
05-11-2012, 12:16 PM
chuck norris won the golden slam in a non-olympic-year

Slice Winner
05-11-2012, 12:30 PM
Chuck Norris has to change racquets after every shot, since the strings break immediately.

sfar
05-11-2012, 12:37 PM
Fun thread!
Chuck Norris never had to use his second serve.

Chuck Norris has only one winning streak, its still counting.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 01:07 PM
chuck norris won the golden slam in a non-olympic-year

I do appreciate your posts, but you really need to check before posting. (Post #93 :)).

70-68
05-11-2012, 01:08 PM
Chuck Norris defeats EVERY player in the draw when he wins a tournament.

tennisphilia
05-11-2012, 01:18 PM
Am actually surprised Djokovic knows Chuck Norris. How about Bruce Lee?

sfar
05-11-2012, 01:24 PM
I do appreciate your posts, but you really need to check before posting. (Post #93 :)).

You could list a summary in the 1st post. If you don't, don't pretend that someone that reads the thread for the first time checks all pages before thinking of a Chuck Norris fact...

We all know Chuck Norris doesn't need summaries, but we mortals do. ;)

70-68
05-11-2012, 01:26 PM
Chusck Norris wears colored outfits in Wimbledon.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 01:38 PM
Chuck Norris defeats EVERY player in the draw when he wins a tournament.

Chusck Norris wears colored outfits in Wimbledon.

:yeah:

v-money
05-11-2012, 01:44 PM
Chuck Norris understands heya's posts :speakles:

:worship:

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 01:47 PM
You could list a summary in the 1st post. If you don't, don't pretend that someone that reads the thread for the first time checks all pages before thinking of a Chuck Norris fact...

We all know Chuck Norris doesn't need summaries, but we mortals do. ;)

You are talking about 12 pages! How long will it take to skim through them only once before posting? :confused:

But the summary is a good idea, and it has been suggested before. Do you people think I should make a summary for ALL the facts or make some kind of a poll (also suggestions are welcome about how to)?

n8
05-11-2012, 01:53 PM
You are talking about 12 pages! How long will it take to skim through them only once before posting? :confused:

But the summary is a good idea, and it has been suggested before. Do you people think I should make a summary for ALL the facts or make some kind of a poll (also suggestions are welcome about how to)?

Not that long, but to do that for every thread is tiresome and boring.

Time Violation
05-11-2012, 02:02 PM
Chuck Norris understands heya's posts :speakles:

Chuck Norris has met Raferminator :p

Orka_n
05-11-2012, 02:04 PM
You are talking about 12 pages! How long will it take to skim through them only once before posting? :confused:

But the summary is a good idea, and it has been suggested before. Do you people think I should make a summary for ALL the facts or make some kind of a poll (also suggestions are welcome about how to)?You cannot expect people to read through the entire thread.

Skip the poll, but you could add a list of already posted facts in the first post of the thread.

Example:
Chuck Norris does not need a doubles partner, he is so fast people actually see two of him.

Chuck Norris literally chokes his opponents.

BroTree123
05-11-2012, 02:06 PM
Chuck Norris has a triple handed backhand.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 04:53 PM
What do you think of the list?

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 04:54 PM
Chuck Norris overrules all the line calls.

Orka_n
05-11-2012, 05:00 PM
What do you think of the list?Excellent work.

sicko
05-11-2012, 05:02 PM
Chuck Norris can win tournaments that take place in the same week.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 05:13 PM
Chuck Norris plays a third week in slams.

TigerTim
05-11-2012, 05:21 PM
Chuck Norris's racket doesn't have strings

sicko
05-11-2012, 05:29 PM
Chuck Norris can pick his butt, smell the finger and still look good.

Chuck Norris never ever in his life stood on a tennis court line.

Chuck Norris uses trigonometric formulas to arrange his bottles, and does so between every point.

When Chuck Norris sprints from the net to his side of the court, he does it faster than Usain Bolt.

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 05:41 PM
Chuck Norris is so good that his opponents have the lines extended to the doubles court on their side and still lose.

sicko
05-11-2012, 06:02 PM
When Chuck Norris approaches the net, it actually moves away in order to avoid a penalty for touching Chuck Norris.

JediFed
05-11-2012, 06:06 PM
The Open Era began when Chuck Norris was born.

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 06:07 PM
When the match ends, the umpire gets down from his seat and goes to Chuck Norris to shake his hand.

asmazif
05-11-2012, 06:32 PM
love that you actually put what I said in :lol:

v-money
05-11-2012, 06:35 PM
Chuck Norris alone puts tennis in a strong era.

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 06:37 PM
Chuck Norris beat Ivo KArlovic's record for the fastest serve with an underarm serve.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 06:47 PM
love that you actually put what I said in :lol:

Would you like me to remove it? :cool:

STUHL
05-11-2012, 06:59 PM
Chuck Norris can win a match only hitting aces, even on return!

sicko
05-11-2012, 07:45 PM
Chuck Norris never lost the coin toss.

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 07:46 PM
Chuck Norris carries bagels and breadsticks in his bag to hand out to his opponents when the score is a bagel/breadstick.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 07:48 PM
Chuck Norris never lost the coin toss.

:)

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 07:51 PM
Chuck Norris's opponents don't have return stats; they have self-protection stats.

greenberetta
05-11-2012, 08:26 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a dropshot with 160km/h.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 08:28 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a dropshot with 160km/h.

:D

Second post inspired by Federer's match.

comesbackatlast
05-11-2012, 11:24 PM
Chuck Norris can serve a tweener.

Slice Winner
05-11-2012, 11:29 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't slip on blue clay.

GOAT = Fed
05-11-2012, 11:31 PM
Chuck Norris passes all drugs test despite taking steroids.

JurajCrane
05-11-2012, 11:52 PM
Chuck Norris is winning US Open in Paris every year.

BYE was invented to protect some players lifes from Chuck Norris matchup.

romismak
05-11-2012, 11:56 PM
Chuck never made doublefault, because he is allowed to serve until he serve the ball into service box

romismak
05-11-2012, 11:59 PM
Chuck once had 100% points won on Ivo´s 1st serve in 5setter.

Moder
05-11-2012, 11:59 PM
"Iron Mike Russell" meet Chuck Norris

heya
05-12-2012, 12:26 AM
Chuck Norris has smart fans. he can stop crying after slam matches. he beat rafa at the french open, and he hates tiger woods.

Seingeist
05-12-2012, 12:33 AM
This thread is one of the few genuinely good things to come out of MTF. :yeah:

Umpires have never made a ruling on any of Chuck Norris's strokes; the human eye cannot track motion at the speed of light.

Gagsquet
05-12-2012, 01:01 AM
When Chuck Norris throws balls in the public after his countless wins, he actually kills between three and six people in average.

Mjau!
05-12-2012, 01:19 AM
Chuck Norris can get a point deduction for chronic time wasting.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 07:49 AM
Chuck Norris's net points don't pass above the net, but through it.

BroTree123
05-12-2012, 08:35 AM
When Chuck Norris breaks a racquet, it turns into ash.

Chase Visa
05-12-2012, 08:41 AM
Chuck Norris plays barefoot and still doesn't get blisters.

Roamed
05-12-2012, 09:09 AM
Chuck Norris reached 24 consecutive Grand Slam semi-finals.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 09:18 AM
When Chuck Norris breaks a racquet, it turns into ash.

:)

AlterBridge
05-12-2012, 09:21 AM
After CN practice people have to paint new lines on court.
Every CN match costs about 50 linesjudges and 40 ballboys lives...
Once CN sticked pen into tv camera while trying to put signature on it.
CN takes MTO pretty often... For his opponets.
CN hits dropshots faster than 200 km/h.
When clay is too slippery, CN just pull outs and wets whole the court with his piss.
When its too hot, CN plays with umbrella in one hand...
CN can overrule Hawk eye...
During mto CN gets massages with happy ending...

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 09:27 AM
Every CN match costs about 50 linesjudges and 40 ballboys lives...


:lol:

70-68
05-12-2012, 10:59 AM
Chuck Norris' dropshots don't bounce up at all. The ball lands, and just stays there.

BroTree123
05-12-2012, 11:18 AM
Chuck Norris' dropshots don't bounce up at all. The ball lands, and just stays there.

That's a good one :lol:

SelvenluvJo
05-12-2012, 11:20 AM
Chuck Norris uses 2-handed forehand and 1-handed backhand.

Slice Winner
05-12-2012, 12:00 PM
Chuck Norris hits a two-handed serve.

Chase Visa
05-12-2012, 12:06 PM
Chuck Norris matches don't even need umpires, as his vision can spot any mistake.

BroTree123
05-12-2012, 12:34 PM
Chuck Norris can run even faster with a twisted ankle.

loopback
05-12-2012, 12:48 PM
Chuck Norris did 'The Worm' after victory at Roland Garros, a moment later he ended up in New Zealand.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 02:38 PM
Chuck Norris's kick serve is a real kick serve.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 04:43 PM
Chuck Norris can serve from the locker room.

Gagsquet
05-12-2012, 04:49 PM
I'm pretty sure X and Groove would have a chance to beat Gulbis or Dimitrov with a Chuck Norris mask.

BroTree123
05-12-2012, 04:50 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a passing shot from outside the universe.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 06:48 PM
Chuck Norris can hit a passing shot from outside the universe.

Nothing passes through the Door of Night.

Coolio_Jack
05-12-2012, 07:41 PM
Chuck Norris can serve a drop shot winner.

comesbackatlast
05-12-2012, 11:07 PM
Chuck Norris can play a non-handed forehand.

Orka_n
05-12-2012, 11:17 PM
Chuck Norris' body serve has a fatality rate of 100%.

tektonac
05-13-2012, 12:35 AM
Chuck Norris can challenge a point from a previous set.