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post #61 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-11-2012, 03:28 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Originally Posted by Certinfy View Post
This got really weird today.

So I was kind of looking for this girl today but couldn't find her so didn't bother. Then went to my other friend to ask her about how she did in her exam and my other friend (don't know her very well though) was there. We just got talking and it led to us talking about education, her past, religion, tennis (hey, she said as a kid she wanted to be a ballgirl at Wimbledon ), work, and whatever else. I was just being myself like everyone here told me to be and I guess by being myself I didn't really think of what I was doing next rather than just asking her questions and being friendly and somewhat confident.

Now the thing here is, I won't see either her or the other girl for about 50 days, but I don't know who I should try to go for. One of them I hardly know while the other I do now but I didn't think it at the time but after our conversation I just feel she's too good for me.

No idea how this even happened, but I guess it might just be better off forgetting about both since I have to concentrate on my exams and won't see either in at least 50 days.
I'm a bit confused about how this is a bad thing. You approached an attractive girl and had some good conversation with her.

The fact that it wasn't the same girl you originally wrote about doesn't really matter. It's always good to keep your options open and make many friendships.

As others have said, the mentality of "she's too good for me" has to go. There is no point in you thinking that way. Even if she happens to think that she's too good for you, who the fuck cares, just move on to the next girl. That's the nice thing about building a large network of friends and keeping your options open. You know the old saying, "if you throw enough mud at the wall, some of it will stick." You're bound to find someone if you just keep trying and get rid of that attitude.

Also, what is this thing about not being able to see them for 50 days? Are they putting you in solitary confinement?

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post #62 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-11-2012, 07:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Jesus Christ

This is the worst possible mindset you can possibly have, man. You will have ZERO chance to be with her if you have this mentality.

You have to believe that YOU are the prize, that YOU are the catch, that she is lucky to have a great guy like YOU, that YOU are seeing if she is worth being with YOU, not the other way around.

Besides, if she is pretty, chances are she scares off a lot of guys, chances are, many men think like you. As a result, she is lonely and single, just waiting for some guy with the balls to step up and talk to her.
Well my whole life I've just been the most negative person about anything regarding myself.

Wow that's some mindset, not sure I can achieve going into that but will try my best, guess it's finally time for me to be confident.

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Groove is the ladies man. Listen up Jason you mug and harden the fuck up.
He is, and I'll try, but being 'hard' in these regards isn't exactly me.

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I will then
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Not sure whether to laugh or cry at this, so I'll settle for

Come on, how would you know whether she has a boyfriend if you don't even take the step of getting to know her and finding out? Don't be so scared. At the end of the day she's just a girl.
You're right, so yeah I will get to know her more and see what happens.

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If I am that girl, I will smack you for this (the bold part). She has a brain so let her do the thinking/feeling for herself.
But I bet she doesn't even do any thinking of me whatsoever, it's probably like as soon as the convo ended she forgot who I was again...

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i can help you Certinfy... i can get to know her for you... i will even throw in a free test drive for free... i'll test drive both of them, it's no problem... no charge... this thread has been pulling on the heart strings a bit lately... that way, when i'm done i can let you know which one goes all right if you know what i mean... you dont have to do a thing, and your shy nature can remain as it is... johnny groove is starting to tell stories again, so i just wanna get this message out there before the trouble starts... i have a feeling he is gonna test a few scripts in here...


Well you know what, you do that mate and report back to me the pros and cons of the both of them.
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I'm a bit confused about how this is a bad thing. You approached an attractive girl and had some good conversation with her.

The fact that it wasn't the same girl you originally wrote about doesn't really matter. It's always good to keep your options open and make many friendships.

As others have said, the mentality of "she's too good for me" has to go. There is no point in you thinking that way. Even if she happens to think that she's too good for you, who the fuck cares, just move on to the next girl. That's the nice thing about building a large network of friends and keeping your options open. You know the old saying, "if you throw enough mud at the wall, some of it will stick." You're bound to find someone if you just keep trying and get rid of that attitude.

Also, what is this thing about not being able to see them for 50 days? Are they putting you in solitary confinement?
Well maybe not a bad thing but a weird thing for me at least. Never really had a good confident conversation with a girl when I've wanted to be in a relationship with her whereas with hooking up I am a lot more confident as it's also not in school which helps (that life definitely over though).

Nice saying. Just it's not really wanting to be with someone, but more like wanting to be with one of them, I don't specifically want a girlfriend or anything, just want one of them, not even I can explain the logic behind that.

No Just everyone has exams coming up these next 3 weeks and mine are at completely different times so I won't see her (wish I had at least one with her as then I could ask her if she wanted to go do something after). After that I'll probably spend the next week at RG and the 2 weeks after just at the tennis at Queens, Eastbourne and Wimbledon Qualies. Then may even call it a day and just go miss class for the remaining few weeks too and go to Wimbledon near every day. So yeah, I might not ever see her again if I choose that route.
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post #63 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 05:23 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

The thing is, Jesse, that you cannot fake confidence. It's something you'll only achieve in time. It's a part of becoming more mature, more experienced and more confortable around women. Don't rush it. And it doesn't matter anyway, because 99% chances are that even if you pull that girl she's not going to be the woman of your life. There will be many many more. Finding a soulmate is more important than finding a girlfriend.



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post #64 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 05:29 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

She sounds like quite the catch. Is she a redhead?
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post #65 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 05:45 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Add her in Facebook first. Then you could invite her easily to watch Gasquet in Eastbourne.
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post #66 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 06:42 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Add her in Facebook first. Then you could invite her easily to watch Gasquet in Eastbourne.
That's a very good advice, as good as someone like Gagsquet can give you.
I think girls are more trustful and comfortable with a guy if they can check him out on facebook first. Even some online talking to break the ice before properly meet up is a good option. Add her on facebook and then send her a private message or in case you don't feel confident enough, you can comment on some of her posts before making your introduction. Make sure you have photos added in your profile. If you don't they'll think you're some kind of troll.
Second part of Gagsquet post, not so sure.



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post #67 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 01:15 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

yep... nothin like a good old Facestalk to get you in the mood they reckon

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post #68 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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The thing is, Jesse, that you cannot fake confidence. It's something you'll only achieve in time. It's a part of becoming more mature, more experienced and more confortable around women. Don't rush it. And it doesn't matter anyway, because 99% chances are that even if you pull that girl she's not going to be the woman of your life. There will be many many more. Finding a soulmate is more important than finding a girlfriend.
Jason You're so right though, but the problem is how do I even know who is my 'soulmate' if I just give up on every one before really trying to get to know them?

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She sounds like quite the catch. Is she a redhead?
No, she's Asian. One of a different religion though which makes it harder I suppose.
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Add her in Facebook first. Then you could invite her easily to watch Gasquet in Eastbourne.
I don't have Facebook, I know she does though as once my friend forgot to log out on my phone and had her as a friend so I just 'looked'. Have her on Twitter though, but she tweets like once every few days...

Perfect idea with the tennis though! Even seeing Gasquet is a good idea, the last time I took a girl on a date (was our 2nd date I think) I took her to Murray vs Federer WTF 2010 and kept saying stuff like "this fucking pusher" "this fucking joke of a #4" "this mug has the worst forehand in the top 1000" and needless to say things didn't end up well as I was so pissed at Andy.
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That's a very good advice, as good as someone like Gagsquet can give you.
I think girls are more trustful and comfortable with a guy if they can check him out on facebook first. Even some online talking to break the ice before properly meet up is a good option. Add her on facebook and then send her a private message or in case you don't feel confident enough, you can comment on some of her posts before making your introduction. Make sure you have photos added in your profile. If you don't they'll think you're some kind of troll.
Second part of Gagsquet post, not so sure.
I guess I could somehow equivalent that to doing that on Twitter instead. Also when I saw her FB account her email and phone number were there I think, but that's just being stupid to send something to either.

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yep... nothin like a good old Facestalk to get you in the mood they reckon
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post #69 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 05:28 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Your self-defeating mentality is your #1 issue here, mate.

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post #70 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 06:22 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Jason You're so right though, but the problem is how do I even know who is my 'soulmate' if I just give up on every one before really trying to get to know them?


Hey jason, you're shy but it's understandable, once that connection happens it happens for some reason and it's not something you plan. You'll end up falling in love with people you were never attracted to in the first place. Happens all the time. Get to know the person first, even as a friend. Not every girl you befriend has to be your next soulmate or girlfriend, sometimes if we forget about prejudices you get to know people who you thought you could never fall in love with and then you get surprised.

As for twitter I don't think it works like facebook. FB is more personal, you can see pics, friends, etc. I recommend you to open an account and send her a friend request. She will get the hint.



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post #71 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 08:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Your self-defeating mentality is your #1 issue here, mate.
It is.
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Hey jason, you're shy but it's understandable, once that connection happens it happens for some reason and it's not something you plan. You'll end up falling in love with people you were never attracted to in the first place. Happens all the time. Get to know the person first, even as a friend. Not every girl you befriend has to be your next soulmate or girlfriend, sometimes if we forget about prejudices you get to know people who you thought you could never fall in love with and then you get surprised.

As for twitter I don't think it works like facebook. FB is more personal, you can see pics, friends, etc. I recommend you to open an account and send her a friend request. She will get the hint.
I'll keep that in mind, never really been in love or anything like that (I think), just been with some girls and thinking back now I don't even know why I've been in a relationship with them.

I'll consider that, but really that might just be too weird, especially if she tells her friends and they start taking the piss, hence the last girl I liked there told her friends and people I don't even know take the piss of her rejecting me.

Might just totally leave it and move on, learnt a lot of new things from this thread anyway and hopefully it'll come to good use next time.

Thanks all.
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post #72 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-19-2012, 06:57 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Perfect idea with the tennis though! Even seeing Gasquet is a good idea, the last time I took a girl on a date (was our 2nd date I think) I took her to Murray vs Federer WTF 2010 and kept saying stuff like "this fucking pusher" "this fucking joke of a #4" "this mug has the worst forehand in the top 1000" and needless to say things didn't end up well as I was so pissed at Andy.
Too bad she wasn't an MTF member.

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post #73 of 73 (permalink) Old 05-19-2012, 10:41 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Didn't read the thread except for OP, but has anyone stated the obvious? If they haven't, weren't you gay?

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