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MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general

44K views 598 replies 231 participants last post by  Looner 
#1 · (Edited)
Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)
 
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#73 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Instead of a tiebreak the crowd will decide the winner of a set in a "HOT or NOT" contest, where the 2 players strip to their underwear (got to keep it decent, there are kids in those events after all) and strut around the court to be judged by the spectators. The hotter of the 2 will win the set.

That will make even Nalby sweat every day in the gym and cut down on those burgers! As for Ljubicic, Stepanek, etc, they will have to make sure they break, or have plastic surgery, or play against each other. :p
 
#75 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Whichever player can consume the most *insert alcoholic beverage of choice* at the changeovers and still ace his opponent wins the game.

Whichever umpire can consume the most *iaboc* and still keep track of the score...wait, they already instituted this one. :eek: My bad.
 
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#78 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

24 second shotclock. if the point is not over by then and if the ball has not crossed the net on your side, you lose the point.
 
#79 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

To implement a system of apartheid where the top 10 players can only mix with other top 10 players and that they can only leave through certain doors, whereas the others have to go through numbered doors like 11-30 depending on ranking.

Oh I forgot de Villiers is from South Africa and he would be used to apartheid.
 
#80 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

From Lee

There will be an armwrestling competition held in Las Vegas between tournament directors to decide who will get the players they wanted to play.
Fucking brilliant. That must be why he gets the big bucks.

http://www.menstennisforums.com/showpost.php?p=4384795&postcount=21
 
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#81 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

There is a rumour that Ebeneezer Scrooge has been appointed as the treasurer for the ATP.
 
#82 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

This is the car that they will win and travel around in.



For winning MM events, the winners will be awarded.

 
#84 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Players must wear this underwear.

 
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#85 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Give Mr.Disney a chance, at best, he will make tennis more popular for the masses.

At worst, he sucks and will get his ass kicked out eventually.
 
#86 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Give Mr.Disney a chance, at best, he will make tennis more popular for the masses.

At worst, he sucks and will get his ass kicked out eventually.
Not surprising you'd come up with a statement like this and there are more than enough reasons as to why Disney is a problem and not an asset to the ATP.

If you like cheap gimmicks then be my guest.
 
#87 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Replace the ugly players with models.
After all, who's interested at looking at UGLY guys hitting a ball?
 
#90 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Another one: the player that gets a BH winner from Lalo is automatically disqualified from the tournament. If the BH is DTL, he's also disqualified from next week's tournament.
that!!!!!!!
the best one so far!
 
#91 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

new rule: beer tennis

you have to drink a beer ad fundum(=all at once) after every game you win. Grand slams count double :)
If you try to get the other drunk by tanking a set, the crowd can decide if they want to give you a full round of 5 or 10 beers.
French people are allowed to drink wine and Russian wodka.
 
#92 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

new rule: beer tennis

you have to drink a beer ad fundum(=all at once) after every game you win. Grand slams count double :)
If you try to get the other drunk by tanking a set, the crowd can decide if they want to give you a full round of 5 or 10 beers.
French people are allowed to drink wine and Russian wodka.
That's a very interesting suggestion. Although in my opinion, only drinks of the same alcohol content should be allowed, to keep it fair. The player who wins the coin toss will decide the type of drink.

This idea gives a whole new dimension to tennis, including endorsement deals, off-season training practices etc...

It also gives a whole new meaning to 5-set matches. And in the end, no matter who wins, both players will be happily singing and laughing together, who knows, even treat the spectators to a strip-tease dance... :D

I nominate madmanfool for ATP president. :lol:
 
#94 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

*The Anti-Dave Law: Balls should have the same colour as the court.
*Only players with Six packs are allowed to take of their shirts.
*Bring a Dressing table plus mirror and Make-Up on cort each time Feli plays.
*To ruin Dave's career, bring a buffet for the losers on the court :devil:
*Federer plays with Wooden racket.
*Monfils should be allowed to bring his Laptop with Internet access on the court.
 
#100 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

They should play in circus tents.

 
#101 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

exactly...put the courts in circus tents

and if we are already trying to make every round robin tournament a federer vs. nadal final, we might as well save the other players the trip and only have one match each week
 
#116 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

exactly...put the courts in circus tents

and if we are already trying to make every round robin tournament a federer vs. nadal final, we might as well save the other players the trip and only have one match each week
I doubt Federer and Nadal will play many RR events

and I dont think GS and Masters Series will be RR
 
#102 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Anyone who gets beaten by a clean winner by Karlovic from the baseline.

They have to be shot out of a cannon into shark infested waters.
 
#104 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Resign immediately.
 
#105 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Commentators should be ordered to refer to all Russian players as evil communists. The masses will clamour to watch good do battle with evil and ratings will go through the roof. It'll be Rocky IV on a tennis court every week. People will be too engrossed in the action to bother checking if Russia has indeed reverted to communism.
 
#106 ·
Re: Mr Disney De Villiers welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

BALCO should be official supplier of suppliments to the players.
 
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