First of all, you are making an assumption. She actually pursued me initially.
Fair enough, but this does not make a material difference. I am happy to modify my original statement to "not surprised that you would date
etc." and the point remains.
More importantly, age and maturity are not interchangeable terms.
I nowhere suggested that they are. My point was clear enough from my post of last year. It is indisputable that teenage years are highly formative and that people tend to be undergoing a great deal of physical/intellectual/spiritual development during that time and into their early 20's. Is this a controversial claim?
When I was 23 I dated a 17-year-old who wasn't mature.
Bolded portion is redundant. While a person can have maturity relative
to their age (that is, mature for
a 17 year-old or immature for
a 17-year-old), the plain fact of the matter is that 17 year-olds are categorically not yet mature and developed
. (Bear in mind that our yippy young Scot will be 17 next year.)
My current girlfriend is very mature.
See above. For
a 19 year-old, she may well be. But you would have to be extraordinarily
immature and underdeveloped as a 29 year old to be on a level with her, which would be somewhat pathetic and suspicious in its own right.
It is abolutely clear why someone would be skeptical of the future of such a relationship, but you cannot assume that age and maturity always go hand in hand. It isn't that simple.
Of course, I don't think that they go strictly
hand-in-hand, as I mention above. However, it is equally true that age and maturity are
closely linked, especially in childhood and teenage years, i.e. years of tremendous development and growth. This is a biological given
(excepting cases involving retardation, of course).
Moreover, you are not describing a moral objection. There is no moral line being crossed when consenting adults are involved. Certainly, a 50-year-old and a 20-year-old may not be compatible and the relationship will likely fail, but that has nothing to do with ethics.
And I did not present my objection as such ("moral"). Of course, it is not morally wrong in itself
for two consenting adults of differing levels of maturity to engage in a relationship. However, I think that the motivation
for this kind of unequal relationship can be
and indeed often is
morally wrong. Again, see my bolded paragraph above for elaboration on this point.