An interview with Rafa's knees... -
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:08 PM Thread Starter
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An interview with Rafa's knees...

From the AO website -

Like everyone else at Melbourne Park, we here at the AO website have missed Rafa Nadal these past two weeks.

The former champion was all set to come to Australia, via the Middle East, until he was laid low by a stomach virus over Christmas. That forced him to pull out of the events in Abu Dhabi and Qatar and left him with no competitive matchplay before the Australian Open began. As a result, he knew he would be underprepared and so, sadly, took the decision to pull out of the competition.

However, we have been fortunate enough to catch up with Rafa’s knees and, in an exclusive AO website interview, they reveal exactly what they have been doing since Rafa’s last match.

AO website: Good morning gentlemen.
Rodilla izquierda: Buenos días.
Rodilla derecha: Buenos días.

AO website: First of all, we had better sort out who is who. Would you like to introduce yourselves?
Rodilla izquierda: I am the left knee, no?
Rodilla derecha: And I am the right, no? Please excuse our English; it was not our best subject at school.
Rodilla izquierda: And we are not used to giving interviews, not even in Spanish.

AO website: We will make this as painless as possible. So, how are you?
Rodilla derecha: I am very well, thank you.
Rodilla izquierda: And I am much, much better.

AO website: What have you been doing since we last saw you?
Rodilla izquierda: Rehab, rehab, rehab. It has been a long process; long and boring. One step forward and two steps back for month after month. A bit like the England football team, ha ha!
Rodilla derecha: Oh, he loves his football, does Izquierda.
Rodilla izquierda: But we are used to this, no? We are experienced in the ways of the doctors. We must listen to them and do what they say. And Rafa is a patient man; he takes everything in his stride.
Rodilla derecha: Well, he would if you didn’t keep packing up on him. It’s always the same with you: I do all the work and you get all the attention. This supposed to be a team effort, you know.
Rodilla izquierda: Please excuse Derecha. He took the stomach bug very badly. He was all packed and ready to go – you should have seen him with his little hat, his sun block and his thongs all lined up in his suitcase – and then Rafa felt Sid and Dick and all of us had to stay at home.
Rodilla derecha: ¿Qué es Sid y Dick
Rodilla izquierda: It is Cockingney rhyming slang: Sid and Dick means sick. I learned that at Wimbledon.
Rodilla derecha: You never did! There are no Cockingnies at Wimbledon. They don’t allow them in. And the word is Cockney; Cockney rhyming slang.
Rodilla izquierda: Anyway, we have tried to face every problem with calm, no? But even we, who have been through this before, have been tested. Oh, sure, we argue sometimes but we are family and we know it does not mean anything. But when Hoffa’s Pad muscled in on the act, it was very difficult. Like someone once said, suddenly there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.

AO website: Quite. But what have you missed most since you have been away?
Rodilla derecha: That’s easy: we miss Andy Murray’s knees. Particularly his right one. His rodilla derecha.

AO website: You miss Murray’s knees?
Rodilla derecha: Sí.

AO website: What do you talk about when you are hanging out with his knees, then?
Rodilla derecha: We talk shop.

AO website: So you talk about tennis?
Rodilla derecha: No, we talk about knees.

AO website: Knees?
Rodilla derecha: Sí. We have... how do you say: una afinidad?
Rodilla izquierda: An affinity
Rodilla derecha: We have an affinity with Andy’s knees, no? He has... wait, I’ve practised this: a bipartite patella. Good, eh? I bet our English teacher, Señorita García, never thought I could get that right.
Rodilla izquierda: Do you mind getting on with the story?
Rodilla derecha: Sorry. Yes, Andy’s right kneecap is in two pieces. He was born that way. So he has to keep an eye on it.
Rodilla izquierda: He’s not only a tennis player, he is also a contortionist....
Rodilla derecha: Enough with the jokes already! So, we talk about knees and rehab and stuff. Or, “and whatnot” as Andy’s knee always says....
Rodilla izquierda: He is a lovely knee, is Andy’s right knee. Often misunderstood. He is very polite, very humble. We were so pleased when he won the US Open. We texted him right after the final. And he is always texting us to see how we are doing. We are looking forward to seeing him again soon.

AO website: Are there any other knees you keep in touch with or admire?
Rodilla derecha: You cannot help but admire Roger’s knees. All those years together yet never a cross word spoken. Remarkable. And Novak – his knees are so bendy.
Rodilla izquierda: Muy flexible.

AO website: So when will we see you on a tennis court again?
Rodilla derecha: We have been practising with Tommy Robredo in Barcelona and we think we are ready to come back in Chile next month.
Rodilla izquierda: After that it is Brazil and Mexico on clay and then Indian Wells on hard courts. But we think we are ready.
Rodilla derecha: If that is everything, we have to go for a swim now. It’s good for the joints, you know. We like swimming but we don’t like swimming in the sea when it is so deep that we can’t see the bottom. That’s why we don’t like diving.
Rodilla izquierda: Yeah: we’re scared of getting the bends. Knee bends. Geddit?
Rodilla derecha: Oh, you’re a funny man. And unfortunately, folks, he’ll be here all week. Adiós.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:13 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

MTF trolls broke into AO website?

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

Originally Posted by Mateya View Post
If Kneedal wins RG this year, I'll be running topless on Umag centre court.

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:14 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

Mark Lenders banged your girlfriend, I'm sorry to tell you that mate.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:14 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

This is more amusing than that South Park episode where Oprah's vagina shot itself.

unbiased analyst extraordinaire
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:17 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

Oh great another thread about kneedull
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:29 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:31 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

Now I know where jay leno hires his intern writers from.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:33 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:36 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

Originally Posted by ProdigyEng View Post
Originally Posted by rocketassist View Post
This is more amusing than that South Park episode where Oprah's vagina shot itself.
What an awesome episode that was

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:37 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

An interview with Katie Price's knee's would have been so much more interesting. Titled, "Why do we spend so long apart?".
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:38 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...

that is .... strange.

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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 01-27-2013, 07:38 PM
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Re: An interview with Rafa's knees...


Originally Posted by SliceAce
As for Mugray, what can be said? A disgusting human being, and awful player, and a choking pushing mug. He looks like a kemo patient, bald spots, hairless legs, pasty blotchy skin, busted teeth, and an ugly, snarling face. Typical antics all came out in this match: faking injuries, grimacing and cursing, trying to peg Fed, trying to start drama, undeserved final based on an exhausted old man and a joke draw.

I'm no Fakervic fan but he needs to save tennis, sadly tree trunk legs will be fresh. Interesting he's never questioned....
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