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post #16 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 03:04 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

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Cheers Amber! I agree, but I think some people are more affected by poor self-esteem than others.
agreed, some ppl have it in a bigger volume then others.

i do think ppl can change so many things once they believe.

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post #17 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 03:53 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

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post #18 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 03:54 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

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could you elaborate abit? what kind of OCD-related behaviour are you talking about? Do you think the OCD is related to certain events in your life?
Yeah, I moved to uni a few months ago. I feel like I'm double/triple checking things (like whether I have certain things or did certain things) every 15 minutes or so, and it's not normal. Seeing the counselor soon though.

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post #19 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 03:55 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

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If you don't mind me asking, what sort of problems do you yourself encounter with poor self-confidence? With me, it kind of leads to isolation from others, especially when things aren't going my way.



Cheers Amber! I agree, but I think some people are more affected by poor self-esteem than others.
Agreed. I think I have very high self-esteem in that I know what I can do, and I know what I cannot do, and I embrace my weaknesses and strengths.
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post #20 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:13 PM
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Yeah, I moved to uni a few months ago. I feel like I'm double/triple checking things (like whether I have certain things or did certain things) every 15 minutes or so, and it's not normal. Seeing the counselor soon though.
Are you afraid of failing at your study? Because I had that too, only my response was not to study, so I would fail due to lack of effort. Your response might be abit overzealous, but atleast it is positive
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post #21 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:22 PM
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If you don't mind me asking, what sort of problems do you yourself encounter with poor self-confidence? With me, it kind of leads to isolation from others, especially when things aren't going my way.
sure I don't mind I recognise the isolation part. Right now I am looking for a job, and have been for awhile. The problem I encounter is that I seriously fear that I won't be good enough (even though I've finished my education at the university). My way of coping with this is not putting in enough effort, which inevitably leads to not getting a job, and becoming more insecure.

It also leads to isolation abit, even though it is more my doing, than any of my friends'. What happens is my friends are interested in me, and want me to do well. As a result they start asking about jobs and presenting me with job opportunities. I feel obligated to persue these, but I still am not putting enough effort into this. Now I feel embarrassed because I feel I'm letting them down. To avoid this feeling, I start pushing them away abit.

It's loads of running away from stuff tbh. Ironic part is I have a major in social psychology.
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post #22 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:23 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

Some days I wake up and feel like I can do anything. It seldom happens like that, though. Every hit I take makes me back down even more, and inhibits my ability to excel. It's a vicious circle, because the less confident you are, the more likely you are to make mistakes, which in turn makes you feel even less confident and the cycle repeats itself to a more devastating extent each time. In essence, it's the fear of being wrong.
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post #23 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:27 PM
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sure I don't mind I recognise the isolation part. Right now I am looking for a job, and have been for awhile. The problem I encounter is that I seriously fear that I won't be good enough (even though I've finished my education at the university). My way of coping with this is not putting in enough effort, which inevitably leads to not getting a job, and becoming more insecure.

It also leads to isolation abit, even though it is more my doing, than any of my friends'. What happens is my friends are interested in me, and want me to do well. As a result they start asking about jobs and presenting me with job opportunities. I feel obligated to persue these, but I still am not putting enough effort into this. Now I feel embarrassed because I feel I'm letting them down. To avoid this feeling, I start pushing them away abit.

It's loads of running away from stuff tbh. Ironic part is I have a major in social psychology.
Indeed. Often when human beings face a challenge, that is tough, the confident ones face up to it, and the less confident people try and back away. It's a shame,

I understand completely. I get that feeling sometimes, hiding away from things that we know are important. It's so easy for anyone to tell you to try and feel more confident, but it just isn't easy.

Have you tried anything else to help yourself?
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post #24 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:28 PM
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Some days I wake up and feel like I can do anything. It seldom happens like that, though. Every hit I take makes me back down even more, and inhibits my ability to excel. It's a vicious circle, because the less confident you are, the more likely you are to make mistakes, which in turn makes you feel even less confident and the cycle repeats itself to a more devastating extent each time. In essence, it's the fear of being wrong.
well I guess we are facing the same problems m8. How would you say your view on the world is, generally speaking? To elaborate I'm a bit of a pessimist, which I think is at the root of some of my problems.
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post #25 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:30 PM
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Indeed. Often when human beings face a challenge, that is tough, the confident ones face up to it, and the less confident people try and back away. It's a shame,

I understand completely. I get that feeling sometimes, hiding away from things that we know are important. It's so easy for anyone to tell you to try and feel more confident, but it just isn't easy.

Have you tried anything else to help yourself?
Trying to be more positive now for awhile. For me this is very helpful, although it is not a tactic that will get me rewards very quickly. How about you
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post #26 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:34 PM
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well I guess we are facing the same problems m8. How would you say your view on the world is, generally speaking? To elaborate I'm a bit of a pessimist, which I think is at the root of some of my problems.
I wouldn't classify myself as a pessimist. I try to not worry about anything. If something really bad happens to me, I'll just think to myself, I'll be okay tomorrow and that's what matters. However I wouldn't say I am cheery and happy. I have negative thoughts, but like with most things, I keep them to myself.

What I would say is that I am one of the least proactive people anyone could ever meet. I try and let things sort themselves out, but as with most important things in life, they require time, effort and dedication. Deep down I think I know that, but I still lie to myself, convince myself that it can be different. The day I stop doing that will be the day life opens up.
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post #27 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:36 PM
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Trying to be more positive now for awhile. For me this is very helpful, although it is not a tactic that will get me rewards very quickly. How about you
To be honest, I haven't really done anything. Just kept on going, hoping things would change with age and maturity.
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post #28 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:42 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

dont u think that its easiest to believe when someone else believe in u? i think it gives u alot of power.

Hug it out as long as it takes, people
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things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

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post #29 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:50 PM
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I wouldn't classify myself as a pessimist. I try to not worry about anything. If something really bad happens to me, I'll just think to myself, I'll be okay tomorrow and that's what matters. However I wouldn't say I am cheery and happy. I have negative thoughts, but like with most things, I keep them to myself.

What I would say is that I am one of the least proactive people anyone could ever meet. I try and let things sort themselves out, but as with most important things in life, they require time, effort and dedication. Deep down I think I know that, but I still lie to myself, convince myself that it can be different. The day I stop doing that will be the day life opens up.
We all have a certain basic behaviour that makes us feel safe. Whether or not this behaviour is hurtful in the long run unfortunately makes little difference to the way you respond to situations. If your automated response is to sit back and watch, you actually have to do the complete opposite. But because this will feel unnatural it is very hard to do so. Maybe you can ask the counsellor to help set some minor goals that require some, but not an insane amount of effort. This way you would be slowly building up.

With regards to us facing similar problems, I was aiming for the vicious cirle that we both seem to be in.
what I mean with being pessimistic is that my automatic thoughts are usually negative. say I'm looking at a street full of people, I will tend to notice annoying things about them. This only happens when I am not aware of it. When I notice that I'm being negative, I will correct for it.
Fortunately for me I have a good sarcastic sense of humour, which works well with being pessimistic :P
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post #30 of 74 (permalink) Old 11-24-2012, 04:53 PM
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Re: Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

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dont u think that its easiest to believe when someone else believe in u? i think it gives u alot of power.
definately helps! But the most important thing is that you believe in yourself
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