Dear Nole: From our lips to hunk-god's ears [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Dear Nole: From our lips to hunk-god's ears

jchuabh
01-14-2010, 06:29 PM
Dear Nole

What was that garbageous display all about? You sucked. Royally.

Hope it was nothing more than your eyes hurting from the hideousness of Nando's Adidas attire. No one, BUT NO ONE, should lose 1-6, 2-6 to one of Nadal's castrati, er, compatriots. Double shame on you.

Look, I still love you. But one more poopyheaded performance like yesterday's and I may have to revisit my crush on Dick Cheney. Please don't make me do it, especially since the old guy's heart is liable to give out any day now. So pull up your socks, k?

Talk to you again. Hopefully under happier circumstances.

Noleta
01-14-2010, 06:36 PM
Dear Nole

What was that garbageous display all about? You sucked. Royally.

Hope it was nothing more than your eyes hurting from the hideousness of Nando's Adidas attire. No one, BUT NO ONE, should lose 1-6, 2-6 to one of Nadal's castrati, er, compatriots. Double shame on you.

Look, I still love you. But one more poopyheaded performance like yesterday's and I may have to revisit my crush on Dick Cheney. Please don't make me do it, especially since the old guy's heart is liable to give out any day now. So pull up your socks, k?

Talk to you again. Hopefully under happier circumstances.

I luuuuuuuuuuuuurve garbageous:hearts:

:haha::haha::worship:

Certinfy
01-14-2010, 06:41 PM
Let's face it, Verdasco just rules, no? ;)

pica_pica
01-15-2010, 04:47 PM
Dear Nole

What was that garbageous display all about? You sucked. Royally.

Hope it was nothing more than your eyes hurting from the hideousness of Nando's Adidas attire. No one, BUT NO ONE, should lose 1-6, 2-6 to one of Nadal's castrati, er, compatriots. Double shame on you.

Look, I still love you. But one more poopyheaded performance like yesterday's and I may have to revisit my crush on Dick Cheney. Please don't make me do it, especially since the old guy's heart is liable to give out any day now. So pull up your socks, k?

Talk to you again. Hopefully under happier circumstances.
:lol: :yeah: Great job!

Nole fan
01-15-2010, 10:22 PM
:haha:

FlameOn
01-15-2010, 10:26 PM
Don't worry, he'll redeem himself for AO I'm sure. :haha:

FlameOn
01-15-2010, 10:29 PM
BTW Nando's Adidas attire is fine. :)

~Maya~
01-17-2010, 06:23 PM
:haha:

jchuabh
01-18-2010, 08:59 AM
Dear Nole

Did you see the disgust on Tomic's face at the end of your Kooyong match? Yes, it's come to this. You've earned the contempt of an opponent who's probably too young to have sex legally.

Thought I'd spell out the magnitude of your disgrace on Saturday in terms you'd understand, Mr Novak "Sex is what we're put on earth for" Djokovic. You're welcome.

Talk to you again. Or not. :ras:

jchuabh
01-18-2010, 09:25 AM
Dear Nole

Oh well, it was just an exhibition. Not like you've given the kid tons of confidence in your future encounters so he'll blight your career path forevermore. No sirree.

Anyhoo, I see Noleta's been on this thread. Don't you just love the nic? Wish I'd thought of it first. Great gal she is, too.

Although - and I hate to be telling tales out of school - :secret: she's apparently a big fan of the Mallorcan Mumbler.

I know, I know, I don't get it either. But at least she doesn't appear to be a Fedalite, unlike some people whom I shall not name <cough> pica pica <cough>

There really is no accounting for taste. If Snow White had an eighth dwarf named Flatulent, doncha think he'd look like the fart-faced Federer? How anyone can deify this pukesome blot on the tenniscape is beyond even my vast powers of comprehension.

Guess one woman's gaga trigger is another's gag reflex.

Talk to you again. The Sphincteral Spaniard is on TV now and being tested. This I gotta see...hope springs eternal.

Okonsky
01-18-2010, 10:01 AM
Dear Nole

Oh well, it was just an exhibition. Not like you've given the kid tons of confidence in your future encounters so he'll blight your career path forevermore. No sirree.

Anyhoo, I see Noleta's been on this thread. Don't you just love the nic? Wish I'd thought of it first. Great gal she is, too.

Although - and I hate to be telling tales out of school - :secret: she's apparently a big fan of the Mallorcan Mumbler.

I know, I know, I don't get it either. But at least she doesn't appear to be a Fedalite, unlike some people whom I shall not name <cough> pica pica <cough>

There really is no accounting for taste. If Snow White had an eighth dwarf named Flatulent, doncha think he'd look like the fart-faced Federer? How anyone can deify this pukesome blot on the tenniscape is beyond even my vast powers of comprehension.

Guess one woman's gaga trigger is another's gag reflex.

Talk to you again. The Sphincteral Spaniard is on TV now and being tested. This I gotta see...hope springs eternal.

That january of 2010 Lady Gaga collapsed in the middle of her concert. Yes, she is. Federer was shaken (and cried more than two hours of course). PR said she'll be ok (Roger too) and finally revealed ultimate truth - Gaga is female! Yay.

See Novak, shit happens all the time.

jchuabh
01-24-2010, 05:31 AM
Dear Nole

Another flattering scoreline, eh? Hey, maybe we can ride this Lady Luck to the title!

You know, if you don't win this, I sure hope Vladimir Davydenko does. Not that I'm a fan, but I infinitely prefer the Donkey to any of the three asses - Swiss, Spaniard, Scot.

I see Nadal's about to finish off Karlovic. Bet most people's first thought when they see the Mallorcan is "Clay King." Not me. All I can muster is "Combover waiting to happen."

Also, what's the deal with his "famoose ass"? Am I the only one who doesn't find that butt all that it's cracked up to be? :)

Seems you're pretty pally with the guy. Must say I'm really concerned. Did you misunderstand your new fitness coach's tip for beefing up: "Make dumbbells your best friends"?

Talk to you again. Meanwhile, never ever forget to thoroughly wash your hands after shaking Nadal's.

Noleta
01-24-2010, 09:02 AM
:lol::rolls::yeah:

*Ljubica*
01-24-2010, 01:21 PM
:rolls: "Combover waiting to happen" :lol: :rolls:

jchuabh
01-24-2010, 04:45 PM
Dear Nole

Dang. I was so hoping this AO would usher in the era of the great Djokovic-Del Potro rivalry. (Please go away, Murray.)

Don't know why everybody seems to be looking forward to the Nadal/Murray QF. They win so much only because their deadly dull style of play usually sends their opponent into a stupor. Just for once I'd like to see them do that to each other and perhaps bring the match to a standstill.

Suddenly I feel like Kissinger during the Iran-Iraq war: "Couldn't they both lose?"

Later, Serbinator.

PennyThePenguin
01-24-2010, 06:22 PM
NIKOLAY davydenko ;) not vladimir :lol:

FlameOn
03-15-2010, 01:45 PM
This funny yet true letter is starting to look even more relevant now. :sad: :shrug:

What has happened to Nole's illustrious game? :hysteric:

pica_pica
03-15-2010, 04:10 PM
OMG :rolls: I don't read this thread much and just read all these letters. Classic :worship:

mlle mila
01-31-2011, 02:29 PM
Dear Nole

What was that garbageous display all about? You sucked. Royally.

Hope it was nothing more than your eyes hurting from the hideousness of Nando's Adidas attire. No one, BUT NO ONE, should lose 1-6, 2-6 to one of Nadal's castrati, er, compatriots. Double shame on you.

Look, I still love you. But one more poopyheaded performance like yesterday's and I may have to revisit my crush on Dick Cheney. Please don't make me do it, especially since the old guy's heart is liable to give out any day now. So pull up your socks, k?

Talk to you again. Hopefully under happier circumstances.

:wavey: Something nice please.:angel:

Sleepwalker64
01-31-2011, 02:35 PM
:wavey: Something nice please.:angel:
Yeah:)))
We want a new letter from the biggest and funniest critic:)))

jchuabh
01-31-2011, 06:32 PM
My dearest, darlingest Nole

Thankyouthankyouthankyou for one of the most wonderful fortnights of my life to date. You have at long last vindicated the faith that I have always had in you. I'm afraid not everyone on this board has been as unwaveringly steadfast a believer as me. The whineybags here know who they are, I'm sure. ;)

Anyhoo, even though right now you must be drowning in tributes from all over the world, I feel compelled to pile on the praises in my own humble manner.

So, herewith, the top 10 ways in which my life has changed since I became an ardent fan of yours.

10) Used to hate alcohol. Then you "entered" my life. The rest is hic!story.

9) Favourite exclamatory expression “Whoa Nellie!” replaced by “Whoa Nole!”

8) Weekly therapy session invariably begins with the good doctor asking, “And how is Mr Djokovic playing at the moment?”

7) Cell group meetings these days end with “Now let’s pray for Brother Nole.”

6) Passport renewal application “under review” as a result of careless entry under "Religion": “Born-again Serb”. (This happened, I might add, after your Davis Cup victory.)

5) Old Public Enemy #1: Osama bin Laden (“Die already, you fugly bastard.”). New Public Enemy #1: Whomever you're playing against (“Double fault already, you fugly baboon.”)

4) In honour of your signature shot, I now only pay double-backhanded compliments. Recent example: “That’s a brilliant dress you’ve got on. Hides your big ass beautifully AND amplifies your tiny boobs. Nice!”

3) Used to be a fervent campaigner for animal rights; am now a fervent campaigner against compression shorts in men's tennis.

2) Have already decided own epitaph will read: “She loved Novak Djokovic to death.”

And the #1 way in which my life has changed since I became an ardent fan of yours...

Previous career ambition: Towering figure in the world of kabuki theatre. Present career ambition: Towel girl at Djokovic matches. :drool:

Until the French Open, sweetheart, :kiss:

Sleepwalker64
01-31-2011, 06:58 PM
:worship::haha::haha::haha::bigclap:

I hope you're writing seriously somewhere...something anywhere. You're good, really good.
I didn't get it that you're a girl:p

Lee
01-31-2011, 07:20 PM
Thank You!!! Thank You!!! Thank You!!!!!

mlle mila
01-31-2011, 07:29 PM
:kiss: Thank you :haha:

«Ivan»
01-31-2011, 09:31 PM
phenomenal:worship:

Lee
03-27-2013, 03:13 AM
Miss the funniest Nole fan here :awww:

Nole fan
03-27-2013, 09:31 PM
Miss the funniest Nole fan here :awww:

The day Nole started winning, she was gone. She was a loserhunter. :shrug:

arm
03-27-2013, 10:02 PM
Let's all PM her maybe she comes back. :bounce:

arm
03-27-2013, 10:04 PM
Meanwhile, someone should write Nole a letter in her absence.

Volunteers?

Nole fan
03-27-2013, 11:50 PM
LOL you start Raquel and then we go by parts each one. I'm sure we have many things to tell him. :p

Nole fan
03-27-2013, 11:53 PM
Lol just reading her last letters I can't stop laughing... she really had a way with words. She's very missed. :awww:

ProdigyEng
03-28-2013, 12:00 AM
Miss the funniest Nole fan here :awww:
Like I said harcos is the funniest Nole fan ;)

Lee
03-28-2013, 12:08 AM
Like I said harcos is the funniest Nole fan ;)

Joe going to ignore list :ras:

arm
03-28-2013, 02:36 AM
LOL you start Raquel and then we go by parts each one. I'm sure we have many things to tell him. :p

But whatever we write it will always get compared to her art work... and she was really good at this. :awww:

ProdigyEng
03-28-2013, 04:14 AM
Joe going to ignore list :ras:

I hope you're only joking with me :sad:.

Lee
03-28-2013, 04:52 AM
I hope you're only joking with me :sad:.

It's hard :sobbing: But since poor Mikey was permaban today, I will give you another chance :sad:



;)