Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose) - MensTennisForums.com
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Lightbulb Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

Mariano Puerta took a sip from his wife's glass of water. And it was contaminated.

My guess is Mariano's wife wants him home with her all the time and decided to destroy his career.

Sesil Karatantcheva just wanted to have fun with the boys..she never imagined how bad playing with boys could be. Got pregnant, played RG/defeated Venus and aborted, at the age of 15.

Next doping allegations to come:

Andre Agassi starts hanging out with Mariano Hood, and borrows one of Hood's wigs. The wig's flooded with drugs (hair growth). Andre will test positive after reaching USO final and winning the trophy. L'Equipe will give the exclusive to the world.



Gato Gaudio
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 02:21 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

Quote:
Next doping allegations to come:

Andre Agassi starts hanging out with Mariano Hood, and borrows one of Hood's wigs. The wig's flooded with drugs (hair growth). Andre will test positive after reaching USO final and winning the trophy. L'Equipe will give the exclusive to the world.
The USTA will then claim that wigs flooded with illegal substances are commonplace in tennis and that an American player is being singled out. They will then demand all the Spanish and South American players be tested for illegal hair products. Ivan Ljubicic will test positive.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 02:21 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

Quote:
Originally Posted by amierin
The USTA will then claim that wigs flooded with illegal substances are commonplace in tennis and that an American player is being singled out. They will then demand all the Spanish and South American players be tested for illegal hair products. Ivan Ljubicic will test positive.

Talk to the hand because the ears don't hear you.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 03:16 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

Quote:
Originally Posted by amierin
The USTA will then claim that wigs flooded with illegal substances are commonplace in tennis and that an American player is being singled out. They will then demand all the Spanish and South American players be tested for illegal hair products. Ivan Ljubicic will test positive.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 08:05 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

Ljubicic argued he had unprotected anal sex with a drunk tennis fan. "He called himself Rducky or something" the croatian said.

"Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another" .. Madonna

Drooling after Schuettler, Bolelli, Volandri, Starace (short haired version), ToJo, Tursunov, Alves, Petzschner, Simon, Qureshi, Steve Johnson

Last edited by alfonsojose; 12-20-2005 at 08:08 PM.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 08:11 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

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Originally Posted by alfonsojose
Ljubicic argued he had unprotected anal sex with a drunk tennis fan. "He called himself Rducky or something" the croatian said.
You're trying to hard now, i think everyone knows that you are gay
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-20-2005, 08:15 PM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

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Originally Posted by Mike Jones
You're trying to hard now, i think everyone knows that you are gay
You miss!!

Talk to the hand because the ears don't hear you.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-21-2005, 07:25 AM
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Re: Dopingutra - 1001 silly/amazing ways to fail your drug tests (not on purpose)

These excuses are just pathetic... I'm still waiting for the first professional athlete who gets caught and immediately says in a press conference:

"OK, the temptation was too strong, I wanted the fame and money, and I thougt it would be easier to overcome adversity, sponsor pressure and physical tireness taking a few pills. I got caught, I'm totally responsible for what happened and I apologize to my fans. Life goes on, at least I won't put my health at risk anymore..."

This athlete is not yet born I think, and we'lle get some good laughs in the future, like "I took some pills while I was asleep" or stuff like that...

"I asked a bloke in the front row if he liked the serve-and-volley stuff," said Rafter. "He said he did but asked if he was going to get to see any rallies. 'Not today, mate,' I told him."

Last edited by mdhubert; 12-21-2005 at 07:31 AM.
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