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post #1 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-28-2011, 11:27 PM Thread Starter
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Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

3 years ago, I would have done anything to get this girl. Anything. And I did. 3 years ago, I thought about this girl day and night. I would have given anything to get into her pants. Never had sex with her though.

Then, I moved off to college and she stayed back home. Those 3 years I grew up, matured, and I moved back home a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen this girl for 3 years and today I hung out with her for about 4 hours. She was sittin' on my couch in a bikini and we went to the beach for a few hours. If I wanted to, I could have. But for some reason, I had zero attraction for her. She had grown up, but not to the extent that I had.

She was still in that high school mindset. She was still more or less the same person she was 3 years ago. She hadn't matured, she had no direction or motivation in her life, and I was not attracted to her. I remember listening to her talk and talk and talk and thinking: "I can't believe I used to be over the moon for this girl. Now she is becoming less and less attractive with each word she is saying to me."

I couldn't believe it. Has anyone else felt this way about someone they used to be totally in love with? Anyone else used to be crazy about someone and then years later realize you really don't like her at all?

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post #2 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-28-2011, 11:46 PM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

Yeah I've been in a similar thing quite recently. I loved this girl a few years ago so much, stayed with her, did everything with her, I absolutely loved her! One day she told me she was leaving though and well I didn't really think much of it as I thought she would come back, but she didn't. I tried looking for her the last few years but couldn't and I thought maybe she was dead or something but I couldn't accept it as I still had feelings. Then I just don't know, I moved on with someone else and my feelings stopped but I still wanted to know where she was and stuff. Finally not long ago I found a way to find her mum and I managed to get through to the girl like that and we met up for a few days and it turned out she went to rehab and stuff and told me stuff like that if she had told me I would have dumped her and all that crap, but even as she was telling me about her life and stuff the last few years I didn't really care, I just felt nothing for her. Then after a few days she told me she still loved me and for some reason I was telling myself I did as well but in the end I couldn't live pretending I loved her and was honest and said I didn't and that was that really. Always thought if I saw her again maybe I would love her, but it wasn't the case.
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post #3 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-28-2011, 11:50 PM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

Once I read for how long people stay in the "crush" state: up to two years Heard it's chemistry

Might be an answer.

When we have a crush we are just blinded and we think we love. Later it's easier to be more objective.

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post #4 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 12:20 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

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Originally Posted by Certinfy View Post
Yeah I've been in a similar thing quite recently. I loved this girl a few years ago so much, stayed with her, did everything with her, I absolutely loved her! One day she told me she was leaving though and well I didn't really think much of it as I thought she would come back, but she didn't. I tried looking for her the last few years but couldn't and I thought maybe she was dead or something but I couldn't accept it as I still had feelings. Then I just don't know, I moved on with someone else and my feelings stopped but I still wanted to know where she was and stuff. Finally not long ago I found a way to find her mum and I managed to get through to the girl like that and we met up for a few days and it turned out she went to rehab and stuff and told me stuff like that if she had told me I would have dumped her and all that crap, but even as she was telling me about her life and stuff the last few years I didn't really care, I just felt nothing for her. Then after a few days she told me she still loved me and for some reason I was telling myself I did as well but in the end I couldn't live pretending I loved her and was honest and said I didn't and that was that really. Always thought if I saw her again maybe I would love her, but it wasn't the case.
Wild, ain't it? This is the same thing I was going through, Jase.

Never would have thought I'd feel this way about this girl.

Crazy how shit can change from being totally ga-ga about a girl and now feeling nothing.

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Originally Posted by Nathaliia View Post
Once I read for how long people stay in the "crush" state: up to two years Heard it's chemistry

Might be an answer.

When we have a crush we are just blinded and we think we love. Later it's easier to be more objective.
Hmmm, interesting analysis, Nathii

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post #5 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 03:20 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

Yep, Nathii is spot on. This thread is about crushes and not really love - but that's fine too.

I have a story that is sort of similar to this scenario: I had a crush on a girl once, and we were pretty close friends too at the time. But over the next couple of months we both went through a bunch of stuff and we changed and grew apart pretty quickly without any obvious reason.
When I'm attracted to someone I always stop and ponder whether a relationship between us work in the long run. Before we went through those months, I thought we could surely make it. Afterwards I had changed my mind. We were suddenly too different and I wasn't that attracted to her anymore. I still thought she looked good of course, but her personality wasn't that appealing any longer.

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post #6 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 03:42 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

You weren't really in love.
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post #7 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 05:44 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

I guess some people grow older and change completely.

I've been disappointed by at least a few people.
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post #8 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 01:55 PM
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Question Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

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Originally Posted by Johnny Groove View Post
3 years ago, I would have done anything to get this girl. Anything. And I did. 3 years ago, I thought about this girl day and night. I would have given anything to get into her pants. Never had sex with her though.

Then, I moved off to college and she stayed back home. Those 3 years I grew up, matured, and I moved back home a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen this girl for 3 years and today I hung out with her for about 4 hours. She was sittin' on my couch in a bikini and we went to the beach for a few hours. If I wanted to, I could have. But for some reason, I had zero attraction for her. She had grown up, but not to the extent that I had.

She was still in that high school mindset. She was still more or less the same person she was 3 years ago. She hadn't matured, she had no direction or motivation in her life, and I was not attracted to her. I remember listening to her talk and talk and talk and thinking: "I can't believe I used to be over the moon for this girl. Now she is becoming less and less attractive with each word she is saying to me."

I couldn't believe it. Has anyone else felt this way about someone they used to be totally in love with? Anyone else used to be crazy about someone and then years later realize you really don't like her at all?
yeah. noone cares
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post #9 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 05:44 PM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

It's maybe because during this time you've met a lot of other girls you might find very interesting. Attraction is an emotion which vanishes over time.
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post #10 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-29-2011, 05:47 PM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

i know exactly what you mean

i used to fondle peoples pets and various animals and they said it was bad and i used to get beat for doing that...

today, 2 months later i now wonder what the hell i was thinking all those years

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post #11 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2011, 12:46 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

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Originally Posted by Nathaliia View Post
Once I read for how long people stay in the "crush" state: up to two years Heard it's chemistry

Might be an answer.

When we have a crush we are just blinded and we think we love. Later it's easier to be more objective.
Entirely CORRECT.
Let me just add this: once you're a bit older, and have a little more 'experience', one might get to know the difference between 'love' and 'lust'. 'Lust' is very nice, do enjoy it while it lasts (it won't be long ). 'Love' is something entirely different... you never know beforehand when it strikes you. This coming from someone who's now been in a long-time loving relationship with a certain fellow that she's know for over 20 years... and some ten years back then, never would I have guessed ending up with *him*, and neither did he ever expect ending up with *me* - in a relationship, that is!

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post #12 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2011, 12:54 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

Lust and love. There's a difference.

Juan Martin Del Potro


But he lost 23 times against you.
's right. We have to also throw into the mix. But I do not think it is currently the decisive factor. But he has achieved in my opinion too much. Maybe this is crucial if I move him even closer after major victories. But 14 or 17 Grand Slam titles is a significant difference. At the present time there is no question that he must be the greater player than me.

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post #13 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2011, 01:41 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

You were in lust with her, add that to the fact that you never had sex, it was no wonder why you were somewhat obsessed with her, once you got away, forgot about her, the lust banished

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post #14 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 04:17 AM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

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Originally Posted by fast_clay View Post
i know exactly what you mean

i used to fondle peoples pets and various animals and they said it was bad and i used to get beat for doing that...

today, 2 months later i now wonder what the hell i was thinking all those years
You are one insane player, you know that right?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimmyV View Post
We should be appreciative of Federer though, because we will never see anything like him again. The fact he can still compete for slams ever after the erosion of his physical skills is really a greater testament to the natural talent he has than the period of time when he was dominating the tour.
Nadaltards in 2014:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allez View Post
Nadal is by far the most naturally talented player of all time and that is the reason his stay at the top is a lot longer than players like Federer etc were able to do.
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post #15 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 12:33 PM
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Re: Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

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yeah. noone cares


Hasn't the OP already made 7 threads on this?

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