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post #31 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-14-2004, 07:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

hehehehe, good one
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post #32 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-14-2004, 07:48 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

Here are more jokes at this thread.

send your jokes please
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post #33 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-14-2004, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

Thanks Frommage!
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post #34 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 09:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

hmmm... it's been a bit quiet in here lately- think it's time to spice things up again:

Two explorers go trekking in the jungle when suddenly they are surrounded by a group of cannibals. The cannibals take them to their village and present them to the chief of the village.

The 2 explorers are petrified and they beg the chief to spare them and let them go. The chief thinks for a few minutes then says to them: "If you complete the task I set each of you, then your lives will be spared and you will be free to go. The first part of your task is to find a fruit in the jungle- pick any fruit you like- and bring back 100 pieces of that fruit. After that, I will tell you what the second part of the task is."

So, both explorers go out looking for fruit. Explorer #1 finds some grapes, and decides to keep collecting them. He finally collects 100 grapes, as demanded and returns to the village.

He presents the grapes to the village chief. The chief says: "Well done on completing the first part of your task. For the second part, I am going to shove all the 100 grapes you brought up your arse. You may not laugh. If you refrain from laughing while I do this, you will be set free. However, if you laugh, we will boil you alive."

Explorer #1 bends over and the chief starts to shove the grapes in his arse. 1, 2, 3, 4...... 99. He is about to put in the last grape when all of a sudden Explorer #1 bursts out in laughter.

The chief asks him "why did you laugh? There was only one grape left to go and then we would have freed you."

Explorer #1 just keeps on laughing hysterically, pointing to Explorer #2 who had returned carrying 100 watermelons with him.
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post #35 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 03:53 PM
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Re: Original Jokes



Great one Rone

Guillermo Coria David Nalbandian Guillermo Cañas Juan Juan Martin Del Potro Juan Monaco Agustin Calleri


"You can fool some people sometimes, but you can´t fool all the people all the time" Bob Marley

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post #36 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 04:09 PM
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Re: Original Jokes

nice one
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post #37 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 07:00 PM
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Re: Original Jokes

There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Guillermo Coria David Nalbandian Guillermo Cañas Juan Juan Martin Del Potro Juan Monaco Agustin Calleri


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post #38 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

Great one Gonzalo81!
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post #39 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-15-2004, 10:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

I don't know how many of you have heard of Tower Air. For those who haven't- they are now defunct (thank God!) and they used to have a reputation of being one of the worst (if not THE worst) airlines in the world when it came to service, punctuality and security.

Anyway, here's the joke:

A Tower Air flight takes off from New York bound for Europe. Halfway through the flight a loud 'boom' is heard. The captain talks on the PA system: "Ladies and Gentlemen, due to an unexplained technical problem engine #1 seems to have exploded, but do not panic. We still have 3 engines left and we are close enough to our final destination to make it safely."

After an hour, another boom is heard. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have lost engine #2. We have had to decrease airspeed, but we can still make it with 2 engines. Stay calm and enjoy the rest of the flight"

After another hour, yet another boom. "Ladies and gentlemen engine #3 is gone. You'll notice the plane slightly swaying to the right, but that is absolutely normal. We are close enough to make it, remain calm!"

Soon after, another boom and the final engine is history. The captain makes the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have lost all our engines and we are going down. For those of you who can swim, take your life jackets from under your seat and gather at the rear of the plane where the flight attendants will instruct you further..... for those of you who do not know how to swim, thank you for choosing to fly Tower Air!"
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post #40 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 02:06 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

could you keep the jokes short, when they are long i dont have the strength to read them lol
ok heres 1 of mine (since i like tennis)...

a guy's out jogging and he spots a brand new tennis ball lying in the road. He picks it up and slips it into his shorts' pocket. later, he's standing on a corner waiting for the light to change.
a blonde is standing next to him, and she sees the bulge in his shorts, so she says, "What's that?"
he says, "Tennis ball."
she says, "oh, that must be painful... I had tennis elbow once."
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post #41 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 02:08 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

spot on mate !!! lmaoooo

jokes are funny when they are short and peopel think you just cant say things like that as down to earth people think hey we need light relef in this stiff upper lip politically correct life lmao

why does tony blair whistle when he drops a log???

so he knows which end to wipe

Last edited by denim; 07-16-2004 at 02:10 AM.
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post #42 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 02:29 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

lol
did you hear about the spanish fireman who named his sons Hose A and Hose B
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post #43 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 02:35 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

why was phillip's girlfriend dissapointed?........because she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a television.
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post #44 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 05:40 AM
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Re: Original Jokes

"What is the difference between Ignorance and Apathy?"

"I don't know & I don't care"

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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post #45 of 769 (permalink) Old 07-16-2004, 10:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Original Jokes

Ok, as requested, here's a short one:

What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

After you dump your load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.
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