Originally Posted by Mountaindewslave
i 100% agree with this post, put very very well. I think Filo V you obviously have some insecurity problems more than diet problems. what are you are eating is not really correct either as far as a healthy diet is concerned, but the reason you are eating this was is BECAUSE of your flawed way of thinking.
how you look matters, but life is not about only focusing on that? it is likely that your personality and like-ability in real life has went down with your obsessive eating patterns and (most likely) frequent discussion of worries and uncertainty's regarding what you eat and how good you look.
I actually like obsessing with my looks
That's the thing............that's the entire basis of why I eat the way I do, as you said, as I've said. My looks are my ace in the hole. While others have smarts, or athletic ability, that one thing that makes them unique, what I have is my appearance and attractiveness. The problem is, though, I wouldn't necessarily say my likability has decreased but people are scared for me. They're more worried about my looks than even I am, but in the opposite way----they think I need to gain weight. They think I am headed towards death. Particularly my grandmother.
I do frequently discuss my looks, though, I admit I'm paranoid about it, and my grandmom gets annoyed and tired of hearing about it, plus she gets sad about it. I'm not sure how others react to it, since I've always done it. My friends are looks-conscious too, at least most of my closest of close friends. The big concern for me is, yes, I love my looks, yes, I am focused on my appearance, but how much am I damaging my health and how can I maintain my attractiveness and improve it, yet actually be healthy. Because looks won't mean much if I'm dead in 6 months. That's my main concern.
I honestly don't consider my looks-consciousness a flaw, because looking good makes me happy. And looking good makes me feel good about myself. That, along with the positive attention it brings me, is why it's such a centralized focus of my life.
a healthy diet is not just salad and water. there are many vitamins the body needs. of course the body also needs a lot of protein and without that you will struggle to maintain a good figure. But like you have mentioned, your metabolism may or may not be slow and adding a lot of calories would likely result in a significant gain of weight?! Solution! exercise!
exercise is key. eating healthy alone does very little. even if you have the perfect diet recommended from a physician you would not be doing that well, and any doctor or trainer is going to repeat over and over - EXERCISE!.
your diet currently isn't that healthy and to make it more appropriate you need to definitely make sure you get plenty of carbohydrates (abandoning these entirely will make you feel weak in general) and protein and of course vitamins! popping vitamin pills daily does not work as well as some have made common myth, you need vitamins from varied types of food.
Exercise..........I hate the thought of it, but I know I have to do it to be in shape and have the figure I ultimately hope for, and have the best muscle tone. But I don't necessarily agree that eating healthy alone does little solely because if you eat unhealthy, exercise is only going to get you back to square one. It takes a combination of exercise and eating healthy to be at your best, health wise.
I actually care more about my looks than my health, which is sort of fucked up and I know, ultimately, that isn't good, but it is what it is, that's where my mind is at. I honestly have thought "how the hell could I live being ugly." And combine that with my laziness, that is why I eat the way I do. I can probably restart exercising incrementally as I used to. I just have to get myself up for it and find the motivation and spark to drive me to exercise.
The boosting calories=gain weight thing is the biggest aversion to me boosting up my calorie intake. Because you body holds onto the calories as fat. Then you have to do extra exercise to burn that off. Once you get into the cycle it's hard to break.
I eat fruits and vegetables virtually every day, and those foods are generally vitamin-rich. What other foods do I eat to gain vitamins? I eat carbs virtually every day, too, with oatmeal. I know carbs are energy but they are also sugar. That's why I cut eating bread to 1-2 times a week only. But these are all things I can reconfigure and that's why I am asking everyone here, to gain knowledge on how I can maintain looking thin and sleek yet eat a healthier meal plan at the same time.
so exercise and eat other things than that very depressing and specific set of choices you have now. remember concentrating on how 'important' looks are is unwise as there are other things that are very important too (personality, hobbies, heck someone's eyes). focusing on image will make you sad because it is a flawed view of what is valuable to have in life! exercising also releases endorphins which helps make people feel happy.
maybe try running around the neighborhood daily for a few miles at good pace and/or take up something like yogo or..... tennis!?
Running around the neighborhood sounds good! I used to do that every day. Actually I was jog to and from the gym virtually every morning, and the gym I go to is around 30 minutes-ish away, so it was a good run. I'm too clumsy to play tennis or any other sport at all well
Exercising, well at least after you exercise I can understand feeling happy, because you've accomplished something productive. I didn't know what endorphins were until you brought it up, though. Based on what I've read it's a chemical that allows people to go beyond their natural physical limit when they are engaging in strenuous exercise. I can relate to that, because I know that when I worked out, I would hit a wall yet be able to force myself to continue mentally and then my body would catch up. I'm not sure if that's exactly what endorphins do but that's what I've experienced.
I think looks are very valuable because they give you things you wouldn't otherwise have without them, but I do understand that, yes, there are other things in life to focus on outside of looks. However, my appearance is my #1 thing. It doesn't make me sad to focus on appearance because my looks make me happy and bring me happiness and things I desire. We should all focus on our appearance and look good, for ourselves and to be presentable to others. Because ultimately, people judge you within a minute in this world, and you have to give off a good first impression. Looking good is extremely important to get where you want to go in the world.
You called my mentality horribly shallow, but I just consider it a different mentality than others have. I actually have no problem with the appearance obsession. That isn't my concern..............I don't see any need to improve that nor be criticized for it. I just want to ensure my physical safety, now and in the future. But thank you, you have given me a lot to think about and knowledge on some things I wasn't enlightened on