i think i'm just about to come out :) (should i be smiling??) [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

i think i'm just about to come out :) (should i be smiling??)

Dmitry Verdasco
10-31-2011, 08:15 AM
i told my sister ages ago, and kind of my sisters bf.
they told my mother but she dismissed it.

last friday i told my sisters bf again, and he told my sister and she told my mother.

she asked me about it again and i said i was. she said that we should talk about and i asked her to tell my dad and my brother because i can't.

i don't know how to feel, im scared to face either of them. really scared. ive been trying to work up the courage to come out for years and years and years! im 21. ... and today could be the day! please wish me good luck with how the rest of my family takes it.

im hoping for the best :) but realistic....

GOAT = Fed
10-31-2011, 09:10 AM
Is your culture not accepting of gay men?

fast_clay
10-31-2011, 11:05 AM
you're in sydney, no...? if so, is maybe in the top 2 most tolerant cities in the southern hemishpere so unless you're family bloodlines are 75% bogan or more then you should be alright i'd say, despite any gruff exterior... old man says 'wtf?!?' and chucks a wobbly?? Answer: f*** it, get a one year visa to Whoknowsfukwhere, go travelling... the other option is to be constantly pissed off complaining to mtf about a severe lack of bum fun...

Snowwy
10-31-2011, 11:10 AM
Good luck

Dmitry Verdasco
10-31-2011, 01:10 PM
Is your culture not accepting of gay men?

you're in sydney, no...? if so, is maybe in the top 2 most tolerant cities in the southern hemishpere so unless you're family bloodlines are 75% bogan or more then you should be alright i'd say, despite any gruff exterior... old man says 'wtf?!?' and chucks a wobbly?? Answer: f*** it, get a one year visa to Whoknowsfukwhere, go travelling... the other option is to be constantly pissed off complaining to mtf about a severe lack of bum fun...

Not at all :lol: I live near the mining region in ~central QLD. Not many gay role models up here, I think I personally know one gay teacher and one gay chef, and two guys I went to school with. That's all I personally know, not even acquaintances though. No one in my extended family has come out as gay and I have a BIG family. I may be a pioneer :dance:

Good luck

Thanks alot. No action yet but I'm on edge every time I'm around my brother and father. I don't know if my mum will tell me when she tells them. I'm scared but really excited. It's been torture, I've completely shut myself off from society and the pressure to hook up with some girl. All this tension could soon be behind me. I'm just excited. All I can picture is me putting something about it on facebook (after my family all know) and getting like 200 likes. :awww: That would make me feel so good and accepted and comfortable the next time I see everyone. Maybe I'm being too optimistic. Can you change sexual preference on your facebook? - and will it come up on everyone elses? Just askin'...

JolánGagó
10-31-2011, 01:31 PM
You seem to live in the middle of Bogan Central, I advise at least inter-state emigration.

Chase Visa
10-31-2011, 01:37 PM
Move to a real place, not bogan town. Then you won't have to put up with intolerant fuckwits and can be the boy you wanna be.

fast_clay
10-31-2011, 02:10 PM
for f**ks sake... i come from village nsw, sticks mate, and speaking as a reformed bogan myself, i'd advise that you put some cash together and get the firetruck out of mt isa or wherever you are living at the moment... you'll end up knifing some poor c*nt...

Ilovetheblues_86
10-31-2011, 02:20 PM
Antropology/sociology of central Australia looks quite dramatic. Good luck.

scoobs
10-31-2011, 02:34 PM
Best of luck, hope it all goes well.

Make sure you have some people you can talk to in case things don't go so well.

RagingLamb
10-31-2011, 02:39 PM
Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.

tennizen
10-31-2011, 03:08 PM
Think back to the time when you were born. Were you smiling then?

Filo V.
10-31-2011, 03:12 PM
What you need to do is make sure you have a place to stay if things get drastic. There is a reason why nearly half of homeless individuals are LGBT. If your family doesn't accept you, then you need to be able to find someone/somewhere to go so you can survive and have a support system. That's the #1 thing. You need to have close friends who you can confide in. You don't want to be in a toxic environment where you feel lonely. I was talking to someone homophobic idiot from central Australia literally yesterday so it's a problem. If your parents react harshly, since you're 21, you really have no options so there are some things you need to plan beforehand.

Also, don't let homophobic pieces of shit ever dictate your happiness or the course of your existence. If they don't accept you then they aren't family. Fuck the insecurities, fuck the fear, and just .say, you know what, I'm gay, this is what I have always been, done. Just put it on the table. It may take a bit for your family to adjust so don't get too depressed to quickly. But ultimately, you need to look out for yourself.

Filo V.
10-31-2011, 03:13 PM
You should smile about your future as a out and proud gay man and being able to live your life freely. As the campaign rightly puts it, it gets better.

abraxas21
10-31-2011, 04:22 PM
never liked your posts and always thought you were a bit of a clown but i genuinely wish you good luck in this

shiaben
10-31-2011, 06:02 PM
This is my personal advice. Don't even talk about this issues with your family yet. Live with them like you normally do, then once you're able to move out and start your career and run your own life. You can choose to talk to them about it then. If they accept, they accept, if they hate you, they will hate you. From there, you have power over your life. But if you are living under someone's roof, you have to put up with their values for "an X amount of time" until you can get your own place. Be clever. Good luck.

Har-Tru
10-31-2011, 06:58 PM
Get out of your little town, move to a city, start a life on your own and suddenly being yourself and living your life won't feel quite as difficult. Good luck.

Hian-GOAT
10-31-2011, 09:47 PM
Good luck guy! You rock :yeah:
Don't have problems telling the world who you're: you're amazing, no matter what they say!
And consider yourself a bit lucky, too: there are countries (the same Italy), where gay people aren't still accepted, but you live into an evolved country (and beautiful place), take advantage of it :)
Let us know hot it goes :rocker2:

abraxas21
10-31-2011, 09:50 PM
if you're dad looks anything like this, i'd advise you to come out with a letter or an e-mail

http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/westie.jpg