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post #241 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 02:13 PM
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to a new milestone!
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post #242 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 02:13 PM
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HERE IT COMES!!!
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post #243 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 02:15 PM
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[marquee]1000!!![/marquee]

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post #244 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Layla
Rise and shine everyone! Let's start posting people, come on!



*a tad overzealous*
Considering my time stamp to this message is 5:12 am, yeah, I'd say you were a bit overzealous to start posting

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Tennis Refuge

You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #245 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 06:55 PM
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Red face Hackie has a lucid moment

Hackie & Juan Carlos are hidden in the population of Layla's huge city. Hackie has a small apartment (that she had previously cleaned of the markings of her obsession with her love Juan Carlos).

I hope you don't mind the old standard.

Hackie produces an acoustic guitar and proceeds to play.

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know why
Nobody told you
Have to unfold your love
I don't know how
Someone controlled you
They bought & sold you

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know how
You were diverted
You were perverted too
I don't know
You were inverted
No one altered you

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
Look at you all . . .
Still my guitar gently weeps.

Juan Carlos smiles and takes Hackie's hand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Tennis Refuge

You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #246 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 07:25 PM
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Angry NOT HER!

Later that day, Hackie goes out to buy a few necessities. She sees Layla wandering around.

My eyes are so rootless
They wander, I follow
I keep staring, I can't stop it
I know I shouldn't
But I can't stop it

Such a cute girl
I'm so jealous
I wish I looked exactly like her
What's it like to have that body?
I'm gawking while I wonder

S-T-A-R-I-N-G
I can't stop staring
S-T-A-R-I-N-G
I can't stop staring

With my envy I steal glances
Resentful fault finder
This peek-a-boo's become a problem
Predisposed cat fighter

S-T-A-R-I-N-G
I can't stop staring
S-T-A-R-I-N-G
I can't stop staring

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #247 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 07:45 PM
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Hey, I can't help it if I'm beautiful.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
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post #248 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 07:48 PM
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Wink Meanwhile, back on the tour

As Juan Carlos warms up for his first match on tour since Roland Garros, Cliff Drysdale & Patrick McEnroe take a moment to gossip.

Cliff: Well, Patrick, this is Ferrero's first match since his win at Roland Garros, and what an incredible win that was.

PMac: Yeah, Cliff, let's watch some highlights of that final match. Juan Carlos came out storming, taking the first set from the resurgent Guga Kuerten with one break of serve !, 6-4. The second set was much the same, 7-5 in Ferrero's favor. Guga came back, taking the next two sets, but it was all Ferrero as he broke Guga and served for the match.

Cliff: And we all remember that kiss, don't we? (Next video tape is of Layla falling over the panelling at the bottom of the stadium as she goes to kiss Juan Carlos--it's one of those "America's Funniest Home Video" moments)

PMac (laughs): Yes, we do. I heard she was just fine afterwards. I guess the red clay broke her fall.

Cliff: Besides winning Roland Garros for the first time, Juan Carlos also got married to that lucky girl. He spent Wimbledon on his honeymoon, the first Wimbledon he's missed since he began playing the full tour.

PMac: Well, you know those Spaniards! They don't like to play on those lightening fast surfaces.

Cliff: Would you say this is a hard match to come back on? He's playing Greg Rusedski, whom he's never won against.

PMac: Ferrero has been on fire since the French, but Rusedski's a tough opponent on these hard courts. But Juan Carlos has some pretty good passing shots and a lot of firepower frm the ground, especially that forehand. If he can get through this match, I'd say he's a favorite it win the whole tournament!

--------------------------------------------------
later in the match
--------------------------------------------------

PMac: Wow, Cliff, Juan Carlos has surprised even me with his excellent play here!

Cliff: He has broken Greg 4 times in the match. I suppose that big lefty serve isn't working for him today.

PMac: Oh, no, Cliff, it's those passing shots of Ferrero's. (Juan Carlos hits a gorgeous backhand passing shot as he says this.) See, there's another one! Hard to believe this guy's Spanish, eh? He should have played Wimbledon!!

Cliff: I'm sure Tim Henman is glad he didn't (laughs). And he has this woman to thank . . . wait . . .

PMac: Well, Cliff, I don't see the new Mrs. Ferrero anywhere. That's strange. I wonder what happened? No matter. Andy Roddick has just started his match over on Court 3, so we're going to take you there.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #249 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 07:59 PM
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Double LMAO @ TennisHack. Help, I'm drowning in tears of laughter here. Your impersonation of Cliff and Pat is just hilarious.

Btw, your characterization of Layla is spot on. She's such a klutz.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
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post #250 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nacho
[marquee]1000!!![/marquee]
Only 12,000 to go to catch up to the #1 forum!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #251 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Layla
Double LMAO @ TennisHack. Help, I'm drowning in tears of laughter here. Your impersonation of Cliff and Pat is just hilarious.
Smartass is my speciality.

Quote:

Btw, your characterization of Layla is spot on. She's such a klutz.
Well, you know her better than I do

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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post #252 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:22 PM
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Layla is wondering around dazed, not knowing where she is or how she got there, barely able to see through the veil of tears. Suddenly she feels a fierce, piercing gaze that burns through her skin like a laser. She turns around and there she is. The devil. There is no time to think of a perfect thing to say, something that would shut this snake up for good, so she resorts to cliches. She approaches Hackie as menacingly as possible and screams: "Take this message to that rat bastard! And while you're at it, listen to it yourself!" Then she proceeds to scream this song:

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me *hag*
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive *not for long*

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

To be continued.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
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post #253 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:23 PM
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Part 2:

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

The cops show up at the scene and drag poor Layla, foaming at the mouth like a rabid rabbit, to the nearest phsychiatric institution.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
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post #254 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:26 PM
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Nacho

Thanks for getting us over the 1000 milestone! Excellent work!

I think we should crack open a bottle of champagne and celebrate. What do you say?

What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
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post #255 of 25489 (permalink) Old 08-17-2002, 08:36 PM
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Exclamation Trouble on Stadium Court

at the end of Juan Carlos's match:

(score flashes onscreen)

PMac: Wow, Cliff, that was quite a performance by Juan Carlos Ferrero.

Cliff: Indeed, Patrick.

PMac: We're going to take you back to match point as soon as Andy finishes up here--what? We should go back now?

Cliff: Apparently something has happened on court, let's take a look.

Cliff: It appears to be Juan Carlos down there on the court, but who is that screaming person? How did they get down there, through the air-tight tournament security?

PMac: This is probably scaring the fans, they remember when Monica was stabbed by a fan.

Cliff: But this person doesn't appear to have a weapon--what a minute, that's his wife! What's going on?

The cameras close in on Layla as she shoves, punches, and screams at Juan Carlos.

Cliff: She appears to be singing some sort of song . . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Tennis Refuge

You will be missed, Michel Kratochvil!
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