A little funny one from the bladder... and don't worry people, it's not true
Kim Clijsters' parents have banned Lleyton Hewitt from their Belgian residence after a recent brunch with the Aussie tennis ace turned into a "four hour nightmare."
Mr. and Mrs. Clijsters were reported to have been very happy with their daughter Kim's relationship with the Hewitt, until the morning he offered to "whip up a late brekky for everyone."
"He decided to start with some soft-boiled eggs," said Mr. Clijsters. "Which was fine by us. But two seconds after he'd dropped the eggs in the water, he put his face into the saucepan and started screaming, 'C'mon! C'mon!' I told him to ease up a bit, but he told me to get the hell out of the kitchen. It was an awful business. Every time one of the eggs bobbled to the surface of the boiling water, he'd give it an awful spray."
Mrs. Clijsters found the ordeal one of her worst ever breakfast experiences. "He should have just let the eggs alone," she said. "It would only have taken three minutes."
Hewitt lost patience and grabbed the eggs out of the water after only forty seconds.
"Watching him hold onto those scalding hot eggs, running round and round the kitchen, shouting, pumping his fists, going red in the face - I couldn't help wondering if this was the right boy for my Kimmy," said Mrs. Clijsters.
After berating the toaster for ineptness, Hewitt placed the eggs on the middle shelf of the Clijsters' oven. He set the temperature to the maximum of 400 C.
"That really frightened me," said Mrs. Clijsters. "To watch him with his head in an overheating oven, screaming 'C'mon!' at half a dozen eggs - it was worse than the night the fox got into the hen-house. I thought it would ever end."
Kim Clijsters defended her intense boyfriends antics, claiming her mum and dad just didn't understand him, and that Lleyton's behaviour was simply part of the way he cooked his eggs.
However, even Kim's loyalty was tested after Lleyton raced off with the eggs and holed himself up in the sitting room with a hairdryer, a bic lighter, and Mr. Clijsters old soldering iron. "C'mon! C'mon!" was all the Clijsters family heard for the next two hours.
The grueling egg ordeal was only ended when Kim's Swiss backpacker friend Martina dropped by to see how everyone was going.
"Everything was mad," said Mr. Clijsters. "But then Martina arrived. She was like a baboon. Wearing this hilarious outfit and primping and preening. All of a sudden people were laughing like drains, falling this way and that; it was a miracle. Even Lleyton began to smile. I'd like to call Lleyton 'Martina', but I'm afraid of what his reaction might be."
Australian cricketer Mark Waugh refused to comment on the issue, citing legal advice.