There was this 13yo MTFer who got someone to start a spotlight thread for him about a year ago. After every response he’d say, "ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS!!!!" It was ridiculous. Please don't turn into him.
PEOPLE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS
1. You hate white people food too? WTF is with pot roast? Pork chops? Mashed potatoes? :retard: What are three of your least favorite white people dishes?
2. Please watch these two clips:
I hate that the sound is referred to as “DOINK DOINK,” but I’ll roll with it.
(a) What do you think of that Youtuber describing the sound as "DOINK DOINK"? How would you describe that sound?
(b) For the rest of your life you will have to either (1) listen to “DOINK DOINK” 40 times each day OR (2) hear the intro music (all 30+ seconds of it) every single time you walk through any kind of door. The “DOINK DOINKs” are guaranteed to come at the most WTF times. For example:
Matty’s Boss: Did you finish that report? *DOINK DOINK
Matty’s cousin: I fell down and skinned my knee. *DOINK DOINK
Starbucks employee: I’m sorry, I added whipped cream without asking whether you wanted it. *DOINK DOINK*
The intro music will not be so loud that it prevents you from hearing others, but the *DOINK DOINK* is sort of loud.
Which do you choose? Why?
3. What exactly do you do for a living? You may have touched on this earlier, but I don't recall. Please describe an average day at work. What might you be doing at 9am? 12pm? 3pm?
What are your parents’ professions?
5. Why you were all no-I-don’t-deserve-a-spotlight-thread-
and then suddenly all OMG-yes!
? What changed? I’m guessing you wanted one all along. Am I right?
6. You have the choice of increasing your height by a minimum of five inches and a maximum of twelve inches. Would you do this? How many inches would you add your height? How would you explain your sudden increase in height to everyone?
7. I was in a hospital waiting room about a week ago, and I got kind of bored. The guy next to me was wearing a Boston Celtics t-shirt, and I considered striking up a conversation with him about the NBA. I decided against it because I used my mentalist abilities to determine that he was neither an NBA fan nor a Boston Celtics fan. You see, the guy was in his early forties and he probably weighed about…450 lbs.—give or take 50 lbs. I figured he was only wearing the Celtics t-shirt because it fit. (I’m guessing it was either XXXL or XXXXL. It’s hard to say because the t-shirt was old and stretchy.)
(a) What do you think of my reasoning?
(b) Please describe a situation where you thought about striking up a conversation with a total stranger but then you noticed something about him/her that made you decide against talking to them.
8. Are you following the NFL playoffs? If so, who do you want to see advance to the Super Bowl? Why?
9. Please rank the following sports starting with the most fun to watch/follow
: basketball, football, baseball, soccer, ATP, WTA, hockey, golf, boxing, and MMA. Also, please give your favorite team/player for each non-tennis sport.
10. Please rank the following sports starting with the most fun to play
: basketball, football, baseball, soccer, tennis, hockey, golf, boxing, bowling, pool, and darts.
11. Please rank the following sports starting with the one at which you most excel
: basketball, football, baseball, soccer, tennis, hockey, golf, boxing, bowling, pool, and darts.
12. How did you react when you first watched Rogelina cry throughout the trophy presentation of the 2009 AO Final?
13. How do you think Rogelina would react if he once again choked against Rafa in the fifth set of this AO’s final? Suppose the match had the same exact score as last year’s match.
14. Rank the five boroughs from best to worst. Please give reasons for your rankings.
15. Why do you think I found it hilarious to hear about the Trinity’s “sad goodbye”?
16. Would you care if no one who has not already posted in this thread asked you spotlight questions but you were still asked a lot of questions?
17. Would you still bother with MTF if Jess got banned or just decided not to post?
18. On a scale of 1-10, how funny is the clip below?
19. Suppose you had to medal in a winter Olympic sport by the age of 36 or else some terrible ‘accident’ would befall your family or whatever. You would be given an annual stipend of $250k up until your 37th birthday. Which event would you primarily target? Which other events might you consider?
20. Suppose instead that you had to medal in a summer Olympic sport by the age of 38. You would be given an annual stipend of $250k up until your 39th birthday. Which event would you primarily target? Which other events might you consider?
21. I was on a treadmill at my gym when this girl (maybe mid-20s) got on the one right in front of me. She wore these tight sweatpants that filled me with lascivious thoughts. Anyway, the sweatpants were completely blue except for the white lettering right on the ass that said “TEAM PINK.”
Suppose my gym has a suggestion box and that they have a policy of replying to all suggestions by email. Do you think the gym would email me if I ‘suggested’ that the gym ban all “TEAM PINK” clothing that do not feature any pink? Please write a response to this suggestion.
22. Let’s say I came to NYC during late August to attend the USO and visit a friend from college. You, Jess, and I make plans to meet up at the USO and take in a match or two. I’m going to now give you a series of hypothetical texts. Please tell me (1) how each text would make you feel
; (2) how you would respond
(e.g. phone call/text/ignore); and (3) exactly what you would say if you chose to respond
(a) Two hours before we’re supposed to meet I send you the following text
: I’ve decided to go to the Met with my friend instead of the USO.
(b) Two hours before
: OMG I’ve decided to go to the Met with my friend instead of the USO. My old anthropology professor is giving a special lecture and he’s invited us to attend. Byesies!!!
(c) Two hours before
: I think I’d rather go to the Met instead of the USO. Sorry, I know this is a shitty move. Do you guys want to meet up for dinner somewhere? My treat. I’ll meet you anywhere.
(d) Two hours before
: I’ve just been mugged. I have no money and no way to get to the USO, but I do really want to go. L
(e) Two hours before
: Im 2 hngover to do anythng. Cant go 2 USO cuz I fell awfull. Soz.
(f) Two hours before
: This is Bibberz’s friend. He wanted me to text you to say that he can’t make the USO because he got in a serious bar fight last night and he’s in the hospital. He says he’s really, really sorry.
(g) Five minutes before
: I’m at the USO right now, but I’m nervous about meeting you two.
(h) Five minutes before
: I’m at the USO right now, but I’m nervous about meeting you two. I’m sorry, but it just wasn’t meant to be.
(i) Suppose I sent the same text as above except that (based on our previous conversations/texts) you knew roughly where I was sitting, what I would be wearing, and what I look like. What would you do?
(j) Five minutes before
: I’ve been detained by USO security for groping Maria Kirilenko’s left bosom.
(k) Five minutes before
: I’ve been detained by USO security for groping Kleybanova’s left bosom.
(l) Five minutes before
: I’ve been detained by USO security for groping Lindsay Davenport’s left bosom
. (Let’s say LD was there as a spectator.)
(m) Five minutes before
: I’ve been detained by USO security for heckling Rogelina. I made him cry. I took pictures.
(n) Five minutes before
: OMG, I just ran into an old high school friend—who happens to be Lindsay Davenport’s assistant! I’ll be sitting with them!
(o) Five minutes before
: OMG, I just ran into an old high school friend—who happens to be Lindsay Davenport’s assistant! I’ll be sitting with them! Fuck off, bitches!!!!
(p) Five minutes before
: OMG, I just ran into an old high school friend—who happens to be Lindsay Davenport’s assistant! I’m sitting with them. LD says Jess can come, but she doesn’t want you around because she thinks you’re creepy.
(Let’s say I only sent this text to you.)
(q) Suppose I sent the last text to both you and Jess
(r) Five minutes before
: I’m at the USO, but I’ve just inexplicably wet myself. I’m in one of the bathrooms. Please help. Seriously, man. SOS.
(s) Five minutes before
: I was just at the USO, but I’ve left the grounds because I just inexplicably wet myself. I’m too embarrassed to meet you guys. Please lie to Jess and come up with a better excuse for why I can’t make it. I’m really sorry.
(t) Five minutes before
: OMG, I JUST RAN INTO BRAD GILBERT!!! He’s invited me to hang with him all day. I don’t think I’ll have time to meet up with you guys. Sorry.
(u) Five minutes before
: I just ran into Brad Gilbert and asked for a picture with him. He told me to fuck off or he would call security. I’m heartbroken. I just want to leave the grounds.
(v) Five minutes before
: Dude, I was snooping around I just saw Killer Cahill and Brad Gilbert making out. They’re still all over each other. Should I take a picture??? What do I do?
(w) Five minutes before
: I just used my cell phone to take a video of Dick Enberg using a series of racial and homophobic slurs to berate his assistant. He saw me and has offered $2,500 cash for my phone. He's insisting on keeping the entire phone. I'll lose a lot of phone numbers. What do I do?
(x) Five minutes before
: La da da dee da da da da La da da dee da da da da La da da dee da La da da da dee da La da da dee da da da da da Be my lover Wanna be me lover?
(y) Five minutes before
: I'm at the USO and I would love to meet you guys, but you must lie to everyone else (IRL and on MTF) and say that we never met. Also, you will not be permitted to take a picture of me. These are my terms. Do you accept?
(z) Five minutes after we've met
: Dude, I can't make it to the USO. I had to take my friend to the hospital--he's gravely ill.
(I'm sitting right next to you at some match and I have a completely straight face.)