I was under acids when I wrote such things.
So which parts are true? Are you actually a vegan?
BTW, tripler... When I have issues with my willy, I do the following steps:
1. Get a soft foam that can mold around your willy
2. Get a flat ice pack like so:
3. Put the ice pack in your penis mold, and rest it gently against you Johnson for an hour or so
4. You should notice your peepee getting numb, but it actually is the feeling of the blood rushing into your private area, thus giving you a very nice wood.
Hope that helps. Also, the kale idea is very good. Perhaps you can enjoy your kale smoothie whilst having your Johnson in the penis mold. Make sure you do this about 2.5 hours prior in preparation, so you will have the stiffy right in time.