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post #1 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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The British Strategy Book

Jeremy Bates 3 simple rules to bring the gold davis cup to the mother country:

1. Once you find out the tie against switzerland is on the red clay quickly gather up a welsh man and 2 scots to proudly play under the St George flag. None of them are English you say? no problem, stick henman on the bbc to analyse the match at every opportunity and give the team a true "English" feel.
Bates logic was obvious of course, the tie is on clay so they must pick a clay court specialist team to travel to Switzerland regardless of nationality. And with a grand total of 1 win on clay over the past 4 years between the 3 of them who could argue with such a team.

2.A captain must come up with tactics. A team that is superb on clay isnt enough. You need tactics. Here Bates came up with a masterstroke that will be talked about for years. The man bamboozled his hapless Swiss opposite number, and the worlds best player, by nominating Mackin to play the first match. Federer admitted under interrogation from Sue Paxman-Barker earlier that the team was expecting him to be playing Andy Murray first-up today, and he was completely non-plussed as a result. Federer was then mentally battered further by young Macadder who resolutely refused to win a single game until midway through Set 3, and deliberately refused to take any of the various break-points Federer lamely offered him. It was obvious to this viewer that Federer was shaken to the core by all this, and I now doubt he will be taking part in Sundays reverse dead rubber singles as a result.

3. A captain must motivate his team. Bates got the absolute best out of the notoriously difficult to handle young ASBO chav Murray Mint. It was a tactical masterstroke for Bates to just peel Murray's bananas for him and let him get on with losing in straight sets.


It is foolish to second-guess Bates now, but I suspect he will be lining up a further surprise tomorrow. My guess is that he'll go with himself against Federer to further soften up the Swiss robot, leaving Murray Mint to bring home the Davis Cup Trophy in the last match with an easy win over Ford Allegro.
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post #2 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 02:38 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

post #3 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 02:47 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

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post #4 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 02:58 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

:retard:

Rafa AlmagroGuilleGaudioCalleriMoyaCHELALuczak


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Roger Federer, what an arrogant asshole.
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post #5 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:10 PM
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post #6 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:19 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

i love how bates and rusedski kept banging on about not playing rusedski on friday and keeping him fresh
frsh for what? to play on sunday when the match is over
Bates is and always = :retard:
altho, its not as if GB would have had any chance of ever winning this tie.. no matter who played or in what order
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post #7 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by Escude
i love how bates and rusedski kept banging on about not playing rusedski on friday and keeping him fresh
frsh for what?
fresh so he can cheer in support of bates against federer in the reverse dead rubber singles
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post #8 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:25 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by Escude
i love how bates and rusedski kept banging on about not playing rusedski on friday and keeping him fresh
frsh for what? to play on sunday when the match is over
Bates is and always = :retard:
altho, its not as if GB would have had any chance of ever winning this tie.. no matter who played or in what order
He's going to have loads of sleepless nights when the new baby arrives - guess he might as well enjoy being fresh and rested while he can!

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post #9 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:35 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by hitchhiker
fresh so he can cheer in support of bates against federer in the reverse dead rubber singles
I am guessing that Roge will give up his chance, and let someone else play the dead singles

(unless he wants to see for himself whether andi is up to all the hype or something).
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post #10 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:37 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book



Vintage Hitchhiker, simply keeps getting better as he ages
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post #11 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:38 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Hitchhiker.....

No.1 - Are you British? You use words like chav which I thought only existed over here?

No.2 - 2 Scots and a Welshman
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post #12 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:39 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by R.Federer
I am guessing that Roge will give up his chance, and let someone else play the dead singles

(unless he wants to see for himself whether andi is up to all the hype or something).

Murray will fly with Federer to Bangkok today or tomorrow morning. He asked him after he match.

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Roger Federer, what an arrogant asshole.
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post #13 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:41 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Hitchhiker you are nuts but this post was definitely one of your finer moments.

although I don't know where you saw the welshman (unless Montreal has become Welsh suddenly?)

Q. You must have so many different emotions going through your head. Was it like a rollercoaster for you?
STANISLAS WAWRINKA: Yeah, yeah, it's quite crazy..I never expect to win a Grand Slam.
I never dream about that because for me, I was not good enough to beat those guy.

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post #14 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:42 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by Federer_Express
Murray will fly with Federer to Bangkok today or tomorrow morning. He asked him after he match.
is that what murray said to federer at the net? i saw him bend over the net and say something in rogers ear.

131 and proud
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post #15 of 135 (permalink) Old 09-24-2005, 03:44 PM
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Re: The British Strategy Book

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1sun
is that what murray said to federer at the net? i saw him bend over the net and say something in rogers ear.
Roger should be grateful, Andy can teach him a few things
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