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MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general

44K views 598 replies 231 participants last post by  Looner 
#1 · (Edited)
Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)
 
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#315 ·
Re: The top 4 seeds should receive first 3 "bye" and play best of 5

:haha:
it's funny how many people were offended or took it personal as if they were the ATP players and I were ATP authority?! What's behind it?

Great laugh anyway.
:haha:
Your an idiot...
 
#317 ·
Seems like GrosjeanziGreat wants to run the game.
 
#319 ·
Re: The top 4 seeds should receive first 3 "bye" and play best of 5

the top 4 should get a bye to the Final. There a new point system should be introduced. Everybody vs. Everybody else. if you hit a winner you get a point if you make a error you lose one. who, who gets to 100 points first wins. serve is winners ball. 2 balls in play at the same time. no ref.
 
#328 ·
A suggestion for ATP:

Put up better profile photos of players for better marketing.
 
#333 ·
Re: The top 4 seeds should receive first 3 "bye" and play best of 5

avatar isn't important,
you said you are serbia and i just want to say serbian funs are not so good in tennis.
Cant you give it a break? Don't you think it might be more intelligent, to try to get along with each other?
I believe, it is not easy, but maybe better then killing each other for the next 500 years, no?
 
#334 ·
Slam`s should get more interesting names (after most famous players) :
Aus Open = St. Gooch`s Cup
RG = Captain Robby Ginepri`s Challenge
Wimby = The Official King Oscar`s Gentlemen Championship
Us Open = Bang Bang Cup
ATP W.T. Final should be renamed as "Jean Rene Lisnard and his friends ligue"
 
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#339 ·
Oz Open: Dehydration and fainting championships.
RG: Rafa Nadal's annual walk in the park.
WB: Rain and grass Summer soiree.
US: Billie Jean King's angry lesbian funfest.

New court namez:

Rod Laver=Mark Phillipppoussis' knees memorial arena.
Margaret Court=The Woodies ejection.
Centre Court=John Lloyd's bald head dome.
Court One=Cliff Richard rockstage.
Suzanne Lenglen=Amelie Mauresmo's biceps ballroom.
Phillipe Chatrier=Napoleon's Waterloo stadium.
Arther Ashe=Gunther Parche amphitheatre.
Louis Armstrong=Monica Seles' gruntathon grounds.
 
#335 ·
Good work Marcus. There should be an award for winning Madrid, that Tiriac has to have his moustache shaved.
 
#340 ·
Madrid clay should be slower. So it actually plays like clay.
 
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#341 ·
Masters events series should be known as Slams now, so Murray will have a Slam.

This Helfant is following the Disney path.
 
#342 ·
Clydey and Sapeod should commentate Murray matches and conduct the post match interview nude.
 
#343 ·
:lol: That could attract the Monthy Python fanbase to tennis
 
#344 ·
It could work.
 
#346 ·
1.When Norm Chryst walks into an arena, crowd shout 'Norm!' reminiscent of ze bar regulars in Cheers.

2. Hawkeye replaced with Fedeye. When player challenges, Federer inspects ze call and decides if in/out. He doesn't even have to be playing in the same match, just call him up at hiz motel.

3. Threaten linespeople with Serena Williams as an incentive to improve their performance.
 
#351 ·
How would you change the the ATP Tour?

AO -> mars
IW + Miami -> feb
Shanghai -> jan
Paris -> cemetary
Monte Carlo -> Germania
WTF -> late sep/early oct
Montreal/Toronto -> grass

Voila! The whiny top players have a proper off-season, Europe's biggest country (Russia doesn't count) has a masters instead of snobby MC and the grass season is actually a season.

It's so obvious.
 
#367 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

AO -> mars
IW + Miami -> feb
Shanghai -> jan
Paris -> cemetary
Monte Carlo -> Germania
WTF -> late sep/early oct
Montreal/Toronto -> grass

Voila! The whiny top players have a proper off-season, Europe's biggest country (Russia doesn't count) has a masters instead of snobby MC and the grass season is actually a season.

It's so obvious.
Shanghai and WTF should be indoor carpet, IW and Miami need to lose a round (sorry mugs)and all masters finals should definitely be best of 5. Best of 3 is so WTA. Ideally, the grass AMS will be played before Wimbledon.

ATP Tour 2011

January

Shanghai - Indoor carpet

February

Indian Wells - Slow hard
Miami - Slow hard

Mars
Australian Open - Slow hard

April

Hamburg - Red clay
Rome - Red clay

May

Madrid - Blue clay
Roland Garros - Red clay

June

Canada - Slow grass

July

Wimbledon - Fast grass

August

Cincinnatti - Fast hard

September

US Open - Fast hard
ATP World Tour Finals - Indoor carpet

October

Grand Slam of Nations


All minor events have been scrapped
 
#352 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

Interesting. I think Nadal would be the favorite on the red planet.
 
#366 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

Interesting. I think Nadal would be the favorite on the red planet.
Well you'd expect so, since the gravitational attraction on Mars, being of much smaller mass than the Earth, would be much less; so a game on Mars would be much slower than on Earth. Also, it would be less stressful on his knees. The absence of oxygen might be a problem though.
 
#362 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

Replace every single clay court on tour with a grass or hard court!
Would it not be easier to ban Nadal from playing clay court events.
 
#354 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

There are 9 Masters 1000 events, I'd split it into 3 for each surface. Remove some events from North America/ Canada and shift them to South America.

Also, just for laughs, I'd put one of the Clay 1000's in the US, should be fun :D
 
#356 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

There are 9 Masters 1000 events, I'd split it into 3 for each surface. Remove some events from North America/ Canada and shift them to South America.

Also, just for laughs, I'd put one of the Clay 1000's in the US, should be fun :D
Replace every single clay court on tour with a grass or hard court!
A combination of these. Get rid of clay tourneys. Make the season 3 parts(grass, hard, carpet), with an equal number of Masters Series and 1 Slam for each surface.
 
#355 · (Edited)
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

I would change so they got 4 serves instead of just 2. On break points they should get 6 serves.

Lower the height of the net by about a foot or so.

Then I would speed up the surfaces like they were playing on ice or something.

I would make all matches best of 7 sets with no tiebreaks in any set.

Finally, I would add a few mandatory tour stops in places like Des Moines, IA, Pigs Knuckle, AR and Swamp Water, FL in the dead of summer.
 
#357 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

1) Get rid of every clay court event.
2) Ban all the pushers on tour.
3) Ban all the mugs who have overachieved on tour.
4) Fix the rankings so that King Oscar is world number 1.
5) You have to serve underarm.
6) Make the World Tour Finals feature the 8 biggest mugs of the year.
7) Make Newport and Delray beach Grand Slams.
8) Ban top 15 players from playing Grand Slams.
9) Play all the Grand Slams on the same 2 weeks.
 
#402 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

1) Get rid of every clay court event.
2) Ban all the pushers on tour.
3) Ban all the mugs who have overachieved on tour.
4) Fix the rankings so that King Oscar is world number 1.
5) You have to serve underarm.
6) Make the World Tour Finals feature the 8 biggest mugs of the year.
7) Make Newport and Delray beach Grand Slams.
8) Ban top 15 players from playing Grand Slams.
9) Play all the Grand Slams on the same 2 weeks.
This is by far the best post.

I think point 9 could be improved, though: play all the slams the same 2 weeks AND allow for slam hopping. If you win 4th round say RG, why shouldn't you be able to choose playing the QF in say USO? And so forth.

Best part is we'd get to have a whole new bunch of titles, each with its own new fancy name: winning all 7 matches on the same slam (how boring!) would be called a 'solo', if it's on two events a 'biped', on 3 a 'triped' and on 4, a 'squatting on all fours'.

Think of the opportunities that would open on MTF!! We could have endless arguments on whether Nadal's 6 clay-grass bipeds really can be compared to Fed's 4 tripeds. And WordLife could still insist if we wait enough we'll get to see Murray squatting on all fours.
 
#359 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

I spent ten minutes trying to find JimmyV's post but no luck. In response to a similar thread a while back, he suggested adding a second net one foot above the first net, thus ending most moonballing.
Or it could just give rise to ultra-moonballing :p
 
#360 ·
Re: How would you change the the ATP Tour?

Remove IW or Miami or make them clay events and bring the french open closer remove Monte Carlo and add a Grass masters. Replace HC at Shanghaii/Tokyo/Beijing/Paris/Basel with Carpet and play the Masters Cup on Carpet but HC wouldn't be bad on that. Tennis needs more variety atm, it would make the sport a whole lot more interesting.
 
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