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post #16 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:21 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Originally Posted by Certinfy View Post
Seeking help from the love gurus Bilbo, Johnny Groove, 2003 and everyone else.

My love life is a mess and I totally suck with asking girls out, especially in places like uni, just seems a lot more awkward with other people you know around you and what not. It's harder considering the place I see her the most is full of like 50 girls and only me and around 5 other guys.

Anyway back in like November time I noticed this girl and couldn't take my eyes off her, was just so beautiful, beautiful voice, everything about her was beautiful but I just left it like that as she was with her friends and I didn't want to embarrass myself or anything by going and saying hi.

So I'm in a room with her and 2 girls I know and I ask them what her names is and they tell me and tell me she's from the same ethnicity as me and that they think she's single and that's she's really nice and everything else, and they also tell me they'll speak to her about 'this'. I didn't disagree but I guess that was the wrong decision? I mean I doubt she even knows who I am.

So all this happened before Christmas and from then onwards I just thought of her a little but didn't even do anything as I was just too afraid as she's always with her friends. Then last week this other girl I know mentions her and if I've done anything and I was like no, then while walking out she was walking out of the library and my friends told me to pretend to bump into her. Seeing she was in a rush I didn't bother and just saw her walk by me and I guess I wasted a massive chance considering she was alone. Then yesterday she was telling me just to go be friends with her, but I'm way to shy and scared of doing that.

The thing here is I don't even know why exactly I like her but I just do and I'm really not interested in anyone else the way I am about her. Really I would like to get knowing her a shot but I can't get her alone when she's free or I would even like to forget about her, just causing me too much stress. Never really felt like this about someone I don't know and it's just fucking pathetic. Also we've both got exams in May, so I assume if I were to do anything it should be after them?

I know I'm fucking pathetic.
Please, you're not pathetic! May seem like you're the only shy guy out there, but you're not.

The bad-ass act mostly works if you want to hook up with a girl. You seem serious about her, so just be yourself! If you're going to eventually have something serious, it would be pretty hard to keep pretending to be someone that you really aren't.

So I suggest you either have her friends introduce you, or get the next chance you got to reach her. And be yourself! You have nothing to lose, so there isn't really any reason why you shouldn't just go for it! Good luck

Oh and do it before the exams! Because then you're all studying, focused, busy, and then summer comes and the momentum is gone.
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post #17 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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No, I'm not saying be the asshole. Never. There's a huge difference here.
Oh okay, wouldn't be being me if I did become one, so I guess that's good.

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Never go there, even though it may seem like there are some guys that are assholes and still pull girls like crazy it's mostly just because of their great looks (remember that girls are after aesthetics just as much as guys are). If it seems like those guys are the only ones that are successful, you're just experiencing tunnel vision. Snap out of it. Quick.
I do need to snap out of it as that's exactly how I think. Weird thing is me and my mate are there and literally all the girls love him, but yet my guy friends tell me I'm better looking than him which just makes it weird. But then he is really confident and inbetween nice and asshole I guess.

[quote]Find the right balance and in your way into doing this don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just relax and when the nice girls come around you'll even have some funny stuff to talk about regarding asking girls out.
[quote] Okay I'll do that, don't even know why I'm getting so stressed about one girl anyway.

Quote:
Be smart about it, and also be friendly enough. Other than looks, girls love confidence and a friendly boy with connections and aspirations. (more on that latter part when you grow older)
Well I can connect with her as she's the same age and from the same ethnicity and apparently we're studying a few things that are similar, so that's a good start.
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She may actually feel more comfortable with her friends as a buffer.
Ah, I guess both ways are good then, guess I need to see if my friends are bothered to help me on this though.
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post #18 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Please, you're not pathetic! May seem like you're the only shy guy out there, but you're not.
Thanks, makes me feel a lot better.

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The bad-ass act mostly works if you want to hook up with a girl. You seem serious about her, so just be yourself! If you're going to eventually have something serious, it would be pretty hard to keep pretending to be someone that you really aren't.
Yeah I don't want to hook up with her, want to be with her, love her and for her to love me back, just seems no girl can accept me as I'm clearly too nice, not confident at all or something.

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So I suggest you either have her friends introduce you, or get the next chance you got to reach her. And be yourself! You have nothing to lose, so there isn't really any reason why you shouldn't just go for it! Good luck
Thanks Just don't want to get rejected, but yeah I'm not losing anything so vamos!

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Oh and do it before the exams! Because then you're all studying, focused, busy, and then summer comes and the momentum is gone.
That gives me 3 days of seeing her (2 days of 20 mins, 1 day of 2hrs) to do something, at least if I get somewhere within this time with her it'll be good though for after summer just to keep some momentum I suppose.

Thanks so much everybody.
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post #19 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:31 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

You're going to have to force a situation where you two are together alone. I don't know, stalking her until you get the perfect situation may be a good option.

When this moment arrives, you just gotta take the initiative and start a conversation, no matter how painful and embarassing it may seem. It's going to be a lot more painful in the long run if you let it pass by.

After this first step it will be easier to build a "friendship" and then eventually ask her out. Be careful not to be too nice so she ends up seeing you as a friend only.

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post #20 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:35 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

if you ask me then honestly going around with her girls setting you up aint the way. from what i read about your personalitty id say you already blew it there

relax dude, their just...girls.maybe drink a couple of shots before approaching, will ease down all the braining

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

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post #21 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:37 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Thanks, makes me feel a lot better.

Yeah I don't want to hook up with her, want to be with her, love her and for her to love me back, just seems no girl can accept me as I'm clearly too nice, not confident at all or something.

Thanks Just don't want to get rejected, but yeah I'm not losing anything so vamos!


That gives me 3 days of seeing her (2 days of 20 mins, 1 day of 2hrs) to do something, at least if I get somewhere within this time with her it'll be good though for after summer just to keep some momentum I suppose.

Thanks so much everybody.
It doesn't have to be before the exams, just don't wait until it's over. Might be too long! If you two study in the same library that will create dozens of chances for you to approach her!
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post #22 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:55 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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She may actually feel more comfortable with her friends as a buffer.
Exactly what I was going to say She may be shy as well Jase! And it would ultimately be less awkward.

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post #23 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-29-2012, 11:56 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

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Originally Posted by shotgun View Post
You're going to have to force a situation where you two are together alone. I don't know, stalking her until you get the perfect situation may be a good option.

When this moment arrives, you just gotta take the initiative and start a conversation, no matter how painful and embarassing it may seem. It's going to be a lot more painful in the long run if you let it pass by.

After this first step it will be easier to build a "friendship" and then eventually ask her out. Be careful not to be too nice so she ends up seeing you as a friend only.
Oh you can never be too nice; just don't be too boring Which you Renato would never be

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post #24 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 04:18 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Good luck man

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post #25 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 04:33 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

just walk up and talk to her, she's a human not a monster, ffs. Women love confidence, so just step over your imaginery boundaries and go for it. If you get rejected, who cares? There are about 3 more billion women in the world to choose from. I guarantee that eventually a girl you like will also like you. But nothing will happen if you put zero effort into it and can't even talk to her. It's like wishing to win a lottery without ever buying a ticket.
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post #26 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 06:24 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Stop hating Federer and things will go well automatically.
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post #27 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 10:15 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Just don't be a white knight beta brah and all will be fine.
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post #28 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 11:24 AM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Difficult situation. I'm shy too and unable to ask out girls in uni. I did it once, it was fucking awkward but it worked. (But I made so much eye contact before, a normal girl would have called the police).

Second option, meet her in party --> way more easy.
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post #29 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 01:36 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Certinfy View Post
Seeking help from the love gurus Bilbo, Johnny Groove, 2003 and everyone else.

My love life is a mess and I totally suck with asking girls out, especially in places like uni, just seems a lot more awkward with other people you know around you and what not. It's harder considering the place I see her the most is full of like 50 girls and only me and around 5 other guys.

Anyway back in like November time I noticed this girl and couldn't take my eyes off her, was just so beautiful, beautiful voice, everything about her was beautiful but I just left it like that as she was with her friends and I didn't want to embarrass myself or anything by going and saying hi.

So I'm in a room with her and 2 girls I know and I ask them what her names is and they tell me and tell me she's from the same ethnicity as me and that they think she's single and that's she's really nice and everything else, and they also tell me they'll speak to her about 'this'. I didn't disagree but I guess that was the wrong decision? I mean I doubt she even knows who I am.

So all this happened before Christmas and from then onwards I just thought of her a little but didn't even do anything as I was just too afraid as she's always with her friends. Then last week this other girl I know mentions her and if I've done anything and I was like no, then while walking out she was walking out of the library and my friends told me to pretend to bump into her. Seeing she was in a rush I didn't bother and just saw her walk by me and I guess I wasted a massive chance considering she was alone. Then yesterday she was telling me just to go be friends with her, but I'm way to shy and scared of doing that.

The thing here is I don't even know why exactly I like her but I just do and I'm really not interested in anyone else the way I am about her. Really I would like to get knowing her a shot but I can't get her alone when she's free or I would even like to forget about her, just causing me too much stress. Never really felt like this about someone I don't know and it's just fucking pathetic. Also we've both got exams in May, so I assume if I were to do anything it should be after them?

I know I'm fucking pathetic.
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post #30 of 73 (permalink) Old 04-30-2012, 03:00 PM
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Re: Need Help With This Girl...

I think there's something you might want to think about before you make this such a big deal in your own head - what do you really want out of this? And why do you think it's so difficult?
You might never know her thoughts, but you can work on understanding yours.
Question your own feelings/thoughts first. When you're clear about what you want with yourself, things have a tendency of falling into place and being much easier.

Also, since you have exams coming up, why don't you ask her to study together? There are few things that bring people closer together than a shared stressful experience, and exams definitely fit into that category.
Maybe ask her opinion about a problem that you genuinely don't understand from your studying material. If she gets it, ask her to explain it to you, if she doesn't, laugh about it together. Either way, you can ask her if she wants to study together some time.
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