MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general - MensTennisForums.com
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post #1 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 01:55 AM Thread Starter
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MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general

Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1

Last edited by Action Jackson; 03-21-2009 at 06:34 PM.
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post #2 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 01:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Since Rafa believes in the circus act of RR.

I figure there are some other tricks he could do. He could grab a coconut or a walnut and put them between his butt cheeks and see if he could crack them by flexing.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1

Last edited by Action Jackson; 10-04-2007 at 09:05 PM.
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post #3 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 01:59 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The three players in the RR group try to pick up the most phone numbers at a bar, highest total goes through.

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post #4 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:00 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

5-set matches will not disappear, but the player may ask any other player to replace him (except for Federer on all surfaces and Nadal on clay).
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post #5 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:00 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.
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post #6 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Quote:
Originally Posted by GlennMirnyi View Post
5-set matches will not disappear, but the player may ask any other player to replace him (except for Federer on all surfaces and Nadal on clay).
That is known as the James Blake solution.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #7 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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Mr Disney De Villiers Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

If the player argues with the umpire over a line call or Hawkeye then that player gets an electric shock for showing dissent against the ATP.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1

Last edited by Action Jackson; 12-11-2006 at 06:01 AM.
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post #8 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:03 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCtennisfan View Post
Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.


Towards that end, players refuse to play in cold conditions.

Last of the moon-and-volley specialists.

I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you don't like? ---Jean Cocteau
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post #9 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:06 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeWHitler View Post
If the player argues with the umpire over a line call or Hawkeye then that player gets an electric shock for showing dissent against the ATP.
Right from Orwell's 1984, the new motto of ATP:
TWO AND TWO MAKE FIVE.
DE VILLIERS IS WATCHING YOU.
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post #10 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:24 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterQ View Post


Towards that end, players refuse to play in cold conditions.
According to some other threads on MTF, even the cold wouldn't stop certain players in TB sich-e-ations.
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post #11 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

For events in the States.

- Both players have to ride a bull and whoever lasts longest wins the match.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #12 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:30 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

If a player hits more than 5 double faults in a match, a lucky fan is picked who gets to

a) slap the player
b) spank the player
c) fellate the player for encouragement
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post #13 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 02:57 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

When players shout in their own language, they don't get penalized as long as they translate for the benefit of the audience, who thereby get free lessons in obscenities. This will increase not only audience entertainment, but also participation, because once audience members learn these new words, they can start yelling back.

Example 1: Berdych swears in Czech, translates, Madrid audience now equipped to cuss him out in his own language every time he hits a winner.
Example 2: Safin plays well, then starts to choke, and fans who are now fluent from previous matches yell at him in Russian.

Fan of: Federer Safin Haas Nadal Santoro Agassi Tursunov's blog

"I couldn't even tell you who the No. 1 ranked tennis player in the world is right now," Federer said. "It's probably me, still. It is, isn't it?" The Onion

Russophilic member of the MTF Perv Squad--objectifying Tarpischev, Kafelnikov, and Volkov like whoa.
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post #14 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 03:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Ljubo should do a striptease after he wins or start abusing umpires and come onto court wearing a robe with "Ivan the Terrible" on the back.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #15 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-28-2006, 03:08 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeWHitler View Post
Ljubo should do a striptease after he wins .
That's a good way to get the spectators out and on their way quickly.

Last of the moon-and-volley specialists.

I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you don't like? ---Jean Cocteau
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