I managed to infiltrate Vince Spadea's mind and came up with a little song/rap about the Tennis Masters Cup 2004.
Hope you like it!
Balls flew at the Tennis Masters Cup,
And all the while Federer was on the up,
He took care of them all,
And hit the covers off every ball.
Roger - the best player around on the tour,
He hit the ball at will,
He tackled and brought his opponents down to the floor,
By the end of the week, they'd all had their fill.
Roddick - he stood no chance,
After all he was a Duck,
And all the other players when they saw him,
Were like "What the f***?"
Why aren't you back in your pond?
Roddick replied "This is a venue of which I am very fond."
Lleyton - how can a potato stand up to anyone?
There again, he breezed through the draw,
And peeled poor little Gaston raw,
But when the final came round - he was no match for Roger,
And all he could say was "I lost to a codger."
Marat - now there's a funny man,
An animal too - a Hippo,
But everyone's a fan.
His shots seemed to flow,
And he made it far,
But Roger sabotaged his mud bath,
And filled it with tar.
Then there was Carlos - the most careless player of them all,
He'd hit out, into the net, into the stands, slip over, and fall,
He did give Hewitt a scare,
But ultimately Fed ran away with his underwear.
Coria - now there's an under-age player,
He cries, hates his pram, throws his rattle and quickly filled his nappy,
This made the Duck, Hen and Hippo very happy,
They used him as their whipping boy,
And all Coria could do in retaliation was shout "Oy!!!"
An English gentleman in Texas - how spiffing!
All Coria could do was continue sniffling,
Tim thrashed him but found the two animals hard to bear,
Hippo charged at him and Duck attacked from the air.
The Englishman ran them down to the wire,
But Hippo finished him, drowning Hen in his mire.
Finally there was poor little Gaston,
Nobody really knew where he came from,
He didn't put up much of a battle,
Which is strange in that he didn't face any cattle.
Indeed he was up against men,
But they proved too much for him again!
The tournament organiser was an idiot called Mac,
He spent most of the tournament with his head up his crack,
He didn't like the foreign players or the fans of them at his venue,
And he pushed away a Russian fan complete with flag,
Who had the audacity to try to sit next to him,
Saying "Get away - I don't like you.
You should support Andrew with life and limb."
But there again he did a good job to get the matches completed in time,
Which the Hen thought was a real crime,
After all, he brought the rain with him thinking it would help,
But instead the Hippo bit him making him yelp.
Mattress - thank you for a great week,
We all enjoyed seeing the players do battle,
Many liked the champion's new do' - it was sleek,
But remember next time - don't invite the cattle!
Thank Y'all! Slim Spady.