- Every tennis match will have at least one bloody incident; the players will have various props at their disposal for that purpose
1. Tennise matchez must follow ze example of wrestling, with steel chairs, ring bells, tables, two-by-fours and high flying body slams and moonsaults off of ze umpire's chair a common occurrence henceforth.
2. Doubles teamz must be referred to az tag teams from hereon in, with cool monikers, e.g. Bob and Mike Bryan become The California Wildcats
3. Valets must accompany players to ze court at all times, wearing as little as possible. These valets can be local prostitutez, stripperz or playerz from the WTA.
4. Each player must have his own theme music. Examples:
Grosjean: Simply The Best
by Tina Turner.
Murray: The theme tune from Happy Days