Originally Posted by PMK is Innocent
I got this emailed to me from a Serb friend.
Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs. TRUE
Your family owns a coffee grinder..and a nut grinder
Duck tape is your father's only tool next to using a kitchen knife as a screwdriver .
Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac TRUE
You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan -Nah I always got As in history
Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees TRUE
At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there. TRUE
At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests. TRUE
At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina".
You have at least 3 slave to attend to on the same day. TRUE
All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje". TRUE
All weddings have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje". TRUE
All christenings have the cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje". TRUE
A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15. TRUE
At least one of your friends name is "Dragan". - No, only my uncle
You are somehow related to every 1 in 3 Serb girls/boys.
You don't actually attend University, just hang out there and play "tablic".
You can derive "Steve" from "Nenad".
You can derive "David" from "Zeljko".
You can derive "Mark" from "Mirko". TRUE
Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do something he can't either.
Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible.
Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A". TRUE
A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence. TRUE
Your Deda cuts the grass with knee high black socks and slippers. AHHAHAAHAHAH
You work out six days a week, but somehow you dad whoops your ass in like five seconds after he comes home from a thirteen hour day from the bakery/factory/food business.
You own a leather jacket.
You have three pairs of black shoes.
You drive a nicer car than your parents.
There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage. TRUE
There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar. TRUE
You hear birds chirping and see the sun rise every time you come home from the bar.
Your mother still makes your bed.
You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your brother's name.
A lot of it applies to diaspora Serbs more so than Serbs in Serbia, except the alcohol related ones.