I held a racquet perhaps like 7-8 times in my life, total playing experience of like 10 hours.
I can hit a forehand.
Nadal-style, lasso over my head.
Backhand (two-handed somehow felt 'natural' to me).... hmm, I succeed in getting it over the net, maybe once in ten attempts.
I can hit a slice backhand IF I'm really really lucky. Otherwise I just swing the racquet below the approaching ball.
I actually manage to serve, double-faulting only like 30% of the time.
I guess I can 'move' around the field, but I think Karlovic definitely moves way better.
Seeing the ball can be a challenge, sometimes, so if a ball travels right at my feet, chances for me to actually get a racquet on it are extremely low. It has to hit the ground at least 5 metres in front of me, then I can swing at it with some success.