That was not the point. For example, if a vegan approaches me when I'm eating a burger and starts doing a long rant about how meat is murder and that I'm a bad person I might politely ask him to mind his own business. Does that mean i don't tolerate or accept vegans? Nope. I have no problem at all with their lifestyle, them as a group and I would fully support their rights. But he/she has no right to push his/her lifestyle upon me if I don't want to. If a black person acts like a total d-bag on the bus annoying passengers and I walk up to him and ask him to calm down and take a seat does that mean I'm a racist? hell no. I'd do the same to anyone acting that way regardless of skin color.
Yeah, I understand your vegan analogy, but what you said is still a stereotype. It's a stereotype that gay people, and really, feminine gay men, INTENTIONALLY flaunt their sexuality, which is false. Veganism is a moral choice and gay is a sexual orientation, so the two aren't comparable and gay isn't a lifestyle. You can't force a sexual orientation on someone. Unless someone is forcing you to watch and/or participate in gay sex, or someone is literally going up to random individuals and saying "hey, I'm gay" just to say they're gay, than no, no-one is forcing sexuality.
Criticizing someone on the basis of their behavior is one thing. But criticizing someone on the basis of their behavior and connecting that to who they are as an individual, is a different thing entirely.
Point is that just because you are homosexual you don't get a free card to act however you like and then call homophobia on any reaction. Normal social rules still apply.
Social rules and expectations are different for minorities of any group. So that doesn't really apply here, because you're telling gay people to act like heterosexuals. That's what "normal social rules" mean. But we're not heterosexuals. So telling us to "act" a certain way to fit into a society that, in many ways, shows they don't want us around, isn't going to happen. The gay community, we're not idiots, we know how to handle ourselves like reasonable human beings, and that's all it should come down to.
Heterosexuals have a big amount of douchebags, I'm 100% sure homosexuals have a slight percentage of douchebags too. Those douchebags are a reason behind much of the hate.
True, but the problem again is that gay people are judged based on the actions of few AND these actions are always attributed to sexuality rather than character. The reason behind hate is ignorance and/or fear. Because there are many heterosexual douchebags, true, and we don't see gay people hating all straights, or telling straight people how to act. None of that is going on.
It still doesn't mean that all gays are innocent victims. Tolerance and acceptance goes both ways.
Tolerance and acceptance doesn't go both ways in every circumstances. Wrong is wrong. Right is right. Homophobia is wrong. Homophobia isn't to be tolerated and accepted. "Social norms" that are inherently discriminatory aren't to be tolerated and accepted. Not all gays are innocent victims but every single gay person alive IS a victim of homophobia to some extent, as are ALL straight people. Homophobia affects us all to some degree. This is the reality. What needs to be done is judge people on the basis of character and not sexuality. Do that, and most of these schisms between the gay and straight community, between straight gay rights supporters and anti-gay straights, between anti-gays and gays, etc. will all have solutions. In fact, they wouldn't be issues in the first place.