Taking this thread more seriously now:
- noob serve. No difference between 1st and 2nd.
- I get them in most of the time.
- more consistent wing in terms of getting the ball over and in, but unable to generate much power and am often late for the shot. Also, I don't believe I've ever hit an inside-out forehand in my life that wasn't a fluke.
- less consistent than forehand because I hit it very flat (I can't hit a topspin backhand without making extra effort to do so) but it's my go-to side when I want to win a point. Backhand cross-court is my favourite shot. Sometimes I run around my forehand and I've recently added the inside-in backhand (at least that's what I think it's called) to my ~arsenal of shots~.
- forehand volley is serviceable; backhand volley needs work. Can't decide whether to use 1 or 2 hands. 2-handed feels weird and counter-intuitive. 1-handed is extremely weak - can't hold the racquet firmly and often frame the volley.
- absolutely non-existent
I may attempt a pass if you approach to my backhand. If you approach to my forehand I end up doing something that I hope is a successful lob because my forehand is just a joke like that.
- crap. I don't do drills 'cause I'm lazy.
- atrocious. My serve disappears when I play matches. Then again, my groundstrokes run away in fear during matchplay. My best showing so far was a 6-1 set against a generous friend who played down to my level even though he's wayyyy better than me. (Though I did win 6-4 playing doubles with 3 other guys.)
- shit, but better than, say, 3 years ago when I first started playing.
I like to play aggressively. I get tired/bored when a rally goes beyond 8 to 10 shots. I'd probably compare myself to Wozniacki in terms of how her forehand sucks and her backhand is her better shot, but obviously my "game" doesn't resemble any respectable pro's.