Do you believe in Asexuality? - MensTennisForums.com

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post #1 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:30 PM Thread Starter
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Do you believe in Asexuality?

One of my closest friends told me last night that she and her 18 months boyfriend are breaking up b/c she cant take it anymore.
anyway after a few minutes she told me that its been more then a year that they had sex in fact only in the first Three months of the Relationship they had sex and even then it was cold and strained from his part.

He is a great guy and she sleep at his Apartment at least twice a week, they spend a lot of time together and with friends, she is very pretty, They even had a romantic trip to Prague, Spa and beach house and nothing.

He told her he think he is Asexual but he doesnt want to talk about it or open up.


what do u think?

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post #2 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:33 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

i thought it was an established scientific fact? So no need to believe in it.
The way i see it, it's just a malfunction in the brain. Which means it should be possible to resolve it by means of medication, provided they know what exactly is going wrong.

Feel sorry for the guy (and your friend ofcourse)
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post #3 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:50 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

Why would you feel sorry for him? It's like being gay, I don't feel sorry for gay people being gay. People are the way they are, if we all accepted everyone in spite of all the differences... oh well, one can dream.

I would feel sorry for him if he couldn't feel love at all... for friends, family, etc... But being asexual does not mean that! And he is probably happy the way he is, so..

I do feel sorry for the girl, though
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post #4 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:52 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by Jverweij View Post
i thought it was an established scientific fact? So no need to believe in it.
The way i see it, it's just a malfunction in the brain. Which means it should be possible to resolve it by means of medication, provided they know what exactly is going wrong.

Feel sorry for the guy (and your friend ofcourse)


It's nothing to do with malfunction any more than being gay is a malfunction of the brain

It definitely exists though.

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post #5 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:58 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

people please, i am not at all saying that being gay is a malfunction, please don't twist my words.

I feel sorry for him because how do you think he will be able to maintain a relationship if he does not feel the urge to have sex?
It is not at all that I do not accept an asexual person for who he/she is, but it is hard for that person...
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post #6 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

He just dislike contact, any contact.

i really love him, we all love him...my friend is crazy about him but i think if he would have open up or just talk to her it could have help but well The bottom line is, she wants all of him and he cant give her that.

Hug it out as long as it takes, people
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"People were created to be loved
things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

"יברכך ה' וישמרך,יאר ה' פניו אליך ויחונך,ישא ה' פניו אליך וישם לך שלום"
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post #7 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:02 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by Jverweij View Post
people please, i am not at all saying that being gay is a malfunction, please don't twist my words.

I feel sorry for him because how do you think he will be able to maintain a relationship if he does not feel the urge to have sex?
It is not at all that I do not accept an asexual person for who he/she is, but it is hard for that person...
But maybe he does not want a relationship... Not everyone does. If he accepts himself as asexual and is happy that way there is no reason to feel sorry for him.
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post #8 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:02 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?





On a serious note, maybe he is "asexual". A very small part of the population is, but maybe he is maybe one of them. If he opened up and talk about it maybe he would find out.

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post #9 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:03 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by Jverweij View Post
I feel sorry for him because how do you think he will be able to maintain a relationship if he does not feel the urge to have sex?
It is not at all that I do not accept an asexual person for who he/she is, but it is hard for that person...
Yes and no. He could always find an asexual girlfriend and they could really spend good time with each other.

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Originally Posted by Punky View Post
He just dislike contact, any contact.

i really love him, we all love him...my friend is crazy about him but i think if he would have open up or just talk to her it could have help but well The bottom line is, she wants all of him and he cant give her that.
It's time for her to move on.


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post #10 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by BauerAlmeida View Post



On a serious note, maybe he is "asexual". A very small part of the population is, but maybe he is maybe one of them. If he opened up and talk about it maybe he would find out.
he doesnt want to talk about it...totally close to talk.

i feel sorry for him b/c i hug a lot

Hug it out as long as it takes, people
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"People were created to be loved
things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

"יברכך ה' וישמרך,יאר ה' פניו אליך ויחונך,ישא ה' פניו אליך וישם לך שלום"
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post #11 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:04 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by arm View Post
But maybe he does not want a relationship... Not everyone does. If he accepts himself as asexual and is happy that way there is no reason to feel sorry for him.
fair enough arm, but speculating about him not wanting a relationship is the same as speculating about him wanting a relationship..

let's put it this way, if he's fine with it, I have no reason to feel sorry for him, so I won't. If he's not, I feel sorry for him.


And about the brain malfunction thing, I can see how this has a negative ring to it, though I did not mean anything negative by it.
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post #12 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:05 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by Jverweij View Post
people please, i am not at all saying that being gay is a malfunction, please don't twist my words.

I feel sorry for him because how do you think he will be able to maintain a relationship if he does not feel the urge to have sex?
It is not at all that I do not accept an asexual person for who he/she is, but it is hard for that person...
Well do you feel sorry for gay people because they can't have relationships with straight people since they don't like having sex with the opposite gender?

Same thing goes for asexual people, they form relationships with people that feel the same way or people who don't mind how they are.

Kinsey estimates that 14-19% of the unmarried female population is asexual.

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post #13 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:06 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

I know a few guys who are asexual. But just because they can't get women to have sex with them.

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post #14 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by Taejin View Post

It's time for her to move on.

they are on a break, i think at the weekend they will meet and she will end it.

i must say i dont think i could sleep next to my boyfriend for so long and u know...

Hug it out as long as it takes, people
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things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

"יברכך ה' וישמרך,יאר ה' פניו אליך ויחונך,ישא ה' פניו אליך וישם לך שלום"
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post #15 of 99 (permalink) Old 12-02-2012, 03:11 PM
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Re: Do you believe in Asexuality?

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Originally Posted by orangehat View Post
Well do you feel sorry for gay people because they can't have relationships with straight people since they don't like having sex with the opposite gender?

Same thing goes for asexual people, they form relationships with people that feel the same way or people who don't mind how they are.

Kinsey estimates that 14-19% of the unmarried female population is asexual.
no mate. again stop putting words in my mouth. As I said, the problem is not in having or not having sex, but in having a relationship.
But as Taejin said, that can be resolved by dating another asexual person.

as for the bolded part, this won't work with a person who has sexual needs, unless they come to some kind of agreement about stepping out.
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