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post #1 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:14 PM Thread Starter
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Alternative ATP Player Guide

This one came about to amuse ourselves in the scoring thread, while we were waiting for matches, which have been blow outs for the most part, so the idea came about for an alternative Player Guide.

This is not serious and all the contributors bad gambler, jez, hrbatyfan, auscon, Caralimon, Lesak, myself and there will be others in due time.

Here is the list

This is the new guide.

-Kenneth "clay is something you can make small sculptures from if you add some water, but is it possible to play tennis on clay, I don´t think so, but i´ll look it up" Carlsen

-Fernando " I have talent, but no court sense" Verdasco
-Nikolai "Yes, I am the poor mans Kafelnikov" Davydenko
-Tim "I'm on the NHS Dental patients' list which explains my Jaws" Henman
-Robby "I have muscles, but no game" Ginepri
-Olivier "Have a Little" Patience
-Carlos "I am all forehand, but still cool" Moya

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1

Last edited by Action Jackson; 04-20-2005 at 04:18 PM.
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post #2 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

jan "i love fast cars and beautiful women" michael gambill
Gael "formerly known as Mr.18 inches" Monfils
Wayne "I am everything without my serve" Arthurs.
Greg "living it large with the donkeys" Rusedski
mark "give me a break, it's not my fault i wasted my on court abilities and used them off the court" philipoussis
Tommy "I only cramp when serving for the match" Robredo.
Guillermo "I am not a weasel, just clever" Coria
Lleyton "Why didn't you tell me she looked like Mrs Shrek" Hewitt
Andre "my hair gets in my eyes when I'm serving" Agassi
Wayne "I did ok, now hand me a cold beer" Arthurs

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #3 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Jose "I am not stoned, just relaxed" Acasuso
Petr " Nandrolone doesn't work" Korda
Guillermo ''I played Arthurs with a 34% of first serve on clay and I only broke twice'' Cañas
Andre " I don't walk like a duck" Agassi
Todd " I am not the poor mans Hewitt" Reid
Guillermo "Nandrolone did work" Coria
David " They call me Froggy" Ferrer.
Feliciano "If backhands were hair I'd be in good shape" Lopez
Yannick "Grass is for cows, not smoking" Noah.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #4 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:24 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeWHitler
Jose [B]
Petr " Nandrolone doesn't work" Korda
Andre " I don't walk like a duck" Agassi
Guillermo "Nandrolone did work" Coria
Feliciano "If backhands were hair I'd be in good shape" Lopez
Yannick "Grass is for cows, not smoking" Noah.

You forgot
Roger "Guys don't support my opponent, he's gonna lose" Federer
Richard "OK guys I play Challengers but I do beat Fed" Gasquet
Mark "Welcome back to Challenger tour" Phillipoussis
Xavier "Look at an upset tennis player right now" Malisse
Guillermo "Don't cry for me Argentina" Coria
Roger "I look like I'm training with a pal but I'm playing a Slam final" Federer

"I asked a bloke in the front row if he liked the serve-and-volley stuff," said Rafter. "He said he did but asked if he was going to get to see any rallies. 'Not today, mate,' I told him."

Last edited by mdhubert; 04-20-2005 at 04:39 PM.
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post #5 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Feel free to make as many contributions.

Feliciano "I am so beautiful, but I' ve lost my backhand" Lopez
Gaston " I don't have a clue on grass" Gaudio

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #6 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:33 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Marat "Do you have to think and play at the same time" Safin
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post #7 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

David "Winning Finals is My Speciality" Nalbandian

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #8 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:36 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Back then you had:
Stefan "I'm a tennis legend but my forehand sucks" Edberg
Bjorn "I can also smile... sometimes" Borg
Ivan "I am 10 years too early to win Wimbledon" Lendl

"I asked a bloke in the front row if he liked the serve-and-volley stuff," said Rafter. "He said he did but asked if he was going to get to see any rallies. 'Not today, mate,' I told him."
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post #9 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 04:38 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Rafael "Don't shake my hand my fingers stink" Nadal
Lleyton "I like to make friends on tour" Hewitt

"I asked a bloke in the front row if he liked the serve-and-volley stuff," said Rafter. "He said he did but asked if he was going to get to see any rallies. 'Not today, mate,' I told him."
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post #10 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 05:25 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

This thread is excellent!!! keep it up and I'll try to come up with something too

Nobody can actually understand Russians. It's difficult. You can, but it's difficult, right?

The mentality of Russians, it's very strange. Actually, very strong on the court. We know what we want and we fight.

I'm not like American. I have my own picture on wall.
Marat Safin


GO IGOR !!!!

www.andreev-igor.blogspot.com
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post #11 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 05:27 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Good stuff

LA Pics & Reports ~ My New Blog: Adventures of a Picky Foodie! ~ My Travel Blog

to (in no particular order): BryOns | Mandy | MarTy | Isner | Dent | Querrey | Baghdatis | Delic | Oli | N&o | Gasquet | Ferrero | Levine | Malisse | LUX | Melzer | Moya | Nishikori | Haas | Grosjean | Ancic | Mathieu | Calleri | Bolelli | Sela | Blake | more...
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post #12 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 05:42 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Feli "looking hot sure pisses many people off" Lopez
Marat "no racquet should stay alive" Safin
Fabrice "I bet you didnt think there was such a shot" Santoro
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post #13 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 05:54 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Mariano "I am a fitness machine" Zabaleta
Tim "viewers will need a pacemaker" Henman
Sjeng "Wimbledon specialist" Schalken
Gaston "commitment is my middle name" Gaudio

The Wit and Wisdom of the Tennis Journalist, Indian Wells 2004

ROGER FEDERER: Yeah, I remember this one time when I went on a vacation on the Maldives. That was in the year 2001, I think. I went to this spa. I went to walk around with my girlfriend. I walk in, and we want to book a spa. This guy goes, "AHH, I remember you. You beat Sampras. I saw you on TV." That was like, really, how can you remember me? This guy has probably never been off his island and still knows me. I was a little bit shocked. Then I went to play tennis with him because he was actually the tennis teacher. It was nice.

Q. Were you naked at the time in the spa?

ROGER FEDERER: No. It was at the front desk. I didn't walk in naked.
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post #14 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 06:03 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Quote:
Guillermo "Don't cry for me Argentina" Coria

great thread!!!!

How many times must we of shot nerves witness the undoubted pain & suffering of muppets everywhere before we stand up against the cavemen??

One muppet, who wishes to remain anonymous, has this to say: "You know, I uhhhh cannot stay all the time at the you know, base of the line. Too much uhhhh pression."

It is your turn to help - The "Save A Muppet Foundation" needs you!
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post #15 of 241 (permalink) Old 04-20-2005, 06:15 PM
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Re: Alternative ATP Player Guide

Rafael "My right arm is so big" Nadal Parera
Marat "It's my life, let me alone" Safin
Henri "Roland Garros' crowd loved me" Leconte
Andy "Nike and adidas want me" Roddick

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