* Hit aces as much as possible. Preferably on every point. Might be tough on return games but try anyway.
* Usually hitting powerful on the line winners is a winning play.
* Distract your opponent by picking your ass in between ground strokes.
* Dead net cords are also a good source of points unless your opponent is at the net.
* Bounce the balls as many times as you like until you feel you are ready to hit an ace.
* If you're losing take a medical timeout. Pretend you're half dead and miraculously recover when your opponent stops trying. If you're still losing after that just quit.
I can understand that your posts mainly consist of pointless "sarcasm", but is it really necessary to write that many words if you donīt have anything constructive to say? This thread is obviously about a serious question, not a normal GM Fed-Rafa thread...
Good posts by Bobby and Trixtah, just have fun, donīt overtry, try to play the game you feel comfortable with, donīt try to exceed your abilities, even if your opponent is better than you. If you lose, donīt be too hard on yourself, there will always be another match!