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Losing attraction for someone you were once crazy about

6K views 84 replies 47 participants last post by  Johnny Groove 
#1 ·
3 years ago, I would have done anything to get this girl. Anything. And I did. 3 years ago, I thought about this girl day and night. I would have given anything to get into her pants. Never had sex with her though.

Then, I moved off to college and she stayed back home. Those 3 years I grew up, matured, and I moved back home a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen this girl for 3 years and today I hung out with her for about 4 hours. She was sittin' on my couch in a bikini and we went to the beach for a few hours. If I wanted to, I could have. But for some reason, I had zero attraction for her. She had grown up, but not to the extent that I had.

She was still in that high school mindset. She was still more or less the same person she was 3 years ago. She hadn't matured, she had no direction or motivation in her life, and I was not attracted to her. I remember listening to her talk and talk and talk and thinking: "I can't believe I used to be over the moon for this girl. Now she is becoming less and less attractive with each word she is saying to me."

I couldn't believe it. Has anyone else felt this way about someone they used to be totally in love with? Anyone else used to be crazy about someone and then years later realize you really don't like her at all?
 
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#2 ·
Yeah I've been in a similar thing quite recently. I loved this girl a few years ago so much, stayed with her, did everything with her, I absolutely loved her! One day she told me she was leaving though and well I didn't really think much of it as I thought she would come back, but she didn't. I tried looking for her the last few years but couldn't and I thought maybe she was dead or something but I couldn't accept it as I still had feelings. Then I just don't know, I moved on with someone else and my feelings stopped but I still wanted to know where she was and stuff. Finally not long ago I found a way to find her mum and I managed to get through to the girl like that and we met up for a few days and it turned out she went to rehab and stuff and told me stuff like that if she had told me I would have dumped her and all that crap, but even as she was telling me about her life and stuff the last few years I didn't really care, I just felt nothing for her. Then after a few days she told me she still loved me and for some reason I was telling myself I did as well but in the end I couldn't live pretending I loved her and was honest and said I didn't and that was that really. Always thought if I saw her again maybe I would love her, but it wasn't the case.
 
#4 ·
Wild, ain't it? This is the same thing I was going through, Jase.

Never would have thought I'd feel this way about this girl.

Crazy how shit can change from being totally ga-ga about a girl and now feeling nothing.

Once I read for how long people stay in the "crush" state: up to two years :) Heard it's chemistry :)

Might be an answer.

When we have a crush we are just blinded and we think we love. Later it's easier to be more objective.
Hmmm, interesting analysis, Nathii ;)
 
#11 · (Edited)
Once I read for how long people stay in the "crush" state: up to two years :) Heard it's chemistry :)

Might be an answer.

When we have a crush we are just blinded and we think we love. Later it's easier to be more objective.
Entirely CORRECT.
Let me just add this: once you're a bit older, and have a little more 'experience', one might get to know the difference between 'love' and 'lust'. 'Lust' is very nice, do enjoy it while it lasts (it won't be long ;)). 'Love' is something entirely different... you never know beforehand when it strikes you. This coming from someone who's now been in a long-time loving relationship with a certain fellow that she's know for over 20 years... and some ten years back then, never would I have guessed ending up with *him*, and neither did he ever expect ending up with *me* - in a relationship, that is! :D

TEN years and counting - and never a dull moment ever since! :rocker2:
 
#5 ·
Yep, Nathii is spot on. This thread is about crushes and not really love - but that's fine too.

I have a story that is sort of similar to this scenario: I had a crush on a girl once, and we were pretty close friends too at the time. But over the next couple of months we both went through a bunch of stuff and we changed and grew apart pretty quickly without any obvious reason.
When I'm attracted to someone I always stop and ponder whether a relationship between us work in the long run. Before we went through those months, I thought we could surely make it. Afterwards I had changed my mind. We were suddenly too different and I wasn't that attracted to her anymore. I still thought she looked good of course, but her personality wasn't that appealing any longer.
 
#21 ·
This. The girls' personalities change. If you were living in the same place as her, it'd happen gradually and you wouldn't notice. But if you don't see her in a log time, then you'll see more easily how she's changed.

Also, your own personality may change. I've seen that it's different girls that attract me nowadays than some years ago.
 
#15 ·
:lol:

Hasn't the OP already made 7 threads on this? :scratch:
 
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#12 ·
Lust and love. There's a difference.
 
#13 ·
You were in lust with her, add that to the fact that you never had sex, it was no wonder why you were somewhat obsessed with her, once you got away, forgot about her, the lust banished ;)
 
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#20 ·
The art of a subtle bump.
 
#22 ·
Fun fact: Johnny is still obsessed with this girl as of today.
 
#23 ·
Different girl.

Much different girl.

Though I do acknowledge the possibility of history repeating itself. Hopefully not, but the girl this thread was about, I always knew in the back of my mind, no matter how hot she was, she wasn't "The One".
 
#30 ·
baby story?
 
#32 ·
Face it, I bring quality to MTF.

As for the girl, I mean, this one, I still do think she is the one, she is everything I want, just she needs to grow up a bit. But those eyes, those legs, dat ass, I mean. Damn.

We gonna see what's going on.
 
#33 ·
Face it, I bring quality to MTF.

As for the girl, I mean, this one, I still do think she is the one, she is everything I want, just she needs to grow up a bit. But those eyes, those legs, dat ass, I mean. Damn.

We gonna see what's going on.
No.
 
#37 ·
this is normal, it happened to me before. Sometimes may be we have changed or that person has changed so the feelings have changed too :p
 
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