Well I am a woman, I may not be a typical woman (I don't know about that) but still... my take on the various answers.
That is all that matters really, if it shines through your character it doesnt really matter what you say to a woman.
Now where to find the source of that confidence is a whole different story.
It is some ol bullshit that you should "just" be yourself, there is no wisdom in such advice at all, there is a war waged out there and only some few winners are selected. So try to better yourself or stand last in line.
Yes with the first part, no to the second part.
It's true that confidence is attractive. Not arrogance, but just the impression that you are comfortable with who you are. You can even be shy, without being insecure, they are two entirely different things.
But when insecurity shines through, or even worse, if you give the impression of being somehow bitter about women, or desperate, then it would put me off.
But I am also put off by a lack of authenticity. So, being yourself is good advice, but that means, if you're insecure and put women off, you probably need to work on yourself first.
it's mostly about self confidence and a little bit of humour here and there.
humour (of the flirting type) + sef confidence (almost bordering on arrogance) = panties dropper
I disagree with that. The idea that you only need to "make women laugh" to win them over is annoying in my opinion... It's not true for me. I don't need a clown to make me laugh, of course, a serious guy who never laughs and has no sense of humour would be boring, but it's so painful when a guy desperately tries to be funny in an attempt to win you over... Usually, it's embarrassing for everyone, and it would even tend to make me angry at the guy.
Don't put her on a pedestal, which it seems like you've already put her on a pedestal and listened to her every whim and keep changing your opinion for her.
Treat her like you would treat any other person, which seems you have already failed at since you keep describing her as if she is some sort of goddess.
This is very true. I had that problem with one of my boyfriends. I believe that maybe, he had been used to more insecure girls, who needed to be reassured constantly... and he probably like the idea, because that made him feel "useful". But a woman who has no self-confidence issues will not be looking for constant validation on your part.
Being treated like you're some kind of princess or goddess is very disturbing: you feel like you should be grateful, but at the same time, you didn't ask for this, and you don't need this, and after a while you even begin to feel like you are being put into a "cage" (because you're expected to be that perfect, supernatural being which you are not).
Stop thinking like this is some game you're supposed to "win". There's no strategy.
Exactly. I think that's the key point. Every woman is different. Of course, some women are insecure and desperately looking for validation, and a man to boost their self-esteem. With such women, "strategies" like treating them like goddesses might work, but that also means you're taking advantage of a weakness, and that's a very unhealthy basis for a relationship. It's disingenuous as well, obviously.
The most important thing is to understand, once and for all, that women are persons. They're not a block of people who behave in the same way. They all have different taste, and different problems, they're looking for different things...
So if you start with the idea that there is one strategy that "works" with women in general, you are already on the wrong path (and it's also a rather misogynist way of thinking, because it denies us our specificities as individuals).
IMO, the sad reality is, it's in great part a matter of luck. If you're lucky enough to be this woman's type, to have a personality that's appealing to her, then unless you screw everything up (by trying to hard to adopt another behaviour, or by hiding too well that you're interested in her so she'll give up on you), you should have no problems.
If you're not attractive to her, then, there isn't much to be done really. I don't think you can "make" yourself attractive to someone by adopting a calculated behaviour. Maybe you can lose a few bad habits that put women off, I don't know. But my opinion is that there really isn't any "strategy". If she likes you, she likes you, if she doesn't, she doesn't, and that's all there is to it.
Usually, men who cannot accept this simple reality are the ones who end up being "friendzoned" as they say, or showering a girl with presents or attentions in the hope of winning her over, and then often they end up calling her a bitch because the strategy doesn't work. But in the majority of cases, the strategy cannot work.
I know that when this has happened to me (a guy who liked me, and whom I didn't particularly like, who wouldn't give up on me and tried to woo me with presents and so on), it actually made the guy quite obnoxious in my eyes, instead of making him more attractive.
Glare, glare and glare. Do not smile. Smiling is for women. Tell her directly that YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HER. Roundabout nonsense never works. Trust me.
Oh please, DO smile! Smiling is for women? BS! Nothing is more appealing to me than a man with a genuine, warm smile.
I agree on the second part, though, do show her clearly (or tell her outright) that you are interested in her. Don't settle in a kind of roundabout approach that will only end up being an annoyance to her and torture to you.