Can Men and Women be (only) friends? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Can Men and Women be (only) friends?

Sauletekis
01-22-2012, 01:45 AM
This is an interesting video about a very old question. If you watched the video you will tend to think that it's very hard for woman and man can be very close friends and nothing more than that.

For me actually it's a very hard question. I mean most of my friends are actually girls, so my obvious question would be yes, but the fact is that all of my closest friends, I, in some period of our friendship, look at her and imagine my relationship with them being more than just friends. I always think: "How it would be if we were a couple? Maybe I wouldn't mind. Does she thinks of this?"


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So what do you think? Discuss!

Getta
01-22-2012, 03:11 AM
you're in genuine need of erudite analysis but not too long ago, an identical thread to yours was started by someone else.

www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?t=129465

Corey Feldman
01-22-2012, 03:18 AM
Men can, women cant... they always want sex

Sauletekis
01-22-2012, 03:29 AM
you're in genuine need of erudite analysis but not too long ago, an identical thread to yours was started by someone else.

www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?t=129465

False, false and false.

1-I'm not in need of nothing.

2- Almost 4 years ago, I would say it's too long.

3- The thread issue it's not even close.

Kat_YYZ
01-22-2012, 03:31 AM
you're in genuine need of erudite analysis but not too long ago, an identical thread to yours was started by someone else.

www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?t=129465
that thread is from 2008 but there was an identical one very, very recently, with the identical stupid video

in answer to your question:
1. Yes, of course they can. One of my best friends is male, from high school, friends for over 15 years. he's happily married.
2. the video is :bs:

Sauletekis
01-22-2012, 03:39 AM
that thread is from 2008 but there was an identical one very, very recently, with the identical stupid video

in answer to your question:
1. Yes, of course they can. One of my best friends is male, from high school, friends for over 15 years. he's happily married.
2. the video is :bs:


Sorry, didn't knew about this.

About the BS part, yes I think the same, but actually I think it's not far from reality. The problem is that this video stereotype too much this problem. I'm not saying it's impossible, FAR FROM THAT. My best friends are girls. Now I only see them as friends, but there was always one moment when I think of something else. Of course I didn't even tried something, but it's just thoughts that comes into my mind.

It's like it's impossible that during an entire friedly relationship, only to have friendly feelings. For me, as a guy, even if it's for one single day, I always have some other feelings, even if they are only sexual.

leng jai
01-22-2012, 03:41 AM
Men can, women cant... they always want sex

You think are you Bilbo or something mate?

Corey Feldman
01-22-2012, 03:46 AM
I just quoted it from his book Leng

Sunset of Age
01-22-2012, 03:51 AM
Well funny once again. 89% of my friends are men.
Guess I am the alien here.

emotion
01-22-2012, 03:55 AM
My best friend is a girl, and our relationship was platonic for 5 years (though 5 yrs ago, i was 12, so maybe that played a part for a couple years)...granted, there was a period it was not after that, and I'm not too certain it's over, but even though it seems to be atm, we're very close and can talk for hours

Kat_YYZ
01-22-2012, 04:25 AM
Sorry, didn't knew about this.

About the BS part, yes I think the same, but actually I think it's not far from reality. The problem is that this video stereotype too much this problem. I'm not saying it's impossible, FAR FROM THAT. My best friends are girls. Now I only see them as friends, but there was always one moment when I think of something else. Of course I didn't even tried something, but it's just thoughts that comes into my mind.

It's like it's impossible that during an entire friedly relationship, only to have friendly feelings. For me, as a guy, even if it's for one single day, I always have some other feelings, even if they are only sexual.

well, sure, we are allowed to have 'thoughts' and such... we are humans, not saints or robots. The thought comes in your head... and then you go on with your life. Not every thought has to be acted on.

Also, let's say you have a friend (same-sex friend, in this example) who is annoying you with something they are doing. For one single day (as you said) maybe you're thinking "F*ck just go away. I'll be glad if I never hear from you again." But of course you're not really going to dump your friend; you're just a bit annoyed. The bigger part of your feelings is that they are your friend and you will stick by them.

MTwEeZi
01-22-2012, 05:24 AM
you're in genuine need of erudite analysis but not too long ago, an identical thread to yours was started by someone else.

www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?t=129465

Interestingly enough he was also a supporter of Gil. Perhaps Gil fans are misunderstood in the love department :confused:

Sunset of Age
01-22-2012, 06:06 AM
Interestingly enough he was also a supporter of Gil. Perhaps Gil fans are misunderstood in the love department :confused:

Perhaps YOU are more mistaken than anyone else commenting over here. :wavey:

dinkulpus
01-22-2012, 07:53 AM
Of course they can be, my best friend is a girl for 7 years, I feel her like my sister :p

Deathless Mortal
01-22-2012, 10:44 AM
Of course yes.

Nirjhor
01-22-2012, 11:52 AM
Only friend? Then, yes. Closest friend? Then, no. There are something which men can't share with women. As far as I know, one of the most important term of being friends is sharing. When a man wants to share something with a woman, he needs to think the outcome before sharing the things with her. He needs to think if she misunderstands him after sharing that matter. And if one can't share something sensitive with another then they can't be the closest friends. Generally they can become friends. But I have a little different opinion about their being closest friends. :)

But sometimes something different happens, too. So this is not the only and the final thing. This is all about how one thinks and what one thinks. That's all. :)

Kiedis
01-22-2012, 06:45 PM
I say no during puberty period. At least for the mayority of men. We are permanently in heat like horny baboons at this time in ours lives.

Chris Kuerten
01-22-2012, 07:19 PM
It's possible if the girl is hideous.

betowiec
01-22-2012, 07:27 PM
those who say yes, they are lying about it

Commander Data
01-22-2012, 07:44 PM
I can't

EddceLLent
01-22-2012, 08:17 PM
If it's a woman i'm not attracted to then for sure I can be just friends with her. If it's a woman I find attractive then potentially it's different. Most of us will never be able to cast aside sexual desire and so if you're close to someone you find attractive then there's always going to be that conundrum about whether you want more than just friendship.

I'm friends with one of my ex girlfriends now and that works perfectly. We're both seeing other people and talking to her now reminds me how lucky I am to not have an obligation to listen to her talking shit all the time. That's maybe a bit harsh - her talking shit can be quaint, but I can be damn sure that it would annoy me if she were my girlfriend.

Goldenoldie
01-22-2012, 08:34 PM
My best friend is female and we share the same passion for table tennis and scrabble.

Her husband is a great guy, 6 foot 6 ins, and 220 lbs, so I prefer to stay alive and remain only friends!

leng jai
01-22-2012, 08:46 PM
Gender becomes less relevant with imaginary friends.

Deathless Mortal
01-22-2012, 08:49 PM
those who say yes, they are lying about it

Wrong, guess again.

Shinoj
01-23-2012, 04:26 PM
They cant but at least Men are honest about it.

angela
01-23-2012, 08:15 PM
I think NOOOOOO.

Harmless
01-23-2012, 08:31 PM
Of course. My best friend is a guy, and we've been friends for almost 10 years now.

I think maybe a part of it is in how accepting you are of your own opposite side. Ie, how much a girl accepts her own maculine side, and how much a guy accepts his own feminine side. When two people are honest enough with themselves, you can meet in the middle and things aren't a problem. :shrug:

Vilnietė
01-23-2012, 09:03 PM
Can men and woman be friends without having any ideas about closer relationship at any moment?
No.

But since I have a different understanding of "only friendship" and I have a friend who is like a brother for me (he is acctually very similar to my real brother, just 6 years older) I would say Yes. And I can't argue that both of us had some "ideas" in the past but it was long time ago and nolonger an issue...

I have another male friend who likes saying that men and woman can be "still friends" or "already friends" :lol:

Nathaliia
01-23-2012, 09:16 PM
even a good random sex (after alcohol for example) between friends can't spoil a beautiful friendship if people really have a good connection yet don't imagine to be in a relationship together :D

erickmartins
01-23-2012, 09:40 PM
Summarizing my opinion, yes. Even if there is sexual attraction, if there is some kind of tacit agreement that a friendship works but a relationship wouldn't, everything's alright. Two of my best friends are women. The good thing is they always have friends to introduce to me. :)

Taz Warrior
01-24-2012, 11:14 AM
Yes of course they can. Not everything in this life is about sex.

Ibracadabra
01-24-2012, 05:23 PM
No i don't believe so and my thinking on the subject is supported by the vast majority.

Sauletekis
01-24-2012, 07:33 PM
Can men and woman be friends without having any ideas about closer relationship at any moment?
No.

But since I have a different understanding of "only friendship" and I have a friend who is like a brother for me (he is acctually very similar to my real brother, just 6 years older) I would say Yes. And I can't argue that both of us had some "ideas" in the past but it was long time ago and nolonger an issue...

I have another male friend who likes saying that men and woman can be "still friends" or "already friends" :lol:

Thanks, that what i was trying to say at the first time. Completely agreed.

even a good random sex (after alcohol for example) between friends can't spoil a beautiful friendship if people really have a good connection yet don't imagine to be in a relationship together :D

It depends on the personality of the person.

I have girl friends that I consider them as sisters, but I think if I had sex with them, our relationship would never be the same. But like I said, it depends on the person. I am like this, but you are different. It's not an absolute straight true.

leng jai
01-24-2012, 07:34 PM
No girl want to have sex with me ever so I am lucky to not have this problem in my life. I feel so blessed.

Certinfy
01-24-2012, 10:01 PM
I say yes. I mean with most female friends the friendship has felt awkward at one time or another, especially when you start getting really close as friends. But then I do know a few females in which we are very close yet have no real sexual feelings for each other so it's not like we can be anything else than good friends. :shrug:

emotion
02-05-2012, 09:23 PM
My best friend is a girl, and our relationship was platonic for 5 years (though 5 yrs ago, i was 12, so maybe that played a part for a couple years)...granted, there was a period it was not after that, and I'm not too certain it's over, but even though it seems to be atm, we're very close and can talk for hours

okay, yeah, never mind

_maxi
02-06-2012, 01:10 AM
I have some girl friends that I would not have sex with. No damn way. I don't look at them sexually. I've had some that I would have f*cked some years ago.

adal
02-07-2012, 01:26 PM
Only if the guy is gay.