MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general - Page 13 - MensTennisForums.com

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post #181 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 08:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Now the TMS winners will be called he won the "1000" tournament, fuck that's good.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #182 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 08:41 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

We need to get the old legends back to save tennis from the bunch of uncharismatic, nonamerican, 5 meters behind the baseline ballbasher clowns who are ruining the sport.

If you are over 35 you should start every set with a 1-0 lead, 40+ year olds start every set with 2-0 leads, 45+ year olds with 3-0, 50+ 4-0 and if you are over 60 you start every set with 5-0, 80 year olds start with 5-0 and 40-0 in every game. Also if an old guy comes to the tennis court with a wood raquet younger players will be forced to also use wood raquets.
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post #183 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 08:59 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

- After each set the umpire will conduct a 'Simon Says' game between the players. Who wins starts the next set 1-0 up

- Hawk Eye will be replaced by public voting. Every seat will have buttons where spectators can vote 'in' or 'out' whenever a player makes a challenge

- Hip-hop music will be played during matches (note: during Robredo matches will be played classical music for obvious reasons)

- Final set will be replaced by a burping contest. To facilitate the players a beer tank will be put at the seats so players can help themselves during changeovers

http://www.menstennisforums.com/show...&postcount=378

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Originally Posted by FormerRafaFan View Post
That will be the last victory of Rafa for quite some time.. With his joke mentality and pathetic game, I hope the disgusting player loses every single match next season. He's disgraceful. He should just retire. He's a joke.
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(10) Corey Feldman vs. (12) scarecrows
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post #184 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 12:26 AM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

If both first and second serves are faster than 200 km/h but out, the player will have 2 additional serves. If this persists, he will have as much serves as he needs to put the ball in.
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post #185 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 03:09 AM
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Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

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Originally Posted by NYCtennisfan View Post
Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.
Yes yes yes!
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post #186 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 07:07 AM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Players who don't have direct entry in the "1000" events will not be in the same locker room as those who have. They will have a separate locker room that will be gated and guarded.

Salvor Hardin: "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"

From Isaac Asimov's "Foundation".
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post #187 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 12:13 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

-The ball will be replaced with a national emblem of the country in which the tournament is being played. So in the Nethersland, players must hit tulips at each other and in India, the players must both hit a cow at each other.

-Sockcam - at break, set and match points, the camera must switch to Sockcam and focus only on the players socks so that we can see what the players socks look like in vital situations

-instead of prize money, players shall be given 5 virgins and a strip of land in the local park

-Instead of tiebreaks, the players must get their grannies to come onto the court and mud wrestle while the spectators throw their countries national emblem at the grannies (tulips for holland, cows for india)

Andy Murray ~ Richard Gasquet ***David Nalbandian*** Rafael Nadal ~ Gilles Simon
Paw Ranking (Race) : ? (?)
Brought PAW to MTF in 2004
Year end no. 1 in 2012

PAW Titles : 9 (WIMBLEDON '12, Washington '11, Acapulco '08, Stockholm '07, Houston '05, Monte Carlo TMS '04, Newport '04, Beijing '04, Moscow '04)
Finalist: 15 (Buenos Aires '12, Stockholm '11, Barcelona '11, Queen's 09, Nottingham '08, Las Vegas '08, Adelaide '08, Tokyo '06, St Poelten '06, Australian Open '05, St Poelten '05, Newport '05, Wimbledon '04, Houston '04, Basel '04)
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post #188 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 12:32 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

new grand slam court surfaces-:

Australian Open - Water. The players must swim around the court as fast as possible, attempting to hit the ball before it gets wet. In the final set, sharks will be introduced into the court/pool to make the set more interesting.

French Open - In a cave. The players must play in a cave with no light, umpires or spectators.

Wimbledon - Ice. Players must play bare foot and run around the court trying to pick up the most amount of injuries possible. The player with the most injuries moves onto the next round where they withdraw. Therefore the ATP solves its problem with sceduling in SW19 cos there is only one round. Hernandez is deemed champion if its a Tuesday and Henman if its any other day.

US Open - Glue. Players are lowered onto court by a crane with fireworks and loud music. Then they must stand there for 3 hours. In the case of a tiebreak, the players must make macaroni pictures of their favourite animal and show them to their moms. Whoevers mom is happier, wins the tiebreak.

Royal Rumble SLAM!!! - all 128 players must stand on the court and hit balls at each other until only 1 person is left standing

Andy Murray ~ Richard Gasquet ***David Nalbandian*** Rafael Nadal ~ Gilles Simon
Paw Ranking (Race) : ? (?)
Brought PAW to MTF in 2004
Year end no. 1 in 2012

PAW Titles : 9 (WIMBLEDON '12, Washington '11, Acapulco '08, Stockholm '07, Houston '05, Monte Carlo TMS '04, Newport '04, Beijing '04, Moscow '04)
Finalist: 15 (Buenos Aires '12, Stockholm '11, Barcelona '11, Queen's 09, Nottingham '08, Las Vegas '08, Adelaide '08, Tokyo '06, St Poelten '06, Australian Open '05, St Poelten '05, Newport '05, Wimbledon '04, Houston '04, Basel '04)
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post #189 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 03:50 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, in light of banning Entry Lists

Quote:
Originally Posted by stebs View Post
Hurdles are placed on the service lines so that when a drop shot is hit the player must jump them to get to the ball.
Unfair on Rochus.
Quote:
The tennis ball is replaced by a small bomb, last player left alive after the explosions is the winner.
Djokovic has an unfair advantage because he iz used to dodging bombz.
Quote:
Originally Posted by scarecrows View Post
- After each set the umpire will conduct a 'Simon Says' game between the players. Who wins starts the next set 1-0 up
What if Gilles Simon iz playing? It'll get confusing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCtennisfan
Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.
Unfair on my opponentz.
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post #190 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-05-2007, 04:56 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merton View Post
Players who don't have direct entry in the "1000" events will not be in the same locker room as those who have. They will have a separate locker room that will be gated and guarded.
Just so I'm clear here - the players with direct entry will be in the locked and guarded locker room?
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post #191 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-08-2007, 12:29 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

1. Quicksand to be ze only surface. Last player to hit ze ball over ze net before sinking and dying iz declared ze winner.

2. Gunter Parche to be let loose with a knife at ze change of endz. Playerz need to avoid being stabbed until ze umpire callz time.

3. Sumo wrestling to decide tiebreakz. If Nalbandian iz playing, then just award him ze tiebreak to save ze spectatorz ze horror.

4. Elvis impersonators instead of umpires.

5. Stilts and G-strings mandatory.

6. Ballboyz and ballgirlz to be replaced by Oompa Loompas.

7. Instead of prizemoney and a trophy, winners are given a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
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post #192 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-08-2007, 12:40 PM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, in light of banning Entry Lists

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrosjeantheGreat View Post
Unfair on my opponentz.
Sometimes I wonder if you actually are the real Seb

Filippo VOLANDRI, Pablo ANDUJAR, Yuki BHAMBRI, Fabio FOGNINI, Thomaz BELLUCCI,
Santiago GIRALDO, Donald YOUNG, Gael MONFILS, Juan Martin DEL POTRO, Alexandr DOLGOPOLOV


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Monaco|Garcia-Lopez|Dancevic|Granollers|Cilic|Schwank
Wolmarans|Ferrer|Robredo|Alcaide|Starace
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post #193 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-09-2007, 03:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Quote:
Originally Posted by amierin View Post
Just so I'm clear here - the players with direct entry will be in the locked and guarded locker room?
Yes, they will have personalised rooms and the ones who don't have direct entry have to stay in a tent.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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post #194 of 599 (permalink) Old 10-09-2007, 04:00 AM
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frooty_Bazooty View Post
new grand slam court surfaces-:

Australian Open - Water. The players must swim around the court as fast as possible, attempting to hit the ball before it gets wet. In the final set, sharks will be introduced into the court/pool to make the set more interesting.
Australian officials covertly chum Hewitt's opponents.

Quote:
French Open - In a cave. The players must play in a cave with no light, umpires or spectators.
The French Tennis Federation approves, as it is easier than building a roof.

Quote:
Wimbledon - Ice. Players must play bare foot and run around the court trying to pick up the most amount of injuries possible. The player with the most injuries moves onto the next round where they withdraw. Therefore the ATP solves its problem with sceduling in SW19 cos there is only one round. Hernandez is deemed champion if its a Tuesday and Henman if its any other day.
Officials are shocked when Tonya Harding skates across the court and takes down Maria Sharapova.

Quote:
US Open - Glue. Players are lowered onto court by a crane with fireworks and loud music. Then they must stand there for 3 hours. In the case of a tiebreak, the players must make macaroni pictures of their favourite animal and show them to their moms. Whoevers mom is happier, wins the tiebreak.
Sticky-footed players yearn for rebound ace.

Last of the moon-and-volley specialists.

I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you don't like? ---Jean Cocteau
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post #195 of 599 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 01:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Mr Disney welcomes MTF suggestions to reform ATP, honouring WTF instead of the TM

Bercy is trying to reduce the field to 32 for a TMS event, this is one Mr. Disney should agree with.

Increased ticket prices as well.

On Nadal bumping him on the changeover, Rosol said: "It's ok, he wanted to take my concentration; I knew he would try something".


Wilander on Dimitrov - "He has mind set on imitating Federer and yes it looks good. But he has no idea what to do on the court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I definitely would have preferred Gaba winning as he needs the points much more, but Jan would have beaten him anyway. I expect Hajek to destroy Machado, like 6-1 6-2.
Machado wins 6-2 6-1
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