Originally Posted by Frooty_Bazooty
new grand slam court surfaces-:
Australian Open - Water. The players must swim around the court as fast as possible, attempting to hit the ball before it gets wet. In the final set, sharks will be introduced into the court/pool to make the set more interesting.
Australian officials covertly chum Hewitt's opponents.
French Open - In a cave. The players must play in a cave with no light, umpires or spectators.
The French Tennis Federation approves, as it is easier than building a roof.
Wimbledon - Ice. Players must play bare foot and run around the court trying to pick up the most amount of injuries possible. The player with the most injuries moves onto the next round where they withdraw. Therefore the ATP solves its problem with sceduling in SW19 cos there is only one round. Hernandez is deemed champion if its a Tuesday and Henman if its any other day.
Officials are shocked when Tonya Harding skates across the court and takes down Maria Sharapova.
US Open - Glue. Players are lowered onto court by a crane with fireworks and loud music. Then they must stand there for 3 hours. In the case of a tiebreak, the players must make macaroni pictures of their favourite animal and show them to their moms. Whoevers mom is happier, wins the tiebreak.
Sticky-footed players yearn for rebound ace.