Workplace Romance? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Workplace Romance?

Johnny Groove
01-06-2012, 05:27 PM
Classic wisdom says not to dip one's pen in company ink, not to fuck where you eat, and so on.

I think that it can cause issues, especially when people date and then break up and then have to go back to work again, but is that any worse than a mountain of sexual tension in the air every time I go to work? I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

What are your thoughts?

abraxas21
01-06-2012, 05:30 PM
do you have a job, john?

Gagsquet
01-06-2012, 05:39 PM
:lol:

Johnny Groove
01-06-2012, 05:54 PM
2, actually.

abraxas21
01-06-2012, 06:01 PM
future top 100 professional tennis player and womanizer with 2 jobs

must be hard to do all that much and still find the time to post on MTF 24/7

Johnny Groove
01-06-2012, 06:04 PM
It ain't easy, mate.

But back on topic, any girls you fancy at your workplace, abraxas?

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 06:25 PM
I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

This is how most couples get together at workplaces or at uni, spending a lot of time with each other. It is because trust gets built, which is the base for any relationship. But don't forget that these relationships usually are not the most healthy ones because for most people it is the only way to get into a relationship, and thus they take what they can. Picking up girls on the street gets you less trouble and makes much more fun.

Sauletekis
01-06-2012, 06:31 PM
Have to agree with all you said, Bilbo.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 06:40 PM
For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

(Bilbo's theory)

HKz
01-06-2012, 07:18 PM
Yes I think it is inevitable for the most part. You are with these people the majority of the week, it is only natural that one starts to know others better, and soon afterwards they start getting to know each other more personally and it goes on from there. At the same time, it certainly doesn't help that people try to make such a connection with two employees when they feel employee x is giving employee y more than normal for perhaps what they is some "favor."

Obviously either way, a relationship or not can cause tension and it can be very awkward for those who end a relationship, which is why many companies require notification so that the two can be placed in separate departments. However, I think companies should be less naive about this, as it happens all the time even with people who are married, and put policies in place that would make it easier to allow relationships while not interfering with work rather than trying so hard to prevent and discourage. At my previous job as a Windows Server Admin at Motorola, the organization I worked for actually tries to hire couples to work for them, especially if they are married. That way I guess the two will be satisfied emotionally since they always get to see each other for lunch and whatever. I remember a husband and wife that actually worked in the same department for like 20 years and I guess it worked out for them very well and they were both considered great employees of the company.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 07:31 PM
What HKz says.

A workplace romance is a very common thing (actually, in my country it's the #1 place where couples meet each other! :D), and it can work out very well indeed. You already have quite something in common which is very important in one's life (if it's a serious job I mean), you work together, you go to the same social meetings, etc. From my time working as a PhD student in a university lab, I remember AT LEAST two couples 'meeting' one another while staring down at their respective test tubes, agar plates, & DNA blots - both of them couples now married-with-children for over 20 years. :D

Perhaps it makes a difference if you're just out for the 'pussy hunt' in stead of looking for a steady relationship, I dunno.
But these folks didn't know it was as serious as it would turn out to be either, when they first became drunk together at a promotion party... ;)

arm
01-06-2012, 07:43 PM
For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

(Bilbo's theory)

The couple gets sick of each other. That should be the main reason. You see a person 24/7. :bolt: It's only normal that the relationship starts degrading.

safin-rules-no.1
01-06-2012, 08:01 PM
Classic wisdom says not to dip one's pen in company ink, not to fuck where you eat, and so on.

I think that it can cause issues, especially when people date and then break up and then have to go back to work again, but is that any worse than a mountain of sexual tension in the air every time I go to work? I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

What are your thoughts?

I screwed the Managing Director at my previous job. It actually got really awkward after the third time.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 08:05 PM
The couple gets sick of each other. That should be the main reason. You see a person 24/7. :bolt: It's only normal that the relationship starts degrading.

True, but not always you see each other so often even when you work at the same place. How Sunset of Age described it can also work, but it's the worst case solution imo. However, I still believe it is just the extension of something bigger what I explained before.

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 08:08 PM
By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed? ;)

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

arm
01-06-2012, 08:19 PM
True, but not always you see each other so often even when you work at the same place. How Sunset of Age described it can also work, but it's the worst case solution imo. However, I still believe it is just the extension of something bigger what I explained before.

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

It's also a very common phenomenon here in Portugal. And in most cases it lasts. I don't have a good example at home, though. :(

People should just go with the flow. It's not like you can pick whom you fall in love with, or avoid doing so because it's your co-worker. I believe it's healthier when couple don't work together, but that doesn't mean it can't work or you should run away from it.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 08:37 PM
That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed? ;)

I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.


I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.

True, it is because most guys are not aware of their emotional needs. See nice guy discussion.


BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

True, and the numbers have increased dramatically in the last 40 years. See nice guy syndrome.

Pirata.
01-06-2012, 08:55 PM
I am in university for education and from what I know, workplace relationships between teachers are generally frowned upon. My French teacher and my algebra teacher had a secret romance for about a year and a half before they got married because dating your co-worker was a big no-no in our school district.

Gagsquet
01-06-2012, 09:02 PM
I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.


If I sum up:
School and work are a bad place for serious relationships.
Pub and parties are a bad place for serious relationships.

That's definitely a bilbo's theory ;) (nonsensical)

EddceLLent
01-06-2012, 09:03 PM
This is how most couples get together at workplaces or at uni, spending a lot of time with each other. It is because trust gets built, which is the base for any relationship. But don't forget that these relationships usually are not the most healthy ones because for most people it is the only way to get into a relationship, and thus they take what they can. Picking up girls on the street gets you less trouble and makes much more fun.

Surely "picking girls up on the street" doesn't constitute a relationship at all, or at least it's just a casual one. Maybe that's what some people want but I certainly wouldn't say that relationships founded on trust aren't as "healthy" as casual relationships. Everyone is different - but there's no need to pretend that any group is better than another.

For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

How else could men meet women that you think would be better? For someone my age (25) it doesn't really seem like there's that many different ways of meeting women - at work, through friends or whilst out drunk. That's how most people I know met their partners.

That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed? ;)

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

You said it...


...and my story...

I've been seeing my girlfriend for 8 months, she used to be my boss at my old job. I guess it's not technically a workplace romance because we started seeing each other after i'd left but yeah, I think knowing her as I did at work definitely gave me a good idea of what she was like.

I used to feign incompetence so I could have an excuse to go and talk to her, it was fun and at the same time it was pretty harmless - it didn't majorly affect my work and it kept her in good spirits when she was feeling stressed :).

I can't really speak about working with your partner (which, if I had to guess, I would say could be pretty awkward - because every couple needs plenty of time apart), but i'd definitely say that work was a great place for me to get to know my girlfriend before I started going out with her. A lot of women have a sort of tendency to see men trying to talk to them as predatory, so I think work is a good place to meet women in that maybe they don't put up barriers like they might do if you just met them socially or something - they can get to know you without automatically thinking "he just wants me for the poon". Idk though, can't say all women are the same like that.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 09:29 PM
Surely "picking girls up on the street" doesn't constitute a relationship at all, or at least it's just a casual one. Maybe that's what some people want but I certainly wouldn't say that relationships founded on trust aren't as "healthy" as casual relationships. Everyone is different - but there's no need to pretend that any group is better than another.

How else could men meet women that you think would be better? For someone my age (25) it doesn't really seem like there's that many different ways of meeting women - at work, through friends or whilst out drunk. That's how most people I know met their partners.

That's what society tells you is the "right" way to meet women.

Let me think of some places to meet women. It all starts when I leave the door. Streets, super markets, coffee shops, libraries, shopping malls, airports, trains, busses, parks, etc. Sounds good to me.

EddceLLent
01-06-2012, 09:34 PM
That's what society tells you is the "right" way to meet women.

Let me think of some places to meet women. It all starts when I leave the door. Streets, super markets, coffee shops, libraries, shopping malls, airports, trains, busses, parks, etc. Sounds good to me.

How many of those places have you actually met women? I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations, and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 09:41 PM
How many of those places have you actually met women?

In all of them.

I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations,

True.

and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.

Not true. True for clubs with all these drunken guys.

Har-Tru
01-06-2012, 09:45 PM
How many of those places have you actually met women? I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations, and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.

You are right of course.

That being said, I guess if you are persistent enough, you're bound to find a girl who's not freaked out by your randomly chatting her up at the supermarket queue and will actually be glad if you take her to bed.

I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 09:50 PM
That being said, I guess if you are persistent enough, you're bound to find a girl who's not freaked out by your randomly chatting her up at the supermarket queue and will actually be glad if you take her to bed.

It's true. Most reactions you will receive are positive.

In Spain it is more commen than in Germany, so you should be more used to it.


I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.

I've seen this work too. The more you try, the higher the chance to achieve your goal. Being persistent is important.

Har-Tru
01-06-2012, 10:16 PM
It's true. Most reactions you will receive are positive.

In Spain it is more commen than in Germany, so you should be more used to it.

Where do I live again?

It's not common in Spain at all.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 10:23 PM
I'm enjoying this thread! :D

I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.

:haha: - I'll never understand how guys get away with that sort of behaviour. So ultimately classless, and sorry to say so, but I do not understand women who fall for it at all, either. :o

There was one notorious guy who used to do that kind of sh*t at our bridge club all the time. One day he was so terribly drunk that he even tried out hitting on me (while the guy was actually in a relationship! :o).
I just - slowly - emptied my glass of prosecco all over his head, and it was over. I got some very nice reactions to that from all other ladies he'd had been trying to pawn all night there. :p

leng jai
01-06-2012, 10:28 PM
How about MTF romance?

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 10:31 PM
:haha: - I'll never understand how guys get away with that sort of behaviour. So ultimately classless, and sorry to say so, but I do not understand women who fall for it at all, either. :o

I've expained it in another post. Only needy girls will fall for it but you will always find some in any club.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 10:32 PM
I've expained it in another post. Only needy girls will fall for it but you will always find some in any club.

True. And then it's back full-circle: it will perhaps work when one's in need for a hit-and-run, but for a true romantic relationship? I doubt it. ;)

Pirata.
01-06-2012, 10:34 PM
How about MTF romance?

Acceptable as long as you have representative(s) from MTF at the wedding.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 10:36 PM
There was one notorious guy who used to do that kind of sh*t at our bridge club all the time. One day he was so terribly drunk that he even tried out hitting on me (while the guy was actually in a relationship! :o).
I just - slowly - emptied my glass of prosecco all over his head, and it was over. I got some very nice reactions to that from all other ladies he'd had been trying to pawn all night there. :p

If he would be honest in a charismatic way and not drunk, he would get tons of positive reactions.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 10:39 PM
True. And then it's back full-circle: it will perhaps work when one's in need for a hit-and-run, but for a true romantic relationship? I doubt it. ;)

No, that's why I said parties are no good for it. Good for one-night-stands though. My last posts have not been about relationships anymore.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 10:39 PM
If he would be honest in a charismatic way and not drunk, he would get tons of positive reactions.

The guy was/is a notorious 'player'... and somehow thought the 'macho game' would continue working for him. He did somehow manage to score a wife eventually. He's got two kids now. :D

tennisfan856
01-06-2012, 10:42 PM
I couldn't imagine getting in a relationship with one of the people at work. But, their interests don't even come close to mine so I don't have any sparks to create. Maybe if I worked for USTA or Blizzard it would be a different story.

Bilbo
01-06-2012, 10:45 PM
The guy was/is a notorious 'player'... and somehow thought the 'macho game' would continue working for him. He did somehow manage to score a wife eventually. He's got two kids now. :D

He was searching for new adventures. He's probably tired of his wife. Drinking that much also shows that he was hiding some weaknesses.

Sunset of Age
01-06-2012, 10:52 PM
He was searching for new adventures. He's probably tired of his wife. Drinking that much also shows that he was hiding some weaknesses.

Nah, it was his 'regular show' for over 20 years. :p
His lady wife (still going strong btw! :worship:) was/is what you may call 'some kind-a-woman' as well, never blinked an eye about his escapades, always let him back in. Perhaps the fact of HER being the one who brought in the daily cash was/is a major factor there too. I've often asked myself why she didn't kick his butt, but I guess it was 'true love' indeed! :hearts: :cool:

I can well see the two of them grow old together, and isn't that very nice indeed? :D

tommyg6
01-07-2012, 04:49 AM
i plan on asking out this co-worker, well, i don't work there anymore but i will ask her out. she has a bf but f*** it.

EddceLLent
01-07-2012, 01:57 PM
In all of them.

Lol! You must be like the blueprint for eugenics :)

The more you try, the higher the chance to achieve your goal. Being persistent is important.

Now it just sounds like you're talking about trying to snare women for brief sexual encounters. I don't think being persistent is particularly important if you're looking for someone to be in a long term relationship with.

Johnny Groove
01-07-2012, 01:59 PM
How about MTF romance?

Fully encouraged :yeah:

i plan on asking out this co-worker, well, i don't work there anymore but i will ask her out. she has a bf but f*** it.

No fear, mate :hatoff:

Li Ching Yuen
01-07-2012, 02:22 PM
Did I just read "pussy hunt" in this thread? hahahaha

Bilbo
01-07-2012, 02:42 PM
Now it just sounds like you're talking about trying to snare women for brief sexual encounters. I don't think being persistent is particularly important if you're looking for someone to be in a long term relationship with.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2073948/He-tries-hardest-does-girl-Persistence-skin-secret-success-women.html

Saberq
01-07-2012, 02:52 PM
Take it where you can get it ....

safin-rules-no.1
01-08-2012, 04:06 PM
How about MTF romance?

Lots of sluts on here, doubt romance would blossom. You could give sweetcleo a try though.

Nev
01-08-2012, 04:56 PM
I think that it can cause issues, especially when people date and then break up and then have to go back to work again, but is that any worse than a mountain of sexual tension in the air every time I go to work?

What are your thoughts?It is better, except you're trying to do your boss's wife.

Nikki♥
01-10-2012, 11:22 AM
How about MTF romance?

Just imagine the MTF couple has kids and when the kids are old enough, they will be posting here too. :hearts: That's oh so romantic.

tripwires
01-10-2012, 02:02 PM
Lots of sluts on here, doubt romance would blossom. You could give sweetcleo a try though.

I will bitchslap whoever tries to steal my leng jai.