Fair points I must say even and I do agree with most in principle.
Just to throw out a story from my experience: At my university that had like 20000-25000 students and around 5000 employees. It's safe to say there must have been 1000-2000 homosexuals at least, probably even more (saw some statistics that said 5-10%). I probably only encountered a few hundred students and in my years on a more personal basis and I can only recall one gay guy being severly trashtalked. I read 2 courses over the years with that guy in the same class (since I was in an entirely different program) but all I can say is that guy was so incredibly annoying that almost everyone disliked him.
He was a so called fem gay and I don't think people had much problem with that but he was a very special case. Often disrupted class with very odd questions, also showed up late almost every time. Appreantly didn't give a crap about group work or his grades either. Dressed very odd, equvialent with a female student coming in some stuff she would use at a bad fashion show. (Yes it's his business but he clearly did it to get reactions and he seemed to thrive on those reactions, even negative ones)
I can imagine that if you never had any other encounters with gay people and then ran into that guy you would get a very strong prejudice against homosexuals.
I get what you're saying here. Of course, us gays have some obnoxious, annoying queens within our ranks that are simply unlikable characters, based on their personality. But that's what needs to be understood. This individual has a character flaw. Sexual orientation being gay or straight, some people are simply annoying, abrasive individuals. That has to be separated from judging that individual on their sexuality, which often, is not done.
I don't really buy the lack of awareness excuse. All studies have shown awareness to gay people leads to an increase in comfort and acceptance regarding the issue, which is understandable, you get to know someone/something better, you let your guard down and insecurities wane. But common sense should dictate that one realizes it's wrong to be discriminatory towards an entire group of people for who they are. I didn't need to be told this nor did I need exposure towards every single group in the world to know it's wrong to discriminate. If you're raised a certain way, I can understand that, being brainwashed. But in that case, it's up to individuals to be strong, think on their own, and start opening up and coming to grips with the world around them. I just have a very low tolerance for ignorance. It's not justifiable in any sense.
Just like you say most gays aren't even noticed. I mean just from statistics there must have been a huge amount among all the students you met in classes or at parties but I only knew about a handfull confirmed ones. Even if I encounter someone speaking with a bit of a femine voice or walks odd I can't know for sure that is a fem gay. The non-fem ones are almost impossible. Maybe you could make an assumptions but unless they outright tell you or you spot them with making out with a same-sex partner then you don't know for sure.
That's a great point. That ultimately, outside of a small percentage on both sides of the fence, gay and straight men (and straight and lesbian women) do the same things, behave in the same ways, and really, there aren't any differences in lifestyle outside of sexual orientation. But if you know the signs, there are subtle differences. Subtle traits that make a guy ping. Like, what some people consider the most masculine gay man who has ever come out, Gareth Thomas, a former rugby player, I knew he was gay as soon as I saw him. If you hang around gay and straight men separately enough times, you can "feel" whether someone is gay or straight.
With all that said, those differences are slight. It's not as if gay people are aliens. And we're all different to some degree. Difference is what makes the world interesting. We should embrace each others' differences and encourage people to be individualistic.
I don't think there is a simple solution to that. The best is probably that all "normal gays" would also be completely open with being gay. I mean if everyone at the university knew about more gay people including having gay friends then they'd know they were just normal people and encounters with that very strange oddball wouldn't lead to much prejudice and outright homophobia.
Well, that person you call a strange oddball, for others, may just be an eccentric person. Eccentric behavior isn't always bad. Being normal isn't all it's cracked up to be. And again, this is all about personality. What needs to be done is to separate sexuality from personality when it comes to judging a persons' character.
It was fem gays and drag queens that pretty much were on the forefront of the gay rights movement. And still are, because they are the ones who take most of the lumps, including from other gays, because they don't conform. THAT is the problem. Conformity is weakness. Individuality is what needs to be promoted.
I personally think bad experiences with "extreme cases" is a more common reason for homophobia among straight people than secret gay desires. Ofc there is likely 100 reasons but I think bad personal experiences, especially early in life (like in school) is a huge reason.
Maybe for some, but overall, no. Because, we can ask ourselves questions such as, do men hate women because of personal experiences? Some do, sure. Many men make jokes about women. But most men aren't going out of their way to avoid and denigrate, attack all women, and their livelihoods. There is a MAJOR difference between dislike and hate. You can dislike someone/something based on bad experience. Pathological hatred, which is what homophobia is, signals deeper mental and emotional reasons than just bad experiences. Especially since, really, by the time you turn about 16, you should be exposed to most things and if you still hold these biased positions, then you're doing that by choice. That's stubbornness.