Why Can't People Be More Direct? - MensTennisForums.com

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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:06 PM Thread Starter
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Question Why Can't People Be More Direct?

:sigh:

I get SO frusterated with people who don't just say how they feel, or what is on their mind...

For example I had a roomate all of first year in residence. ALL year I asked her if my late night habbits etc bothered her, and for SEVEN months she told me it was all good

Well 4 weeks before we move out her freind tells me that I'm rude and inconsiderate for all the things I do that keep my roomate awake, and that I should think of her needs to

I basically told the girl that she could eat it since she didn't know my side of the story, and she didn't even know what my habbits were since she didn't live with me.

I was actually really quite hurt, but I'm rather bull headed and don't admit when I'm hurt by something.



My point is that it drives me so mad You don't get what you want in life unless you ask for it, work for it, take it etc -

Keeping things to yourself when you could make things better for you by just opening your mouth, is taking the long way around

I think that I spend way to much time trying to understand why people don't think like me But seriously, I'm so confused

I lack direction.

Chocking makes me sad.
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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:10 PM Thread Starter
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I can actually answer my own question to a degree...

People are sometimes submissivie with their feelings because they dont' want to offend people.

but with the case above, I was far more hurt to know that they all bitched about me, then I would have been if she told me to take a hike one night in Septemeber.

So trying not to offend people usually backfires, they just make it worse.

I lack direction.

Chocking makes me sad.
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:14 PM
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Arguing with yourself again? Do you have any idea how mentally ill you are?

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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:23 PM Thread Starter
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Acutally it shows that I can see both sides of a debate, and have a lot of insight.

It is unfortunate that you don't appear to have the same character traits, they might do you some well.

I lack direction.

Chocking makes me sad.
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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:30 PM
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I kind of agree.
I mean, I dislike it when someone says one thing to my face and other thing to people behind me.

At work, and boss seems to just right notes on my staff member thru the computer, and doesn't state his problem to my face.

My uncle is part owner and also my boss, but it's sad that he has to come to me and talk about that stuff cause my other boss doesn't have the ball to do it.

Do it to my face, and I wont begrudge you.

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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Barrie_Dude
Arguing with yourself again? Do you have any idea how mentally ill you are?
So now you make fun of people who are mentally ill? Oh, how big of you

People who are mentally ill can't help it. You might as well be making fun of people who have cancer

It is unfortunate to see how cold hearted you can be.

I lack direction.

Chocking makes me sad.
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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 03:06 PM
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Oh Please Becca! Noy Way Can You Infer That I Was Making Fun Of Mentally Ill People. In Fact, If You Can Recall Several Posts I Have Made On The Subject Of It, You'd Know I Was A Defender Of The Mentally Ill. But Then, I wouldn't Expect You To Know That.

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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 03:26 PM
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I doubt you'll ever be able to figure it all out, Becca. it is very confusing. But shouldn't you respect the fact that your roommate was considerate enough to not want to hurt your feelings? If you're going to room with her again, I think you should have a nice talk with her to clear the air. She would probably open up to you in a way that you wouldn't be hurt.

And you're right, Becca. People are very submissive with their feelings because they don't want to offend others. But isn't that a good reason?

Becca, these situations are hard to figure out. But so are you. I've been told by someone I trust that you are very nice and soft spoken. I am not surprised to learn this. But sometimes you come accross very aggressively and in a somewhat mean spirited way when it might not be necessary. There have been many occasions where I didn't post a reply in one of your threads because of the possible repurcussions! The good things this person told me about you contradicts your sometimes rough and rampaging posting style!

You seem to have an understanding of people early in life, Becca. Since you do, you have the advantage and should be able to use your understanding in dealing with people.

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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 03:39 PM
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ummm, well said Becca or sumthing

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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 08:41 PM Thread Starter
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lol Chrispy - that was deep



Quote:
Becca, these situations are hard to figure out. But so are you. I've been told by someone I trust that you are very nice and soft spoken. I am not surprised to learn this. But sometimes you come accross very aggressively and in a somewhat mean spirited way when it might not be necessary. There have been many occasions where I didn't post a reply in one of your threads because of the possible repurcussions! The good things this person told me about you contradicts your sometimes rough and rampaging posting style!


Awwww. I come across as mean ? I AM nice and soft spoken - rrr, sort of. I'm just a big thinker, and most of what I do on here is what I'm thinking - but in real life wouldn't act on.

Yes, who knew that Becca was polite

I lack direction.

Chocking makes me sad.
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post #11 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 08:57 PM
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People can't be more direct because they are afraid of the reaction they would get from it.

People should say whatever crap they want. Who cares anymore. No one cares. Just speak whatever comes up in your mind. When did someone actually make you not allow to say some stuff....

Your old roommate was stupid. If something bothers you, just say it. Don't hide it for months.


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post #12 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 08:59 PM
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post #13 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 09:00 PM
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Barrie, you sound like some dirty old man.


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post #14 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 09:01 PM
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Well, I Don't Know About Old..........

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post #15 of 38 (permalink) Old 08-15-2002, 09:18 PM
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Peopl aren't more directed because they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings... it's as simple as that! Especially if it's somebody that they don't know very well. They have no way of knowing how that person would react to being told something offensive so they shut up!
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