Moderator: We will now take questions in English
Q: Mr. Groove, what effect do you think your recent thread will have on your ACC chances?
Johnny Groove: Well, it is a bit tough to tell, really. Momentum is the biggest thing, and I am unfortunately not playing the opening 12 hour window. That, and the fact that I have a really tough draw. Deivid23 in the first round and then if I get by, I have topspindoctor in the next round. It ain't easy.
Q: Mr. Groove, what are your thoughts of the seedings? Some have expressed disgust.
Johnny Groove: I think the seedings are overall pretty accurate. Maybe Saberq is a bit high at 3, maybe Nadalmyhero too high at 9, but the draw will take care of itself when it's all said and done.
Q: What of the prospective #1 seed who isn't playing? Start da G...
Johnny Groove: You are trying to get me in trouble, eh?
I am not at liberty to discuss any withdrawn poster.
Q: Do you agree with the allegedly corrupt Action Jackson running the show? What about the head moderator, Don Snowwy Soprano?
Johnny Groove: Action Jackson has my full support. This ain't his first ACC rodeo, and MTF would accuse Mother Theresa of corruption if she posted here. As for Snowwy, well, I was told one time to never go against the family. I won't start now.
Q: What are your predictions for the R16 and on?
Johnny Groove: Geez, let me take a look at the draw. I think it will be:
Clay Death vs. Fahrenhajt
sokk vs. Big John
Jolan Gago vs. Magician
calimero vs. Saberq
Sapeod vs. Aloimeh
RFK vs. Nole Fan
Topspin doctor vs. Filo V
Set Sampras vs. Everko
CD vs. Big John
JolanGago vs. calimero
Sapeod vs. Nole Fan
Topspindoctor vs. Everko
Good field this year, I think. Any more than that, I can't predict.
Q: Mr. Groove, do you think about....(just then, a female streaker enters the press room, ala Wimbledon 1996 final. She enters wearing an "I love Johnny Groove" shirt before removing it and swinging it above her head for all to see. Dance music begins out of nowhere, and a stripper pole descends from the ceiling. The lights turn multi-colored and the press room has instantly turned into a strip club!)
Johnny Groove: Whoa! What is all this?
Moderator: Happy Birthday!
Johnny Groove: Haha! It is tomorrow, but thanks a lot anyway!
All of the journalists have now completely forgotten the press conference and are now getting lap dances!
Johnny Groove: Well, this is certainly a plot twist.
An hour later, and the strippers have all left, and one reporter remains:
Q: Mr. Groove, do you regret anything you've ever said or done?
Johnny Groove: Well, most people try not to live life with any regrets, but it is difficult, man. If I had a time machine, would I go back and do some things over? Maybe, I really don't know. Of course I regret some things, but at the end of the day, you gotta be able to look in the mirror and be proud of what you see.
Moderator: Good luck in your opening round, Mr. Groove!
Johnny Groove: Thanks much, man!