Test your Marat Safin knowledge!
1. Marat's season has taken a turn for the better. This can be attributed to:
a. the car accident in Cincinnati
c. his love of NYC, Mother Russia, and roofs
d. all of the above
2. Marat's favorite phrase is:
a. "Bring on the grass season!"
b. "Does this shirt go with that tie?"
c. "A little bit of luck."
3. Marat's favorite animal is the:
d. none of the above
4. Marat's recent hair
cut shave was inspired by:
a. Kolya's and Misha's runs to the USO semis
b. Feli's repeated invitations to his hotel room to "check out my haircare products"
c. Agassi's retirement, a la Blake's tribute outfit
d. a trip to DENIAL, where the moptop never happened
5. Marat's plans for life after tennis:
a. joining Paradorn in celibate monkhood to practice mental disciplines of the East
b. studying to take over Bolletieri's job
c. a beer in one hand and a kid in the other
d. starting World Blog War I with Dima
6. Marat speaks:
II. Ancient Greek
VI. Swiss German
a. II only
b. I, III, IV
c. I, IV, VI
d. I, III, V
e. all of I-VI
f. none of I-VI
7. Marat is to plastic surgery as:
a. fish is to bicycle
b. Spain is to more claycourters
c. Karlovic is to stilts
d. all of the above
8."Q. Are you aware of how much your fans live and die by your matches? If you go on to Internet, people see a breakpoint, they go, Oh, my God, Marat's going to lose it. Are you aware of the interest?
MARAT SAFIN: Well, I thank them for that, and I'm pretty happy that a lot of people like at 11 o'clock in the morning there was some people sitting there even with the terrible weather we have right now. They were sitting there clapping and applauding, they want you to win."
Or, in other words:
a. "Can we not talk about the fans on the internet? Dima goes there, and I'm scared."
b. "My fans are better than your fans."
c. "Am I in danger of being sued for psychological damages?"
d. "At 11 o'clock in the morning we should all have been sleeping still, so I appreciate the devotion."
9. "You know the story of the hippo? The hippo comes to the monkey and says, 'Listen, I'm not a hippo.' So, he paints himself like a zebra, but the monkey says, 'Look at you, you're painted like a zebra but you're still a hippo.' So then the hippo says, 'I want to be a little parrot,' and he paints himself like a parrot. He goes back to see the monkey who tells him, 'Sorry, you're still a hippo.'
"So in the end, you know, the hippo goes back to the monkey and says, 'I'm happy to be a hippo. This is who I am.' So, I have to be who I am and he's happy being a hippo!"
True or false? Marat's favorite holiday is Halloween.
WARNING! Risque and not for the faint of heart!
10. "There is nothing so sexy as a woman who is angry – perhaps when she is even throwing things."
About winning Davis Cup: "Better than sex!"
"2 years older and I am a little bit smarter so I can do it without the girls."
True or false? Marat is happy and fulfilled in all aspects of his life and would not be pleased if a bunch of Safinholics suddenly showed up at his door ready to go canoeing.
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"I couldn't even tell you who the No. 1 ranked tennis player in the world is right now," Federer said. "It's probably me, still. It is, isn't it?" The Onion
Russophilic member of the MTF Perv Squad--objectifying Tarpischev, Kafelnikov, and Volkov like whoa.