The Prayer Room revisited (Andy's FRESH PRAYER ON PAGE 3) - MensTennisForums.com
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-02-2007, 05:15 PM Thread Starter
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The Prayer Room revisited (Andy's FRESH PRAYER ON PAGE 3)

Alright! This one came out when I was in one of my moods! Had to belt out the anger on someone, it had to be Roddick! This piece of fact posing as fiction is set right before the AO-Semi final this year, between Rod and Fed.

A-ROD’S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Heavenly father who hears my prayer,
Keep me safe when I head out there,
I know he’s flighty, I know he’s fun,
But just don’t say I’m ‘the Chosen one’
To be chased like a chicken all over the court
Reborn again and again as his scapegoat

Tonight, O’ Lord grant me a change
of fortune; let there be sweet revenge
As I go out there and sweat under the light
See to it that he’s fully polite
That he does not pillage and tear my game
1 win to 12 losses’ already a shame

I’m high on confidence after Kooyong
Full of belief that I am on a song,
My record against him is hardly amusing
So, put an end to this constant abusing.
Tonight, I’ll send this message across
This AO semi-final’s my gain, his loss!

Let me take him down in three straight sets
And see the end of these All-American protests
About my vulnerability with him, they’ve raised a storm
Lord, I desperately need to get back in form
To save myself from being the Fed-Duck
All I need is some luck and more luck!

All of a sudden, I feel this relief
Like magic potion, I’m full of belief
With racquet and skills, I’ll do the talking
6-4, 6-0, 6-2...I’ll send him walking
And rid myself of that horrible habit
Of always ending up as Roger’s Rabbit!
Amen.

That night, Roddick went into the court, full of confidence. Rest is history.

Anybody else who wants to pitch in a few lines can add insult to injury, no offence to A-Rod Fans!

TELLING IT LIKE IT IS:
"“Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer ...But every man wants to BE Rafael Nadal. Which is different.” --PHILIPPE BOUIN, writer; also, a rare, unbiased Frenchman
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-02-2007, 05:17 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

The obssession with Roddick continues on its merry way.

"What kind of shape am I in now? Well round is a shape." said Roddick with a laugh. "I had a very detailed retirement plan, and I feel like I've met every aspect of it: a lot of golf, a lot of carbs, a lot of fried food, and some booze, occasionally — I've been completely committed ... The results have shown."


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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-02-2007, 05:47 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

During the whipping in the second set, he muses:

"Lord, what have I done? Which sin has angered thee?
That my penance must accost such harsh degree?
This must be Tennis Hell, for I'm reduced to a hack,
Oh God! You cannot be serious! He got my overhead back!
Well, I guess I'll vent on the press, all haughty and rude,
But first, (give me strength) let me take out this Chinese dude!

(hits ball out of the park and the racquet flies...)

Verily, the Eyes of Nadal shall gore thy soul...
...but the Hand of Federer shall smite thee.
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 12:57 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Very funny!
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 02:38 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy

“My Lord it can’t be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your son…”

Adversity: The diamond dust that heaven polishes its jewels with.
Dreamers of the day, act with open eyes to make your dreams possible.

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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 03:02 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Lmao.

Hypocrites always wanna play innocent,
Always wanna take it to the full out extent,
Always wanna make it seem like good intent,
And never wanna face it when it's time for punishment.

Lauryn Hill "Lost Ones"
(That's for anyone saying Fed's success boils down to "weak" competition. Well so does your logic.)
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 05:31 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Not bad
Poor Roddick, every tournament all he can hope for is making it to Roger. It is one of the most desperate matchups at this level since Roger does everyting better than him and makes his big weapons useless.

My try at an alexandrin

I can't believe Roger, how can he have the nerve
Breaking me like Coria ridicules my big serve
Passing me down the line with his newfound backhand
His long topspin crosscourt shatters my best forehand

Be it on clay or grass, on hardcourts or indoor
Every time, the verdict goes in Roger's favor
Connors says the answer is to go to the net
But once there all i am is a big red target

Sainte Rita patroness of all desperate causes
Please hear my plea for help, it worked out for Moses
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacemaster View Post
During the whipping in the second set, he muses:

"Lord, what have I done? Which sin has angered thee?
That my penance must accost such harsh degree?
This must be Tennis Hell, for I'm reduced to a hack,
Oh God! You cannot be serious! He got my overhead back!
Well, I guess I'll vent on the press, all haughty and rude,
But first, (give me strength) let me take out this Chinese dude!

(hits ball out of the park and the racquet flies...)
Lol! You're a Wordsworth, PeaceMaster!

Here are a few more lines to continue the thread:

(complaining)
Why him and only him in my freaking draw?
Is this some fundamental karmic flaw?
You leave your children on earth alone in a battle!
If Thou art so shameless, why shouldn't I rattle?
How would I not believe I--am--no--fluke,
If at my talent he should constantly puke?

TELLING IT LIKE IT IS:
"“Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer ...But every man wants to BE Rafael Nadal. Which is different.” --PHILIPPE BOUIN, writer; also, a rare, unbiased Frenchman
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:14 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:15 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by refero*fervens View Post
Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy

“My Lord it can’t be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your son…”
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:27 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seleshfan View Post
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.
Priceless...

Verily, the Eyes of Nadal shall gore thy soul...
...but the Hand of Federer shall smite thee.
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:29 PM Thread Starter
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Talking Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by refero*fervens View Post
Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy

“My Lord it can’t be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your son…”
You rock, dude! Here are some more lines:

(Roddick sits wiping his sweat, boosting his morale before the third set, play held at 6-4,6-0)

13-1 doesn't sound all that bad now...
I stood on two feet, I should be glad...and how?
The Lord moves in mysterious ways, that we all know
Perhaps a lesson for me, He wants to show
When push comes to shove, it can be worse
After all I was only born with this shitty curse...
(...more tomorrow...)

TELLING IT LIKE IT IS:
"“Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer ...But every man wants to BE Rafael Nadal. Which is different.” --PHILIPPE BOUIN, writer; also, a rare, unbiased Frenchman
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:35 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

I like both Andy and Rafa...but these prayers are funny.

Kudos...
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seleshfan View Post
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.
Marvellous! That is sooo Rafa! I suddenly discover how Shakespearean we all are!

If its going to be a 'prayer room'thread aka 'conversations with God', aka conquering the demons' sort of thread, here's an opener, sung in hymn by all in ATP tour:

O Lord of all worlds, we should be dead...
They've reduced our significance to an MTF thread...
(more tommorrowwww)

Keep this thread rolling, Shaky-spears!!
Limmericks...twoliners...anything anyone can recall in their bathtubs!

TELLING IT LIKE IT IS:
"“Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer ...But every man wants to BE Rafael Nadal. Which is different.” --PHILIPPE BOUIN, writer; also, a rare, unbiased Frenchman

Last edited by The_Nadal_effect; 03-03-2007 at 06:40 PM. Reason: change of text
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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 06:45 PM
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Re: All in good fun: A-ROD'S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Nadal_effect View Post
Lol! You're a Wordsworth, PeaceMaster!

Here are a few more lines to continue the thread:

(complaining)
Why him and only him in my freaking draw?
Is this some fundamental karmic flaw?
You leave your children on earth alone in a battle!
If Thou art so shameless, why shouldn't I rattle?
How would I not believe I--am--no--fluke,
If at my talent he should constantly puke?
Thanks mate! You're not too shabby yourself!

Let's see if I can keep this going...

(Andy back in the locker room, after the match)

Forgive me Lord, to the press, I did sarcastically opine,
"It sucked. It was terrible. Besides that, it was fine".
Truth be told, I fear the worst thrashing is still to be,
There's rock-bottom, fifty feet of crap, then there is me!
... I see it now! This is not Hell, it's merely Limbo!
Oh good, with a beer, here comes Jimbo...

Verily, the Eyes of Nadal shall gore thy soul...
...but the Hand of Federer shall smite thee.
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