That was tough to digest (in more ways than one)
. I really don't know what to say except....sorry
. I like, literally, have no words. I can relate to this.
I have a dilemma too with my parents as well in regards to "loving" their own sons and daughters
. All I can say is, I have this massive rift between me and my parents. It's a shame they don't understand the real nature of parenting. They are (my dad especially) obnoxious, uncivilized, dirty and shows no respect or curtesy whatsoever. All my mum does is yell at me and keep reminding me of irrelevant shit, thinking that I'm still like 3 years old. There's never a time my parents believed in me, just berated me for everything I did....I even got abused when I was 5-6. It's incredible tough to say but I really do hate my dad with a passion. My mum, not so much, but my fury with her exists. I've tried suggesting counselling with them but they just I'm a stupid, crazy fool who thinks that's more evidence of my "stupidity" and my "uselessness". I wish they'd love me, but they can't accept it. And neither can I. That's why I am who I am today.
But I try and shrug it off, keep fighting through everyday no matter how hard it is to deal with these sick people. Sometimes I feel like they aren't even my parents...I'm probably a foster child...but I guess that's how things are. To be honest, I'm learning a good lesson in this and I'm taking positives out of it. Helps me with my patience, helps me to become kinder, more of a listener. They are models of who no one else SHOULD be
. Anyways...like Rafa says "It's the moment to keep fighting".
I cherish the day when I finally find independence and start a whole new life on my own. Because sadly, I've given up on them.