Has social media/texting negatively affected people's social skills in person? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Has social media/texting negatively affected people's social skills in person?

EddceLLent
11-20-2011, 01:19 AM
I wonder about this sometimes:

Nowadays, particularly with younger people, it's much easier to text someone/facebook them than it is to call them or see them in person. Do you think that having a higher proportion of contact via these channels is likely to have a negative effect on people's ability to communicate in person?

Luinir
11-20-2011, 01:28 AM
Yes.

Sham Kay
11-20-2011, 01:35 AM
"Oh hey! Haven't talked to you in years!"

"Yeah! We have so much to catch up on!"

"So, what you been up t- *BEEP BEEP*

*Fiddle fiddle fiddle*

Sunset of Age
11-20-2011, 01:38 AM
Absolutely.
As much as I fully embrace the fantastic possibilities of the Internet in general, I quite often shudder when seeing all those folks around about everywhere virtually glued to their mobile phones - to the point where they'd probably rather walk under a bus than take their eyes off of their phone's display. :o

Naudio Spanlatine
11-20-2011, 01:40 AM
yes, its sad really, like for example your bf/gf breaks up with you over the phone and after that they either blame themselves or jus commit suicide:sad: :tears:

Sham Kay
11-20-2011, 01:54 AM
I've actually commented on this alot, generally falling on deaf ears. It's practically impossible to hold a 5 minute conversation in person without being interrupted with some text/call etc. If not, you're talking, turn away for a couple seconds, begin to say something else and oh look at that, they have their face stuck to their blackberry checking their bleedin' facebook status. I usually give up at that point..

So yeah, with people taking pretty much every social media tool in priority over people they're directly talking to, talking in person has gone well downhill. Soon it'll be considered uncool.. we might as well just evolve out of talking.

I'll stick with my old flip phone till I'm forced to descend to the darkness.

Luinir
11-20-2011, 02:21 AM
yes, its sad really, like for example your bf/gf breaks up with you over the phone and after that they either blame themselves or jus commit suicide:sad: :tears:

I wouldn't break up with you ever (aside from breaking with up over the phone) if you would be my GF.

fast_clay
11-20-2011, 02:44 AM
i was texting away when i needed to take a dump once and just fully unloaded in my pants... stank up the joint... nothing else really matters when you text...

Action Jackson
11-20-2011, 02:49 AM
Very much so.

Topspindoctor
11-20-2011, 02:50 AM
No. I hate people.

krystlel
11-20-2011, 02:54 AM
No, most of the time when I'm texting, it is to ask to meet up with people in person. So it leads to talking in person.

As for people using their mobile phones while talking to other people, that is a separate issue. I don't text or check my phone while people are talking to me. There are of course plenty of other times you can do that.

Naudio Spanlatine
11-20-2011, 02:55 AM
I wouldn't break up with you ever (aside from breaking with up over the phone) if you would be my GF.

:hug: :smooch:

Naudio Spanlatine
11-20-2011, 02:56 AM
actually i rather text my friends than talk to them on the phone, but ill rather call and talk if its an emergency

Gagsquet
11-20-2011, 09:58 AM
Bullshit.

Certinfy
11-20-2011, 11:14 AM
Definitely.

Time Violation
11-20-2011, 12:23 PM
No. I hate people.

:worship:

tennizen
11-20-2011, 01:07 PM
I don't think people had any social skills in person to begin with.

Vida
11-20-2011, 01:13 PM
def no. what you would've had to elaborate for days, involving flexing god knows what, you can now convey in three or less words.

Dini
11-20-2011, 01:20 PM
It depends who you're talking to. When I talk to people for extended periods of time I often find we're both meeting up for the very reason that we're sick of the Internet and phone usage and just want to disconnect from that. It's got to the point that because we're so social media dependent these days, when we meet up we want to make sure it's proper interaction, face-to-face and all that.

I don't think people had any social skills in person to begin with.

What are social skills anyway?

I don't think social media/texting has reduced our ability to be social in real life it's just reduced the amount of times we do it. To forget how to hold a conversation irl seems absurd to me.

Johnny Groove
11-20-2011, 01:27 PM
Yes, I believe so.

EddceLLent
11-20-2011, 03:19 PM
What are social skills anyway?

I don't think social media/texting has reduced our ability to be social in real life it's just reduced the amount of times we do it. To forget how to hold a conversation irl seems absurd to me.

But if we're interacting less in person then surely there's a chance we'll be less confident on those occasions?

Filo V.
11-20-2011, 04:01 PM
Actually, studies have been done that categorically prove this to be true. Based on what I've seen hypothesized as a result of over usage of social media, it makes people more lazy and less focused when not using social media, it makes people more disconnected with the real world, it makes people more self-centered, and it makes people less able to handle conversation. Also studies show it results in people having shorter attention spans, more of a need for instant gratification, and every single study has shown that an over usage of websites such as Facebook and twitter leads to much worse grades in school (which leads to ignorance, which obviously is a negative), and it's also a cause for the uprising in bullying incidents in school.

It's not really that it turns people into hermits. What it does is turn people into empty wastes of air, more or less. People who simply don't have anything there to offer, because their lives are inside a computer, I-Pod, etc.

Filo V.
11-20-2011, 04:05 PM
The issue isn't using social media more than it's allowing a computer take over your life and you start replacing your real life with it. A lot of people on this forum do that. Your lives are this forum. When you start getting emotionally attached to an internet forum, you have issues. It makes people less equipped to handle the real world, because you're in you're own self-created box and not really living in reality.

Naudio Spanlatine
11-20-2011, 04:43 PM
Actually, studies have been done that categorically prove this to be true. Based on what I've seen hypothesized as a result of over usage of social media, it makes people more lazy and less focused when not using social media, it makes people more disconnected with the real world, it makes people more self-centered, and it makes people less able to handle conversation. Also studies show it results in people having shorter attention spans, more of a need for instant gratification, and every single study has shown that an over usage of websites such as Facebook and twitter leads to much worse grades in school (which leads to ignorance, which obviously is a negative), and it's also a cause for the uprising in bullying incidents in school.

It's not really that it turns people into hermits. What it does is turn people into empty wastes of air, more or less. People who simply don't have anything there to offer, because their lives are inside a computer, I-Pod, etc.

The issue isn't using social media more than it's allowing a computer take over your life and you start replacing your real life with it. A lot of people on this forum do that. Your lives are this forum. When you start getting emotionally attached to an internet forum, you have issues. It makes people less equipped to handle the real world, because you're in you're own self-created box and not really living in reality.

great post:worship: :yeah:

Dini
11-20-2011, 05:04 PM
But if we're interacting less in person then surely there's a chance we'll be less confident on those occasions?

That's true if we're talking about interacting with people you're about to meet for the first time. I was more referring to already established social circles hence the "it depends".

I'm sure for the younger generation who almost start their life online will find the transition to real life conversations a lot harder than someone who already had the foundation of social skills. Definitely negatively affected in that case.

Roger the Dodger
11-21-2011, 04:13 PM
I'm sure for the younger generation who almost start their life online will find the transition to real life conversations a lot harder than someone who already had the foundation of social skills. Definitely negatively affected in that case.

Yes, their self-esteem might just build around the number or 'likes' or 'friends' they make on their social networks. Secondly, these kids will be natural born-consumers used to getting their demands catered to, with the world as their playground. Their excessive concern for their well being rising to a new level(being connected to the rest of the world purely through wires, and getting everything they want online from info, to friends, entertainment to food), the connection with the world will snap off. Its already happened in my generation of people. Most of them cannot feel outside their skin at all. So, with so much mind and emotions being spent purely through the internet and so much self-assessment being formed from what people on the net say about you (and this can happen very subconsciously) most of these kids are likely to be repelled from the 'real' world for all reasons besides sleep, food and toilet. What happens in the net is all that will matter to them. The opinions of their 'friends' on the net will be paramount. What an era we're headed into.

Sunset of Age
11-21-2011, 05:10 PM
Yes, their self-esteem might just build around the number or 'likes' or 'friends' they make on their social networks. Secondly, these kids will be natural born-consumers used to getting their demands catered to, with the world as their playground. Their excessive concern for their well being rising to a new level(being connected to the rest of the world purely through wires, and getting everything they want online from info, to friends, entertainment to food), the connection with the world will snap off. Its already happened in my generation of people. Most of them cannot feel outside their skin at all. So, with so much mind and emotions being spent purely through the internet and so much self-assessment being formed from what people on the net say about you (and this can happen very subconsciously) most of these kids are likely to be repelled from the 'real' world for all reasons besides sleep, food and toilet. What happens in the net is all that will matter to them. The opinions of their 'friends' on the net will be paramount. What an era we're headed into.

Good post.
One of the problems I see with social media, is that people tend to 'friend' and 'get friended' by merely people with the same interests, moral values, political views, etc. Which definitely narrows a person's view on the world, as they sort-of hide away from any real discussions, debates, dissenting opinions and the like by doing so. I think everyone needs to get confronted with other views and opinions once in a while, if only to be able to form your own a little better. What's left of any a genuine discussion when all you get is your 'friends' clicking 'like' on your FB page at whatever you post?

Also... might just be me, but with nearly everyone being sort-of glued to their mobile phones nowadays, I also sense a diminishing in interest, or even awareness of the people around them, sometimes even adding up to situations which I consider 'rude'. I notice cashiers at the supermarkt not even getting any greeting from customers anymore, because said customers are too busy yapping in their phones or updating their FBs.

Or the worst case I ever came across: an attorney, in a train packed-to-the-rafters at rush hour, explicitely and loudly discussing a client/case with her phone, and it went on for a rather long period. As if the world around her didn't even exist anymore - not to mention, as if her client would approve of his/her case being yapped about in a full train compartment. :o

Of course the internet and social media have plenty of good things to offer as well but I think we just should not close our eyes for its disadvantages to social interaction in Real Life just the same.

Roger the Dodger
11-21-2011, 05:42 PM
Good post.
One of the problems I see with social media, is that people tend to 'friend' and 'get friended' by merely people with the same interests, moral values, political views, etc. Which definitely narrows a person's view on the world, as they sort-of hide away from any real discussions, debates, dissenting opinions and the like by doing so. I think everyone needs to get confronted with other views and opinions once in a while, if only to be able to form your own a little better. What's left of any a genuine discussion when all you get is your 'friends' clicking 'like' on your FB page at whatever you post?

I think its more than hiding-away (which means the stimulus for discussing still is there within oneself - which is after all what one is hiding/running away from). What I feel is the stimulus to discuss will itself begin to lack soon enough, if it isn't already lacking, because one's whole universe will be based on one's personal likes and dislikes alone. So there would be no need to take an objective view of life and the world when your subjective view will always be fulfilled by the friends on the internet, by you 'choosing' to do what you want (and you always choosing not what you need but what fills your personal appetite, your particular tastes and vanities). Which means the personal universe of a man will become his whole universe. And worse, he wouldn't feel the need to know more when his emotional, mental and physical (with home delivery) needs are taken care of.

I already see this trend in kids, because if these little cretins are faulted or told to do the right thing, you can see they don't like it. They get angry and want to have their way. They are used to it. So if they can't have it here in the world, they'll go where they can have it in peace. In a sense, retire into new age media of internet, text messages, and videogames where each of these little cretins is a bigheaded 'star'. And parents would soon be reduced to the role of being agents who get the food and keep the house where they stay. Its dangerous us adults don't know how to handle the nippers.

Also... might just be me, but with nearly everyone being sort-of glued to their mobile phones nowadays, I also sense a diminishing in interest, or even awareness of the people around them, sometimes even adding up to situations which I consider 'rude'. I notice cashiers at the supermarkt not even getting any greeting from customers anymore, because said customers are too busy yapping in their phones or updating their FBs.


I never got it why people are so glued to their phones. I thought of two reasons though:

One, I feel is that looking at the phone is also like putting on goggles or listening to your i-pod: a subtler form of escape from society into your own shell.

Two, for those who actually update status on FB and TwTr from moment to moment, its just infatuation.


Or the worst case I ever came across: an attorney, in a train packed-to-the-rafters at rush hour, explicitely and loudly discussing a client/case with her phone, and it went on for a rather long period. As if the world around her didn't even exist anymore - not to mention, as if her client would approve of his/her case being yapped about in a full train compartment. :o

Interestingly, I believe when the phone wasn't as ubiquitous as it is now, most people might have thought twice before engaging their private conversations in public. But nowadays, I hear people who are in one particular place unabashedly lying about their location or activity to the ones on the phone.

Of course the internet and social media have plenty of good things to offer as well but I think we just should not close our eyes for its disadvantages to social interaction in Real Life just the same.

Its dangerous to think what will happen ten years from now. So many interesting hypothetical scenarios come up. Stuff for those writing Sci-fi. I personally think the nippers in today's world, if unchecked by morals (though I prefer something else) or good thoughts/ some guiding light - might just be 'happy & guiltless' looters tomorrow. Ten years from now will be telling. London raid by the youngsters few months back was only a foreword.

tennisfan856
11-21-2011, 06:45 PM
My opinion could be rather extreme (when isn't it) but I believe that the internet is a breeding ground for a lot of psychological disorders if the individual becomes absorbed or spends too much time on certain content that can affect them emotionally.

For example, as much as I enjoy message boards, I often wasted a lot of positive energy arguing with people on certain topics and it would always turn ugly. Here's a person who I'll never meet, get me so riled up that I actually think about what was typed out after i log out/turn off the computer. And then when the machine is off, I think about if i received a response back yet and if it was hateful/negative. If it was, I would spiral more downward. Just my example shows the neurotic patterns in human behavior, and I am grateful for getting a grasp on it.

Even this forum, if you aren't careful, you can get immersed in the trolling/flaming and it emotionally takes a toll on you. People say grow thick skin, and I call bs. No matter how you try to detach yourself emotionally from the content, you will still get pulled in. As sad as it is, I think the internet needs more censorship because it's become rather obvious to me that a lot of people can't use free speech properly.

As for social media, I just had two drunk girls outside my house take a ton of photos of them falling into my pile of leaves and also of my car (god knows why). I step out and ask them to leave and they start running to their car flashing the camera. It was midnight, but I still saw the camera angled at my direction. Now I'm going to be on someone's facebook or twitter as the "asshole owner" that ruined our fun.

Facebook and twitter really are anti-social tools and I hope one day society will come to its senses. Additionally, I hate how privacy is invaded even if you don't have control over it. What's stopping someone from posting a picture of you from their phone and then pasting it on their twitter/facebook?

I know I went on a rollercoaster of subjects, but this is a nervy issue for me.

Bilbo
11-21-2011, 07:07 PM
Definately.

This is also one major point in the seduction community. People tend to not look at each other because they rather listen to music or play with their smartphone. In addition, communicating and flirting over the internet has led to less conversations between people. The consequences are: less happy people, more singles, more broken relationships, more divorces, etc.

Steve Jobs might have been great at marketing but not for what he has done to the world. Of course there are also other people but he comes first to my mind.


I don't think social media/texting has reduced our ability to be social in real life it's just reduced the amount of times we do it. To forget how to hold a conversation irl seems absurd to me.

I think you are totally wrong on this, Dini. I can definately see the problems literally each day. It's also discussed in literature.

buddyholly
11-21-2011, 07:10 PM
Of course it has. We used to refer sarcastically to people with nothing to say as twittering nincompoops. Now twittering is acceptable behaviour. Perfect for those that can't deal with more than one sentence at time.

shiaben
11-21-2011, 10:15 PM
Yeah, I have a few friends now, you can go out, and almost every 5 seconds they will put their eyes back on their disgusting phones. People appear to be robotic now. Almost emotionless, all fixated on text messaging and their precious iphones. Oh well.

Seingeist
11-21-2011, 10:17 PM
It's not really that it turns people into hermits. What it does is turn people into empty wastes of air, more or less. People who simply don't have anything there to offer, because their lives are inside a computer, I-Pod, etc.

Hmm.

I'm on Facebook, and back in the day I had a relatively inactive "Xanga" account.

Oddly enough, to the best of my knowledge, I have yet to transform into an "empty waste of air." I'll tell my wife to stay on alert, though.

rosespower
11-22-2011, 02:49 PM
is not the social media itself i think that affected negatively the social skills but the fact that we can have access to it so easily through the mobile phones. the thing is many of us forget sometimes that we can stop checking twitter facebook or emails while we are meeting our friends. i mean your friends are there. is ridiculous sometimes how people engage in internet interaction while being in the same room. if you can use social media everywhere everytime doesn't mean you should. live life more. instead of tweeting/put on facebook a photo of a beautiful sunset try to enjoy it and leave the text/status composing later.